Is falling in love the best way to start?

[Alexander's Horse]

Settle Ted - I made that up.

[st_swithin]

Ha ha, you must be in a human incarnation for that to work. My cats also fell in love with me from day 1, but I'm not sure I can reciprocate in full.

[Alexander's Horse]

ya its fortunate I'm a horse eh.

[st_swithin]

Or a Pylon, right?

[Alexander's Horse]

As far as I'm concerned, one woman at a time is already too many.

[st_swithin]

Heh. I was worried you were gonna say Seabiscuit, and I was gonna have to tell you to take a hike, because I ain't taking sloppy seconds from Tobey Maguire.

[SuperSneak]

Hmmm...I fell in instant, crashing, jangling love with my wife...immediately asked her to a concert and we got stinking rotten drunk the first date and made out when I dropped her off.
Then a very fitful several months followed which saw us seemingly irrevocably broken up, followed by a few months of absolutely no contact and bitter regret, followed by a note on my car, followed by the inevitable reunion, followed by cohabitation, followed by a child, followed by a year of soul searching, followed by marriage.
Marriage is ok, I guess, but too complex and simple at the same time to even possibly explain to the uninitiated...much of the jaundiced sorrow expressed ironically by men and women in marriage is painfully true, but the comfort and ease is better than can be explained.
In a fantasy world, I'd marry my best friend (which she pretty much is now) but my best friend would be Jennifer Garner.

[st_swithin]

What's your Alias?

[SuperSneak]

Captain Supertongue.

[Az]

having a crush first, and then gradually falling in love with them as individuals later.

[Q Classic]

i've only been in love once (and i'm still in love, so.)

it was a gradual thing: being friends first gave us the opportunity to learn all about each other and get used to each other before things caught fire, so...

it's lasted eight years so far...

and sprayber's right on the money. she and i are having to let each other go for now, since we'll be on opposite sides of the world for about a year. ain't a happy thing, but...

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by Azazel
having a crush first, and then gradually falling in love with them as individuals later.

[Arrian]

A few years ago I feel for this gorgeous Philipino girl that was from my hometown. I distinctly remember the first time I saw her and my comment to my best friend who was with me. I told him that girl will be the death of me, meaning that I could already tell there would be many sleepless nights because of her. I was right, because over the course of the next 3 years she was in and out of my life with varying degrees of happiness. When it finally ended I admitted to myself that I was never really in love with her. All her good qualities had been those that I have given to her and which were not really there.

That rings a bell. My "first love" was a girl I met at college, and man did I fall hard. She was beautiful (Korean, mmm), smart, nice, etc. Thing is, probably because I was sooooooo attracted to her, I kinda accentuated the positive, ya know? And, while I did win her over and spend ~2yrs with her, it ended badly (painfully). I think both of us were in love with the person we wished the other was. The reality of who we really were was just close enough to fool us both - resulting in deep feelings, a long relationship, and a very painful series of breakups & getbacktogethers before we both realized we had to throw in the towel.

My current gf was a friend I wasn't at all interested in at first. Totally different relationship (less intense, more mature). I'm pretty sure this one's gonna go the distance.

-Arrian

[Brundlefly]

Re: Is falling in love the best way to start?

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
MRT144's thread got me thinking. In all my days and through all my boyfriends, I don't think I ever really fell in love with any of them. Instead, I got to know them and spent time with them and the process was much more gradual. After a period of time, I found that I liked the guy a lot and that was that - we were dating.

I've never fallen in love, in the sense of suddenly being struck by anybody and thinking about them feverishly, etc.

You sound like my kind of girl..

[SIZE=1] I was wondering if that made my love any less deep, because it was less spontaneous. What do you think? Is it better to fall in love? Or to grow to love somebody?

As soon as I hear the words "I love you", it's time to eject from the relationship. From that point on, a girl will be too sensitive about things I do and say and too dramatic to be any fun anymore. There are plenty of girls out there that just want to keep things light and fun. I will go and find another soon after I hear "I love you".

[Imran Siddiqui]

Arrian, damn does that sound familiar . I guess we all go through that one. Then we get smarter and more mature and learn not to accentuate the positive too much .