In Islam you can divorce your wife by text message.

[st_swithin]

Is your favourite colour turquoise?

[Velociryx]

I'm more of a burgundy and hunter green person, but turquoise is quite nice....definitely on up there...

-=Vel=-

[Japher]

Ever hear of Pamprin? The only thing I will run around all night searching for, for my wife. That is truly a wonder drug...

By the way I don't own my wife, in fact it is quite the opposite...

[Velociryx]

She has you fully trained, eh Japher?

-=Vel=-

[Dom Pedro II]

Since the dawn of time, woman has owned man in spite of what the history books say...

Only in Afghanistan did we get one up on them, and look how sh*tty that turned out.

[Japher]

Sometimes it is just a lot easier to do what she says than to put up with the crying, rambling, screaming, sobbing, whinning, sniviling, beitching, earreaching so you can sleep "discussion"...

[st_swithin]

yeah, I agree. Who wants to hear that sh1t? Or as my 'husband' says,

'Maybe you just need to stop hanging out with those friends of yours and you won't act so crazy.'

Because he apparently knows my friends so much better than I do.

[Dom Pedro II]

Haha! My friend steve used to use that line with his old girlfriend!

The only difference was that she was crazy.... unfortunately, not crazy enough to be committed.

[:) Smiley]

7th century law + 21st century technology = Problem.

In fact just about any time law is behind technology you have Problems. Since it almost always is, there are always lots of Problems.

[Dr Strangelove]

Originally posted by Japher
Ever hear of Pamprin? The only thing I will run around all night searching for, for my wife. That is truly a wonder drug...

By the way I don't own my wife, in fact it is quite the opposite...

You know Pamprin is basically Aspirin, and almost any non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medication will do. During menestruation as the inner uterine lining sloughs off large amounts of chemicals called Prostaglandins are released. It is these chemicals which cause the pain, cramping and mood swings. Prostaglandins are also involved in the mediation of pain, the regulation of the protective mucous layer of the stomach, and the regulation of blood flow through the kidneys. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs like aspirin, motrin, naprosyn and etc. act by blocking one of the early steps in the synthesis of these chemicals, thus alleviating menstrual symptoms, minor pain, and also increasing the likelihood of developing gastritis, ulcers and kidney failure. The latter three generally require generous doses over a long period of time.

[Drake Tungsten]

Islam kicks ass. How do I convert?

[Velociryx]

Drake: As I understand it, all you gotta do is send the Pope an e-mail saying:

"I divorce you. I divorce you. I divorce you."



-=Vel=-

[st_swithin]

All my friends keep trying to have me institutionalised:

'No, we don't think you're crazy, we're just worried about you. Maybe you need some more medication. Maybe talking to some more doctors would help. Hey, let me help you into the ECT room and I'll get you all strapped in nice and comfy. Here, let me give you a nice little shot of lidocaine and all of this will just GO AWAY.'

FVCK ALL OF YOU. I don't need any more 'friends' trying to tell me I'm crazy. I know this.

NO HOSPITALS. NO DOCTORS. NO DRUGS.

If I'm destined to be the crazy lady of Venice, so be it. It's better to be able to count your friends on your own closed fist than on an open hand.

I'm feeling INCREDIBLY bitter today. I'm so sick of people telling me I'm sick. I do believe that's the source of my ailment.

[Velociryx]

You're not sick, darlin'....just in the wrong location....come south, my dear....everybody here is as crazy as a June Bug! Don't believe me, just spend a weekend here and watch any number of rednecks go out in a blaze of glory with the famous last words of: "Hey ya'll, watch this!"

-=Vel=-

[Dom Pedro II]

Ever seen Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil?

Those people are NUT-TY!

But if it makes you feel any better, hun, I've had my fair share of close calls...

If it weren't for my friends and my family, I probably wouldn't even be alive today.

Simply because I couldn't bring myself to hurt them that badly.