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Mr Creosote's Suit

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  • Mr Creosote's Suit

    'I'm stuffed...'
    Thats how Mr Creosote finishes his banquet for 100 (on his own). And he looked it. I feel like it. Have you ever eaten so much you can't move, you sit there, beached like a fat sea creature stuck on the sand, incapable of moving. This is when it dawns on you - you've turned into a fat bastard. You manage to put this out of you mind somehow, after all, you have just eaten, and you don't really seem so fat - not in your big ol' baggy shirt.

    But later on, you perchance to look down when your sitting in the bath, no sign of Mr winky, just 3 spare tires hanging over, your inflated gussted flopping inbetween your legs and obscuring your deflated manhood.

    You still don't beleive it though. Best try out your suit. You can even get the leg in anymore, which is a travesty since you only bought the damn thing last week. It was fine then. Slipped on easliy, even with space to spare. But now, look at you, it can't even get as high as your thigh, let alone pullung to button towards its whole. No, this is a dead loss.

    You vow to go on a deit, and actually start. You look at all the other handsome, slim young men. You are still thinking about them a couple of hours later - whilst ramming another lamb chop down your throat. What can you do? A man should enjoy his food after all, shouldn't he. And isn't the site of a well fed guy very appealing?

    In the end, you buy a new suit - with room to spare - go back to the resturant, and say to the charming freench waiter: I'll 'ave the lot.
    eimi men anthropos pollon logon, mikras de sophias

  • #2
    Yea, it happened to me all the time when I was younger and always smokin some weed. I used to pig out and not even be able to walk up the stairs. The thing is that when you are high, even though you are not hungry anymore, you still wanna eat! That's the problem....

    Spec.
    -Never argue with an idiot; He will bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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    • #3
      happens to me some times, when I eat at the dept. of chem engineering in uni. their canteen is crazy! I can't move afterwards!
      urgh.NSFW

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      • #4
        Abusing Pizza Hut's all you can eat deal springs to mind. Eighteen slices was perhaps a bit excessive, especially seeing as how greasy they are.

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        • #5
          I stuff my face like bastard at work, but Im still slim because gardening really burns off the calories. I shudder to think how Im going to get my appetite under control when I move into a less physically taxing job.
          Safer worlds through superior firepower

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          • #6
            Question: Do you find it has affected your sex life?

            Reply: What sex life?
            eimi men anthropos pollon logon, mikras de sophias

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            • #7
              It's only wafer-thin.
              "My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
              "The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund Freud

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Guynemer
                It's only wafer-thin.
                Thats why I can't help myself
                eimi men anthropos pollon logon, mikras de sophias

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                • #9
                  "Not even one waffeur thin mint Mr Andy Man?"
                  Speaking of Erith:

                  "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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                  • #10
                    And don't skimp on the pate!
                    He's got the Midas touch.
                    But he touched it too much!
                    Hey Goldmember, Hey Goldmember!

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                    • #11
                      My weight seems to have stabilised nowadays, although I could do to be a bit thinner than I am.

                      And Andy, I'm sure you'll be fine...haven't you heard that skintight suits are coming into fashion? ( )
                      Speaking of Erith:

                      "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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                      • #12
                        Well I would stuff myself at work since its free, but there's only so much rice and kimchi a man can eat
                        Stop Quoting Ben

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                        • #13
                          I think it is time you scientifically tested that limit Boshko
                          Speaking of Erith:

                          "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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