Salsa makes me happy!

[Sava]

well people who suffer from depression don't share your optimistic attitude... (i.e. me) every morning I wake up and say, "damnit, I didn't die in my sleep"...

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Sava
(i.e. me) every morning I wake up and say, "damnit, I didn't die in my sleep"...

Wow -- if you feel that badly, I hope you're trying to minimize the severity of your depression.

At least you're not in denial about it.

[Sava]

Originally posted by MrFun


Wow -- if you feel that badly, I hope you're trying to minimize the severity of your depression.

At least you're not in denial about it.

nah, full blown acceptance... in all seriousness, I'll probably only be alive until my parents and my grandfather die... the sadness of what my suicide would mean is the only thing keeping my going... and it's not much.

I have fun on 'poly though.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Sava
nah, full blown acceptance... in all seriousness, I'll probably only be alive until my parents and my grandfather die... the sadness of what my suicide would mean is the only thing keeping my going... and it's not much.

I have fun on 'poly though.

Don't get yourself in a situation where it would be easy to kill yourself -- try to remember your friends and family who would be devastated from your death.

[Sava]

Don't get yourself in a situation where it would be easy to kill yourself -- try to remember your friends and family who would be devastated from your death.

I've overdosed twice since 1998... the last time was in early '99... the thoughts plague me on a daily basis, but as long as they (parents, grandfather) are alive, it's not a problem.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Sava
I've overdosed twice since 1998... the last time was in early '99... the thoughts plague me on a daily basis, but as long as they (parents, grandfather) are alive, it's not a problem.

damn

But the good news is that you're still alive.

[Sava]

But the good news is that you're still alive.

not really... my continued existence is pointless and near torturous... bugging conservatives is one of the few things I have left.

[Pekka]

What you need is salsa, and booze and a day off from everything.

[MrFun]

Originally posted by Sava
. . . and bugging conservatives is one of the few things I have left.

Can I help?

[Sava]

Originally posted by Pekka
What you need is salsa, and booze and a day off from everything.

I haven't been in school since early June... I haven't worked more than a few days since January... there's little job opprotunity, I can't find anything worth studying in school... no GF for a while now... only 1 real friend left and he's got a control-freak psychopathic GF who I don't like... sigh... every time I open a paper or watch the news its more ****ty news... other than running errands with my parents or visiting relatives, I rarely leave the house, and when I do, there are usually stupid ass people driving or doing something else that pisses me off... sigh...

I'll settle for porn, weed, and winning the lotto...

Can I help?

Yes, your contributions always are appreciated.

[Pekka]

Well, I'm no expert but it sounds to me like you have nothing worth of doing right now. You need something to do, to keep you occupied at least a little. To take a new interest to something.. longer you stay indoors, deeper you go and harder to get out..
have you seen a therapist? Maybe they could help you, so you'd get some new ideas what to do.. help you to figure out what you want to do, which I assume is more than just sit indoors and smoke pot. You just don't know what you want.. right? But there's something you must like.. you're not just thinking about it, or know about it, and that's what you got to drive for, and you know by doing it you're likely to meet new friends..

You know, get the '**** the world' attitude, expand to new horisons.. that's what you need to do if you asked me. But you could see a therapist and you know they'd help you out so you can start doing something.

[Sava]

Originally posted by Pekka
Well, I'm no expert but it sounds to me like you have nothing worth of doing right now. You need something to do, to keep you occupied at least a little. To take a new interest to something.. longer you stay indoors, deeper you go and harder to get out..

there's nothing I want to do though... the world pisses me off, but I can't change it... and the fact is, there isn't opprotunity in America right now. There are millions of people in my country that work a hell of a lot harder than me who are stuck in poverty while corporations turn in massive profits. This isn't a new thing, since the 50's and 60's, the concentration of wealth has been heading upwards. I don't know... perhaps I could become an author or something... maybe a journalist... but I'm lost, and there aren't programs in America to help people like me. I'd rather bleed to death in a bathtub than work at McDonald's until I'm 35... I'm not content with getting a job in some pissant service sector without benefits or decent pay. And schools isn't even an option. Former friends of mine who have already gotten an undergrad degree are stuck working at ****ty jobs making **** for pay. My uncle has like a PhD in gear engineering and hasn't had a steady job for 2 years. It's hopeless.

have you seen a therapist? Maybe they could help you, so you'd get some new ideas what to do.. help you to figure out what you want to do, which I assume is more than just sit indoors and smoke pot. You just don't know what you want.. right? But there's something you must like.. you're not just thinking about it, or know about it, and that's what you got to drive for, and you know by doing it you're likely to meet new friends..

sure... I've seen different therapists since I was about 12 or 13... I've been on med's since I was 17, off and on, different kinds... it's all the same ****... I don't even smoke pot that often... pot costs money and I don't have any, plus, addiction runs in my family and I don't want to go down that road. That's why I don't drink too often either. And friends?? pffft... next to maybe one or two people, you guys are the closest I got to friends... and friends require maintenance. Plus, I don't know any people who like much of the same things as myself. And I certainly don't know any people my age who are informed enough to have intelligent conversations with.

You know, get the '**** the world' attitude, expand to new horisons.. that's what you need to do if you asked me. But you could see a therapist and you know they'd help you out so you can start doing something.

I have a **** the world attitude... therapists are generally useless... I suppose if I was the victim of some traumatic event or had real problems to talk about, it would be helpful. But it's just the way I'm wired. When I talk to therapists, I can generally tell within the first few sessions if this person is going to help me or not... I need to find a SO is what I need. Someone who can **** my brains out, be my best friend, and someone who can point out Afghanistan on a map. Perhaps my standards are too high... I don't date much. I never did. My few relationships have started by sheer luck... but don't last... usually because I get tired of people...

oh man I rambled... oh well guys... g'night...

[Pekka]

So there is something you like... writing? I hope you look into that.. Give it a shot, you never know, but you have to try to know.

I know what you're talking about.. in here, you don't get crap with Bachelors Degree. Everyone goes for Masters, and then you can start having those jobs at the lowest levels without career plans or prospects.. Like this buddy of mine, after getting his MD, he has since worked in a bank, which he was lucky enough to get, taking out trash and guiding clients, and that's all he's going to do for the next 5 years at least, pay sucks and there's no jobs there that is worth waiting for.. but that's the way it goes you know.. But it doesn't mean you're destined to that.. I have decided that I will get a good job, and I know I can't promise that really, but it's up to me and if I can't get anything, then I'll create my own business and let others have their pee pee jobs.

I guess if you'd try to find out what you like, other than writing, then you know doing that thing would give you the opportunity of meeting likeminded folks, and it's likely you'll hit it off with some people.. it's worth looking into anyway, see what happens. It won't hurt to try out..
try to break from the loop you know.

Well, like I said, I'm not expert, but what I get from you is that you are very bored, depressed like you said, and some of this is because you have nothing to look forward and you don't enjoy yourself much. You have to have a plan... make a plan.. you can put that SO to that plan for starters. Then put that writing thing too. Make some easy steps to them, so you can follow the plan and it's not too difficult at first. I don't know.. but you have to at least try....

[st_swithin]

I used to have a boat called "Myott."

[Pekka]

st_swithin, even though you love me.. I'd appreciate it if you have something to say, you wouldn't be so cryptic about it, or that it had something to do with the thread..