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[Drogue]

As of 12:21 GMT, Drogue has been appointed as foreign advisor. Akizeta realised this statement:

Akizeta has no business in other nations. Drogue appointed as foreign advisor. Aim: Help sort out problems. Help improve happiness. Help trade. Avoid conflict.

Akizeta also hinted at a withdrawl from international politics, so that it can concentrate on internal affairs. Drogue has asked to address you, the international community, live, in person.

I would like to publically accept this position. My aim is to promote peace, stability, and happiness. I have also been authorised to inform the people that elections will be held on the 25th January. Every citizen of Akiria, over the age of 16, will be allowed to vote for the a representative. The country is split up into 8 counties, who will each elect one member of the cabinet. Then the cabinet will choose which CM (Cabinet Member) is best suited for each position. I would like to invite inspectors from the nations of Wine and Eternal Cold to inspect that democracy is served. Akizeta feels unable to accept inspectors from any country that has not shown it's impartiality.

I would also like to publicise my contempt for the actions of certain nations, in what is an internal issue. Akirian's are, by the UN measure, the most intelligent citizens. We are able to decide if we wish to rise up against Akizeta, and we have the capability to disable it. Hell, we designed it! Akizeta has made Akiria into a great place to live. Why other nations felt the need to liberate us I do not know. Moreover, I made a statement before the resolution stating that I want leaders to be judged by actions, rather than by any misplaced sense of 'legitimacy'. I would also like to state that the endorcement of Greater Finland has been removed, as Akiria cannot condone its actions, vis-a-vis the AI Amendment, and its blatant disrespect for another nations sovereignty.

A strongly worded statement from Drogue there. We would like to say that, as always, the Akirian Broadcasting Corporation is entirely impartial in all affairs, and will not be supporting any candidate above another in the coming election. We hope that this is acceptable to other nations, and if it isn't, then they can "go have a bath."

You have been watching Anthony and Matthew Smith, for ABC. Goodnight.

[red_jon]

The citizens of Redfern are happier and almost as intelligent as those in Akira, yet we have not resorted to a cybernetic system of government.

We would also like to protest Akira's co-operation with the Sovietskii Soyuz, which has been forcibly altering the minds of its citizens to form a hive mentality.

[Drogue]

RJ: Akizeta, nor any person in Akiria, has been "forcibly altering the minds" of any nation. Neo-Tassadar asked for a new schematic of our AI research program, to help in its research. Neo-Tassadar has very few similarities with AKizeta, and is not a computer. Neo-Tassadar is more of a cyborg. And yes, you have not resorted to a "cybernetic system of government", and are doing well, in terms of happiness, however Akizeta has been in power for only a short space of time, and its reforms are not finished yet. Moreover, we do not agree that a society that treats its poorest so badly is that happy. Do your people like walking over beggars in the street? Or seeing death and suffering rife throughout the poor? Akiria is happier under Akizeta, and the type of government Redfern has is irrelevant to us. We have no hive mentality. As Akizeta has repeatedly stated, all we care about is the Happiness of Akirians.

[ColdWizard]

From Eternal Cold News Network (ECN) broadcast
A press release from the Minister of Announcing Crap indicates that the delegation from Eternal Cold to Akiria to monitor their upcoming elections will be led by Minister of Justice Steve McFrost. Minister McFrost first gained prominence while he was Head of Police for the Texice Province and openly criticized the King's decision to place police cameras in public areas. Despite this criticism Minister McFrost continued to climb in the King's esteem for "being a no-bull**** type of guy", as the King said during the appointment of McFrost to ministerial status. According to the press release, Minister McFrost calls his appointment to be an inspector "a great honor" and that he'll "continue to call 'em as I see 'em."

In sports news....

[Starchild]

Dominion Approved News

Rising levels of crime on the streets of the Dominion resulted in Glorious Leader, may He be praised Eternally, issuing sweeping new police powers. Public punishments will become the norm and all citizens are encouraged to watch the floggings and torture which will be staged live and broadcast on Dominion InfoFeeds.

Glorious and Divine Leader believes that the purging of inappropriate thoughts through physical pain will purify the collective soul of the Dominion. Children are encouraged to watch especially.

Praise be to Glorious Leader, most luminious and wise one.

[Drogue]

Originally posted by Tassadar5000
Newsflash

Sovietskii inspectors have finished their happiness inspections and rate Akiria 97 percent above the "Happy Line". Most common reasons for unhappiness:

1. Foreign powers critisizing them
2. O'Malley Meat Market costs too much.
3. "Etagrats OneGS" television show not on at enough times
4. Massive Overpopulation.
5. Work times too long
6. Government regulation 02935082 interferes with lives too much.

Thank you for that report. I'm glad to see that our happiness is begining to be shown. Might I offer it as a beacon to others? We have shown you a possible path to allowing happiness to flourist. Although we do not wish to impose it upon anyone.

Thank you also for the report on how to further improve our happiness, we are tackling most of the problems as we speak. Overpopulation has never been a problem. Quite simply, we have enough country for the people. However, if we grow much more, that may become our limiting factor. Work is also in the process of being shortened. Akizeta found, when running a simulation, that people can work fewer hours, earn less money, have fewer things, but spend more time with family and friends, and be happier. Therefore we have a 4 day working week, and work hours cut to a 9-4, 6 hour day All except government officials of course

Government regulation 02935082? I think it is quite improper to bring up the mandatory size and thickness of condoms in an official transmission Our government is very strong on sex sorry, safe sex

[Markus The Mighty]

NEWSFLASH

from MPA (Markustan Press Association)
Government announces Free Marijuana Act

Markusarkand.Today, Disputed Representative Markus the Mighty announces that Markustanian government seeks to further loosen its already liberal drug laws, and has passed the new Act to Markustanian parliament.

Asked about his personal views about recreational drugs, the Representative panicked and shouted: "Please get those reptiles to putting on their golfing shoes!"

[Arnelos]

Newsflash

Finally plans were brought before the conspiracy asking if they wished to revitalize the education system, to which the conspiracy wholeheartedly agreed to do. While private funds are also being pumped into the defense industry, it is hoped that the influx of private funds into a revitalization of education will raise the chances for us conducting high-end research more effectively, such as the aquisition of nuclear weapons and the development of various other tools.

Interestingly, the influx of funding into the education program and defense industry did not cause a raise in our income tax from "virtually non-existent". Thus it is that we are apparently tied for last place in average income tax.

[ixnay]

NEWSFLASH

Following weeks of a benevolent dictator's rule, the Sultanate of Townsville has decided to hold upcoming elections. Democracy should be rekindled, and Townsville should reclaim its position as one of the economic leaders of apolyton.

[Starchild]

Dominion Approved News

The Rainforests of the Dominion are to be burnt to the ground under a new directive from Glorious Leader. The degenerate growth of decaying vegetation will be cleared away so that the materials beneath can be used to further the always rising economy of the Dominion. Citizens with registration numbers between Alpha153290 and Alpha190834 have been instructed to report to their nearest Volunteer Facility so they may begin the project.

Noting the continued expansion of the economy and living standards under the benign guidence of Glorious Leader, the people have protested against the plans of a small minority to demand free elections. The troublemaking revolutionary fascist-anarchists were unfortunately killed in mob violence before they could be reach the protection of police units. The leaders of the political faction responsible for stirring the anger of the people will be tried for treason, inciting a riot, and terrorism and upon being found guilty, their corpses will be displayed in Efficiency Square.

Praise be to Glorious Leader, most all seeing benign one.

[CapitanGarlic]

Newsflash!

Unfortunately, the economy took a nose dive after looking good for a few weeks. It is now classified as a 'Basket Case'. Suicide among economists has hit an all-time high.

[Frozzy]

NewsFlash!

Escape at the Atradaitoshi Mental Asylum and the Lion's Den at Atradaitoshi Zoo. Police are unaware if the escapes are related. Beware.

[Skanky Burns]

NewsFlash!

Drunken Macaque has been terrorised by a giant pink elephant. It was first reported around 7pm yesterday in the capital city, about an hour after one of the cities many parties had started. "Itsh pink, and itsh danshing! Hello elephant!!" slurred one local resident. "*Hic*" he added. Another resident declared that she would have to save her Macaque from the "ravages of that damn elephant", before vomitting violently in the street.

The pink elephant disappeared sometime during the night, leaving behind a legacy of empty bourbon bottles and hangovers. Thankfully, no Macaques were harmed during the giant pink elephant's visit.

[Starchild]

Dominion Approved News

Animal Liberation Activists, attempting to disrupt the collective harmony fostered by Glorious Leader, released several protein synthesising organisms from their protective cubicles. They have been sent to the Ministry of Eternal Peace and Brotherhood to be rehabilitated in the proper conduct within Dominion society.

Extending the Citizen Recognition Programme was the main focus of The Most Righteous and Farseeing One's new directive to issue all citizens of the Dominion with identificaton cards. The first phase will be the ID cards to help the Dominion understand the movement of it's citizens in their economic routines. Next phase will be the implanation of bioidentification chips with short range wireless capabilities to ensure that all citizens are under the protection of the Dominion.

Praise be to Glorious Leader, keeping us Safe and Secure from the savages of other lands.

[SlowwHand]

Did you crash the server, starchild ?