The Limerick Thread

[Asmodean]

So, let's post some Limericks in this thread.

As you all know, Limericks can get rather...erm...descriptive. So let's keep ourselves to the sweet ones, without foul language, eh?

I'll start out:

There once was a man from Australia
Who painted his ass like a dahlia!
The color was fine,
Likewise the design;
The aroma, eh - that was a failure!

Observing the bulge in his khakis,
Sister Phyllis was heard to remark "He's
A big lad! I hope
He won't mind a quick grope..."
But she found that the bulge was his car keys!

Said a fellow named Ira S. Green,
"My sex life is terribly lean...
I'm a chaste little lamb,
Save for old Uncle Sam,
Who screws me each April 15!"

Anyone else??

Asmodean

[Cruddy]

Sorry. I don't know any that are that clean.

[Asmodean]

This one is quite bold...I hope the mods don't find it goes too far

It made me fall off my chair, laughing

An Indian girl in Belize
Made a dildo of corncobs and cheese.
She used it quite boldly
Until it grew moldy
And gave her six strange STDs!

Asmodean

[duke o' york]

There was a young moderator called Ming
Who deleted all posts found offending.
He came onto this thread,
And closed it down dead,
With prejudice extreme and resounding.

Poetic licence taken here I'm afraid, but only with the "young" bit.

[Verres]

Best so far.

[Asmodean]

Yeah, well....

I know this thread is walking the thin line, but I hope it'll live if we keep them clean of foul language. What people do with their own imagination, is another thing

This one made me laugh too:

A tipsy young vampire named Mabel
Has a menstrual cycle so stable,
That one week in four
She gets down on the floor,
And drinks herself under the table...

Asmodean

[MrFun]

Originally posted by duke o' york
There was a young moderator called Ming
Who deleted all posts found offending.
He came onto this thread,
And closed it down dead,
With prejudice extreme and resounding.

Poetic licence taken here I'm afraid, but only with the "young" bit.

[Jaguar]

Originally posted by Asmodean
Yeah, well....

I know this thread is walking the thin line, but I hope it'll live if we keep them clean of foul language. What people do with their own imagination, is another thing

The limerick packs laughs astronomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical

[St Leo]

I once read the following one in class:

**** ****ing **** ****ing **** ****
**** ****ing **** ****ing **** ****
**** ****ing **** ****
**** ****ing **** ****
**** ****ing **** ****ing **** ****

My teacher was a bit upset, but got over it. With the help of some alcohol.

[Tuberski]

I read that same one once!

ACK!