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Alright, this would be my first post to a civ3 board, but I was playing a game and was suddenly struck on the head... no, not by an idea, just struck on the head by my webcam. You see I was trying to see if the horsemen... well never mind, onto the story.
It started as a normal world, with many scattered races, and my fine ramification of the powerfully stupid race of the Aztecs (how in the hell are we supposed to pronounce some of the city names), and as usual, our culture far surpassed that of all others. As my city borders approached the Egyptians, Abydos, Cairo, Buto, and countless other hamlets and thorpes became mine for the taking. As my soverignity intersected the greeks, my race flourished with cities like Sparta, Greece, and many others. As my devine cultural... well, you get the picture. But, at the time of the 1800's, the other civs began to get jealous, which is where I begin.
"President Montezuma, we have information that the evil American troops have declared war on us because we stole all of the panties from Las Vegas."
"I see, and did we steal the panties?"
"Of course not, sir," the military advisor stuttered a bit on that last part, "at least, I don't think we did."
Montezuma stared into space blankly for a moment and then responded, "Well, that's good enough for me, send delegates to Rome.."
"We destroyed them, sir"
"What?" The President had that strange look on his face, like when he's furious.
"The Romans Sir, We destroyed them."
"So we did, well send a delegate or two any way, for tax purposes."
"But sir, I don't understand how we coul...."
Montezuma cut him off, "that's why you're not the president. Now, contact the Persians, the Iriquois, the Greeks, the Egyp..."
This time it was the advisor to be cutting off, "Sir, in all due respect, we have..."
But Montezuma couldn't let that happen, "Don't all due respect me, why, in my day, boy I can almost remember how the sun had a gleam to it, how the rose petals used smell so prettily, how we always had ice cream and hot fudge on tuesdays follow by the sweet inards of a..."
"Poop"
"What did you say?"
"Poop, sir"
"And why did you say poop?"
"I didn't say poop."
"Well than what did you say."
"Poop."
"But you just said you didn't say poop."
"I didn't, I said Poop. With a capital p sir, you said it with a lower case."
"So I did, well why did you say Poop?"
"Oh, someone in the story, namely you, had almost finished an entire paragraph of speech without being interrupted, I thought it was only fitting to..."
"Stop at once. There shall be no more cutting off of one's speech in mid..."
"Sir, you just cut me off. I think it only fair, that if you say no more cut-offs, that you don't interrupt someone just before saying..."
"Oh just shut up"
"See you did it again. I really think that you should abide by..."
"Listen, no more cutting off from now on, this must be losing any humor it may have had, so just contact every race but the Americans."
\::/
/||\
That's all for now, if anyone reads it, and likes it, or just wants to see it continued, post what you want to happen or what you think of it so far. And It shall be continued.
It started as a normal world, with many scattered races, and my fine ramification of the powerfully stupid race of the Aztecs (how in the hell are we supposed to pronounce some of the city names), and as usual, our culture far surpassed that of all others. As my city borders approached the Egyptians, Abydos, Cairo, Buto, and countless other hamlets and thorpes became mine for the taking. As my soverignity intersected the greeks, my race flourished with cities like Sparta, Greece, and many others. As my devine cultural... well, you get the picture. But, at the time of the 1800's, the other civs began to get jealous, which is where I begin.
"President Montezuma, we have information that the evil American troops have declared war on us because we stole all of the panties from Las Vegas."
"I see, and did we steal the panties?"
"Of course not, sir," the military advisor stuttered a bit on that last part, "at least, I don't think we did."
Montezuma stared into space blankly for a moment and then responded, "Well, that's good enough for me, send delegates to Rome.."
"We destroyed them, sir"
"What?" The President had that strange look on his face, like when he's furious.
"The Romans Sir, We destroyed them."
"So we did, well send a delegate or two any way, for tax purposes."
"But sir, I don't understand how we coul...."
Montezuma cut him off, "that's why you're not the president. Now, contact the Persians, the Iriquois, the Greeks, the Egyp..."
This time it was the advisor to be cutting off, "Sir, in all due respect, we have..."
But Montezuma couldn't let that happen, "Don't all due respect me, why, in my day, boy I can almost remember how the sun had a gleam to it, how the rose petals used smell so prettily, how we always had ice cream and hot fudge on tuesdays follow by the sweet inards of a..."
"Poop"
"What did you say?"
"Poop, sir"
"And why did you say poop?"
"I didn't say poop."
"Well than what did you say."
"Poop."
"But you just said you didn't say poop."
"I didn't, I said Poop. With a capital p sir, you said it with a lower case."
"So I did, well why did you say Poop?"
"Oh, someone in the story, namely you, had almost finished an entire paragraph of speech without being interrupted, I thought it was only fitting to..."
"Stop at once. There shall be no more cutting off of one's speech in mid..."
"Sir, you just cut me off. I think it only fair, that if you say no more cut-offs, that you don't interrupt someone just before saying..."
"Oh just shut up"
"See you did it again. I really think that you should abide by..."
"Listen, no more cutting off from now on, this must be losing any humor it may have had, so just contact every race but the Americans."
\::/
/||\
That's all for now, if anyone reads it, and likes it, or just wants to see it continued, post what you want to happen or what you think of it so far. And It shall be continued.
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