Manifest Destiny

[gooberboob]

I think you gotta be really desperate if you have to take your computer to bed with you

[SKILORD]

I said i didn't goob.

I will post the next chapter tonight, would be now, but i got into an accident and need a coupla hours to stabalise myseklf (I wasn't hurt, but it being my first i was terrified and shaken, My Mercades cannot say the same though, it's in the shop now getting fixed, the other car was unhurt)

[SKILORD]

Chapter 10: Capitulating

The newspapers all brandished the fact, it was a personal accomplishment for them, the men who hadn't seen a battlefeild.

The Confederacy had just signed the Peace of Antieam, surrendering unconditionally to the allied forces. Texas had won a few cities, the Union held Virginia and most of the Northern Confederacy, Civil war raged near the Carribean, North of Cuban Floridia.

Sam wished Gen. Lee the greatest of luck, his people had learned their lesson about slavery now, he had no desire for a fascist republic persecuting the once masters.

Business was declining, people had no time for luxury anymore. Where once he had been the bright boy of the New York elite he became ignored as their ranks thinned, Bankrupcy waited around the corner. And he dreaded a return to his former lifestyle of poverty.

Hernando had joined the army, and Sam couldn't find anyone half as good, maybe he would join the US army, he would be helping his homeland, most likely he would be sent against Canada, not on a trek West.

But the army wasn't for him, Sam never could take orders well, maybe he would go vigilante into Canuk soil.

He turned the corner, where he had predicted bankrupcy.

"We're here to commandeer your mattalurgic tools, we need them to build more delicate peices."

The thin man dropped to his knees, tears streamed in incredible amounts down his cheek.

"No...." he begged, his voice cracked, already he was becoming a hopeless street ruffian.

"Sorry,' the man certaintly looked sincere, but Sam couldn't care. He opened the shop for the government's theives, handed them the keys, opened the registerand unloaded all the cash, the officials stared as he progressed wordless.

"But sir.." one began as he approached the door for the final time.

Sam waved him off," Take it all, go ahead."

He wondered how long the closed sign would remain hanging on the door.

-

the streets were chaos as Sundance rode his horse over the good people of Virginia City. A Confederate Cigar drooped from his mouth, held there only by his evil grin.

His band had easily outdone itself, the looting would long support his reign once Oakley surrendered.

Oakley seemed in no mood to quit though, she sent her troops to victory and defeat with the same cold glare. She frightened even the hardenedSundance Kid, though a certain cowboy, Shaka was his name, seemed quite aroused by her coldness.

Shaka was an odd Cowboy, darker in skin than most, speaking in deep voice that he often called his 'Barry White' voice, Sundance didn't know who Barry White was, noone had ever heard of him.

Shaka was coming with him in a meeting with the Empress of the West, she had called it so he expected no surrender, but it would still help, as long as the other side didn't rise.

The gaurd patted the two down for weapons, Shaka didn't handle it well, and he wouldn't have been the Kid's first choice, but he felt an insane urge to meet the hard woman. Noone else had wanted to come.

They entered her war tent and without a word Anne Oakley rose and aimed her gun, a shot rang out and the gaurds came in to carry the body away.

"Sic semper tyrrannis," she spat at the body as it was dragged away," Even if he hadn't taken control yet."

"That's not your line baby," the Barry White voice purred, " Now come over here and lemme show you a real pistol."

Her gun was at his head.

"F*cking Pervert."

"Playing rough?" he asked hopefully before she made him regret having come. He would never speak again.

"Sic Semper Perverts..."

[SKILORD]

Originally posted by gooberboob
I think you gotta be really desperate if you have to take your computer to bed with you

It took me a few days, but i looked at this again and finally understood it.

:doh:

I'm not quite that hard off.

[unscratchedfoot]

I've heard the name Barry White before. I was told it means "dump". Less refined individuals say like, "I'm gonna take a barry white" to mean "I'm gonna send a brown friend to the coast". What is true? Is Barry White a real person or something (I live in Japan so give me a break if I sound totally out of it).

[SKILORD]

It was paying a bit of hamage to gooberboob's A -Viking- Story, it's getting thrashed in the contest right now, so i doubt it will get much moer homage.

[gooberboob]

Barry White is a singer with a deep voice who's music and personality are linked to a whole lotta SEX the reason it was so funny in my story is that shaka never got any SEX when he talked like Barry White.

A Viking Raid on Manifest Destiny WOOHAA

P.S. on the 2002 AP History Exam, Manifest Destiny was the correct answer on 95% of the questions that had it for a choice... I played the odds MWAHAHAHAHA

[ChrisiusMaximus]

On with the story SKILORD keep it cpming

[gooberboob]

(Shaka): What am I? The joke of these forums? Christ!! First Goober, then Skilord, then Goober again!!! Why do you guys keep killing me?

(Gooberboob): Because you're dumb and we have a sadistic urge to kill Barry White impersonators. Besides, you sound more like urkel.

(Shaka): You're just racist.

(Gooberboob): No I'm not, I kill people besides racecar drivers.

(Shaka): You kill based on skin color!

(Gooberboob): No, I kill for fun.

(Shaka): And you think it's fun to kill black guys!!

(Gooberboob): I kill white guys too, and white women, and Scratch.

(Shaka): Point taken, I'll continue to die in the name of comedy!

(Gooberboob): No you won't, I'm not writing a story with you in it until Yuute Hergeshlervenshvicschlocken is done.

(Shaka): Nucking Futs!!

[SKILORD]

P.S. on the 2002 AP History Exam, Manifest Destiny was the correct answer on 95% of the questions that had it for a choice... I played the odds MWAHAHAHAHA

I'll keep this in mind, unless they changed it this year.

[vovan]

Like, Chris said, we are looking forward to more goods coming our way, SKI.

[SKILORD]

Chapter 12: How the West was Lost

Deseret was a nation on it's knees. Polygamy had been outlawed in the conqured lands, leading to a great schism within the church. The free Mormons, who still followed Bringham, had been pushed away from Salt Lake City, and forced across the Rocky Mountains. Fanatics held every moutain pass, hoping to prevent the Cowboys from crushing their new homes. Protecting each and every one of their wives.

Anne Oakley surveyed the conqured lands on her map, smiling, pleased. Her cat meowed and rubbed agains her arm as it rested on the desk, she pet it tenderly as it purred, and kneaded, cutting her delicate map wih it's claws.

Another meow followed, the cat had een thrown from the palace and screamed as it landed in the trash.

Third time this week, the cat thought.The pile of man it had mistake for trash began to stir, and it picked fluffy up by her neck.

"What are you doing little girl," The beggar asked.

"What's it look like bufoon? getting out of the trash, I'm not afraid to work."

She clawed him, causing him to drop her roughly.

"I knew i should have quit the stuff..."

"And you were right, it's bad for you, it's routing your brain cells."

As the man stared dumbfounded the talking cat slinked away.

I'm not going home this time, that woman has gone too far.

But where would fluffy live now? She thought back to the map, there was an orange colored land to the East, if Fluffy just walked a little more, she would probably reach it, should only be a couple of blocks.

As she reached the outskirts of San Fransisco it dawned on Fluffy that she had a ways to go, a war to win, an oddessy to complete....

She almost turned back.

-

Pedro couldn't find International Jewlers.

He had visited every single ime his boat came into harbor, speaking long into the night with a man who had come to exceed him in every way.

Not that he was jealous of Sam, the Hudsoner had natural ability, and had been trained well. The once glowing shopfront was gone, replaced by a dull man who sold mediocre suits.

"Sorry sir, I don't know where the previous owner resides, may I interest you in a..." the nasal voice droned on and on.

Pedro considered killing the man, a quick strangle would end his pain, what would happen if he did....

As he pondered the consequences the door opened, humble and quiet, a young man crept beside Pedro, to stare mstified at the salesman.

"My term as a soldier is over, I heard you were mighty good at sales, i wondered if you could teach me."

"This moron?" Pedro snorted.

The youth was shocked, "You mock the Great Sam Watson?"

"This is no Sam Watson, this is a bumbling oaf of a half wit who has taken Sam's shop."

"I take offense at...."

"I should hope so, i have been offended by your mediocricity since i came in here," He held his arms open, guestering at the walls," The hallowed halls of the shopkeeper need not be sullied by a man of your doubtful talent."

"Who're you sir?" the youth seemed excited that there may be an alternative to the tailor.

"An old freind of Sam's, I came here looking for him."

"Can i come with you to help you find him?"

Pedro smiled, another young one to train, his beard was beginning to gray, he had survived several turns, which was evident on his face.

"Of course."

-

The new Ranch had once been a maize plantation, until the war had left the former owners dead. With his savings Henry had managed o buy several acres, retiring on the victorious Eastern Front, as the West raged on. A handwritten manuscript lay open on his desk, All Quiet on the Eastern Front, an autobiography he was composing, from the death of his own farm to his midnight escape from Canada.

A new wife sat in the kitchen, trying to teach Elizabeth to eat without throwing up, the swell of the woman's stomach had begun receding, maybe a second child was in order.

The first had arrived two months after the marrige, which had been for Henry's old fashined mind's comfort, he expected the future children to take nine months.

Cattle chewed happily in the feilds outside, it was all too perfect it must be a ....

dream. Henry woke quickly, jerking from the sheets he had taken from his old house into the cold Minnesota feilds, where he made his way south to Texas, returning home.

He too had an Odessy to complete.

He wondered how long it was until Frostbite klled him.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

but what on earth did that cat have to do with the story ?

Dont mind me you just keep writing.

And taking the tablets.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

I mean come on my dog said to me just the other day as I threw him another stick, "Theres no such thing as a talking cat," and went on to say "mind I saw a good blue movie once entitled A Snapping ***** and another called ***** Talk"

"Stop that you filthy dog!" I said.

[vovan]

Originally posted by ChrisiusMaximus
I mean come on my dog said to me just the other day as I threw him another stick, "Theres no such thing as a talking cat," and went on to say "mind I saw a good blue movie once entitled A Snapping ***** and another called ***** Talk"

"Stop that you filthy dog!" I said.

What happened to everybody lately? Are you all having a streak of weird humour?

SKI