Britain has every right to declare war on the US

[Egbert]

Originally posted by Drake Tungsten

I wish someone would come and burn down our capital, Canberra.

God tried to grant your wish earlier this year, but was thwarted.

Yeah but that burnt down peoples houses. I want someone to come and burn down Parliament House and the government ministries and the Prime Ministers house.

[Drake Tungsten]

and as for the welsh ever getting getting independence:

You can laugh now, but know that Plaid Cymru is gaining ground with every new election.

[Frozzy]

Originally posted by Drake Tungsten

and as for the welsh ever getting getting independence:

You can laugh now, but know that Plaid Cymru is gaining ground with every new election.

As is the Monster Raving Loony Party.

[bobbo008]

"Not to mention that the only cultural contributions of the Welsh to the modern world are King Arthur and a funny way of talking..."

hey, where do you think we get the name "penguin" from?

("pengwyn", meaning "white head" in Welsh, am i right?)

[Cruddy]

Originally posted by KrazyHorse
We were enroute to a successful and entertaining threadjack, MtG.

Nobody had yet answered him seriously because nobody felt the subject worthy of a serious reply, for good reason.

Anyway, for Emperor Fab the point is that the Brits have no extraterritorial claim to their citizens. Especially not when they were captured in battle against the US, and most especially not when numbers of prisoners were handed over by the Brits to the US to face the exact same treatment.

Just like to add - any Brits outside of UK borders are not subject to UK law, and must face the consequences of their actions according to local conditions. If they're caught in a war zone with a gun, well, what did they need the gun for?

Brits abroad have no excuse to behave the way they do, and to be honest I have no problem with them being locked up, tried, and if convicted, punished.

MtG, I doubt many in camp X-ray will get the death penalty - their cause will thrive off martyrs.

[Sikander]

Originally posted by KrazyHorse
Not to mention that the only cultural contributions of the Welsh to the modern world are King Arthur and a funny way of talking...

And the Welsh Longbow, which provided tons of entertainment in France for a while.

[DinoDoc]

Originally posted by C0ckney
i think that some (not very bright) posters on this thread, failed to realise that TEF is, in actual fact, an american...

Does that keep the original post from being any less stupid?

[Whaleboy]

I suppose it would be quite amusing... although we would get our arse completely and utterly ****ed.

Do we (the British) have the constitutional power to revoke the US declaration of independence?

[MikeH]

We don't have a constitution.

[Saras]

Originally posted by elijah

Do we (the British) have the constitutional power to revoke the US declaration of independence?

Some think you do .

Old, but good:

___________

NOTICE FROM THE QUEEN - REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To: The citizens of the United States of America

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

7. You should forget about miles, gallons, ounces, feet, inches and all these crappy measures you currently use. Maybe some of you noticed that normal people all over the world use metric system. You shall switch to metric system until January 1, 2001. Look up "metric system"

8. You should declare war on France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "****".

9. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

10. All US citizens should retake school and college math courses. Now the entire world knows that you cannot even sum up digits. All Florida residents should take high-school math, calculus, theory of probability and statistics, and mathematical programming. This will be an appropriate punishment for them.

11. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

________________

[MikeH]

That is good.

There is also a really funny American response but I haven't got that.

(there are also some unfunny American responses)

[Saras]

Originally posted by MikeH
That is good.

There is also a really funny American response but I haven't got that.

(there are also some unfunny American responses)

This probably counts as unfunny:

To: the subjects of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland RE: Notice of Revocation

We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum! However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world. To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:

1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the _original_ spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor.

2. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue.

3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)

4. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front.

5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule Brittania ditty, it's toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle In The Wind" again for you guys.

6. Improve at your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident.

7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted ****. Perhaps when you finally realize the French aren't the spawn of satan they'll teach you how to cook.

8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing, it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies.

9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies". Thank you for your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.

p.s. - regarding WW2: You're Welcome.

[MikeH]

Yeah, that one's like one of the bad pro-US Apolyton posters trying to be funny.

[Vandal-1]

The {remise is absurd for it implies that US/UK are two seperable entities,they are not.

[C0ckney]

drake, plaid aren't gaining ground, they have the same number of westminster seats they've always had, and they just lost a number of seats at the may assembley elections.

elijah, yes parliament could repeal the act which recognised american independence, just as it could the grants of independence to any of our former colonies, how much notice they would take of such a repeal is open to question