Real men can handle getting their tanked smashed by a warrior

[Dis]

I think some of you guys need to go back to pokeman games or Barney.

Civ3 is for real men (and with certain exceptions real women )

In fact, I want more of my tanks to be beaten by warriors and longbowman. This game is just not challenging enough. I'm going to fix it so a tank loses every battle it goes into. Tanks were really not that good in history anyways.

[Yolky]

and how many times do we watch those movies where the ground infantry or single people blow up tanks anyways. Just like it Saving Private Ryan some of the men were able to destroy or disable the tanks, so it is plausible that it can happen.

Remeber we dont know how long the battles take place. In game turns its a year so if the tank runs out of emmo the ground infantry or swordsmen can take thier time in making hole traps in the ground and sinking the tanks.

Thats my explantaion for now.

Davor

[Bad Ax]

And some day, Dissident, if you wish hard enough for it, you *can* become a real man.

Instead of just a troll.

[adaMada]

, I think the thread title is hillarious!!!!

-- adaMada

[Green Giant]

If warriors defeated tanks as much as you wish they did the pessimists would actually have a leg to stand on. Unfortunately it is quite rare.

[felder]

Last night Dissident became a man.

Originally posted by Dissident
I have noticed that you have to do several things different to change the seeding. just moving units out of order hasn't worked for me. I get the same result (yes I refuse to lose calvary to a spearman on flat ground- so I reload only if he dies- usually they retreat which is good).

I find the above quote from Dissident to be quite interesting. It can be located in the following thread.

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=36852

Man indeed. Hubba Hubba

[HalfLotus]

Real men change the stats to their liking with the editor.

[Teeba]

I don't have any problem with warriors killin' tanks - it's realistic. Matter of fact, lemme tell y'all a short tale to back up my arguement.


One day, not long ago, I woke up to the sound of my dog pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed. Groggily, still not quite awake from my long, Civ induced slumber I opened the back door and went to make some coffee. Not 20 seconds later the dog came tearing back inside almost knocking a freshly opened can of Folders out of my hands. Quickly, I stumbled over to the back door to see what had scared him. The sight that awaited me was like something out of a war movie. "Red Dawn," perhaps. That's right... tanks, and not just one, in my own backyard.

"Hey," I shouted, "what's going on out here?"

One of the top hatches opened and a man's face rose out of it, he started saying stuff like: "All your base are belong to us," and "You have no chance to survive, make your time."

"Hmm, must be a bad Japanese translation," I thought to myself. "But why would translators wanna invade my backyard?"

These thoughts were quickly shoved aside as one of the turrets started turning to aim it's deadly cannon at me. With agility and speed I never suspected I possessed, I quickly covered the ten paces between my back door and the shed. I dove for cover behind some old clay pots and gardening tools just as the shell that would've taken my life went through the back door and destroyed the front of the house.

Knowing I had to buy some time, hoping for an air strike, or a SEAL team or any damn thing I tried to talk my way out of it.

"Hey, buddy, whatcha wanna blow me up for anyways?" I yelled hopefully.
"What you say," was the reply came to me over the roar of the the tanks turning towards my inadequate cover.
"I SAID, HEY, BUDDY, WHATCHA WANNA BL--" I screamed, before I was cut off by the tank-man speaking again, this time with a megaphone.
"SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB." The amplified words rumbled across my flowerbed to me, and indeed, probably the whole neighborhood.

That sounded ominous. I knew I needed a daring plan if I were to survive. Suddenly, and just before the tanks were ready to fire (they weren't considering me a serious threat, therefore they were moving pretty casually. I mean, what man could take out a group of tanks - the very thought is laughable, but I digress.) A brilliant plan came to me. Victory was almost guaranteed... because, you see...
I was still holding the can opener I had used on the coffee.

Knowing I needed a good battle cry for future generations to remember along with my heroic act of bravery, I yelled, laughing manically, "Hey, beeeyyyotch, how long you stay fresh in those cans?" Okay, so it isn't up there with "We shall never surrender nor retreat," but it was the best I could come up with on short notice.

Obviously, you can make out what happened next, just from the very fact that I'm here telling you about this. I need not go into the details of the battle, but lest you think it was an easy fight, I will say that after the 6th or 7th tank, my can opener broke and I had to use my garden spade to both bludgeon the tank-men AND peel open the tanks.

Men against tanks isn't really a fair fight in the game, but I hope that whenever somebody feels the need to speak out against the combat system they will remember this story....

[Akka]

Originally posted by Teeba
I don't have any problem with warriors killin' tanks - it's realistic. Matter of fact, lemme tell y'all a short tale to back up my arguement.


One day, not long ago, I woke up to the sound of my dog pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed. Groggily, still not quite awake from my long, Civ induced slumber I opened the back door and went to make some coffee. Not 20 seconds later the dog came tearing back inside almost knocking a freshly opened can of Folders out of my hands. Quickly, I stumbled over to the back door to see what had scared him. The sight that awaited me was like something out of a war movie. "Red Dawn," perhaps. That's right... tanks, and not just one, in my own backyard.

"Hey," I shouted, "what's going on out here?"

One of the top hatches opened and a man's face rose out of it, he started saying stuff like: "All your base are belong to us," and "You have no chance to survive, make your time."

"Hmm, must be a bad Japanese translation," I thought to myself. "But why would translators wanna invade my backyard?"

These thoughts were quickly shoved aside as one of the turrets started turning to aim it's deadly cannon at me. With agility and speed I never suspected I possessed, I quickly covered the ten paces between my back door and the shed. I dove for cover behind some old clay pots and gardening tools just as the shell that would've taken my life went through the back door and destroyed the front of the house.

Knowing I had to buy some time, hoping for an air strike, or a SEAL team or any damn thing I tried to talk my way out of it.

"Hey, buddy, whatcha wanna blow me up for anyways?" I yelled hopefully.
"What you say," was the reply came to me over the roar of the the tanks turning towards my inadequate cover.
"I SAID, HEY, BUDDY, WHATCHA WANNA BL--" I screamed, before I was cut off by the tank-man speaking again, this time with a megaphone.
"SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB." The amplified words rumbled across my flowerbed to me, and indeed, probably the whole neighborhood.

That sounded ominous. I knew I needed a daring plan if I were to survive. Suddenly, and just before the tanks were ready to fire (they weren't considering me a serious threat, therefore they were moving pretty casually. I mean, what man could take out a group of tanks - the very thought is laughable, but I digress.) A brilliant plan came to me. Victory was almost guaranteed... because, you see...
I was still holding the can opener I had used on the coffee.

Knowing I needed a good battle cry for future generations to remember along with my heroic act of bravery, I yelled, laughing manically, "Hey, beeeyyyotch, how long you stay fresh in those cans?" Okay, so it isn't up there with "We shall never surrender nor retreat," but it was the best I could come up with on short notice.

Obviously, you can make out what happened next, just from the very fact that I'm here telling you about this. I need not go into the details of the battle, but lest you think it was an easy fight, I will say that after the 6th or 7th tank, my can opener broke and I had to use my garden spade to both bludgeon the tank-men AND peel open the tanks.

Men against tanks isn't really a fair fight in the game, but I hope that whenever somebody feels the need to speak out against the combat system they will remember this story....

[N. Machiavelli]

Originally posted by Teeba
you see...
I was still holding the can opener I had used on the coffee.

Can opener? Oh ok, so these were Soviet tanks then. Seriously though, that was funny scheiss. Remind me to tell you guys of the time where I destroyed a Chinese battleship with a bronze javelin.

[narmox]

Teeba that was just HILARIOUS! Thanks for making me laugh and making my dad look at me like I was insane :goodjob:

[Fidel]

well playing for 6 weeks already and i still did not witness a single tank losing to a phalanx or a warrior. so is that called 'urban myth' or is my randomizer screwed?

[Grumbold]

Originally posted by LaRusso
well playing for 6 weeks already and i still did not witness a single tank losing to a phalanx or a warrior. so is that called 'urban myth' or is my randomizer screwed?

You and I must have the pre-release press beta copy before the kombat-nerfer technology was plugged in. I've never lost a tank to anything less than a fortified pikeman in a hilltop city. Take tanks into rugged terrain or narrow streets and you deserve to lose some.

[Code Monkey]

Originally posted by Grumbold


You and I must have the pre-release press beta copy before the kombat-nerfer technology was plugged in. I've never lost a tank to anything less than a fortified pikeman in a hilltop city. Take tanks into rugged terrain or narrow streets and you deserve to lose some.

I finally had a unrealistic result yesterday where a tank went down to a defending hoplite. All I could say was "Go Hoplite! You da man! "

But, while he'd gotten in a lucky shot, my next tank ran him over very nicely and produced a leader as consolation prize for me.

One quirky and entertaining result out of probably a hundred hours of game time, this is acceptable.

[rah]

It's so refreshing to see a positive (and humorous) thread in the general forum, so I thought I'd add to it.

1. I have also not seen a high frequency of tank loses to warrior battle. When I do, I think of a potential Monty Python script. A warrior jams a rock in the tanks thread stopping the tank. One by one the tank crew comes out to check to see what the problem is and are so surprised to see a man covering in fur that he's shocked when the wooden stick is rammed into his chest.

But back to reality, I have no problem with it at all. This is not CIVII where 5 tanks could conquer an entire civ in a couple of turns. If your stratagy can totally unravel because you lose a tank, then it wasn't much of a stratagy. Just like in real life, it's always best to attack with OVERWHELMING force.

2. Think back, how many of you can remember the SUPER BARBARIAN. I was playing an MP game the other night and A barb chariot was approaching one of my cities. It was only a size two city since it had just kicked out a settler. I had a vet archer and a vet phalanx forified in the city (Forest city). I also had a horseman in the city, the city was building a phalanx the next turn. The chariot marched up to the city on a mountain square and had the king with him. Not being concerned I marched the horse out of the city to capture the king when the chariot would lose and I'd get the 150 gold. I figured even if the chariot won, I would still be building a phalanx no problem. Lo and behold, the chariot takes out the phalanx without taking any damage and uses it's second movement point to take out the archer. City is destroyed so the horse, which was attached also dissappears.
After the surpise sinks in, I sent out some vet legions which the super barb quickly dispatched despite the legions being on mountains or hills. The chariot was finally in the red and moving towards my cap and started pillaging. By the time I killed it, the super barb had taken out over 10 units. I normally would have found this real humorous, but it was an MP game and that little sucker cost me quite a few resources. (and of course the king dissappeared right before I would have grabbed him)

3. REAL MEN DON"T RESET WHEN THEY LOSE A BATTLE.
I mean really, most of the people that are complaining about unrealistic combats, talk about resetting in the next sentence. Hmmmm, how realistic is that, "I didn't like that the outcome of that battle, let's reset and do the combats in another order so I win this time." Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Thanks for the posts that added humor to my morning.

RAH