Politically Correct Ways To Say Someone Is Nuts

[SlowwHand]

A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's asleep.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
Body by Fisher Price, brains by Mattel.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Skylight leaks a little.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
In the Pinball Game of Life, his flippers are a little further apart than most.

[Cruddy]

Traditional Brit lines are "a few sandwiches short of a picnic" or "a few bricks short of a hod".

If someone is clearly a danger to others, I don't bother with political correctness. If they are a danger to themselves, I try to be sympathetic.

[st_swithin]

A few sticks short of a ****** (a ****** is a bundle of sticks, if you didn't already know)

A few fags short of lung cancer (a *** is slang for a cigarette)

A few noses shy of Michael Jackson.

A few liposuctions short of Oprah.

Nuts is a relative term. In the context of squirrels, it's something you save. In terms of testicles, most people try to cut them off anything that isn't in the same species. As an expression, a few synonyms are whacked, off like a prawn in the sun, cuckoo, cuckold, and imagination.

[SlowwHand]

'I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make storewide pages, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter."

One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system with the (I kid you not) following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys who needs assistance." '

[MichaeltheGreat]

Not quite for nuts, but one of my favorites (paraphrased from Calvin & Hobbes) is: "his train of thought is still boarding at the station"

another one: his mind's transmission is stuck in neutral.

[SlowwHand]

I figure this will cut down on the blatantly insulting remarks made here.

[Agathon]

I liked Al Capones': "His head got away from his hat."

[Gibsie]

"****ing ******" usually works for me.

[red_jon]

Mah brain dun work purfectly.

Dur-hurrrrr.

[red_jon]

Kill for me.

[DAVOUT]

If somebody tell you : I am so happy that we have a few moments for exchanging ideas!
You can politely answer : Thank you very much, but I prefer to keep mines.

[st_swithin]

'****!

[red_jon]

Originally posted by st_swithin
'****!

Bas or re?

[SlowwHand]

Redfern Jon, and st_swithin

[red_jon]

No! Not the cage again! oh, ok. But only if we get the straps.