First Contact

[ManicStarSeed]

BTW is someone messing with us? I see a vote for a block, but no post explaining why?

If you think this diplomatic mission is a bad idea, tell us why?

Mss

[Dominae]

I think we should send this document out ASAP. So, I'll gladly touch up your original post with our changes and send it off to the Voxians. Anything in particular I should be focusing on, or that I may easily forget?


Dominae

[ManicStarSeed]

Dominae:

Go for it. The help is appreciated, I would follow nbclays comments they seam to temper the tone and hold us to the straight and narrow. I have some revised comments after the first few posts. If you can pull it together, that would be great. Also open up the letter with a bit of cordial sm,all talk. it was pointed out that the barbarian bit is misleading, do we really want that? post the "final" here before you send it for final buy -off.

mss

[Dominae]

I'll have a draft ready within the hour (I only start school again on Monday...lots of free time).


Dominae

[Dominae]

Below is a copy of the version I just came up with. I've tried to keep the same tone as Manic's orignial message. The only major addition is a "explanation" sentences after each proposal providing the (usually obvious) reasoning behind our offers. What do you think?

Edit: Incorporated alva's suggestion for the second paragraph.

Dominae


-----

Greetings again friend BetaHound and Vox Controli:

We hope your journey has been going well. Your warriors appear well-trained, well-fed and happy (not to mention quiet muscular!), so we can only assume your nation is at least as glorious as ours, if not more. We are therefore pleased to have contacted you at the beginning of this new era. Who knows what the future will hold? Let us become masters of our own fates and discuss our future relationship.

As an act of good faith, we ask that Vox Controli cease southern exploration for the duration of these negotiations; Gathering Storm will do the same in turn for the northern direction.

Gathering Storm has put together several proposals and we would appreciate your open consideration of them. Please feel free to counter-offer where you see fit. Our goal is to negotiate and make deals mutually beneficial. We will seriously consider any additional deal you bring to the table. The following is a list of our proposals:

1. Temporarily cease North/South exploration as described above. This act of good faith would be the basis for any future negotations.

2. Begin discussion of a potential tech-trading parternship between our two teams. Tech trading would effectively double our respective research rates, ensuring a tech advantage on the world scene.

3. Exchange information regarding luxuries each of us has discovered North and South of the isthmus (South for us, North for you). Connecting our empires and trading luxuries promises obvious economic advantages.

4. Simultaneously reveal to each other either: 1) whether or not we have contacted another team, or further 2) precisely which other team(s) we have already contacted. Our future plans depend critically on who our neighbors are, so obtaining this information early should prove useful to both of us.

5. Discuss what to do about the chokepoint/isthmus with regards to unit movement. The isthmus is clearly and important landmark, and reaching an understanding as to its use would reduce early tensions between our teams.


We hope to hear from you in the very near future; please contact us before your next turn, or before the next one at the latest. We apologize for requiring this deadline, but time is of the essence.


Sincerely,

ManicStarSeed and Gathering Storm

[alva]

Sounds good to me,

As an act of good faith, we are willing to cease northern exploration for the duration of these negotiations and ask Vox Controli to cease southward exploration for the same duration.

Could you just turn this around.
IE: if they stop going south, we will stop heading north..
(it's a power thing..)

[ManicStarSeed]

Looks good to me, I see that Dominae applied the change that alva suggested. I will send the document to BetaHound, Dissident and Eli unless someone posts here in the next 15 minutes with anything further to add/modiy or whatever...

Mss

[edit] some silly tag thing obliterated the original message..

[alva]

BTW: i just sent Dissident a PM asking him if he could check his box regularly..

[nbarclay]

Sounds good, but a couple little things:

In 5, "clearly and important landmark" should be "clearly an important landmark".

In the last paragraph, "before your next turn, or before the turn after that at the very latest" would sound better. Also, a better last sentence might be, "We apologize if requesting such a quick response causes any inconvenience, but time is of the essence." I really don't like the tone the terms "requiring" and "deadline" create.

Nathan

[Dominae]

Nathan's edits sound good. I believed I used the words 'require' and 'deadline' because I was cheesed that they have not contacted us yet...


Dominae

[ManicStarSeed]

Originally posted by Dominae

We hope to hear from you in the very near future; please contact us before your next turn, or before the next one at the latest. We apologize for requiring this deadline, but time is of the essence.

This is not right... what are we trying to say here, that we want a reply in on or two turns? I can fix this but need to know

[ManicStarSeed]

Made edits per nbarclays comments.

[Dominae]

We want them to acknowledge our message before they play their 2950BC turn. If we did not send our message in time, they should contact us before their next turn. That's what I meant to say.

Manic, will you do the most recent edits or should I?


Dominae

[ManicStarSeed]

BTW

I am a little "off-ed" as We did not even get a confimation message from BetaHound and I know he was online. In short, they played an entire turn without acknowledging we exist.

Mss

[ManicStarSeed]

Edis made and cross posting left and right