NEW Storywriter's Union Thread

[Metaliturtle]

PM me nominations for the SUNES with the following categories, due to the limited voting, you cannot nominate yourself, but you can vote for yourself.

Funniest NESser:
Most Expansionistic NESser
Most Commercial NESser
Most Gipped NESser
Most Diplomatic
Most Empire Growth
Most historically accurate
Most off the wall.

These are all based on the SUNES, Please PM me all nominations Before Thursday, June 13th.

If you wish to add a category, PM me and I'll update it if you have a good reason.

[High Lord J]

I would like to apply for membership to the storywriters union I wrote Power Gained & Power Lost also known as Book 1 of the Dagger of Justice Series.

[SKILORD]

When does the voting start?

[Metaliturtle]

when I get at least 2 noms for each category

[Metaliturtle]

OOOH almost forgot, welcome our newest member High Lord J!!

[Captain]

I thought this union was for helping each other write better stories by constructive criticism and feedback?

sign me up if so. tell me about my stuff in SNESA 2.

[Metaliturtle]

NESes don't count i'm afraid, the main qualification is an independent story, if you wrote a regular story once, send me the link and you're in, otherwise write a story, i'll look for it.

[SKILORD]

If you write that story as well as you did in the NES tho you'll have no problem

[SKILORD]

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=52437

critique it please

[High Lord J]

Skilord,

You might want to write the story on word or anything like it and then spell check it. You have a lot of misspelled and not capitalized words. I use AOL Notepad thing for all my posts then spell check them.

Don't break up the paragraphs with broken lines. It looks very unprofessional. If you can't make it obvious when you switch characters through the writing just put a * next to the paragraph for a new character.

Other then that it is really standard beginning. You might want to make something more interesting to start out the story. I recognize you tried to make it not look like you were just stating facts in the start you kind of were. Although you should do that in the story the way you did with people thinking so readers get an idea of what is going on it shouldn't be the first paragraph of the story.

I hope none of this is insulting I am just trying to help out. Let me know if this is to negative, or arrogant. Good luck on your next piece and let me know if want anymore help on your story. I haven't seen many ancient age Japanese stories on the board and this one may be interesting.

[Metaliturtle]

High lord, just a small note, it's better for the author if you post critiques on the story because it bumps up the thread, just keep that in mind for next time, it's no big.

[High Lord J]

Will do thanks for the suggestion

[Metaliturtle]

no prob bob

[SKILORD]

thanx anyway.

[GeneralTacticus]

http://64.246.32.51/~admin1/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=52518

I just started on this story, can you please critique it. Thanks in advance.