The OFFICIAL Declaration of War Thread

[GhengisFarbâ„¢]

This is it. This is to allow us to make and edit the post that will start the Declaration of War Thread where Roleplay comes screaming back to the reality that NONE OF THE OTHER TEAMS LIKE THEM.

Poor babies.



Will link to a healine graphic that I will post on my website. something to the effect "World Economy Collapses!"

I figure we build up to it, first post talks about World Economy collapsing, Great Depression hits Vox due war debt reparations. Vox blames all ills on Roleplay for not showing up to support them.
(Betahound?)

Old Luxian refugees lament how the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Roleplay ditched them when the going got rough and then did the same to Vox.
(Calc II aka Zero?)

ND talks of how Roleplay offered them crappy deals, treated them like subhuman garbage.
(Borc/Darekill)

GoW finds it warmongerness. Realize we must go back to the "old ways" of bashing heads and drinking alcohol from their hollowed out skulls. Wake up to the realization that Roleplay is pure evil incarnate. At which point we post my musings from this forum:


ACTUAL POST FROM THE GOW FORUMS:

Originally posted by GhengisFarb
GhengisFarb's Top Ten Reasons to Kick the Role out of Roleplay.

10) They don't shower and stink up the whole continent.

9) The whole "we claim this entire half of the continent and you have to share the smaller half with the other two northern civs" fiasco.

8) They publicly chastised us for intimidating Vox to back off Bob, when they did the EXACT same thing to us, ND, and Lux.

7) They are hogging 75% of the entire world's supply of luxuries.

6) We're "Agents of Chaos" and this Spanish Inquistion crap seems a tad to orderly.

5) There's a least one lawyer on their team, need we say more?

4) ND can offer us German Beer, Roleplay can offer us squid, no contest.

3) They promised military support to Lux and Vox and left both hanging high and dry.

2) They weasel, lie, manipulate, and plot against all civs and are pure evil incarnate. My bad, I see I already covered the lawyer bit.

AND FINALLY GHENGISFARB's NUMBER ONE REASON TO WIPE OUT ROLEPLAY....

1) Almost every member of the Sunshine Team is on the Roleplay team and I want to kick some Hippie-Nazi a$$.

(Alternate #1 for those who don't share my hatred of the Sunshine Team: "We ain't called the GLORY OF WAR for nothing.")

Let's get working on this, I think this has a lot of propogandic potential.

[Master Zen]

I was actually thinking of writing a "Romantic DTragedy" between me an Togas' daughter (which was offered in their last deal), perhaps this story could be linked to the official declaration of war, and some of UnO's Trappings stories...

I'll start getting poetic in a few hours...

[GhengisFarbâ„¢]

Originally posted by Master Zen
I was actually thinking of writing a "Romantic DTragedy" between me an Togas' daughter (which was offered in their last deal), perhaps this story could be linked to the official declaration of war, and some of UnO's Trappings stories...

I'll start getting poetic in a few hours...

Throw it in here, we'll organize and compile the whole lot into one Glorious Declaration of War.

THE GLORY OF WAR TOP TEN LIST:
(Not to be confused with GhengisFarb's List which does not necessarily express the opinions of GoW)

UnOrthOdOx recognizes a number of DIA members on the Roleplay team and thinks it's time for the Hawks to teach them a thing or two.

RP members are discourteous of other's threads and the agreed rules by which they were made, unable to refrain from polluting even the fun threads such as S.P.I.N. with their mindless drivel

Marisa Sophia Togas, sent in an offer of marriage to Panzer, was nothing other than a common whore sent to spread disease throughout the GoW government.
Are we calling Togas a common whore here? I realize he's a lawyer but there are few "technical" differences between a lawyer and a common whore. None of them come to mind off the top of my head though.....

With the death of Aidun I, it is our duty to ensure The Spanish Inquisition reaches new heights.

My version: On his death bed pope Aidun I officially charged the powers of the Spanish Inquisition to the Glory of War and we're ready to "interrogate".

Is GhengisFarb the only person who thinks "GoW" sounds like a World Wrestling Federation gang and wonders when he's going to get "bodyslammed"?

Illiterate Roleplayers can't even spell "Dtrategy" right.

[Hot_Enamel]

Can we sneak in the real reason...

We have been planning this since 3000bc when they treated us like crap and demanded our exploring warriors leave unclaimed land...and then refused to trade tech with us until we left.

It was then that we aligned with ND with the goal of eliminating RP.

[Jon Shafer]

Originally posted by Hot_Enamel
Can we sneak in the real reason...

We have been planning this since 3000bc when they treated us like crap and demanded our exploring warriors leave unclaimed land...and then refused to trade tech with us until we left.

It was then that we aligned with ND with the goal of eliminating RP.

I think that one definitely tops the cake.

[Panzer32]

No, we can't say that we have been planning this for a while because we have told a bunch of other teams we just set this up

[Master Zen]

plus we don't want to imply we've been allied with ND all this time...

[Hot_Enamel]

It will be one of 20 different reasons.
We dont have to say its the real reason... just one of the reasons we took into consideration.

Let GF include it in his comedy act... no one will think it's actually true except us & the eye

{edit} - And stop rolling your eyes at me

[Panzer32]

by the way guys... turn sent to RP

it might be best if youre not caught in chat tonight, unless you want to do some serious explaining

[Panzer32]

The Glory of News
Volume IV, Wilderness Edition

Glory of War puts the 'war' back in warmongering

In an unprecidented declaration yesterday, the Glory of War emperor Panzer32 said these things:

Translated from D-case
It is with a heavy heart that I tell you that the nations of the Glory of War and Espania are in a state of war.

After the crowd was stunned that Panzer had actually spoken, they took the message in. Soon, the crowd had grown into a mob, and were clubbing each other over the head with various blunt objects such as axes and spears. Although it isn't clear whether this was an act of support for the government's decision or an attempted mass suicide before the Roleplay army came, it is clear that the nation of the Glory of War is in a buzz over this news.

Citizen speaks out
One citizen, a descendant of the one great Farbial dynasty, completely supports this move. He was even so kind as to grant the Glory of News a list of why he supports this action:

GhengisFarb's Top Ten Reasons to Kick the Role out of Roleplay.

10) They don't shower and stink up the whole continent.

9) The whole "we claim this entire half of the continent and you have to share the smaller half with the other two northern civs" fiasco.

8) They publicly chastised us for intimidating Vox to back off Bob, when they did the EXACT same thing to us, ND, and Lux.

7) They are hogging 75% of the entire world's supply of luxuries.

6) We're Agents of Chaos and this Spanish Inquistion crap seems a tad to orderly.

5) There's a least one lawyer on their team, need we say more?

4) ND can offer us German Beer, Roleplay can offer us squid, no contest.

3) They promised military support to Lux and Vox and left both hanging high and dry.

2) They weasel, lie, manipulate, and plot against all civs and are pure evil incarnate. My bad, I see I already covered the lawyer bit.

AND FINALLY GHENGISFARB's NUMBER ONE REASON TO WIPE OUT ROLEPLAY....

1) Almost every member of the Sunshine Team is on the Roleplay team and I want to kick some Hippie-Nazi a$$.

Interview with the Emperor
After his stunning announcement yesterday, we sat down with Panzer32, Glorious Emperor of the Glory of War:

Glory of News: Great Panzer, I am baffled about your reasons for this announcement! Can you tell our readers what led to this declaration?

Panzer32: Well Bob, I can't go into a whole lot of detail on this, or the civil servants would have to kill me. But I can say that our two diplomatic styles do not match. This makes conflict inevitable sometime down the road.

GoN: I can't help noticing that this announcement was very sudden; what caused this?

P32: Everyone, besides you apparently, knows that it is bad military strategy to say you are going to declare war months before you are ready to attack. It makes for a "not good war" to use the technical term.

GoN: uh... what is that siren?

P32: Its an arrow roleplaying itself as a cruise missile! Head to the bunker; it might have dangerous squid ink in it!

GoN: You heard it here first, folks! The Roleplay team is sending their SqCUiD missiles at the target of oppertunity of Panzer32's secret press conference room!

P32: Get under the table you idiot!

GoN: hey! Those are birds not SqCUiDs!!

P32: Just precautionary.

Blockhead Security Agent: Panzer32, it is not safe for you to be here! You must flee the city and hide in the secret caves of Concord!

GoN: *whistles

BSA: Hey, are you recording!! Hey!!! Get out of here!!....

When I regained consciousness, I found myself in the forests of skulgaria... no idea why. If this news report comes a little late into main HQ in Imperial City, you'll know why... the postal service from Skulgaria to the Core in atrocious!!

-Glory of News reporter Bob, signing off.

PS - why am I chaned to a skull??


[edit]UnO- I was going to fix some spelling, but decided it was better to leave it.

[Master Zen]

Master Zen makes a claim upon the Throne of Spain

Grand Chancellor Master Zen, Consul of Foreign Affairs of the Glory of War has accompanied his nation's declaration of war with a claim upon the Throne of Spain.

In what has become a pastime of his during the last couple of years, Master Zen has been tracing his lineage as far back as possible. For those who don't remember, Master Zen came as an unknown, apparently a lost son of the mountains and seas when his clan arrived at the shores of Zenophobia many years before. However, it was quite easy to figure out that he did not look like the average Warmonger, and resembled more the latin blood of the Spaniard.

It was found out recently by the Warmongerian Heritage Society, a non-profit organization dedicated to the tracing of lineages back to our savage caveman and barbarian past, that in fact, Master Zen is a direct decendant of an ancient tribe of Spaniards who many years ago competed for the throne of Spain. It was, however, the House of Togas, which emerged as leaders of that nation, and their blood-line has been unchallanged as the rightful royal family of Spain.

Until now. Master Zen has vowed to restore the throne of Spain to it's rightful owner, the House of Zen, as well as claim for himself the hand of Marisa Sophia Togas, daughter of the King, and who he has already bonked a couple of times in the Royal Hotel of Pamplona during his days as Ambassador.

Long live the rightful King of Spain!

[Panzer32]

So whoever sees that RP has sent the turn on, just copy that onto one post on the main forum. Juat make its title be "The Glory of News, Volume IV"

[Hot_Enamel]

Can we claim the Spanish activly promote and participate in unnatural acts...

Then post the famous Aro picture of MWIA.

Better still...can we replace the sheep with a squid ?

[GhengisFarbâ„¢]

Originally posted by Hot_Enamel
Can we claim the Spanish activly promote and participate in unnatural acts...

Then post the famous Aro picture of MWIA.

Better still...can we replace the sheep with a squid ?

HeHeHe I like that idea.

[UnOrthOdOx]

Here's the raw image, GF. Fix the flag while your at it. (no big star near his head)