Civ 3 poetry

[MisterMuppet]

There once was a Persian, Xerxes.
Foreign lands his armies would seize.
With immortals not swordsmen,
He conquered all Babylon.
Until there were no more enemies.

[MisterMuppet]

There once was a Roman, Caesar.
Whose empire stretched to Persia.
His roads were all straight,
Which is handy of late.
As I travel to Segedunum by car.

[MisterMuppet]

There once was a chairman called Mao.
Who was popular in China somehow.
It wasn’t his looks,
Or little red books,
It must have been his Chicken Kung Pao.

[MisterMuppet]

There once was developer named Sid.
As fans we bought whatever he did.
What’s next from the master,
SimGolf, it’s a disaster !
Now even the Fanboyz are morbid

[hetairoi22]

I started my first game om Civ 3
I didst to know how't was gonna be,
I played and I saw that my only chance to win
was through a cult'ral victory.

I played some more, and lo
I still haven't finished that game, so
I'm playing on and on, but no time I've got
If I some more I will get shot.

[Thomas Paine]

I once had eighty-three tanks,
from which my victors gave thanks.
But by 1954,
It had become quite a chore
To move each one from the ranks.

[Thomas Paine]

There once was a Hindu named Gandhi,
who (in this game) was quite randy.
I sold him a tech,
with little regret,
For the price of a whore and some brandy.

[Thomas Paine]

The Persians invaded,
but the Japs had negated,
all their gains with a shogun's sword.

The Immortals, once fierce,
Now vigorously pierced,
Ran fleeing from the Japanese horde.

As for me, I just laughed
while the Persians ran past
my open and defenseless borders.
For it was Zulu gold
that made the Japs bold.
While my Leader gave all of the orders!

[AlrightyThen]

And Lo! burst forth a horde of Impis,
Upon the Indians, who were a bit wimpy.
At the final hour to Gandhi's aid came Lincoln,
But he demanded wine so he could continue drinkin'.

[AlrightyThen]

There once was a Cossack leader named Catherine,
Who against the Germans sent her sabres rattlin'.
But she had a doubt, so she pulled them back,
So she could use those horses in the sack.

[AlrightyThen]

Civ3, Civ3, its been 12 hours I've got to pee.
The Romans are furious', the Zules are annoyed.
Is the pressure in my bowels a ploy?
For if I leave my warm seat, surely a dire fate I will meet.
Damn my enemies to hell where is the bathroom?
If I don't go now, I'll need new Fruit of the Looms.

[AlrightyThen]

An Aztec there was, whose name was unpronounceable,
But apparenly he decided my nation was pounceable.
So upon my poor cities he did descend,
And my valiant warriors did defend,
But to the surprise of us both, with a crack of thunder,
The American F15's sent us all under.

[Colonel Kraken]

Great work, everyone! Especially MisterMuppet and Thomas Paine . . .

After the drudgery of some of the threads here, this is a nice relief. Keep up the good work!

Who says poetry is for homos . . . ?! It's called culture . . . and humor.

[Travathian]

How many culture points per day am I getting for starting this thread?

[Colonel Kraken]

Originally posted by Travathian
How many culture points per day am I getting for starting this thread?

Nice . . . .