Timeline

[ChrisiusMaximus]

I think its fine myself, just a little confusing when I first read it.

You need to define more clearly that Cathy was looking back, daydreaming if you like.

However you would define it you need to point it out more clearly

As I said I enjoyed it and I am very much looking forward to your next installment

[SKILORD]

Yes, thanks for clarifying what I said Chrisus.

[PLATO]

Thanks for the feedback guys! I tried moving a couple of paragraphs and adding an intro sentence. Does that work better?

[SKILORD]

much better.

[PLATO]

Thanks SKILORD.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

[MysticWind]

Are the Iroquois going to be in it?

[vovan]

Have you forgot all about this story, PLATO? Quite sad that.

[PLATO]

Originally posted by vovan
Have you forgot all about this story, PLATO? Quite sad that.

No...I haven't forgot. Life has just thrown me a few curve balls of late. I really am anxious to get back on it. Please bear with me.

[SKILORD]

curve balls eh?

well lets see you kick them right back down their throat and get back to the story.

Yes, a new philosophy, 'When life gives you lemons... kick the bastard's teeth out so that he won't ask you to share, then make lemonade. Because you need teeth to drink lemonade.'

Unless this metaphor is totally innapropriate, then ignore it...

but get back to the story when you're in order...

please.

[Paddy]

Plato, looking forward to your return

[Grandpa Troll]

Plato, Plato

Where for art thou Plato?

Hope this finds you well

Gramps

[Sovereign]

Awesome story, Plato. I wish he could have written like 10 more chapters.

[SKILORD]

don't talk like that, he's coming back.