The tapeworm miracle diet?

[Elok]

Hopefully this isn't gross enough to get me banned, especially since I'm more or less serious:
If people are willing to inject the botulinum toxin into their faces just to get rid of wrinkles, why hasn't anyone tried the tapeworm diet? Just swallow two or three eggs, and within a few weeks you could eat a whole cheesecake for breakfast and not gain weight! Since the tapeworms keep growing, most of what you eat goes to them, and the more you shovel down, the more they grow. Side effects include tarry stools and...not much else that I know of. When you want to quit the diet, it's just a matter of taking the medicine and killing the little buggers. I grant you that it would be creepy to excrete a thirty-foot parasite after your diet, and you'd be crazy to want to do it, but is it really any stranger than Botox or barely tested medications?

[Sheik]

Would this really work? It sounds like it would just make you very sick.

[MrFun]

Elok is trying to kill us, you know that, right?

[geeslaka]

it would be creepy to excrete a thirty-foot parasite

It would take a long time too.

[Ted Striker]

This actually isn't a bad idea.

I believe they would be able to extract the tapeworm also.

[:) Smiley]

hey, leeches have medicinal uses, why not tapeworms?

[Skanky Burns]

How healthy would you be at the end of it though?

[Elok]

The genius of it is, there are medicines you can take that'll kill the tapeworm in a flash, at which point it will detach from your innards and decompose like any other garbage. So far as I know the only thing a tapeworm does is suck the nutrients out of your blood or something somehow.

[Kuciwalker]

This doesn't seem any worse than any of the other diets out there...

[CerberusIV]

All you never wanted to know about tapeworms.

http://www.path.cam.ac.uk/~schisto/Tapes/Taenia.html

Do you live in Minnesota?

http://www.fergusfallsjournal.com/display/inn_opinion/Alan_Linda/news06.txt

Banish fat! Always stay thin! Eat! Eat! Eat!

That's what the ad for weight loss said. It went on: "Sanitized tape worms: Friends for a fair form."

I should add that this ad is more than 100 years old, and that women were the target of these "jar packed, easy to swallow" weight-loss wonders. The ad illustrates that obesity, or the perception of obesity, has been an enemy of humans for a long time

Then again you could get obsessive about having tapeworms!

http://www.curezone.com/forums/m.asp?f=153&i=1082

Best to laugh about it

http://www.comedycorner.org/58.html

[Whaleboy]

Tapeworms ingest the nutrients that would otherwise have been absorbed by your intenstines into the blood.

I think its a great idea!!! However, surely its cheaper to just, like, eat less?

[Kuciwalker]

elijah - but we Americans are too feeble-minded to actually eat less

I'll pass on those links, btw...

[Whaleboy]

elijah - but we Americans are too feeble-minded to actually eat less

I wouldn't be suprised if thats actually true!

[Dinner]

[qoute]
The adult tapeworms have an average length of ~ 5 meters , consisting of approximately 1000 proglottids, but may grow up to 17 metres in length occasionally, and are therefore longer than the adult forms of Taenia solium. [/quote]

17 meters?! Jesus ****ing Christ!

[chequita guevara]

You'd have to have 17 meters of intestines for that to be a problem.