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Style 101 (for every apolytoner)

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  • #1

    Style 101 (for every apolytoner)

    now that i'm in college, for the first time i am seeing a large number of white people, especially those who aren't businessmen in downtown or urbanites... one thing is very notable and that is the dirty appearance of many white people.

    why people would go around with long, bushy, unkempt hair, tight or straight-legged jeans, broken sneakers, weird t-shirts, etc. i have no idea yet student after student goes around rocking these things and i got a feeling that nearly every single person on apolyton wears the same ****.

    first of all... hair...

    say no to crazy hair... do NOT bleach it! you look like an idiot with some unhuman colour of hair... and you got the hair of a stereotypical puerto rican woman with the half dark, half bleached hair...

    do NOT spike it! please... thats just stupid and it makes your hair greasy as i dont know what.

    Cut your hair... long hair looks stupid and requires too much maintenance. square off or fade your side-burns (please do NOT wear side-burns! they went out in the 70's!)

    keep your hair clean/combed/brushed... if you must wear your hair somewhat long, please do not leave it like a bushy mass a la the young white men always shown on tv with their crazy hair... buy a comb, a brush, a pick, anything! but don't grease it!

    clothes...

    if your shirt got a logo or name on it that aint the name of some clothing designer or clothing company, don't wear it! people go around with literal advertisements for some mechanic's business and some other crazy bull**** like that. those weird t-shirts with some clever thing on them are NOVELTIES! no one expects you to wear them walking down the street (and the clever thing gets old after seeing it once so imagine you wearing it every week)

    shirts shouldn't be tight, especially if you aint diesal. some guys can get away with tighter shirts (though it still seems pretty odd) but in generally, do not wear tight shirts. Sleeves should almost reach your elbows and your shirt should be able to at least cover your crotch. and please do NOT tuck your shirt in unless you absolutely have to!

    pants should be relatively baggy. don't wear some crazy huge things cause thats just as weird as tight jeans but leave some extra space in your pants. Your pants should also cover your socks.

    hats...

    do NOT wear one-size fits all caps, especially not the ones with the plastic fitting thing in the back! get fitted hats and get them a head-size too big for you. how some people manage to fit their bushy hair and their whole head in the tight hats they wear i have no idea but they end up looking like they're wearing a kuffie with a visor. (by the way, do NOT wear visors hats!)

    also, do not curve the visor on your cap! leave it flat!

    facial hair...

    trust me on this, yall... that thin 'rat-stache' as some of yall here called it is all you ever see non-muslim young men wear in philly. in a few years, the thin moustache/beard will be popular nationally. might as well start wearing it while it's still 'underground'... please have some facial hair... soft, pale white skin don't look right... grow something up on that. facial hair is what makes men men so don't you want to look like a man? but trust me... i dont think i know more than a handful of men who don't have the thin moustache/beard.

    and trust me... do all that and you'll have no problem getting girls... yall seen my pics and i think yall can agree i aint especially good looking but i often get random girls flirting with me and all that. ever had a cute female cashier at a burger king ask you if you want the combo meal but stumbles and says condem? happened to me three days ago... thats the power of my style

    (see, i'm not gay even if i'm giving fashion tips... it's all for the women)
    "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
    "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi
    Tags: None
  • #2
    i agree with the grooming, but think you aren't very well versed in fashion
    shirts shouldn't be tight, especially if you aint diesal. some guys can get away with tighter shirts (though it still seems pretty odd) but in generally, do not wear tight shirts. Sleeves should almost reach your elbows and your shirt should be able to at least cover your crotch. and please do NOT tuck your shirt in unless you absolutely have to!

    pants should be relatively baggy. don't wear some crazy huge things cause thats just as weird as tight jeans but leave some extra space in your pants. Your pants should also cover your socks.
    Shirts fit if the seam is at the corner of yor shoulder. as for the pants, i like low rise pants that fit fairly tight. they are the only thing that make me look like i have an ass. fight it all you want, eventually you'll conform
    "Mal nommer les choses, c'est accroître le malheur du monde" - Camus (thanks Davout)

    "I thought you must be dead ..." he said simply. "So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. A kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic."

    Comment

    • #3
      Style 101, by Mrmitchell:

      Cover that up--we don't want to see that!

      That is all.
      meet the new boss, same as the old boss

      Comment

      • #4
        I had no idea it was so difficult to dress up for college.
        Blah

        Comment

        • #5
          Kaak:

          if you got no ass (should guys really even have an ass?), shouldnt you want to de-emphasize your lack of ass by wearing baggy pants? or maybe even wearing your shirt just long enough to cover your behind?


          mrmitchell:

          Cover that up--we don't want to see that!

          That is all.
          thats part of the problem... you should care very much what you're covering yourself with as that is what everybody sees of you everday... like it or not, people judge you by your appearance and act accordingly.
          "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
          "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

          Comment

          • #6
            if your shirt got a logo or name on it that aint the name of some clothing designer or clothing company, don't wear it! people go around with literal advertisements for some mechanic's business and some other crazy bull**** like that. those weird t-shirts with some clever thing on them are NOVELTIES! no one expects you to wear them walking down the street (and the clever thing gets old after seeing it once so imagine you wearing it every week)
            I'd say exactly the opposite. I absolutely hate Abercrombie and Fitch stenciled on every damn shirt I see. Oh, and I'll keep my University T-shirts thankyou very much.

            and trust me... do all that and you'll have no problem getting girls... yall seen my pics and i think yall can agree i aint especially good looking but i often get random girls flirting with me and all that. ever had a cute female cashier at a burger king ask you if you want the combo meal but stumbles and says condem? happened to me three days ago... thats the power of my style
            was she an immigrant fresh off the boat who couldn't speak english? Burger King hires enough of those...

            Comment

            • #7
              nah, my jeans are either Armani exchange, or 7s and apparently they work well. i've had nothing but compliments from the ladies
              "Mal nommer les choses, c'est accroître le malheur du monde" - Camus (thanks Davout)

              "I thought you must be dead ..." he said simply. "So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. A kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic."

              Comment

              • #8
                H Tower:

                Ambercombie? thats just gay. didnt they put naked men in their catalogues? anyone who wears one of those shirts is making a fool out of himself.

                no she spoke perfect english otherwise. after recovering from her embarrassment, she offered me in very clear english extra food. snuck in an extra fries and offered a cup (i only ordered the sandwich by itself)
                "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
                "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

                Comment

                • #9
                  Kaak:

                  aint you a model though? you'll get that **** probably just wearing alright clothes... youve seen the pictures of apolytoners... there's a dozen or so normal looking people and the rest are plain nerds. if they fix themselves up they could be getting the same attention from the ladies that you or i be getting.
                  "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
                  "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    that's why i agree with you about the grooming. it's all about the nice clean cut look... i'm not a big fan of the gay lil t-shirts, or the trucker hats either, and i definately don't like cargo anything. i like to wear clothes that look like they were made for me, not for someone 50lbs heavier than me...
                    "Mal nommer les choses, c'est accroître le malheur du monde" - Camus (thanks Davout)

                    "I thought you must be dead ..." he said simply. "So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. A kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic."

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest apolytoner of them all???

                      Typically, in real life, I don't sneer and my chin looks better. And I've also taken to shaving more often and more thoroughly. But this is basically what I look like.
                      Attached Files
                      "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
                      Drake Tungsten
                      "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
                      Albert Speer

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        you've been gaining a lot of weight, mono... i noticed that. you're getting a double chin that your older pictures lacked...

                        and untuck the shirt young man
                        "Flutie was better than Kelly, Elway, Esiason and Cunningham." - Ben Kenobi
                        "I have nothing against Wilson, but he's nowhere near the same calibre of QB as Flutie. Flutie threw for 5k+ yards in the CFL." -Ben Kenobi

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          if your shirt got a logo or name on it that aint the name of some clothing designer or clothing company, don't wear it!
                          Wrong.
                          "I'm moving to the Left" - Lancer

                          "I imagine the neighbors on your right are estatic." - Slowwhand

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            I hardly call that ALOT of weight. Over the summer I went from a 38 to a 36, after all. Like I said, the angle makes it look worse than it is.

                            I squinted my eyes, I looked once, twice, still failed to see how I am by any stretch of the imagination chubby, except for that chin thing. God how I hate that area of my body.

                            Oh, and one last thing - different styles work for different people. You can't just put down a list of rules and have everyone follow it. Then there would be no variety, and variety is the spice of life. You have people who tuck and those who don't tuck - the key is to doing it well, whether you're from column a or column b.
                            "mono has crazy flow and can rhyme words that shouldn't, like Eminem"
                            Drake Tungsten
                            "get contacts, get a haircut, get better clothes, and lose some weight"
                            Albert Speer

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Style 101 (for every apolytoner)

                              Originally posted by Albert Speer
                              now that i'm in college, for the first time i am seeing a large number of white people, especially those who aren't businessmen in downtown or urbanites... one thing is very notable and that is the dirty appearance of many white people.

                              why people would go around with long, bushy, unkempt hair, tight or straight-legged jeans, broken sneakers, weird t-shirts, etc. i have no idea yet student after student goes around rocking these things and i got a feeling that nearly every single person on apolyton wears the same ****.

                              first of all... hair...

                              say no to crazy hair... do NOT bleach it! you look like an idiot with some unhuman colour of hair... and you got the hair of a stereotypical puerto rican woman with the half dark, half bleached hair...

                              do NOT spike it! please... thats just stupid and it makes your hair greasy as i dont know what.

                              Cut your hair... long hair looks stupid and requires too much maintenance. square off or fade your side-burns (please do NOT wear side-burns! they went out in the 70's!)

                              keep your hair clean/combed/brushed... if you must wear your hair somewhat long, please do not leave it like a bushy mass a la the young white men always shown on tv with their crazy hair... buy a comb, a brush, a pick, anything! but don't grease it!

                              clothes...

                              if your shirt got a logo or name on it that aint the name of some clothing designer or clothing company, don't wear it! people go around with literal advertisements for some mechanic's business and some other crazy bull**** like that. those weird t-shirts with some clever thing on them are NOVELTIES! no one expects you to wear them walking down the street (and the clever thing gets old after seeing it once so imagine you wearing it every week)

                              shirts shouldn't be tight, especially if you aint diesal. some guys can get away with tighter shirts (though it still seems pretty odd) but in generally, do not wear tight shirts. Sleeves should almost reach your elbows and your shirt should be able to at least cover your crotch. and please do NOT tuck your shirt in unless you absolutely have to!

                              pants should be relatively baggy. don't wear some crazy huge things cause thats just as weird as tight jeans but leave some extra space in your pants. Your pants should also cover your socks.

                              hats...

                              do NOT wear one-size fits all caps, especially not the ones with the plastic fitting thing in the back! get fitted hats and get them a head-size too big for you. how some people manage to fit their bushy hair and their whole head in the tight hats they wear i have no idea but they end up looking like they're wearing a kuffie with a visor. (by the way, do NOT wear visors hats!)

                              also, do not curve the visor on your cap! leave it flat!

                              facial hair...

                              trust me on this, yall... that thin 'rat-stache' as some of yall here called it is all you ever see non-muslim young men wear in philly. in a few years, the thin moustache/beard will be popular nationally. might as well start wearing it while it's still 'underground'... please have some facial hair... soft, pale white skin don't look right... grow something up on that. facial hair is what makes men men so don't you want to look like a man? but trust me... i dont think i know more than a handful of men who don't have the thin moustache/beard.

                              and trust me... do all that and you'll have no problem getting girls... yall seen my pics and i think yall can agree i aint especially good looking but i often get random girls flirting with me and all that. ever had a cute female cashier at a burger king ask you if you want the combo meal but stumbles and says condem? happened to me three days ago... thats the power of my style

                              (see, i'm not gay even if i'm giving fashion tips... it's all for the women)
                              Cracker, please!

                              Show up at this campus looking like that and someone will be asking if you're here to deliver the pizza...
                              If you look around and think everyone else is an *******, you're the *******.

                              Comment

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