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  • #16
    Rough draft of revised Egyptian lyrics:

    My homeland, my homeland, my hallowed land,
    Only to you, is my due hearty banana at command,
    My homeland, my homeland, my hallowed land,
    Only to you is my due hearty banana at command,
    Mother of the great ancient banana,
    My sacred wish and holy demand,
    All should love, awe and cherish banana,
    Gracious is thy Banana to humanity,
    No evil hand can harm or do you wrong,
    So long as your free bananas are strong,
    My homeland, my homeland, my hallowed land,
    Only to you, is my due hearty banana at command.
    "Yay Apoc!!!!!!!" - bipolarbear
    "At least there were some thoughts went into Apocalypse." - Urban Ranger
    "Apocalype was a great game." - DrSpike
    "In Apoc, I had one soldier who lasted through the entire game... was pretty cool. I like apoc for that reason, the soldiers are a bit more 'personal'." - General Ludd

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Apocalypse
      Rough draft of revised Egyptian lyrics:

      My homeland, my homeland, my hallowed land,
      Only to you, is my due hearty banana at command,
      My homeland, my homeland, my hallowed land,
      Only to you is my due hearty banana at command,
      Mother of the great ancient banana,
      My sacred wish and holy demand,
      All should love, awe and cherish banana,
      Gracious is thy Banana to humanity,
      No evil hand can harm or do you wrong,
      So long as your free bananas are strong,
      My homeland, my homeland, my hallowed land,
      Only to you, is my due hearty banana at command.


      Love it.
      Eventis is the only refuge of the spammer. Join us now.
      Long live teh paranoia smiley!

      Comment


      • #18


        yeah! that's it
        I'm going to rub some stakes on my face and pour beer on my chest while I listen Guns'nRoses welcome to the jungle and watch porno. Lesbian porno.
        Supercitzen Pekka

        Comment


        • #19
          Here's another suggestion:
          (To the tune of Oh Canada)

          Oh, Ba-na-na!
          Our fruit and sacred sign!
          We bow to thee,
          so yellow and divine!

          From the jungle deep,
          We will one day sweep,
          And we'll spread across the land!
          From the mountain peaks,
          to the valleys deep,
          our culture will command!

          Oh, Ba-na-na ....

          (worth working on?)
          aka, Unique Unit
          Wielder of Weapons of Mass Distraction

          Comment


          • #20
            Anthem should be 'Sad but True' by Metallica. And before you scoff I say, Why not?

            Dave
            Si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses

            Comment


            • #21
              I love Apocalypse's lyrics !
              They must be chosen !
              FRANCE.

              Comment


              • #22
                Or try Jerusalem...by William Blake...if you are going to suggest something by that bunch of rock-heads, you might as well go for something with a tune or with words...
                Empire growing,
                Pleasures flowing,
                Fortune smiles and so should you.

                Comment


                • #23
                  "Albuqurque" by Al Yankovic.

                  Lyrics:

                  Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
                  You know the place
                  well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

                  Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
                  My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

                  Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
                  Every single mornin
                  It wa driving me crazy

                  I said to my mom
                  I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
                  And my dear, sweet mother
                  She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
                  And she leaned right down next to me
                  And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
                  And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
                  And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

                  That's when I swore that someday
                  Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
                  Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
                  And the towels are oh so fluffy
                  Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
                  And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel

                  Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

                  Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
                  Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
                  To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
                  I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
                  That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

                  Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque

                  Oh yeah
                  You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
                  And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
                  Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
                  And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
                  The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
                  And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
                  And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
                  And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
                  And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
                  Except for me
                  You know why?

                  'Cause I had my tray table up
                  And my seat back in the full upright position
                  Had my tray table up
                  And my seat back in the full upright position
                  Had my tray table up
                  And my seat back in the full upright position

                  Ah ha ha ha
                  Ah ha ha
                  Ahhhh

                  So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
                  I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
                  Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
                  And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
                  And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
                  But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
                  Where the towels are oh so fluffy
                  And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
                  It's OK, they're clean

                  Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
                  And I turned on the SpectraVision
                  And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
                  That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

                  Well now, who could that be?
                  I say "Who is it?"
                  No answer
                  "Who is it?"
                  There's no answer
                  "WHO IS IT?"
                  They're not sayin' anything

                  So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
                  It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
                  Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
                  So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
                  And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
                  "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
                  And he's like "Tough"
                  And I'm like "Give it"
                  And he's like "Make me"
                  And I'm like "'Kay"
                  So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
                  And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
                  And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
                  Yes indeed, you better believe it
                  And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
                  And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
                  And you know what it said?
                  I'll tell you what it said

                  It said
                  "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
                  "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
                  "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
                  "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

                  In Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque

                  Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
                  But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
                  I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
                  But first, I decided to buy some donuts

                  So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
                  And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
                  And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
                  I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
                  He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
                  I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
                  He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
                  I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
                  He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
                  I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
                  He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
                  I said "You got any apple fritters?"
                  He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
                  I said "You got any bear claws?"
                  He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
                  "No, we're outta bear claws"
                  I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
                  He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
                  I said "OK, I'll take that"

                  So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
                  And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
                  (rabid gnawing sounds)
                  Oh man, they were just going nuts
                  They were tearin' me apart
                  You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
                  I believe it went a little something like this . . .

                  Doh
                  Get 'em off me
                  Get 'em off me
                  Oh
                  No, get 'em off, get 'em off
                  Oh, oh God, oh God
                  Oh, get 'em off me
                  Oh, oh God
                  Ah, (more screaming)

                  I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
                  Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
                  Like a constipated weiner dog
                  And as luck wouls have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
                  Her name was Zelda
                  She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
                  I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
                  She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

                  That's when I knew it was true love
                  We were inseperable after that
                  Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
                  We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
                  The world was our burrito
                  So we got married and we bought us a house
                  And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
                  Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

                  But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
                  She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
                  I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
                  "I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
                  So we broke up and I never saw her again
                  But that's just the way things go

                  In Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque

                  Anyway, things really started lookin' upi for me
                  Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
                  That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
                  I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
                  Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
                  I was gettin' a lot of attitude

                  OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
                  Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
                  When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
                  So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
                  And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
                  "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

                  So I did

                  And then he gets all indignant on me
                  He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
                  Well, that's just great
                  How was I supposed to know that?
                  I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
                  Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
                  So what's he complaining about?

                  Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
                  This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bit in three days
                  Well, I knew what he meant
                  But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
                  And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
                  And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
                  But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
                  (screaming sounds)
                  You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
                  Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

                  Anyway, um, um, where was I?
                  Kinda lost my train of thought

                  Uh, well, uh, OK
                  Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
                  But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

                  I hate sauerkraut

                  That's all I'm really tryin' to say
                  And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
                  And find yourself in an existential quandry
                  Full of loathing and self-doubt
                  And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
                  At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
                  Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
                  There's still a little place called

                  Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque, Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque, Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque, Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque, Albuquerque

                  I said "A" (A)
                  "L" (L)
                  "B" (B)
                  "U" (U)
                  "querque" (querque)

                  Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
                  Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

                  Albuquerque

                  (belch)

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                  • #24
                    i didnt read all of that, , skywalker, but we could replace albuquerque with apolyton...maybe...

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      No, I suggested it just because it happens to be the most hilarious song in all of creation

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Hardly. The most hilarious song in history was Gilbert & Sullivan's 'Titwillow' from The Mikado.
                        Empire growing,
                        Pleasures flowing,
                        Fortune smiles and so should you.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          WAIT! HOLD THE PRESSES! I've got it! There can only be one national anthem for the civilization of APOLYTONIA! That anthem must be: 'DAY-O'! Yes...the Harry Belafonte song. Come Mr. Tally-man and all that. Heck, we gotta use it...it glorifies the banana!
                          Empire growing,
                          Pleasures flowing,
                          Fortune smiles and so should you.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by History Guy
                            WAIT! HOLD THE PRESSES! I've got it! There can only be one national anthem for the civilization of APOLYTONIA! That anthem must be: 'DAY-O'! Yes...the Harry Belafonte song. Come Mr. Tally-man and all that. Heck, we gotta use it...it glorifies the banana!
                            This is it, what other choice is there?

                            Unless we take God Bless America and change it Banana Bless Apolytonia.
                            Note: the Law Offices of jdjdjd are temporarily closed.
                            "Next time I say something like 'lets go to Bolivia', lets go to Bolivia"

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Day-O should be the official song...

                              Come, Mr. Tally-man, and tally me BANANAS!

                              Daylight come, and I want to go home...

                              Day-o! Me sing Daaaay-Ohhh!

                              Daylight came and I want to go home.

                              Six and Seven and Eight...BANANAS!

                              Daylight come and I want to go home.

                              Daylight come, and I want to goooooo.......hoooooooome!
                              I'm going to rub some stakes on my face and pour beer on my chest while I listen Guns'nRoses welcome to the jungle and watch porno. Lesbian porno.
                              Supercitzen Pekka

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                (wipes an imaginary tear from right eye) That was beautiful. A splendid rendition, sir. This great song must be our national anthem. There can be no other.
                                Empire growing,
                                Pleasures flowing,
                                Fortune smiles and so should you.

                                Comment

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