La Grande Nation

[unscratchedfoot]

Wow, this is getting even better. The quotes from Jeanne to cover up the starvation situation are great. You should be a PR man, Chaotic dude. I'm looking forward to seeing the Celtics get beaten down. Do the french have an acceptable official motive?

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Youre doing a great job with this its most entertaining, cant wait to see the reports from the next campaign. As Scratch says the unit losses updates are a good idea, as are the IBT reports of what the enemy are up to.

I remember some of SKILORDS earlier stories, he used lots of screenies and such to add eye candy to his work, although his style has changed and I like his recent stuff very much he was very good at writing this sort of piece, and Im sure he would like this. What Im trying to say is that this is a refreshing crisp and informative style of documenting your game, and you can see the players enjoyment of his game through the writing.

Its a great first story, a great first effort, your updates are about right in length just enough to salve the readers thirst and also keep him waiting for more. Please keep it coming.

[Kaos XIII]

@unscratchedfoot: Of course, the French are a peace loving people and they never go to war unless it is justified. ''

@ChrisiusMaximus: I’ve only read SKILORDS’ presents stories, didn’t know there were older ones. I’m going to have to check those out! About the eye-candy, you just can’t go wrong with it. The IBT I got from the Succession Games and the casualty reports started ‘cause I could never tell how many units I was losing compared to the A.I. like in Civ2.

Now for the continuation:

350-- State of the Union
Pop. 4,980,000 2nd in the world
Land 36,300 sq. m. 5th in the world
Military 55 units

The war with Carthage lasted 120 years with many casualties, however, we were still at war with Aztlan and Isabella is getting all prissy ‘cause we haven‘t sent anybody to help yet. Back at home the atrocities at Rusicade are uncovered by some nosy reporters. The headline in the papers read, “Forceful Starvation in Rusicade”. The scandal hits all politicians hard, including Jeanne. Thousands gather outside the Palace in Versailles and demand the impeachment of Jeanne.

Her advisors in an effort to control the spin decide to pin the blame on Gen. Fronsac. Fronsac agrees to take the blame only in exchange for immunity from Jeanne, promise of Gold payments and a chance to lead the French into victory again in Celtia. Jeanne agrees, but is stunned to hear Fronsac speak of “her secret plan” to attack the Celts. Fronsac‘s “hero” status is reduced to “criminal” status as he appears before Le Tribunal des Conflits (Tribunal of Conflicts) and speaks about what happened that lead to the starvation of Rusicade, “There were many resistors there, we were scared and confused, the lines of communication got mixed up somehow.“ The Tribunal absolves him of his crimes and blames the lack of structure in the military as the sole reason for the famine.

Fronsac walks out of court grinning from ear to ear, as he gets into is wagon and heads to his chateaux. The public is furious and tomatoes are thrown at him as he walks down the steps of the Courthouse. Unfortunately, Fronsac is never to be seen again. Rumors are bound that the Carthaginian mafia in Theveste ordered his execution. Others think he couldn’t bare the criticism and left on his own to live in Spain. In fact the truth is much more sinister, Jeanne fearful of Fronsac leaking the Celtic battle plans to the press, ordered him kidnapped and banished to far away Egypt. Officially, Fronsac’s case is still being investigated.

Up to this point Jeanne was pretty much in control of all matters concerning France, but the Assemblée Nationale (Parliament) was slowly wresting control from Jeanne. In fact the Rusicade scandal had given the Assemblée much power in domestic issues. However, Jeanne was still the dominant figure when it came to the military and issues of national security. With more free time Jeanne begins to reform the military into a well organized machine. She also wants to make sure that the military is divided somewhat, so that no one general can have enough power.

All ground units will now be referred to as the Armée de Terre (Army) , which will then be divided into three subgroups. Northern Defense Force stationed in Rusicade, Southern Defense Force stationed in Lyon and the Expeditionary Offensive Force which would be spread all over the country ready to attack anywhere, anyplace. Also all of our sea vessels, all of which are used for transport, will now be referred to as the Marine Nationale (Navy), which would have two subgroups. North Defense Fleet based in Tours and Chartres. South Defense Fleet based in Dijon and Grenoble. Full control of the military and its operations still reside with the Commander in Chief, which is Jeanne, of course.

Jeanne whom is also in control of all our foreign affairs establishes embassies in many foreign capitals. Diplomats in those embassies are given authority to operate our foreign policies in those embassies. With our diplomats, Jeanne creates a new spy group known only as the Noire Pluie, which would consist mostly of diplomats acting as spies in those capitals. The Noire Pluie also has operatives inside France which include propaganda and anti-subversive teams, only Jeanne and her people know about these secret teams.


360-- Promotions are now in store for Jacques Géricault and Louis Dequenne. Géricault was a former Knight and was there in the final assault in Theveste. He is now put in charge of the Northern French Defense Forces, which consisted of 8 Knight and 3 Musketeer battalions. Jeanne orders Gen. Géricault to take a token force of 2 Knight battalions into Aztlan. He was told to “just harass the Aztecs to look good in the eyes of the Spanish.” We would name this limited war OPERATION ENDURING FRIENDSHIP for the Spanish.

Meanwhile to the west in the coastal city of Dijon, Gen. Dequenne, who was an excellent marksmanship with the French Musketeers and was there in Rusicade during the many counterattacks is now in command of the Expeditionary Offensive Force. Also in Dijon is Adm. DeClerk of the South Defense Fleet, there the two men meet with Jeanne to discuss the operation which will bring Spices to France.

Dequenne: We need to storm to the two nearest towns at the exact same time from the sea.
Jeanne: I agree, it’s good to be finally working with a competent general for a change. So DeClerk, how many battalions can you transport in your fleet for the initial invasion.
DeClerk: We have 3 Caravel fleets and can fit 9 battalions.
Jeanne: Excellent I shall now prepare the Celtic protocol with our objectives.
Dequenne: I have but one question Jeanne, how are the people of France going to accept this aggressive war.
Jeanne: Don‘t be worrying about that, I have a strong suspicion that the French people will be supporting this war very soon.”

Our Caravels begin loading up men and material in Dijon Harbor. Jeanne then lays out the Celtic Protocol for DeClerk and Dequenne to study , it read as follows:

OBJECTIVE 1: Capture Ratae Caritanorum and secure Spice deposits
OBJECTIVE 2: Capture Lapurdunum to delay Celtic effort in retaking back the Spices.

The two towns listed were very small and a great distance away from the heart of Celtia. Covered in jungle with no roads connecting them to the rest of Celtia, a Celtic counterattack would take a long time to develop. This time the Objectives are to be accomplished simultaneously, a lesson learned from the Carthaginian War. Our first intelligence reports indicate that the Celts have only Spearmen and Gallic Swordsmen (GS) in the area. Once again we just need a valid reason to declare war for our Republican citizens. The war would be code-named OPERATION HOT SPICE.


380-- MURDER!!! Is what is being printed throughout all of France. One of our diplomats was murdered in the streets of Ratae Caritanorum. Jeanne demanded the body be returned for proper burial, Brennus declined. Our populace is horrified and seething with anger. The poor agent was trying to investigate the military forces inside Ratae Caritanorum when his cover was somehow blown. He was imprisoned and then executed after a two day show-trial. Jeanne responded by saying, “Our people abroad are not to be treated like animals, a message must be sent to the Celts.“ This meant only one thing - WAR!

Inside her palace in Versailles, however, Jeanne was not that upset over the execution of a Noire Pluie agent. The reason was because a Noire Pluie double agent working with Brennus had told the Celts of the espionage operation. That the poor diplomat was actually given up to the Celts, oh well, that‘s the price of glory. News from the northern front now reveals the Gen. Géricault has captured some civilian Aztec Workers, they were sent to France for a better life.

Aztec War - Operation Enduring Friendship
Casualties:

France
Civilians: 0

Aztlan
Civilians: 0
1 Workers

the objectives and world map, as you can see we are just west of Dijon


Back with more very soon!!!

[Kaos XIII]

390 -- Our forces successfully land in the Galois Jungle outside of the two key Celtic towns. 4 Knight, 1 Musketeer battalions wait outside Ratae while 3 Knight, 1 Musketeer battalions hide in the jungles outside Lapurdunum. All we see are Spearmen guarding the towns, the men are upbeat and confident this might be a very easy war.

IBT: The first battle: a GS attacks our Musketeers outside of Ratae. We are now tasting our very first jungle battle and we like it. It is the first time many of our troops have even been in a tropical location and the humidity is very intense, but not overbearing. This might be easier than we thought, those Swordsmen don‘t stand a chance against our Musketeers and are easily eliminated.

Aztec War - Operation Enduring Friendship
Casualties:

France
Civilians: 0

Aztlan
Civilians: 0
1 Workers

-------------------------------------------------
Celtic War - Operation Hot Spice
Casualties:

France
Civilians: 0

Celtia
1 Gallic Swordsmen
Civilians: 0

bigger world map with all the known continents



400 -- Gen. Dequenne orders the battles for Ratae and Lapurdunum to begin simultaneously to achieve the greatest shock effect. In Lapurdunum our Knights move out from the jungles and into the town, which was defended by two Spearmen battalions. The Spearmen are promptly defeated by our Knights and we take Lapur a very small town of 10,000.

In Ratae the battle is more of a struggle as 1 Knight battalion is lost. However, something miraculous is happening out in these jungles. As some of our troops begin to yell, “RETREAT, RETREAT”, a Great Leader emerges and says to all, “je ne suis pas effrayé, ALLONS, ALLONS, à l’avant pour la gloire de la France!!!”, the retreating troops stop as they hear his strong, stern voice. They are moved by him and with an injection of adrenaline follow him into Ratae, destroying everything in their paths. His name will be remembered by French historians for all time, Napoleon Bonaparte. Jeanne is so impressed by the young soldier she allows him to take command of his own small force. In the end though, the town of Ratae did not survive the onslaught. Settlers are quickly gathered in Amiens, as soon as we get around 10,000 volunteers we will send them out to Dijon where they will then sail to the Galois Jungle.

Meanwhile in the northern front Géricault is tired of just pillaging and orders an attack on Calixtlahuaca. In the mountains outside Calixhuatla there are gems and he says to his officers, “if we can capture Calixhuatla, get the Gems, then we will become military heroes for all time.” Calix is however, built on a hill and is not going to be an easy fight. 2 Pikemen battalions are inside Calix and are left dead by our glorious Knights, but the city was not ours yet and 1 Knight battalion suffered many casualties. Géricault now asks Jeanne to release the full northern forces to take Calixhuatla. Jeanne is very upset her orders were ignored, but realizes that Géricault is right. If we can capture the town of Calixhuatla, that would enable a second Carthaginian War unnecessary.

Jeanne secures an R.O.P. with Hannibal, whom is too weak to decline the offer and announces to Géricault, “you have directly ignored my orders, but seeing as the Gems can be had I will release the 6 Knight Battalions under your control. But know this, you are only to capture Calix and take the Gems, if you ignore my orders again or fail to capture the Gems, your a** is grass.” Géricault is quite a rebel and instead of sending all of his new force to Calix, he decides to divert half his force to attack Texcoco, an Iron rich city, a direct violation of Jeanne‘s orders. He has his own objectives and says, “When I take the Gems and two Aztec cities, the people of France will love me. Jeanne will have no authority or political power to punish me.”

IBT: Celts counter with 1 Horsemen and 1 Archer battalions in an effort to retake Lapur, the Horsemen are able to retreat, but the Archers sure didn’t. In the north an Aztec Knight battalion is able to defeat our injured Knights outside Calix. Our other Knights fast approach the battlefield through wretched Carthaginian territory. It is a very strange feeling to march up and down Carthage with many Carthaginian soldiers moving all around you, after we had just finished a very bloody war.

Aztec War - Operation Enduring Friendship
Casualties:

France
1 Knight
Civilians: 0

Aztlan
2 Pikemen
Civilians: 0
1 Workers

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Celtic War - Operation Hot Spice
Casualties:

France
1 Knights
Civilians: 0

Celtia
1 Gallic Swordsmen
1 Archer
4 Spearmen
Civilians: 26,000

Géricault's objectives in Aztlan

[unscratchedfoot]

Very interesting! I like the eye-candy, military ops and the intrigue among the generals. I have an idea: when you get the next great leader thing you should name him after one of the generals already in your story to make even better.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Superb stuff !!

[Kaos XIII]

410 -- Dequenne defends Lapur primarily and secures the location of the new town, as we wait for our settlers to arrive. The location will be in the exact same place where the ruins of Ratae are. Dequenne sends Napoleon to Lapur where he is promoted and given 2 Knight battalions to lead on his own. Dequenne is jealous of all the attention that is being paid on Napoleon and is secretly hoping the young upstart is wounded in battle. In Aztlan, we now have 4 Knight battalions outside Calix. Our other 3 Knights are heading toward Texcoco, but they have been delayed by the Carthaginian soldiers who are clogging up the roads.

Back in France there are signs of small gatherings in some French cities. They protest the war and demand freedom of the press. There are only a few hundred in the gatherings so Jeanne is not worried about them, “besides their idiots, we already have freedom of the press“, she says.

IBT: Celts continue to send primitive soldiers into the area. Our troops just laugh at the sight of the poorly trained Celtic military. In Aztlan, the Aztecs are just holding on as we see Spanish Longbowmen pillaging their countryside.

Aztec War - Operation Enduring Friendship
Casualties:

France
1 Knight
Civilians: 0

Aztlan
2 Pikemen
Civilians: 0
1 Workers

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Celtic War - Operation Hot Spice
Casualties:

France
1 Knights
Civilians: 0

Celtia
1 Gallic Swordsmen
1 Archer
4 Spearmen
Civilians: 26,000


420 -- Napoleon, deep in the jungle outflanks a GS and finishes them off with his 2 Knight force. We are now able to build the Heroic Epic. Dequenne orders that there be no more attacks. “They are on the verge of collapse and our objectives have been met. Let’s just allow Jeanne to arrange a Peace Treaty.”

With our troops in place outside the hills of Calix, Géricault storms the town. The town has no walls, but moving up and down the hills is difficult enough. The Pikemen defenders take up the high points in the town and we quickly rush them. 1 Knight battalion dies, but we were still able to defeat 2 fortified Pikemen in the high grounds and capture Calix with some civilian Workers. Texcoco now remains, rested in the grasslands with the Peak of Cuactemoc in the outskirts. We capture the peak with our 3 Knight battalions and can now view much of the area around Texcoco. Jeanne is pleased and orders Temples, Libraries constructed in Calix to gain access to those Gems. She also has heard about the deployment to Texcoco from one of her moles in Géricault’s forces and wonders just what he is up to.

IBT: Aztecs are seen reinforcing the town of Texcoco, they do not dare try to recapture the peak.

Aztec War - Operation Enduring Friendship
Casualties:

France
2 Knights
Civilians: 0

Aztlan
4 Pikemen
Civilians: 22,000
2 Workers

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Celtic War - Operation Hot Spice
Casualties:

France
1 Knights
Civilians: 0

Celtia
2 Gallic Swordsmen
1 Archer
4 Spearmen
Civilians: 26,000

calix is ours, we look over texcoco


430 -- In Lapur, Gen. Dequenne welcomes French Foreign Minister Jean Fragonard whom will negotiate a peace treaty with Brennus. At the same time Napoleon directs an attack on a GS outside the jungles of Lapur. Dequenne is incensed and relays a message to Jeanne, “Napoleon’s insubordination needs to be dealt with immediately. He has very nearly ruined our chances to sign a peace treaty.” Jeanne just thinks their both acting like children.

The negotiations are held in the nearby resort Celtic town of Tolosa. Fragonard has instructions to take some of Brennus’ Gold, but quickly realizes that Brennus doesn’t have any. Brennus’ diplomats are then told, that if they and their ilk leave Tolosa, then peace will be agreed upon. The diplomats agree and are forced to leave Tolosa with their families. As Brennus’ people leave our Musketeers arrive, marching in front of a silent, stunned crowd in the town square. Also our settlers arrive in the Galois Jungle and establish the town of Cherbourg. The war against the Celts is very short compared to other wars at that time, it the lasts just 40 years.

Jeanne announces that our newly acquired oversea territory shall be given the name Biscay. Also to avoid confusion the mainland is now given the name Gaule. But together we are all français, citizens of France. Napoleon and Dequenne together arrive to the Victor’s Parade in Paris, but they can’t even face each other, let alone have a word. The parade goes smoothly, except for the few war protestors who had the gall to lay down on the Champs-Élysées covered with red paint, symbolizing the blood of all humanity in war.

After the parade Jeanne tells Dequenne, “I want you to be in charge of the newly created Biscay Defense Force.“ Dequenne is honored, but replies, “What about Expeditionary Offensive Force that I am currently in control.” “Don’t worry about that, the Biscay Defense Force will be one of the best supplied sectors of the military. To the south is the enclave of Babylon, a major world power and to the northwest is the Iroquoian town of Chondote. You are a very important general to France,” Jeanne answers. What Dequenne didn’t know was that the Expeditionary Offensive Force had already been handed over to the newly promoted General Napoleon Bonaparte. Jeanne liked Napoleon’s bravery and aggressive attitude, he was her kind of general. However, it is true that the Biscay Defense Force will be one of the larger forces of our military, especially with the mighty, powerful Babylonians in the neighborhood.

In Aztlan, it is a much different story. In clear violation of Jeanne’s orders, Géricault tells 3 Knight battalions to charge the town of Texcoco. The Aztecs are waiting for us inside the walled city. They watch as we stampede down Cuactemoc’s Peak. Our Knights face off against the very best of the Aztec Pikemen, elite soldiers hardened by war. We charge the walls, breach some areas of the town, only to get promptly slaughtered inside the walls of Texcoco.

Those who did survive are then sent to Tenochtitlan were unspeakable acts are committed upon them. Perhaps one such unspeakable act, must be told. Deep in the dark dungeons the men were continually beaten and tortured until they received a visit from an Aztec doctor. He stood 5’-7” and weighed 130 lbs., he quietly and politely asked that the men be strapped to the “operating table.” Once the men were strapped and without any pain-killers or anesthesia the doctor commenced to rip open their chest using simple daggers and pliers. Sick bastard, yeah I know. Removed from their bodies were their hearts, which were then taken away to be sacrificed to the Aztec Gods.

The men in Calix hear about this and take it out on the civilian population. No man, woman or child is spared as the soldiers release their anger and frustration. Hangings, stabbings, shootings and even some impaling is brought upon the populace. It is not our proudest moment, but who can blame the men for acting out. In the end 16,000 Aztecs were killed in the “Massacres de Vengeance.” Jeanne is repulsed and now orders Géricault arrested in Calixhuatla for “noncompliance in military affairs.” Le Tribunal des Conflits sentences him to life in prison for the dastardly attack.

In France the protestors now reach tens of thousands in many cities of France. Jeanne announces that “all activities in Aztlan are to be finished. We will fulfill our alliance with the Spanish, which will last until 480, but no more French blood will be spilled in Aztlan.” For the men of the Northern Defense Force there will be no victory parade as they are told to remain in Calix for guard duty.

Aztec War - Operation Enduring Friendship
Casualties:

France
5 Knights
Civilians: 0

Aztlan
4 Pikemen
Civilians: 38,000
2 Workers

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Celtic War - Operation Hot Spice (Final Casualty Report) --All objectives met and picked up an extra town not on the list.
Casualties:

France
1 Knights
Civilians: 0

Celtia
3 Gallic Swordsmen
1 Archer
4 Spearmen
Civilians: 26,000

our new territory Biscay

[Kaos XIII]

480 -- State of the Union
Pop. 6,282,000 3rd
Land 42,100 sq. m. 3rd
Military 63 units

The alliance with Spain has passed its time and Montezuma arrives in Paris to discuss negotiations for peace. Jeanne demands nothing of him and he nothing of her. The Treaty of Paris is signed by both leaders. Other than 1 Spearmen battalion that landed outside Rouen and later killed, the war ended without much more bloodshed. We kept our word to the Spanish and the nations around the world now know we were a people of honor and our word is bond. The war lasted 200 years, although only 80 years of that actually involved fighting.

Aztec War - Operation Enduring Friendship (Final Casualty Report)
Casualties:

France
5 Knights
Civilians: 0

Aztlan
4 Pikemen
1 Spearmen
Civilians: 38,000
2 Workers


550 -- We had a period of long anarchy as our country tried to reform from a Republic into a Democracy. Jeanne, founder and leader of the Union pour la Démocratie Française (U.D.F.), a political party leaning right of center, and the Assemblée Nationale whom was dominated by the Parti Socialiste (P.S.), which is more left of center, had fought bitterly for political power and nothing in the nation got done. This time of anarchy was known as “Les Ennuis” and before the revolt our people had been working hard to construct the J.S. Bach Cathedral, Adam Smith Trading Company, but because of the “troubles” both were suspended. Gun battles had taken place in many cities of France as Conservatives and Liberals faced off. During the this time the Generals and the military remained neutral, despite many attempts by Jeanne to get them and the Noire Pluie involved.

The period of Anarchy finally ended with a national referendum, where the French people voted that the Assemblée should now become the dominant figure in domestic and foreign policies. Wielding much power, the Parti Socialiste in the Assemblée passed many land reforms, social programs for the poor begun and worker’s rights were improved like a shorter work week. The businessmen were not too happy, but alas, we were still a passionate Capitalist society and there was enough money for everybody.

The French people were quite sick of war and just wanted to live in peace and prosperity. The majority of French citizens identify themselves more with the Parti Socialiste in the Assemblée. They are however, appreciative of Jeanne‘s toughness and ability to gain control over areas rich in luxuries. Because of that, Jeanne has continually won all national elections to remain as President of the Democratic Republic of France. While she still remained as Commander in Chief, the military and the power to declare war was now shared by both Jeanne and the Assemblée.

With the Assemblée now mostly in control of France, the era of international trading has arrived in full force. The Assemblée agenda is peace and prosperity for all. We currently have 3 luxuries, now that the Calix Gems have fallen in our territory and are receiving 5 more from all over the world. Our trading partners include many different and far away nations like Zululand, China, America, Russia and Mongolia. The other nations are willing to trade more with us now that the Assemblée is in charge.

In other news, French explorer François Watteau discovered 3 new islands in the South Atlantique Ocean. Settlers were rounded up and shipped out to these new places. At the same time the Babylonians were doing the same thing and it was a race between our nations to settle these islands. In the center of the South Atlantique, there were the 2 Bleu Islands. In the North Bleu Island, we established the town of Toulouse, just to the north on that small island the Babylonians had established the town of Tell Wilaya. In the Southern Bleu Island we established the town of Poitiers on some nearby Iron deposits and the Viking town of Karasjok. We needed the Iron for insurance since the Iron outside Theveste had long been exhausted. Further south we discovered a very large island we called the Antarctic Island because most of it was covered in ice, we sent 1 more Settlers down to that island.

north and south bleu islands



590 -- In an effort to satisfy the business sector the Adam Smith Trading Company project was continued by the Assemblée and built in Paris. This will help us bring in even more commerce into France. Even the conservatives were happy with the Parti Socialiste, which bothered Jeanne.

Bayonne is established in the northern part of the Antarctic island, where the area was mostly grassland. In the same island there were three more Babylonian settlements, but most of theirs are in the Tundra covered south part. Hammurabi was quite upset that we were able to take some spots where he wanted to settle and sends a message to the Jeanne and the Assemblée. “Our people are sick and tired of your insolence and can‘t wait to see your scum driven to the pit of hell itself. A shipment of Dyes might be the only thing that can ensure your survival.” We don’t know much about their military forces since much of the Noire Pluie has been disbanded, but we know they are very large and technologically ahead.

The Assemblée scatters and tries to agree on a response to Hammurabi’s threats. Jeanne is enraged, as is all of France and tells the Assemblée, “If you let this madman push us around, then what is to stop every other nation from threatening France. We must respond angrily for them to get the message” “You are crazy the Babylonians are the most powerful nation on Earth”, balk some members of the Assemblée. Instead, the Assemblée adopts a message in a resolution, which tells Hammurabi, “Our warring days our over, all France wants is peace and prosperity for all. Please Hammurabi we cannot give away Dyes, but perhaps we can please you in other ways.”

Jeanne is teed off at the weak response and labels the members of the Assemblée “les lâches”. She gathers all of the members of the U.D.F. and says, “Although I’m upset at the weak stance the Assemblée took, I feel that this could be a Godsend.” In the following elections the U.D.F. launches a campaign around the message of getting rid of the “Faibless de la France.” The campaign is successful and most of the P.S. is driven from the Assemblée. Jeanne and the U.D.F. are in control of the whole French government and changes are expected soon.


630 -- State of the Union
Pop. 8,664,000 2nd
Land 48,300 sq. m. 1st
Military 68 units

During the reign of the S.P., the nation was improved dramatically as the party concentrated on building up our industry, commerce and culture. However, the military was virtually ignored and vastly under-funded. From the last census taken 150 years ago, we had grown by 2,382,000 people and 6,200 sq. miles. However, our military had only added 5 battalions, 4 of which were Worker Companies unfit for fighting duty. Jeanne with the U.D.F., announced that our military would now be expanded to become the most feared force in the world. As far as the Noire Pluie goes, however, they would remain under-funded for now.

current world map and offshore territories


640 -- The construction of the J.S. Bach Cathedral is now complete in Tours and our people are filled with delight. Now Jeanne has ordered the retraining of our Knights to become modern Cavalry Brigades. These guys will be an impressive attack minded group of soldiers. Jeanne is very tempted to try out her new force. The people of France hold marches and parties in honor of Jeanne in most of the cities of France.


660 -- The Shakespeare’s Theater is built in Lyon. The quest for everlasting happiness continues.


Zulu-Incense Crisis
720 -- By now the people are extremely happy, then something terrible and strange happens. The Zulus declare that they will no longer trade Incense to France. No reason is given for the about change, but the people of France are now quite upset at Jeanne and the marches and parties are cancelled throughout France. Production slows down to a trickle and jobs are lost as our economy stagnates. With an election coming soon, Jeanne knows that she must do something to distract the public. She concocts a plan with her political advisors to take some Incense from the Zulus using all military means. This war would in turn rise the level of patriotism and she will ride the patriotic wave to the next election.

We know that there are two Incense deposits in the province of North-east Zulia. N.E. Zulia is a Zulu enclave consisting of three small towns and is separated from the rest of Zululand by a large portion of Korea. “Using the Noire Pluie in France we must begin a campaign of disinformation”, say the advisors. “And what would we say to misinform the public”, asks an intrigued Jeanne. “We know that Shaka is not the kindest ruler on the planet. So we just have to embellish a little on the despotic system of rule that goes on in N.E. Zulia,” responds an advisor. “Excellent, however, I now must excuse myself since I don’t want to be involved in the lurid details of what is to begin, remember I don‘t know anything about this,” says Jeanne as she exit’s the conference room.

The campaign begins and using the Noire Pluie and reporters on Jeanne’s payroll, the news begins to pour all throughout France. In the coming days the printing press rolls out headlines such as these; “Freedom of Speech Denied”, “Opposition Groups Murdered”, “Rapist on Government Payrolls,” “Saddam’s Weapons of Mass Destruction.” Oh Damn, wait a minute, never mind that last one. That belongs to a different story.

In public speeches Jeanne bestows upon the people that, “the virtues of freedom must be accessible to everyone in the world.” Fierce debates however, were now taking place throughout all of France. The left would say, “This war is all about Incense. Many people throughout the world suffer, are we going to save them all?” From the right they would toll the party line and say, “Why must freedom be denied to these poor people, besides we were too dependent upon foreign luxuries.”

Half of the population is in shock that the French Democracy is on the verge of partaking in yet another war against another nation. Demonstrations and marches fill the streets, they scream, “No war on Zululand and No blood for Incense.“ Many of the protestors feel that they can stop this “unjust” war, but still some realize that Jeanne’s war is going to happen, no matter what. It’s not a question of if, but when.

[unscratchedfoot]

YAH, another big rumble is coming up! I'd declare war too if someone refused to sell me incense. TRAUMATIZE THEM ZULUS!!!

[SKILORD]

Speak of the Devil and so he shall appear.

I remember some of SKILORDS earlier stories, he used lots of screenies and such to add eye candy to his work, although his style has changed and I like his recent stuff very much he was very good at writing this sort of piece, and Im sure he would like this. What Im trying to say is that this is a refreshing crisp and informative style of documenting your game, and you can see the players enjoyment of his game through the writing.

Well, it needs some tweaking but is fundamentally sound.

So I shalll set about to help my man out, do not take these for insults, they are not, they are criticisms, but frankly, if you are incapable of acceptin your own fallibility and weaknesses you are incapable of writing.

So here I go:

This story is based on a civIII game; Regent, Huge, Archi., 24 Civs

Totally unneccesarry and pointless to include this, I understand that at CFC simply everyone includes these nowadays, but to have to confess an inability to write so much as to shrink to these is shameful. We aren't playing a SG with you, we're listening to a history of your game, so don't do it.

Point 2: You are too dependant upon dates, making this too mucha timeline at some points. Dates are relatively unimportant, even in the study of history, so do your best to simply ignore them and come to bear your focus on cause and effect.

Why Carthage? In case your wondering the reason I chose Carthage

THis could have been revealed through dialougue (Something your story is lacking of). Dialoug is the most infinitly useful tool of an author. Maybe a close second to spell chack.

Carthaginian War - Operation Nation Crippling
Casualties:

Once again, overdependance on numbers and exact figures, noone will remember them anyways so make it broader and anyway, at the very least introduce the document (If you cannot resist the numbers) (ie: THe paper floated with a joyous air to Jeannes desk, from the advisor's hand.

"Good news," he intoned.

She picked up the paper.)

Starting at the year 330 chapter things start looking way up. :thumbsup:

Remember, if you weren't any good, I wouldn't waste my time criticising you.

[unscratchedfoot]

I like the story just as it is including the updated casualty reports for originality. I think a sentence like "The paper flew with joy down onto Jeanne's desk" would quite quickly make me stop reading it to be honest. It's a fun, simple story without all the boring descriptive filler which turned me off reading fiction novels. I read a story called, "the indian empire" by sealman on the civfanatics forum which is very similar style to this story and I think it was one of the best stories I've read except for the ending which he messed-up badly by adding stuff that didn't happen in the game he was playing.

[ChrisiusMaximus]

Sorry SKILORD although I pay homage to your good self on numerous occasions I must stand firmly with Scratch on this one, Yes your criticism's are fair and offered in the right spirit but I like this story.

Its refreshingly innovative in a number of ways and real fun to read.

Sorry about this SKI but you sound like your repeating word for word some criticism you have received from some jerk of a school teacher about one of your own stories.

Kaos your doing just great with this and although Ive stood against SKI's critique he does make good and sound points which may be of great help to you when writing future stories, always remeber that there are many different styles and methods of writing and most importantly this is a fan fiction forum!! Its supposed to be about passing your experience and fun from the Civ experience over to your fellow posters, and in this you have most definitely scored full marks with me.

IMHO you must not change the style or original method of writing this, it would only spoil what is already printed, sure your future work may be completley different or even much the same, truth is its up to you.

I think the reason I like this so much is its been a while since someone posted a piece of a similar report of a game style, and as Scratch says the casualty lists and the IBT reports etc.

More power to your elbow

[SKILORD]

It's certaintly improving, becoming more and more a story than a timeline with each passing chapter, but I think the problem could just be that I never think in terms of numbers, only vauge references to quantity most of the time.

I think I can understand what you're saying about this being his style though, with the dates and such. I am not fond of that style though, I'm sorry.

It isn't a bad story, and don't let me discourage you, I just don't like reading numbers.

[SKILORD]

The paper flew with joy down onto Jeanne's desk" would quite quickly make me stop reading it to be honest

Well, I was just pulling that outta my arse, it wasn't thought out or edited and it isn't very good, it is only meant to convey a point, not to show off my writing skills.

[Kaos XIII]

Salut, ça va? Ah yes, very glad to hear from the Lord of the Skis.

Originally posted by SKILORD

Totally unneccesarry and pointless to include this, I understand that at CFC simply everyone includes these nowadays, but to have to confess an inability to write so much as to shrink to these is shameful. We aren't playing a SG with you, we're listening to a history of your game, so don't do it.

Point 2: You are too dependant upon dates, making this too mucha timeline at some points. Dates are relatively unimportant, even in the study of history, so do your best to simply ignore them and come to bear your focus on cause and effect.

THis could have been revealed through dialougue (Something your story is lacking of). Dialoug is the most infinitly useful tool of an author. Maybe a close second to spell chack.

Once again, overdependance on numbers and exact figures, noone will remember them anyways so make it broader and anyway, at the very least introduce the document (If you cannot resist the numbers) (ie: THe paper floated with a joyous air to Jeannes desk, from the advisor's hand.

CFC, that’s where I first started playing the Succession Games and reading Civ stories. I guess I got used to writing the dates and IBT. This story is mos’ def’ CFC style, which is why I chose to bring it to poly, since I noticed there aren’t too many of these in here. Maybe I’ll put it in CivFan later. As far as dialogue goes, I know that it was sorely lacking early on, but I’m continually trying to add more and will, as the story continues. The casualty reports is something I must have, but I think your advice of introducing the document is very good.

In conclusion, I appreciate your help and criticism. I’ll try to improve on the dialogue and grammar. However, when it comes to the dates, IBT and casualty reports, I will make those changes in a next story. I think if I change now in the middle of La Grande Nation it’s going to suck big time. BTW, whatever happens in this story, it is absolutely what is going on in the game, whether I win or get straight up blasted, you all will read about it.

Anyway my Mem. weekend got off to a good start as I’m currently typing this with a big-time hangover. I’ll continue when the partying stops. Merci beaucoup, à bientôt!