The Tullamore Dew - a gamers tavern

[Paddy]

Originally posted by Masuro
The BEER, mate, the BEER!!

your requests have been added to the order lists

/me passes another jug of iced cold Aussie beer over

here keep enjoying these till your order arrives

[Rommel2D]

Ah, a most enjoyable ale. Do you have anything in a dark/amber lager before weariness overtakes...?

[Beta]

Originally posted by Masuro
Somebody get that boy a tranquiliser.

Paddy - thanks for the beer. Great way to start the morning.

That and to catch up on a few overdue pbems.

[McMeadows]

Originally posted by Paddy the Scot
Suzette, have a large jug of milk kept on ice for the next time you see that mad Dutchie charge in here...

Remember lass, as far as he is concerned... if it ain't dutch, it ain't much so make sure it's good old fashion farm milk from the lands of his home... I am sure William will have plenty in the kitchens...

Also when you see this fast moving Dutchie... let him know we will order in his yogo drinks

* McMeadows storms in

MIL.... aahhhhh,
* McMeadows puts the jug to his mouth and empties it to the last drop, has a look around and sits down next to the one that enjoyed some milk as well...

How're you going...?

edit: with kind acknowledgements to Aqua, who should however not disturb me while talking to a lady.

[Aqualung71]

Originally posted by McMeadows
* McMeadows puts the jug to his mouths and empties it to the last drop, has a look around and sits down next to the one that enjoyed some milk as well...

McMeadows, how many mouths do you have?

Ah anyway, I can see you're a real slut

Give me her phone number please

[Andydog]

I'd guess he has three mouths - the two he mentioned he drank the milk with, and the other he snogged that chick with. The reason she is looking so surprised with milky lips is that Fatwreck's 3rd mouth was full of milk at the time

That's an interesting tale there Paddy about the car. A cop on my cricket team told me about a time he pulled up this old lady who was driving a fairly big car. She'd been speeding really badly but the thing that led to her arrest was the smell that engulfed the cop when the old lady first wound down her window. Apparently the car reaked cat sh!t. Turns out this old lady kept 5 cats in the car, and although they had a sand box, these cats were so scared of her driving that they shat themselves while scrambling about in panic. Hence the stink.

That's a true story btw.

cheers everyone!

[Beta]

McMeadows. Tastefully done.

[Rommel2D]

It takes a while to notice the moustache...

On another note, I'm afraid we've let a the entire day pass without wishing our patron a happy Saint Paddy's Day... pour yerself one and spread a bit o' blarney, mate!

[Paddy]

thanks lads

a double Glen Morrangie thanks Sasha

* Sasha pours a double and hands it over

"there ya go boss"

thanks lass

ahhh a joke then...



Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, the fourth was a government worker.


To show off, the engineer called to his dog. "T-square, do your stuff." T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty impressive.

Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your dog do? "

The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff. Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shat on the paper, had his way with the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!

They all agreed, that was just brilliant!

[McMeadows]

* McMeadows waves a hand ...

More milk to this corner please..!!

[marcuspeddle]

Somebody get that boy a cow.

[Andydog]

Here is a story that floated about on the emails for a while. I found it hightly amusing!


Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me. As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember.. The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent..

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss. Happy Birthday". And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom."
"Sure!" I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there...
on the couch...
naked.

[Paddy]

[Mickeyj]

*Mickeyj ambles along looking for quiet lager or two an stumbles apon The Tullamore Dew*

Good spot you've established here Paddy, and I'm glad to see you're stocking Castle. I'll take two, one to quench the thirst and the other to savour.

[Rubychaser]

a beer and two meat pies thanks mate