Vox Diplomacy

[Cort Haus]

Well, well. They seem happy enough to have a war. After all, they could have moved their scout away if they didn't want one.

[DeepO]

Originally posted by Cort Haus
Well, well. They seem happy enough to have a war. After all, they could have moved their scout away if they didn't want one.

That's not exactly true. Suppose you're Vox, and you don't know what GS is building. All you can see is 1 warrior (spinebreaker) moving towards you, and tundra/ice below. You need to pass on the North of EotS, which only gives one tile with protection (the others end in the open). Furthermore, there is only one short cut: all other tiles will delay you further, giving more opportunity for GS to build more warriors and advance on your position. You can't see what's behind the first 2 hills, but it looks like the hill closest to GS has some free plains after it.

So, you decide to take the immediate risk and end your turn next to a warrior (which was visible for them from the start of their turn), instead of taking the long route and be sure that, in case GS wants to attack, they can spring a trap with 3-4 warriors in 2-5 turns.

I don't think it's a particularly bad gamble from Vox. What is certain is that they lost: they shouldn't have gambled in the first place.

DeepO

[notyoueither]

Vox's reply to the declaration of war, and my 'don't worry, it's a game' reply.

Stormians:

The treachery with which you have attacked our non-theatening and peaceful Scout in neutral territory is unprovoked, short sighted, deceitful, dishonorable and just plain old mean!!!

Non-threatening Peaceful Scout:
Our Scout, may his blessed soul grow fat with bananas, was peaceful and completely incabable of causing you any harm what so ever. His mission was only to explore the world for tormened souls and to ease their pain with the word of Voxism. We had been told that the Stormian people were much interested in the Voxin faith and we only wished to help those who wanted to find the faith to do so.

Neutral Territory:
The grand Stormian culture is an ancient and storied one, and we never had any intentions of entering land that was 100% filled with Stormian culture, not even with our non-military unit. We even had every intention of keeping our regular military units more than a stone's throw away (er... a one tile bumper). But the fact remains: Our Scout, which we never considered to be part of our military and was thusly not subject to the terms of our cultural border agreement, was unquestioningly in neutral territory that carried absolutely no cultural value to any known Civilization.

Unprovoked:
Since word arrived to us about your slaughter of our people, we have been trying to determine why the Stormian people would do such a thing and take such actions. We have not shown any hostile actions towards the Stormian peoples and have only professed peace and friendship since we encountered you. Please, people of Stormia, why have you attacked us unprovoked? Perhaps if we knew why you attacked, we may be able to diffuse this situation without further bloodshed once adequate reparations have been returned.

Short sighted effects:
Congratulations. Your inability to think things through at this early stage of the game has cost both our Civilizations all pretense of winning the game. Warriors are not the units to fight with; yet, because because of your short sightedness, that is percisely what we are bonking our heads with, infrastructure be damned. I hope that the Civ that wins will look kindly upon us in the history books.

Deceitful:
Perhaps it was just a breakdown in communication, but I was unaware that "request" was translated in Stormian as "do what we tell you or we will (try to) kill you!". If this is what you meant, and you truly hoped to preserve the peace, this is what you should have said. You didn't and gave no indication that your "request"ed directive must be followed our you were going to war. We Voxians hope that in the future, if you have one, you will give up your follish deceit and follow your own written words.

Dishonorable:
Using written loopholes and half-truths is a surefire way to gain an initial victory, such as you have done, but it is dishonorable and will be a black smudge upon your civilization for the few years you have left and a permanent disgrace on your souls.

Just plain old mean!!!
Why you creepy little b*tches! That scout was fun to play with! You were just SOOOOO damn jealous that you had to take our fun away! I see how you are. Just plainold mean-spirited! I should go tell my mom! Then what would you do?!?! A MOM would be involved You're screwed!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

In conclusion, I needed a way to include big words like erroneous, oxymoron, egomania, and ludocrous; but ran out of time and , well, lets face it, the effort just dissappeared right along with the attention span...

[Don starts whistling Dixie]

Oh yeah... see? Anyway, to put it simply: Me good! You bad! Die now!!

Donegeal, The Voice of Voxism to Gathering Storm.

Once again, please don't take any of this personally (we don't). There is obviously alot of RP in that response.

Great stuff!

Official reply to come later.

An appropriate reply is going to take some consideration.

[Metaliturtle]

We've seen how these "peaceful" scouts butcher even the most fearsome of beasts. How many men are able to bring down fearsome beasts unarmed? 20-40-100? Yet a scout is able to do it alone. Moving such a unit anywhere near the people of Stormia requires an aggressive action.

[Arrian]

I find their reply amusing, as I'm sure it was intended to be. The only nugget of seriousness, really, is the "congrats, you just screwed us both out of winning" bit.

I follow their logic, but of course disagree b/c we don't really intend to "bonk heads with warriors."

...

I don't actually think it *needs* a response.

-Arrian

[Cort Haus]

ZOMG teh scout woz steeling our huts!

[DeepO]

This is more a taunt to get us to show our plans than otherwise...

my response would be something like "bonk heads with warriors? Yes please!"

DeepO

[alva]

"What do you mean warriors?"
* nye looks at his army *
"I see nothing but longbows, horses and elephants here! "

[Metaliturtle]

"Warriors? Grog have tank. GS Ub3R 1337 haX0rzing pWnz j00 n00bzorzez!!!!!!1111one!11!

[Theseus]

"I swear, it was self-defense. The Scout made a move for a gun... or a knife... or a rock."

"Actually, we are planning on using Battle Cows... or nukes. Whatever."

"My mother wears combat boots."

Good stuff, and kudos to Don.

[Arrian]

Originally posted by Metaliturtle
"Warriors? Grog have tank. GS Ub3R 1337 haX0rzing pWnz j00 n00bzorzez!!!!!!1111one!11!

[notyoueither]

Originally posted by Arrian
I don't actually think it *needs* a response.

-Arrian

I think you're right.

My initial reaction was a desire to reply with something signed 'Creepy *****es' or 'Blue Meanies' or some such, but that will come with time.

[vmxa1]

Hum how about your chance at a win died when you elected to scout us after being told not to do it.

That was foolish as you provided the means to possibly prevent the spread of your religion.

Anyway it was well written.

[DeepO]

Originally posted by vmxa1
you provided the means to possibly prevent the spread of your religion.

Please not! whatever reponse (if any) is sent, let them guess at what we were discussing. Everyone agrees that the combination of the scout and no Hindu spreading were more then enough reason to go to war, but as long as Vox doesn't know that, they will fear what's yet to come.

Doubt is our most powerful weapon right now...

DeepO

[Arrian]

Right on, DeepO.

-Arrian