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"My fellow Americans...
...well, I'm really talking to all them foreign leaders, but I can't actually say that without looking a total ****. So...
...my fellow Americans, two years ago the evildoers attacked our country and people forgot that I'd stolen the election and got really scared and mad as hell at them rag heads. Since then, almighty God has aided us in striking at Satan's presence on this earth.
But things haven't gone as planned; the economy is in the ****; the Taliban are striking back; the Iraqi people are so pissed that they keep shooting at our troops and the occupation is costing a small fortune; and worst of all, my poll ratings are slipping.
So how's about all you countries that didn't back our war stepping up with your wallets and paying for the damn thing. And while you're at it send your boys to be shot, mined and bombed instead of ours. But don't expect any reconstruction contracts and your troops have to do what we say. We also retain full political control so what we're really asking you is to lay down millions of dollars and risk the lives of your citizens for absolutely nothing.
Iraq is now the front line in the war on terror. It wasn't six months ago but it is now since every angry Arab in existence has decided to move there to shoot at us. But who cares about that, they're terrorists and you have to kill them for us.
Even though you were completely right about the war and the lack of evidence for it and about the mess that would happen afterwards amd warned us not to do it, you still should have to pay the cost and relieve our troops because American voters don't give a **** if Canadians or Germans or Swedes die and I might get voted out if more Americans keep dying or if the cost of the war sends the US economy into a tailspin.
What do ya say guys? Ya can't get any fairer than that. You help me and I'll screw you."
...well, I'm really talking to all them foreign leaders, but I can't actually say that without looking a total ****. So...
...my fellow Americans, two years ago the evildoers attacked our country and people forgot that I'd stolen the election and got really scared and mad as hell at them rag heads. Since then, almighty God has aided us in striking at Satan's presence on this earth.
But things haven't gone as planned; the economy is in the ****; the Taliban are striking back; the Iraqi people are so pissed that they keep shooting at our troops and the occupation is costing a small fortune; and worst of all, my poll ratings are slipping.
So how's about all you countries that didn't back our war stepping up with your wallets and paying for the damn thing. And while you're at it send your boys to be shot, mined and bombed instead of ours. But don't expect any reconstruction contracts and your troops have to do what we say. We also retain full political control so what we're really asking you is to lay down millions of dollars and risk the lives of your citizens for absolutely nothing.
Iraq is now the front line in the war on terror. It wasn't six months ago but it is now since every angry Arab in existence has decided to move there to shoot at us. But who cares about that, they're terrorists and you have to kill them for us.
Even though you were completely right about the war and the lack of evidence for it and about the mess that would happen afterwards amd warned us not to do it, you still should have to pay the cost and relieve our troops because American voters don't give a **** if Canadians or Germans or Swedes die and I might get voted out if more Americans keep dying or if the cost of the war sends the US economy into a tailspin.
What do ya say guys? Ya can't get any fairer than that. You help me and I'll screw you."
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