The Bunch Diplomacy

[Cort Haus]

OK, sent the message above.

[Hot Mustard]

Originally posted by Cort Haus
OK, sent the message above.

[Hot Mustard]

Originally emailed by The Diplomatic Banana
Stormian Envoy Cort Haus,

These are dark times for bananas. Alpha Centauri comes ever closer to us and we see little way to survive. We have recently learned that you know the secrets of Archery. This knowledge could help us survive or cause as much pain as possible to AC before they defeat us. Any help you give us would weaken AC and possibly make AC weaker than you. If you could us Archery the Great Banana would look knidly upon you.

Vivu la Banano!
Vivu la Storm!

The Diplomatic Banana
Vol
50

[Blake]

Oh Banananish ones, you are annoying and your attempts at communication are confusing and frustrating!

We of the Storm cheered as the Centurions declared war on your worthless excuse for a civilization! We lament only that it took them so long!

It brings us much joy, that we will never need perform diplomacy with you again!
Long live Yang! Death to Banana!

That's a no to Archery.

Proof that I shouldn't be a diplomat?

[notyoueither]

*Chuckle

On a more positive note, Nana's request is very tricky.

Do they have techs we do not have? Do they have gold they may want to keep away from AC (and do they have the tech to move gold)?

If yes to either one, we want to be sympathetic while finding a way to tell them there is no way, no how that we will risk annoying AC. Terribly sorry, but thems the breaks.

Incidently, what techs do they have that Vox does not and therefore what techs should we assume Vox will have very quickly?

[Blake]

Banana have no techs we don't, and in any case it'd be the height of bad manners to trade with them.

Vox and Banana both lack Alphabet, they can't trade techs however badly they may want to.

This also means that were we to send any tech Banana's way, AC would know it was us.

[notyoueither]

OK.

What I was getting at is that if Nana had techs we did not, it would be best to avoid pissing them off.

Teams going out have a tendency to gift it all to possible future rivals of the conqueror.

It is still preferable to avoid pissing them off, because grudges can be carried for a very long time.

A sympathetic, but 'sorry, we can't do it' tone is in order.

[Hot Mustard]

Originally emailed by The Diplomatic Banana
Stormian Envoy,
Your people are mighty and your continued friendship in these difficult times is welcome. We enthusiastically granted you the open borders agreement. We kindly ask that you consider the following proposals:

1 - A city trade - Our lovely size 2, seaside, Splitsville for a city of yours preferably away from the Herezuloj, followers of the Yang from Rigil Kentaurus. I included pictures of Splitsville.

2 - You gift us the art of Archery now; You direct our next tech to research and we gift it to you when discovered.

3 - Now that we have opened our borders, maybe your troops could stand between the advancing Yangs and our cities. The RKs seem to respect you.

Please consider these proposals as separate. Please consider offering any other trades that you'd prefer.

We apologize that these proposals were not made in game this turn; we wanted to get the game moving and know this could take some discussion. If further discussion is needed on these offers we will be watching our email for your reply. If any of these are acceptable let's do this in game ASAP - like your next turn.

Vivu La Banano
The Diplomatic Banana

[Blake]

Aspirin. Send demands for aspirin.

Well, my thoughts is. Even if we were to accept such a trade, just like banana, we would not have the military to actually stake our claim over that city. There's really nothing at all to stop AC just declaring war on us taking Splitsville then saying "It was nothing personal" and offering peace. In their position it's exactly what I'd do. Many players begrudgingly accept such punitive action when knowingly over-extending themselves.

Out of the deal, we'd basically have soured relationships with AC, and a useless Banana city taking up space. I think maybe we should go with the honest response "Sorry, but we don't have the available military assets to stake a claim on Splitsville".

It sounds like the Banana capital is soon going to migrate to Splitsville, which is the reason for the urgency.

Gifting them Archery COULD be considered. Would we have plausible deniability? I think it's a cheap enough tech that Banana wont get a "fair trade" diplomatic plus with us (always a smoking gun for tech gifts).

I WOULD be inclined to have the unit stick around and rubberneck, but then again it could more productively scout out the coasts.

[DeepO]

if there is any way AC is ever going to find out we gave banana archery, we should not do it. Considering that some of Banana's players could migrate to AC, forget it. It can only harm our relationship with them

DeepO

[Hot Mustard]

Originally emailed by The Diplomatic Banana
People of the Gathering Storm,
Team Banana offers you the gift of Common Sense. See in these graphs that Nia Kontinento is about to become a one nation continent. Can you not see the obvious? After the Herezuloj - Heretics & Haters of all that is good - the Rigil Kentaurians are done with Team Banana they are coming for you. The RKs will out produce you and dominate with no one to stop them.

It is obvious that our troops are making a run for Splitville but we have a contingent moving to the east that will hold back until Splitsville comes under seige. Then we will have the RKs trapped or at least surprised. Is there anyway we can co-ordinate our fight? Help us in this effort.

Attack the heretics now and preserve Nia Kontinento for all the Homoj De Boneco!

Zip-ee-de-do-da!
The Diplomatic Banana

There's a zip attached that I haven't looked at yet.

Edit: Here's the shots.

[Blake]

Wait, the team which didn't see the invasion of their lands coming (despite it being blindingly obvious) is offering us the gift of Common Sense?

And the zip simply contains screenshots of the graphs, showing us with a dominating lead in GNP .

If we are feeling sarcastically humorous, we could load a save from about 10 turns before AC started the war, and send screenshots of those graphs, or just the power graph.

[Randolph]

Well you can't blame them for trying though I'm not sure why they would think we don't have access to that info already.

[Hot Mustard]

Banana is dead.

AC could be riding south with their more advanced units.