Create a new, evolved form of Fez: FEZLORD!

[monkspider]

Let us say that, hypothetically, once Fez reached level 17 he would evolve into Fezlord, what kind of new abilities should Fezlord have over his unevolved form?

Guidelines
-Don't say anything that will cause the thread to get closed "Like, gee whiz, I would give him a brain"
-You can't bulk him up with superpowers that would unbalance the posting environment, eg. the ability to fly anywhere at supersonic speeds to beat up any commies.

Here are a few examples
+10% typing speed
+ a new vocabuary word, labyrinthine, but -10% dexterity
+50% artistic ability
+1 extra map of Argentina
+5% improved relations with Slowwhand
+1 free DL

Create your own Fezlord!

[Imran Siddiqui]

Are you drunk?

[MichaeltheGreat]

Between potential and flame potential, I give this thread about 1 chance in 1000 of surviving the next hour.

[Nubclear]

3.....2.......1..................

[GePap]

I say
-more quoteable (Fez has created a few classic, but FEZLORD would never stop)

-more links provided with his posts

-less likelyness to p[ost pics of self,d ue to his FEZLORD evolution.

[Spiffor]

+30% mood variation speed
+10% boyfriend's cuteness
+10 words.
New avatar
- 10% resistance to account hack.

[Boris Godunov]

+1 to NOTHING! I GIVE HIM NOTHING! I'm a criminal!

[loinburger]

+10 appearances of Wiglaf

[Asher]

+100% more public nudity
+50% more hatred for nudists
+become communist

[Nubclear]

"Like, gee whiz, I would give him a brain"

[GePap]

Given fez;s behavior towards homosexuality before, you can never tell abot his political leanings.

+5% Mingcapulco visits.

[Boris Godunov]

He gets a suped up helicopter with special commie-dumping abilities.

[Drake Tungsten]

Upon evolving into Fezlord, Fez will unearth the Latin Lover hidden deep inside him, adding a 50% bonus to his attempts to seduce red_jon and/or Asher. The results of all seduction attempts are determined by the roll of a d20; a 10 or below results in a successful night of cross-cultural love, while anything above 10 results in a night alone with picture of Franco and a bottle of lotion.

[MichaeltheGreat]

And it didn't beat the odds.