Waterfall Diving Festival Thread

[mrmitchell]

HOLY ****!!! 900,000! I only had about 50!!!



Well...I'll take between 200,000 and 400,000. On the upper end. We can work it out. That is, if I decide to sell it. Just going for highest bidder here, if I sell it. Any bids?

[History Guy]

Heh heh. I told you that I would make a rich man of you yet. I'll settle for 350,000 bones. Is that enough, or must I up the price a bit more?

[Togas]

Please.

Toss this man into the waterfall again.

This time, throw him in backwards and take him directly from his cell (so that he won't have a chance to sneak in the sheild, and will lose his bonus).

--Togas

[History Guy]

[grabs dancing midget servant along as a bonus in a bid for survival...]

[History Guy]

When will we be ready to hurl in father, O Great Despot? And wait! How did you see his board when no one else could? This must be a sign of his all knowing power! Is the High Priest around so that he can personally witness my father's death...or miraculous survival?

[History Guy]

...Just waiting...Whenever you guys are ready...Waiting...

[History Guy]

[ooc] Ah well. Fact is I can't stick around this evening. [/ooc]

[GeneralTacticus]

When will we be ready to hurl in father, O Great Despot? And wait! How did you see his board when no one else could? This must be a sign of his all knowing power! Is the High Priest around so that he can personally witness my father's death...or miraculous survival?

Yes. In you go, Hernan, whether you're her eor not.

* SPLASH *

Funny, that... he survived more easily without his board than with it.

[Togas]

Funny indeed.

Senor Calamari the older has survived three trips down the waterfall. We shall remember his bravery and good fortune, but we shall also remember the act that caused him to take these trips.

Tonight the chef will be thrown in, Senor Calamari is spared.

Tomorrow night, if the festival continued, the elder Winter shall voluntarily take the plunge.

Senor Calamari shall be set free and allowed to visit with his family and friends until the end of the festival. At that time, he shall cross the river to the south of Madrid and never enter the city again until after his death.

One more thing: No man shall throw another man or his belonging into the water. Should he do so, he will be thrown in seven times.

Once a year, at a time of the High Priest's choosing, we shall again hold this festival. If there are no prisoners to be punished by waterfall diving, those who wish to show their courage or devotion may voluntarily throw themselves down the falls. Each man must state his reason why before taking such a fateful plunge. Each will be honored accordingly.

--Togas

[History Guy]

Senors, I am glad, but at the same time filled with sorrow. My father was proved to be a good Spaniard and one who held true to his religion, never praying to evil spirits.

And yet, my father, Senor Calamari, is dying. He has not yet left the city, and his heart is failing fast, with disease brought on from his broken body's wounds in the falls and in war. He shall not live too much longer. To tell the truth, his heart is broken from being forced to leave his people, for he has never loved anything from Madrid. He is dying, and I fear that he will not live to see his name fully vindicated. I am too sorrowed to speak of it.

Hernan de History Guy Calamari the Younger

[pikesfan]

What happened to the cook? Did he drown? Will my uncle be avenged?

Jordí Pikesfan

[Arnelos]

[OOC]

This waterfall ritual is going to be an excellent inspiration for a roller coaster/waterrides theme park in our civilization's future...

The Main Attraction: "Calamari's Plunge"!!!

[Togas]

It is clear that our High Priest has been distracted with the purification of jdjdjd, the former town drunk.

So that the Festival is not put on hold, I will personally see to it that the lousey chef is tossed into the roaring rapids!

Sons! Grab the bum and toss him in!

Four hearty boys drag out the chef, still wearing his messy white chef's robe. He protests and struggles a little as he is picked up by his arms and legs and TOSSED head first into the cold, frothy waters.

He makes a quick trip through the rapids, knocking against a few rocks and large branches before being rushed to the edge of the falls and rapidly flug down in the white foam and mist, his body nearly unrecognizable in the large shower.

The gathered crowd errupts in a roar of chears!

[a die is thrown...]

Somewhere at the base of the falls, where the sound of the rushing waves drowns out all other noices, the pants of the chef surface ... yet his head, limbs, or body does not. Some of the warriors poke and prod at the waves and debris that lie in swirling pools and eddies below the falls, but nothing appears.

(Days later, a group of hunters down the river find the remains of the battered and beaten body of the chef.)

It seems as though the spirits have spoken. The one responsible has suffered and died. The Waterfall Festival ends tonight, but let us first finish this evening with food, dance, and song. I ask that the Tamale family start up another rousing tune, that all of the remaining beef be cooked, and that the festival last until mid-night. Tomorrow evening we will have a sober remembrance for the one who was lost, Senor Pikesfan.

--Togas

[Nuclear Winter]

Before I´m thrown, I must tell that my friend Hernan de Calamari is dying and that he told me a secret. A secret that was revealed to him by inspiration of the highest spirits. He has asked us to keep this recorded in stone, and stored in my family´s treasury, only to be read at a given date I must not reveal now.
*cough, cough* The lost of a son, and the slow passing of a friend is too much to endure... *falls to the ground, soon to be aided by his son, polaris* my heart.... I... tell Winterius II to keep ... our family´s... business...
Adios .
[Polaris Winterius] My father is dead! Ohhh! I canot bear this! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Aid! Aid! HE cannot die !!!!! HE CANNOT DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Nuclearis Winterius II soon aproaches and sits nearby on the ground, sad, but calm*
[Nuclearis Winterius II] Don´t be so angry Polaris, he was old, and he has been sufering a lot in this times...
Let us arrange his funeral.

[History Guy]

Nuclearius Winterius' death is, like the death I now have to report, a national tragedy. They will be mourned for all ages. They were both great heroes for Spain, and they symbolize Spanish loyalty, I believe.

The fact is, my father, Hernan de History Guy Calamari the Elder, passed away this morning from the after effects of his experiences and mostly, because of the fact that his heart had been broken by being exiled. He died unnecessarily, and his loyalty to his mother country shall always be remembered. His tomb is being prepared, and his secrets are being carved into stone, to be hidden until the time he said to reveal them, far in the future. The secrets may change Spain forever.

These two tragedies must be overcomed by our mourning civilization. The people are not happy with the death of Hernan, and inwardly and outwardly they suffer. However, they shall soon see the realization of his people's dream, I am sure, as Togas leads us onward to great glory for Hispania.

Hernan de History Guy Calamari II
Squid Baron