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How would you change the end of your favorite movies?

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  • #31
    Titanic:

    LOOKOUT: Iceberg, right ahead!
    OFFICER: Hard-a-starboard!

    ...

    CREWMAN: We missed the berg!
    EVERYONE: YAY!
    STEWARD: Sir, I caught this obnoxious blond steerage vagrant posing as a First Class passenger.
    CAPTAIN: Throw him overboard.

    *SPLASH*

    AUDIENCE: YAY!

    Credits.
    Tutto nel mondo è burla

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    • #32
      Boris
      "I have been reading up on the universe and have come to the conclusion that the universe is a good thing." -- Dissident
      "I never had the need to have a boner." -- Dissident
      "I have never cut off my penis when I was upset over a girl." -- Dis

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      • #33
        yes, I agree. Titanic is unfairly overrated in humble opinion
        Trying to rehabilitateh and contribuing again to the civ-community

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Uber KruX
          chop off the ending of AI: Artificial Intelligence when he stares at the fairy. no need to go into the alien crap. i hate spielberg.
          Jesus God Almighty, yes! Even my then-11-year-old daughter understood, without prompting, that that was where the movie ended.

          In a similar vein, Mystic River should have ended with Kevin Bacon talking to Sean Penn the morning after. The next 15 minutes -- especially Laura Linney's completely-out-of-left-field monologue -- are unnecessary, unearned, and completely anti-climactic.

          And while we're bashing Spielberg: who here is old enough to have seen the original Close Encounters, before Spielberg himself recut it and actually made it worse? In the original, Dreyfuss goes into the ship, but we stay outside; the wonder of the ship remains a thing of the imagination. But our boy Steve never, ever, leaves to the imagination anything he can show in all its banality (scored to "When You Wish Upon a Star," just in case anyone missed the point). Blech.

          But here's my all-time, number one gripe in this vein: Face Off should have obviously ended with the two protagonists completely switching places, rather than going back to their own lives; this is clearly where it was headed (especially since that would have mined a theme that is so wonderfully John Woo-ish), and Hollywood just as clearly chickened out, opting for happy ending over powerful myth. Double blech and then some.
          "I have as much authority as the pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." — George Carlin

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          • #35
            And while we're bashing Spielberg: who here is old enough to have seen the original Close Encounters, before Spielberg himself recut it and actually made it worse? In the original, Dreyfuss goes into the ship, but we stay outside; the wonder of the ship remains a thing of the imagination. But our boy Steve never, ever, leaves to the imagination anything he can show in all its banality (scored to "When You Wish Upon a Star," just in case anyone missed the point). Blech.


            Iirc, that's not how Julia Phillips recounts the story. She claims that the extra footage was shot but wasn't inserted because Spielberg had final cut on this picture... but not on any re-releases.

            Therefore the original was shown as Spielberg wanted it at that time.

            However the re-release (I think it was in '79 or '80) was not under Spielbergs control and the extra footage was added in. From what I remember about Columbia's financing at that point in time, they really had no choice but to do it - Dave Begelmann was about to get arrested for kiting checks (in the name of Cliff Robertson, if you can believe it), the company was under severe financial constraints due to a series of VERY expensive misfires (Annie for example) and was eventually sold to Coca-Cola in '82.

            Sadly, Spielberg has come to terms with the special edition and allowed all that extra footage that he originally didn't want in the DVD (which he did have final cut).

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            • #36
              About AI:

              Aliens??? They are supposed to be robots, much more sofistied. I didn't see that as a bad thing, I like the ending.
              Trying to rehabilitateh and contribuing again to the civ-community

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              • #37
                Of course they are robots. I didn't like the movie either, but pretty much discount people's opinions when they start complaining about aliens - it shows they weren't paying attention in the first place.

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                • #38
                  Terminator 2. End without making T3.
                  I'm consitently stupid- Japher
                  I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned

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                  • #39
                    I can't think of a way to make the Austin Powers III ending any more perfect.
                    Blog | Civ2 Scenario League | leo.petr at gmail.com

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                    • #40
                      Not really one of my favorite movies, but perfect for this topic: "Fools Rush In". In my version, Salma Hayek doesn't stop the truck in time. Matthew Perry is knocked over the side of Hoover Dam, and falls toward the river. On the way down, he has a vision of what would have happened if the truck did stop. It goes just the way the movie really ended, with the tearful reconciliation, the birth of her baby, her agreeing to move to New York with him, their marriage. But the vision continues to their life a few months later, and shows her *****ing at him about how miserable she is in New York--a constant nag, nag, nag, day after day until he just can't stand it anymore. Just as he's about to hit the water, he smiles and says "I'm better off."
                      "THE" plus "IRS" makes "THEIRS". Coincidence? I think not.

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by JohnT
                        And while we're bashing Spielberg: who here is old enough to have seen the original Close Encounters, before Spielberg himself recut it and actually made it worse? In the original, Dreyfuss goes into the ship, but we stay outside; the wonder of the ship remains a thing of the imagination. But our boy Steve never, ever, leaves to the imagination anything he can show in all its banality (scored to "When You Wish Upon a Star," just in case anyone missed the point). Blech.


                        Iirc, that's not how Julia Phillips recounts the story. She claims that the extra footage was shot but wasn't inserted because Spielberg had final cut on this picture... but not on any re-releases.

                        Therefore the original was shown as Spielberg wanted it at that time.

                        However the re-release (I think it was in '79 or '80) was not under Spielbergs control and the extra footage was added in.
                        My memory, though, is that the re-issue was aggressively promoted as Spielberg's version as well; that could have just been studio hype, or I could be mis-remembering, but that was my sense.
                        "I have as much authority as the pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." — George Carlin

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                        • #42
                          Neverending Story: I'd remove the end, the ending, the possibility of ending. I would make it a neverending story. Lying to children is baaaad. To call a film a neverending story and them make it only 2 measly hours long. I know children have no attention span, but that's taking the piss.

                          So no more ending for Neverending Story. That'll teach them for lying. They can play their characters for the rest of eternity! MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!
                          Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
                          "I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis

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                          • #43
                            "Pretty in Pink"- Molly Ringwald changes her mind, kicks that limp streak of piss in the balls and rides Ducky like a demented jockey on speed.
                            The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

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                            • #44
                              My memory, though, is that the re-issue was aggressively promoted as Spielberg's version as well; that could have just been studio hype, or I could be mis-remembering, but that was my sense.


                              Note that the Special Edition was called "special edition" and not "directors cut", which even then was a big deal.

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Immortal Wombat
                                Neverending Story: I'd remove the end, the ending, the possibility of ending. I would make it a neverending story. Lying to children is baaaad. To call a film a neverending story and them make it only 2 measly hours long. I know children have no attention span, but that's taking the piss.

                                So no more ending for Neverending Story. That'll teach them for lying. They can play their characters for the rest of eternity! MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!

                                LOL!

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