Succession game "The Morons"

[Tarquinius]

Allright, I will try to play the game tonight, or else I will play tomorrow. 20 turns right?

[randommushroom]

Yep, sounds good. 20 turns for the second player of the game, 15 the next, and 10 thereafter.

[Tarquinius]

In 2150 BC Tarquinius the Fool became the new emperor of the Japanese empire. The empire consisted three cities at that time. When the emperor heard that he became furious. "What???? How can that be?? I thought we had thousands of cities!" When the emperor heard three cities was all they had he spoke the famous words: "Then we should build more"
The Japanese capitol of Kyoto was ordered to make ready new settlers, instead of a temple. The other two cities were lacking food, so they were ordered to build workers.
The emperor also wanted to found out were the Zulu people lived, so his warriors kept exploring the surrounding lands.

2070 BC: (3) Osaka produced a worker, and was ordered to build a warrior next.
1990 BC: (5) Tokyo produced a worker, and was ordered to build a settler. When the emperor heard it would take almost a thousand years, he was outraged, but when he calmed down he said: "Then let it be so"
1950 BC: (6) The Japanese capitol had made the settler ready. "Now they earned a temple" Tarquinius spoke.
1910 BC: (7) In this year an ambassador from the Iroqouis visited the emperor. "Our magnificent chief Hiawatha wants to do the Japanese people a proposal. He sees the Japanese are backward people, and is willing to learn them the secrets of the Warrior Code for 11 gold" "Well I don't care we are being backwards, but this offer seems fair. I accept it." The emperor said. "I like everything that has warrior in it, so it must be good"
Later that year, an old man wanted to speak to the emperor. "Who is this man?" the emperor asked to his guard. "He claims to be your science advisor Ssre, whatever that may be"
"Hmm, let him in" "Thank you sire for letting me come to you, I am sorry I didn't announce it but this an emergency!" "An emergency?" the emperor frowned. "Yes sire!, I need to know what to research next! We were pursuing the warrior code but we heard you bought that knowledge from the Iroqouis" "So what are the options then, advisor" the emperor said, with a bit of irony in his voice. "We have a large scala of options.....". The science advisor kept on going. The emperor didn't understand much of it. When his advisor was finally finished, the emperor asked: "So what do you recommend me?" "I recommend researching horseback riding, so we can ride on horses!"
"Well that sounds just fine, you can go now advisor"
"One more thing sire, could I get some more money for researching?" "Absolutely not" the emperor replied, "The Iroqoius were a lot faster than we were with researching, so every gold coin extra would be plain waste!" "But Sire" the adviosr tried, "the answer is NO!" the emperor yelled. "Guards put this man out of my palace"

1870 BC: (8) Osaka produced warrior, and continued with a settler.
1830 BC: (9) Edo founded, north from Kyoto, east from Osaka.
1700 BC: (13) Kyoto finished the temple, and starts cranking out another settler.
1675 BC: (14) Edo completes its warrior, and starts on a temple.
1650 BC- 1575 BC (15-17) These were quiet years. not much happened, the cities just tried to complete whatever they were working on, and the workers built roads, and irrigated plains.
1575 BC: (18) Kyoto built another settler, and starts on a spearman.
1525 BC: (20) This was the last year of Tarquinius' reign. When he was sick, and knew he would die, he was dissapointed he lived shorter than his ancestor, randommushroom, but he died at a still respectable age of 645. His last words were: "Send the settler north, young Dunk, so we can enjoy the pleasure of wearing fur!"

[SKILORD]

i'm gonna have to back out. i've gotta cut down on my 5 Sg's due to a request from my girlfreind. Women . Very odd people, to prove this i have devloped the following conversations, loosely based on reality.

"dad, i've got 5 SG's that i'm doing at once!"
his eyes beam with pride, "That's good son"

" 'laina i've got 5 Sg's going at once."(or words to that effect)
"couldn't you be spending that time with me?" gotta love 'em.

see, exrapolate upon the truth to prove that i'm right. i'm quite proud.

[randommushroom]

Thank you for your interest, Skilord. Yah, don't forget about the girlfriend--they can do things that no computer software can do.

So the roster currently stands like this:

1. Randommushroom
2. Tarq (just finished the second round)
3. Dunk (His round, 15 turns to play)

Good job on keeping that science advisor in his place, Tarq.

[dunk]

Here begins the glorious tale of Dunk I, moron extroidanairre.

(Note... living up to the moron ideal, Dunk I plays too many turns. During Dunk's future turns, the "End of Turn Reminder will be activated.)

1475 BC... Dunk sends the settlers north, as commanded to him by Tarq. And there was much rejoicing.

1400 BC... The city of Satsuma is founded by the little fuzzy creatures.

1350 BC... A barbarian tribe is defeated near the Iriquois. Later in the year, a man named Alexander said hello to us. Dunk I grunted and accepted his offer of this thing he called "writing" for "how to make iron things" and 4 shiny things.

1325 BC... The bald-headed woman advisor tells Dunk I that the Greeks are building some pyramid-shaped buildings.

1300 BC... The city of Kagoshima is founded near a big herd of Elephants. A good portion of the elephants decide to live in the city and rent houses.

1275 BC... A barbarian tribe chases our settlers away from a god city site with horseye nearby. More soldiers needed.

1175 BC... Iron is connected to our cities with a road. The fifties-haircutted lady advisor tells me that we can build "Swordsmen"... she says they carry metal sticks that are sharp. Oooo, pointy.

1125 BC... The barbarians that chased our settlers away are defeated by our "Men Who Shoot Pointy Things."

1100 BC... More barbarians are beaten near the Greeks. Hiawatha makes an "embassy" in Kyoto. Dunk I thinks the building looks funny. Dunk I then commands the foreign advisor to make such buildings in Zimbabwe and Athens (even though we have no idea where Athens is, the project is a sucess.)

1025 BC... The bald-headed woman advisor tells me that the Iriquois are building pyramid-shaped buildings just like the Greeks are. She only comes by to tell Dunk I that other people are building stuff. She's not friendly. Dunk I wants to rub her head. Dunk I scratches his head and says "pointy".

Notes... I think there is a barbarian camp north of Kagoshima. Sorry I played too many turns. Oops. There's a settler and a spearman near the horses. We should build a city there.

[dunk]

And here's the file.

[randommushroom]

Good write up, Dunk. I've got the game and should be able to play my 10 turns, or so, tonight. Don't worry too much if you, or anyone, doesn't exactly get the number of turns right. It can sometimes be better to take a few extra if something should be finished before the next person, or be a few short if needed.

So we now know of Iroqs, Zulus, and Greeks. If the Greeks get the Great Library, that'll be a tough conquest early on because of those Hoplites.

[Tarquinius]

Hey randommushroom, if the Greeks build the Great Library, we can just wait a while until we get Samurai, and then kick their butts
Good job Dunk, thank you for obeying me

If someone else wants to join: please do, a few more players would make the game more interesting, at least that is what I think.

[dunk]

The Greeks and Iriquois are building the Pyramids, not the Great Library.

Great Library isn't pointy.

[randommushroom]

I'd like to see a couple of more players too, for more variety among the rulers, and more time between each of the rounds.

Of course, only one civ can get the Pyramids, which means someone will cascade to the Library. There are still 4 civs unaccounted for.

[dunk]

And of course I forgot that we must destroy the civ that builds the Great Library.

[randommushroom]

I will post the summary and savegame soon. Built a new city, inherited settler from Dunk, and built two new settlers. One is very close to the city location I picked for it, though I may have picked it while smoking weed or something. Well you'll see why it feels like a strange decision after reading the summary. Although it's not a bad location, it may not have been the best one immediately.

[randommushroom]

I will say, it's a little different mindset in a succession game. I'm very used to regular games where I tend to think of everything in superhuge longterm plans. But now for the summary and game:

Preturn: Supreme Moron Rando has message delivered to him through his emissary, Internet Explorer. It says, "You are needed to lead the Morons again, it's 1000 BC and you must work again to lead them to glory." Rando sighed; he had been involved in leading a bunch of Americans to an empire of over 150 cities. He would have to reset his thoughts of building cities every two or three spaces apart.

He looked at what his predi, predess, the guy who went before left in Japan.



1000 BC (1): Look things over, change Kyoto to settler, change Tokyo to temple. Send available settler towards horses. Wipe out barbarian horseman. Renegotiate peace treaty with Alex, he gives five gold to keep the peace. Reneg with Hi, I give him 22 gold and he gives me horseback riding for us to remain at peace.

975 BC (2): Barb encampment near some silks wiped out.

950 BC (3): Nara founded.

925 BC (4): Kyoto finishes settler, swordsman started. Kago finishes temple, worker begun. Osaka finishes barracks, another worker ordered. Elite warrior smashes a barb encampment for 25 gold. Worker begins road to collect furs so I can have a fur coat. Settler beings trek to horses to the north and east, which might be a good location to build The Big Bronze Guy.

900 BC (5): Warrior upgraded to swordsman in new barracks of Osaka.

---Shaka comes for a visit, wants to trade territory maps. I don't want to let him know where all our goodies are, so I talk to him about a tech for 100 gold. The wise man begins looking into a strange idea that there are many gods. Doesn't he know I'm the only one!

975 BC (6) : quiet

850 BC (7): : pretty quiet

825 BC (8): Decide to change Edo to settler.

800 BC (9): Kagoshima finishes worker, and I suddenly realize it's a coastal city, with excellent Colossus potential. With all the bonus ivory squares, commerce will be excellent. We'll need to have the workers run a path of irrigation to it, but it looks like the place. Kago started on Colossus.

775 BC (10) Road to the beavers is completed and they begin running into all our cities like lemmings. I celebrate with a fine beaver pelt coat. Worker sent to mine shielded grassland. Settler will finish in Edo, and I think silk would be great. Settler nears horses in the north and east, it would probably be good to settle right on top of them--there'll be shielded grasslands right next to the city.

And Supreme Moron Rando steps down, not quite pleased knowing he made one moronic decision concerning a settler and where to settle. But at least he's got a fur coat now, and will soon have an ivory necklace. Water the elephants! Make Kagoshima grow and build the big Bronze Guy!

[dnassman]

I have one requests on behalf of the people following this thread. Like a lot of SG's out there the problem, for people who are trying to follow the game and not play, is that we have no idea of what the map looks like or what is going on. We don't want to have to download the zip file and in my case have to take it home and look at it, we want to see the map at the end of your turn paste at the end of your post. It will be much easier to follow for readers otherwise I find it very hard to folow a game that I can't see what is going on.

Hopefully this plea will be heard.