I'm going to be a dad.

[MikeH]

Yeah, but see what he said about her wanting a dream wedding.

[Dinner]

You simply wait a few years until he's out of school and then they have their dream wedding cerimony. She can't complain about that really.

I guess I'm just old fashioned but I wouldn't want my child to be born a bastard. Especially since the problem could be solved for $25. That's just a personal hang up though.

[MattHiggs]

Depends on your views of marriage.

[SpencerH]

Originally posted by MattHiggs
The main reason I didn't want to keep it at first is I was scared whether I'd be a good enough father as I don't have a lot of money, nor does she.

Thanks for everyone's support

No one knows how they'll do as a father. The fact that such a question has crossed your mind is a good sign IMO. In my experience, self-doubts about our capabilities with children (if one has them) never ends.

I'm sure you know this, but money never made anyone a good father.

[Flubber]

Parenting advice



1. Number 1 paramount rule -- get good information from sources you trust and then do what YOU think is best for your child. There is conflicting views on a whole bunch of stuff. We often knew that our parents were tut tutting some things we did but frankly we were the boss and laid down the law .. Grandparents in particular may tend to take over, instincively , particularly since I assume you are fairly young

2. get sleep now-- you may not get it later

3. Accept and understand that this will be harder on her than you and that the baby will likely be her entire focus for a while. You will rank very far far behind. If you can accept this you have the makings of a good father/husband.

4. Experiment with things that soothe your baby. I found that the noise from my electric razor is like sleeping gas for my little guy. Who knows what your baby may prefer??

5. I recommend taking some form of pre-natal AND post natal classes. We took a 10 week course ( 2 hours once a week with due dates in the middle). The information we heard was good (but see rule 1) BUT the big thing was the friendships we gained with other couples. My wife is off work for a year ( Canada gives one year parental leave) and the support and friendships are HUGE in making her happier. Their were 6 families in our class and the mom's get together almost every week while we get everyone together about once a month for a BBQ.

6. Having and caring for a baby is hard work. Get as much help as you can, but always ensure that you , as the parents, are the ones making the decisions.

[FrustratedPoet]

Originally posted by Oerdin
I guess I'm just old fashioned but I wouldn't want my child to be born a bastard.

Yeah that is a bit old-fashioned. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course...

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

It's no guarantee, anyway. My parents married 4 years before I was born, but I still turned out to be a bastard.

[Whaleboy]

Apolytoner gets some... We think this is only the third time this has ever happened!

Marriage for financial gain.. for the man??? Whats WRONG with you people???

[Alexander's Horse]

Hands up those who thinks Higgs is going to have to grow up real fast

Good luck with it all Matt

[JohnT]

Re: I'm going to be a dad.

Originally posted by MattHiggs

The baby is due on April 7th and I'm so excited. Just thought I'd share the news with any old friends that still post on this site.

(any parenting advice is welcome )

Congratulations! A baby is a joyous, wonderful thing - being a father has truly been the most fulfilling thing in my life.

(I haven't read the rest of the thread, so the following might be irrelevant...)

Advice? Are you planning on marrying the lady who is bearing your child? I honestly think that fully accepting your responsibilities and the changes in your life that are forthcoming will serve you far better in the long run than any actions that serve to delay the inevitable (eg, seeing a counselor).

I'd say f*ck it and go whole hog. Marry the girl. Live together (with or without parents). Continue schooling while working somplace to help support your new wife and kid, while taking all the damned subsidies and hand outs you can get from God and Man that you can.

It'll be hard as hell, both physically, mentally, and emotionally, but in a few years it will begin to pay off as you get your career in order, and then you'll realize, somehow someway, that in the past couple of years you somehow became a man.

And then the more you do the easier it will get.

[JohnT]

In regards to kids...

Flubber gave good advice. Best thing to do is go in with a good attitude, shut the hell up regardless of how mad or tired you are, and realize that the first three-six months are the worst you will experience: a sort of boot camp for parents - especially if she has an episiotemy and has to do those goddamned Sitz (Sitsz?) baths.

"You won't understand until your older/a parent." The most hated of phrases to anybody of any age, you actually see what the hell it means on the other side of the parenting fence: what you don't understand is the love, the promise of an unlimited future that your child represents. You will begin to reappraise yourself, your childhood, and your parents in a totally different manner - just wait until the day you understand that your cute little toddler is, down in his/her heart, just an ungrateful little **** with no concern but of their own - and, thinking about how you were pre-parenthood, realizing with a dawning horror that they are going to be that way for the next 20-odd years.

Welcome to the big-leagues.

[orange]

Congrats Dad Good luck!

[DarthVeda]

I'm glad you've decided to keep the child and I hope you will be a great father and role model for the child.