An Ode to Activision

[Slingshot]

When the corridor began to shake, Eis leapt forward and fell face down on the ground. As soon as he landed, the floor itself twisted like a rotten stick and behind him Eis heard a splintering sound. Wide-eyed, the agent grabbed a titanium knife from his belt and thrust it into the hardened wall beside him.

Suddenly their section of the corridor broke and rotated from horizontal to near-vertical. Eis swung from the floor, now hanging off his makeshift anchor. He felt a pair of hands clasp around his left ankle and then a shout.

"Pintello! Darn it, I couldn't get a hold!"

Eis let go with one hand and looked down. Locutus was hanging from his ankle, searching frantically for a sign of Pintello. Then he looked up at Eis.

"I hope you've got us, buddy! Pintello was behind me, and he fell. I can't see where he went - it's too dark!"

"Just keep hanging on," said Eis. He grabbed a second knife with his free arm and punched it into the wall a little higher than the first. Slowly, Eis climbed up the broken corridor, Locutus in tow, until he got to stable ground. With one last thrust, Eis set the knife through a level piece of flooring, returned the other to his belt and offered his free hand to Locutus.

As soon as Loc grabbed hold, Eis lobbed his buddy onto the ledge in a heap. Locutus was about to say thank you, but he only managed an 'Aaaug!'

Eis calmly climbed over the ledge and stood beside his now-recovered comrade. "You said that Pintello fell? Where?"
"He fell behind me. I didn't see him fall, but when I grabbed your ankle and looked back he was gone. I think some kind of wrecking ball hit us."

"Yeah, it was something big all right. Can you locate Pintello with the scanner?"

"Nope. I had the scanner in my hand. It got dropped in all the commotion." Locutus looked beyond the ledge, down the toppled corridor where they had climbed from. The whole thing looked like a garbage shoot that ended in blackness.

"What do you suppose is down there?" asked Eis.

"I dunno. Maybe it's part of the crater you made with that grenade of yours. You got any more of those?"

"One more, safely packed away!" said Eis with a grin.

"Be sure to use that one with a little more caution. I'm surprised the last one didn't bring the whole building down on us!"

"Me too. Do you suppose we should look for Pintello now?"

Locutus throught for a while about that. Below them were sounds of large objects being bashed about. "I don't know if we can. Whatever is down there sounds dangerous. I'm worried that if we tried to follow, we might land in a bunch of gears or maybe a crushing mill."

"Do you suppose that's what happened to Pintello?"

Locutus paused. "I'm not saying that. Gee, this is hard! Eis, we've got to keep on with the mission. If things go well we can come back and find Pintello. Jumping down there is too risky!"

Eis looked at Locutus to see if he was serious. "I can't imagine leaving a fellow agent."

"Do you want to risk completing the mission?" asked Locutus.

"Do you think Pintello is dead?" returned Eis.

Loc was feeling angry now. "Pintello is crafty. He's got a diffusion shield and he's smart. We finish the job and then we search for him. That's my decision and that's my order!"

Eis' stare went cold. "Lead on, sir."

Locutus wanted to say more. He opened his mouth to do so and then thought better of it. 'What was the point?' he thought. It was obvious that Eis disagreed. By saying more, Locutus risked having Eis doubt his ability to command. That was all there was to it.

Loc stepped forward and the pair strode down the corridor.

[Matthew Hayden]

Wow!....Wow!....I mean........WOW!!!!
This is brilliant Slingshot.
In the wizened words of Skorpion59;
"When did you say the books coming out?"

But anyway, I can't wait to read more.
"PING" Oh dammit! Gotta go.
See ya!!

[Slingshot]

They were close. They had to be! Locutus was going by memory now. He had taken two turns earlier on, and he and Eis had encountered a few Actigator patrols along the way. The first had been easy to skirt around. The second time they weren't so lucky. The pair had almost ran into three Actigators while turning a cornor. Locutus had narrowly missed a rifle blast aimed point-blank at his chest, and it was a real scramble to finish them off.

Their third encounter was a result of their skirmish with the second patrol. One of the Actigators managed to call for reinforcements before Eis broke the creature in two with a savage kick. His foot traveled with so much force that it got stuck in the opposing wall. Instead of trying to break free, Eis pulled out his gattling gun and waited for the owners of hurried footsteps to round the corner. It was the third patrol, and they lasted about three seconds before the Apolytoner's torrent of depleted uranium shells.

"Quick, let's finish this job!" shouted Loc. He peered around the corner and then ran off. Eis pulled his boot from the wall and followed suit.

[Slingshot]

Two Actigator guards walked along the sandy floor of a dark cave, their flashlights casting ominous rays through the air that was thick with suspended dust as they walked rigidly along. One light became still as it focused on a body that was strewn in a heap on the ground.

Moments later the two figures reached their target - a ragged-looking human dressed in Apolyton uniform.

"It's unconscious and wearing a diffusion shield," said one of the Actigators. "The flux dart worked," it continued. Then the guard lifted the body off the ground.

"I see another set of tracks," said the other. The first Actigator shone the flashlight on its comrade, revealing its part humanoid, part maggot-like form.

"You hunt for it. We have this one for hybridization. You can kill the other agent when you find it."

The second Actigator grinned a jagged smile that was all mouth. Without a word it slithered away towards a hole in the wall.

[This message has been edited by Slingshot (edited August 22, 2000).]

[Slingshot]

MidKnight gave a smirk, and then decided he would be the fool who asked the question. "Whoopass? Who's opening up a can of that?"

Mr. Ogre didn't laugh. "Whoopass sour jawbreakers a codename for a weapon. It's produced at an Activision subsidiary in Denmark. We own a small shipping company that delivers stuff around the world, and they have a modest manufacturing arm. We need to smuggle them into various countries and customs agents ask a lot fewer questions when you tell them it's candy your importing."

"I can imagine that. Candy sounds so much better than weapons. Does it look like a jawbreaker?"

"Oh yes. Just don't try and eat it!" exclaimed Ogre. "It's got a protective shell, but once that's penetrated, the weapon detonates."

MidKnight gave a nod. "So it's like a grenade or a land mine?"

"Mmmm. Sort of. Actually, it's a miniature black hole - like the kind you would see in space."

"A black hole! Ha! As if it were that easy to make a black hole. Especially one you could fit in your pocket."

"It's easy enough to make one if you know what you're doing. One way is to collapse a star under its own gravity. Another way is to - well that would spoil the secret now, wouldn't it!"

MidKnight threw his hands up in the air. "So one of our best agents has six black holes in his pack. I suppose this is going to suck the life out of California if it goes off!"

"It's not that bad. The technology was developed by a leading scientist - Dr. D. Hoffman. He's big into cosmology and found a way to make sort of a quantum vacuum. It'll suck maybe 10 tonnes of material into a cubic micron, turning a small fraction into X-rays."

"I doubt Eis' head weighs 10-tonnes. I hope it's not the size of a cubic micron when he gets back, either!"


[This message has been edited by Slingshot (edited August 22, 2000).]

[Slingshot]

Minutes later, Eis and Loc arrived at a closed door near the end of a broad hallway.

"This is it!" exclaimed Locutus. Beyond the door is our target, the new Actigator HQ."

Loc continued. "Eis, I need you to put a scope through the wall. Try the proximity imager first, and if there isn't too much activity you can drill the hole for the scope. I'll be behind you guarding your flank and searching for control circuitry. When we're ready we'll cut power and blow their little Popsicle stand!"

"You mean 'blow them to smithereens.'"

Locutus looked confused. "Huh?"

"Blow them to smithereens," Eis repeated. "You always use that expression."

"Well this time I'm saying that we blow their little Popsicle stand. A guy can change, can't he?"

"Not in my books." Eis's stare was cold again. He turned away and started to do his work while Locutus simply stood there. Finally, Loc pulled a pair of silver 'electron-sleuthing' sunglasses, and then backtracked some distance away.

Finally Eis finished his work. He had scanned through the doorway with a proximity sensor and found that there were three individuals next door. The room was big enough, so he chanced drilling a hole and setting up the spy scope. Work took longer than expected, as both the wall and door ended up being about 2m thick. In fact, he had failed a couple of times and ended up making some jagged, shallow holes with sharp edges around them near the centre of the door.

Looking through the instrument, the agent gave a low whistle. It was Silica and two of her goons. All faces were turned away from his door, and Eis could tell that the three were very involved in some tactical data on a monitor. Beyond them was another door that opened, and in came another individual dressed in a white lab smock, and a conversation ensued. Eis was bad a reading lips, so he couldn't tell what was being said. The conversation continued for several minutes, and Eis decided to stop looking for a while.

Feeling bored, the agent grabbed his pack and rummaged through. He found one of the cans that Switchthin had given him and felt hungry. He pulled the can out and set down his pack. The label had a cartoon with a kid's mouth all puckered in after eating something. It read:

Whoopass® Jawbreakers. So sour we had to put them in a can!

Candy wasn't what Eis had hoped for, but any form of energy would do right about now. The agent looked at the lid and found it was a screw cap. The whole can was awfully heavy for a jawbreaker, and upon opening it he found out why. The can itself had about a 2cm wall of stainless steel. The agent popped the jawbreaker in his mouth just as Loc rounded the corner, returning from his own mission.

"You got what you wanted?" Eis asked.

"Yes, I did," returned Locutus. "And I see that you finished your job." Loc walked straight past Eis and looked through a jagged hole, pressing his face against the door.. "How come you made so many drillings? Isn't one hole enough?"

"The surface is hardened, and the door is 2 m thick. I had to use a physical drill to get started before the laser drill took, and that wasn't so easy. Watch yourself, those edges are sharp!"

Just as Eis gave the warning, Locutus moved his head to get a better look and jumped back with an 'ouch!' "Darn it!" he continued, holding both hands over the cut, facing away from Eis.

"Let me see. Is it bad? I've got a bandage here."

"Stay away!" shouted Locutus. "It's not bad. I - uh - want you to go down the hall and double check my work. Here's my glasses." The agent took a hand off of his face and threw the silver sunglasses Eis' way.

'Gee, what a wimp!' thought Eis. After all they had seen, you'd think that a tiny scratch would be nothing. But then again, Loc was acting like a real jerk. His decision to leave Pintello was a surprise and it seemed like all sorts of things were going through his head that shouldn't be there. Eis figured that Locutus was thinking how bad it would be for a superior officer to bleed in front of a grunt-Apolytoner. He shook his head in disgust and walking away. What was worse was the jawbreaker. So far it had no taste, and Eis started gnawing at it in his mouth.

As he walked, Eis looked down at the sunglasses. He had used them a few times now, under the direction of some Actigrammers the day before. 'They sure like stylish tools!' he thought. It was then he noticed that one of the arms was slimy to the touch. 'Must be Loc's blood, the jerk!' Then he heard a voice in the back of his head.

'What colour is blood, Eis?'

The agent answered aloud. "Blood is red, of course! Unless you're an actigator, then its sort of green and sli-"

Eis stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around and slipped on the glasses. "Adjust to sense for silicon!" he barked. The glasses adjusted their view and the words Scanning - Si blinked on an off in front of him. Eis went to grab a weapon when he realized that he had left everything but a knife behind. He hadn't been thinking about danger at the time - only about what a jerk Loc was.

The agent's footsteps quickened now. He was anxious about what was waiting for him when he got back, and where his real buddies had gone. He slowed to a walk and rounded the last bend, expecting to see Locutus.

There was nothing.

In the corner of his eye, Eis caught a movement. Then before he could react a hand swung around and caught the agent in the head. He got slammed clear into the opposing wall, and despite the diffusion shield, the agent made a crumbly dent on its stony face.

Without taking time to get his bearing, Eis sprang up from the floor. It was a good thing, too, because the dent he made suddenly dissolved into rock chips as a second blow struck. The agent ran towards the other side of the wall and launched himself up into a flip. He heard another boom that had been meant for him. Eis landed facing Locutus who was holding a harpoon-like weapon. Loc's form glowed brightly through the Eis' silicon-sensing glasses. The agent grabbed his knife and meant to throw a deadly lob at Loc's throat when he heard a click from the harpoon, and Eis' left shoulder became pinned against the wall.


[This message has been edited by Slingshot (edited August 22, 2000).]

[Slingshot]

Double Post

[This message has been edited by Slingshot (edited August 22, 2000).]

[Nordicus]

Hey, Slingshot...

quote: Mandinka - I remember hearing a Sinead O'Connor song to that effect, but what does it mean?

Huh? To what are you refering? Vancouver Island? "Someone check the IPs while I make another appointment to see my psychiatrist"? Or the part about Pintello being thru worse sh*t?


Excellent stuff--consistently gripping, says the New York Times.
Rolling Stone exclaims: "An instant classic...a masterpiece...and just plain narly, dude."


But--
what happened to Paul and I, dang-nammit!?!

[Slingshot]

The pain was overwhelming. Eis struggled for a while, but it was useless. Locutus walked toward him and laughed.

"There are some weapons that are immune to diffusion shields - especially when the projectile is made from Beryllium," said the Locutus doppleganger. He loaded another bolt in the harpoon. "I have another projectile to kill you with right here. The only question is where to shoot you."

Eis gave a look of pure hatred. He said nothing.

The creature grinned back. "I could shoot you in the heart and you will die instantly. I could also shoot you in the stomach. That would really hurt and you would end up bleeding to death in about an hour. The choice is yours - and all you have to do is tell me something. Give me an access code to the Apolyton network."

The agent struggled some more against the long beryllium dart. It held his shoulder tight against the wall. "You win. I'll tell you," he said. "Just tell me what happened to my comrades."

"One of your comrades will be made into an Actigator hybrid. The other is dead. Now tell me the code!"

Eis waited for the creature to lean forward. He was furious about being fooled, and stared into the slime-streaked face of his betrayer. "Go play a real-time strategy game!" he snarled. Then Eis spat the jawbreaker at the creature's face.

The candy-bomb hit its mark and fell innocently to the floor. "That was a mistake," said its victim. The Actigator stooped over and picked it up in his hand. "Now you die!" It squeezed the marble in its hand until there was a loud 'pop.'

Then it happened. Suddenly, the Actigator's hand disappeared in a vacuous black cavity. The black sphere turned bright white and hung in the air. The next thing Eis saw was the Actigator's arm get half-sucked, half-stretched into the blazingly bright floating marble.

Eis watched in horror as it grew. After eating the arm, it went from the size of a marble to the size of a baseball. Air started to rush towards it with tornado-like fury. Eis pressed himself against the wall as the rest of the Actigator fought to stay standing. The creature turned, slimy green blood oozing from its open arm socket. The blood was swept up with the wind and got gobbled by the sphere, which was now the size of a basketball and as bright as a welding torch.

Finally, the Actigator lost its ground and got slurped into the fiery void. The effect was like adding gasoline to a fire, and it pushed the sphere down the hall towards the doorway Eis had been monitoring. With a rubbery crash sound the doorway, a huge chunk of floor and ceiling collapsed in a burst of radiation. The wind screamed past, and Eis's body swung on it's beryllium hinge. He shouted in pain and held frantically onto the shaft of the dart with his good hand. His feet felt like they were on fire. The sphere was collapsing most of its lunch into a 10-tonne grain of sand, but it ate like a junkyard dog, and some of the scraps were getting thrown out in a torrent of X-rays. Eis' diffusion shield red-shifted the X-rays to mostly visible light, but some of it was ultraviolet and the radiation caused his boots to catch fire.

Seconds later everything went quiet, and the agent fell back on his flaming feet. "Aaaugh! Fire!" shouted Eis. His boots were ablaze and the agent danced like the river dance guy until the flames were extintuished. His soles had begun to melt, and even his pantlegs were scorched black.

The agent stood there against the wall, exhausted. He knew there was no way to break the dart or pull it out of the wall. He looked down and saw that its shaft extended about 20cm from his chest. "The things I do for Apolyton!" he cried, and Eis pushed his shoulder along to the dart's end, until finally he was freed from its hold.

Eis fell to the floor and almost lost consciousness. With the dart free, the agent's uniform oozed an antiseptic foam that covered the wound on both sides of his shoulder, protecting it from the elements. He spent a few minutes resting while the foam hardened to a flexible, rubber-like form and the foam's painkiller set in. His left arm was useless now, but Eis was fighting mad. His pack had been sucked into the sphere and all he had on him were two combat knives.

The agent walked over to the doorway. There was a hole in the floor that exposed the level below. The same thing had happened to the ceiling. The hole itself was about 2 m in diameter, and Eis easily leapt across.

The HQ room was a mess of char. In front of the burned out monitors were blackened husks of individuals that Eis guessed were Silica and company. "So this is how it ends, " he said. Eis was never one to be overly verbose. After checking to see if anything was working, the agent jumped back over the hole in the floor and went looking for his comrades.

[Immortal Wombat]

BUMP.

Just found this, and thought it was to funny not to bump.

If you remember half the people named in the story, then you've been here to long.

Yes. Yes I have

[Martin Gühmann]

The most interesting thing about this is Ben that I found this yesterday, too as I tried to find this secret word that Peter mentioned in the AI thread that I bumbed yesterday.

-Martin