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I have always stated my belief that cheating on a SO is wrong ALWAYS ( cheating being any intimate contact with another without the consent of your partner). But a friend challenged me on this and started throwing out "what if?" scenarios
The most difficult he raised involved situations of a wife or husband with an illness or condition that made intercourse impossible, left your partner with all their mental faculties and which would not kill them. Basically we are talking situations where staying faithful would mean 40 or 50 years of celibacy.
I have another acquainatance that is is pretty much this situation. He has had a number of brief affairs that I know of and he says his wife " must know" but that he doesn't say anything directly as he doesn't want to hurt her. He avoids longer term affairs as he does not want to get "too emotionally involved" as he loves his wife. He does spend an awful lot of time caring for her .
Thinking of his situation, I mainly admire his dedication to her. As much as I usually detest the deception involved in cheating, I can't even gather the mildest criticism of his actions. I guess, if he did not want to "cheat" he could have mentioned at some point that he would desire a sex life and seek her "consent" but that would seem such a hurtful reminder of what they had lost that I can't envision the conversation.
While its an extreme and rare situation, I ALMOST have myself convinced that "cheating" in this situation is acceptable, if not the most "best" thing to do.
What do you folks think ? Is cheating always cheating ? Or does it become acceptable in extreme situations? Would it be better to just leave them?
The most difficult he raised involved situations of a wife or husband with an illness or condition that made intercourse impossible, left your partner with all their mental faculties and which would not kill them. Basically we are talking situations where staying faithful would mean 40 or 50 years of celibacy.
I have another acquainatance that is is pretty much this situation. He has had a number of brief affairs that I know of and he says his wife " must know" but that he doesn't say anything directly as he doesn't want to hurt her. He avoids longer term affairs as he does not want to get "too emotionally involved" as he loves his wife. He does spend an awful lot of time caring for her .
Thinking of his situation, I mainly admire his dedication to her. As much as I usually detest the deception involved in cheating, I can't even gather the mildest criticism of his actions. I guess, if he did not want to "cheat" he could have mentioned at some point that he would desire a sex life and seek her "consent" but that would seem such a hurtful reminder of what they had lost that I can't envision the conversation.
While its an extreme and rare situation, I ALMOST have myself convinced that "cheating" in this situation is acceptable, if not the most "best" thing to do.
What do you folks think ? Is cheating always cheating ? Or does it become acceptable in extreme situations? Would it be better to just leave them?
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