It's a Mad Mad Scxn Game!

[Straybow]

§†®ª¥ß°\/\/ slinks into retirement

1792 3000+ gold nearly everything that can be rushed to the last row is so rushed.
1794 Escape Dye to Teotihuacan 284g, D Vile Gems to Tenochtitlan 444g
–––– 2 Crucs pound Teoti garrisons but kill nothing; 1 Aztec Cat bites the dust
–––– 1 Chinese Caravel sunk
1796 Teotihuacan falls to our Crusaders; 651 gold was collected from the coffers
–––– of their corrupt officials; Caerphilly located W of Cork

1798 Leadership; Leo upgrades Crucs to Dragoons; only Atomic Theory available
–––– One Settlers killed outside Caerphilly, one Phalanx killed inside. Senate signs
–––– cease-fire with Aztecs (fine, we'll kill somebody else). Settlers improving tile
–––– near Canton wandered into our territory was eliminated; tile near Durance Vile
–––– mined to become Pheasant (yumyum!) Celt Trireme w/2 aboard sunk East of
–––– Khanbalyk

1800 Celt Horsemen land near Git's Whale & head towards Betwixt, bribed for 94g
–––– each (Leo will upgrade 'em); Caerphilly Riflemen finish off the last sliver of
–––– our Dragoon & 3 Dragoons die gloriously in futile assault; Aztec Frigate sails
–––– right up to Texcoco, 1 Cruiser in position to eliminate any hostiles
1802 Zulus want 500g, ha! Git's Port Silk to Bapedi 282g, Booboo Dye to Bap 234g
–––– Celt Settlers near Kells destroyed (Az Frigate dropped 2 Engrs off)

1804 Brits discover Atomic Theory, then Karl Marx starts writing a Manifesto
–––– Camelot Dye to Zimbabwe 296g, Betwixt Dye to Mpondo 288g, Git's Whale
–––– Silk to Zim 264g, Beachyfish Gems to Zim 444g (no demand for gems except
–––– Booboo after Camelot Dye demand changed ) Ex-horsemen Dragoons die
–––– assaulting Kells. Straybow realizes that Kells has walls. (D'oh!)
1806 Marx finished his work with the aid of all that bourgioise capitalist trade
–––– bonus (like all the Commies after him), now to Espionage; Celt Settlers and
–––– Horsemen blasted by Cruiser near Carmarthen

1808 Silk discovered beside Celtic Remnant; Vik Transport+3, Zulu Caravel sent to
–––– Davy Jones' locker; Adv Tribe Hampton near Zulu continent
1810 Military Intelligence section 5 established, scientists insist on studying cancer
–––– Our first Spy successfully sabotages the walls of Kells, the Celt capital! She
–––– sacrifices her life for the glory of Britain. One Celt Riflemen outside of the city
–––– succumbs to offshore bombardment, another within falls to the onslaught of
–––– 2 Dragoons (the second battered severely). Vik Destroyer sunk

1812 Surviving Dragoons take Kells! Celts ask to talk. Prime Minister Straybow sends
–––– them away, but the treacherous Senate grants them a cease-fire.
1814 Celtic Relic Silk to Intombe 456g! A round dozen food freight convoy to the UN
–––– site prepared in Abington. More Dragoons produced in anticipation of next Leo;
–––– Unrest threatens, lux bumped up a notch; Vikes and Mongols sign Karakorum
–––– Pact to limit us (haven't we seen that before?)

1816 Genetic Engr figgered out, on to Tactics UN complete
–––– Divine Wind Dye to Canton 272g, Kanbalyk Silk to Canton 282g;
–––– Zulu Transport+1 sunk; All other 1816 tweaking left to my successor.

To the east a transport is carrying 2 freight to Khanbalyk (demanded at Booboo), while some Dragoons and a Spy await pickup. On the West end of Britain a freight and Dragoons await a ship to somewhere useful. Unfortunately our transport is vulnerable, having no moves left after delivering freight. Further out you will see a ship loaded with Copper freight demanded by Vikes. Toward the far end of, ummm, Africa (?) is a ship with a single Dye freight headed for Mongolia.

I suppose we should amass strength now that the Senate wimps have signed away our casus belli on the Celts. Aztec cease-fire expires in 1818. We should have many more cities by now, which would greatly aid our need to spend all that lovely money on ships and horses and then support them without unrest. I got distracted draining swamps to make forests and such (reserve my quarters in Dogsbody or wherever we go).

I didn't do any rushing before the 3rd row and couldn't spend the money fast enough to keep ahead of trade revenue! Therefore it is up to you guys to spend the huge treasury on arms and send our enemies to the nether regions.

[Julius Brenzaida]

Well it's me who must play now
Wait a few days please as I've got "beaucoup de lait sur le feu", but I won't forget, don't worry
(I even remembered to play the Amnesic one )

[Straybow]

You've got a surly few what?

[Julius Brenzaida]

1816, Too bad we’re not allowed to bribe cities, we’re so rich. I’m going to build a few factories with the money. And it’s time for a new government if we want to conquer the world ...
1818, All hail comrade Julius, yes I’ve made the switch to communism. Declare war on almost everyone, killing some units in the process, especially with the Navy.
1820. We discover Tactics and Leo does his job. Time to attack now ... We capture Tenochlitan.
1822. We capture Carmarthen and Armargh.
1826. We capture Caerphily.
1828. We discover Refining. We launch transports full of Cavalry. One is to finish the Celts, the other to start with the Chinese. Our fleet is very weak indeed, it should change as they are many islands and many ships between them in this world.
1832. Tlaxcala captured, Aztecs disapear. Xinjian captured, Cardiff captured and Basra in a small island near the main Mongol continent (the force sent to the east by my predecessor consisted only of 2 Cavalry, not enough for a “charge héroïque).
1836. We discover Machine Tools.
1838. A spy tells us that Canton is only defended by one riflemen. Ah those crazy Chinese ! We capture the city. 255 gold in the process. We capture Nishapur starting well on the Mongols.

I decide to retire after those military victories. Thanks to the UN, we have made peace, but as our reputation is atrocious, I wouldn’t be surprised if we get sneak attacked. But don’t worry the war is for sure on the AI civs territory.

[Julius Brenzaida]

To hell with micro-management was my motto. I know I haven’t pleased everyone with my attitude. But Sticky Mouse can’t be build : it’s with the “S” letter ! The war is going well, though, thanks to our cavalry : the Aztecs are no more and the Celts down to one city. We have started on the Chinese and the Mongols.
So if I didn’t play perfectly, at least we’re still on the right tracks ... Some transports full of cavalry are on the way. There shouldn’t be any difficulty understanding my plans ...
BTW, the self-imposed rules don’t make it more of a challenge IMO ... (Or was there one prohibiting Cavalry ?)

[Straybow]

Nice cavalry buildup, given our limited number of cities.

[nitpick] Always use 2 Engrs to Transform. 10 turns while waiting for benefit to show up is too long. Once you've got Fridge it is often better to build a Supermarket and start Farming rather than transforming. For shield-poor cities (your own Brenzaidograd, ferxmple) txform one plains to grass so that another plains can be mined into forest.

Look at the Grasslands pattern and only txform plains if result will be shielded grass. Farmed grass is only 1 better than Farmed plains, and with Factory & power of some sort the 1 shield can make the difference between having 40 production (= 2 turns for Cruiser, for example). Avalon already has a huge surplus with farming, so more grass isn't much use. [/nitpick]

Ah, well, you did say "heck with µmgmt"

[Straybow]

Pythonized play order…

Mind if we call you "Bruce?"

1) Bruce   "Uh... I'm not quite dead, sir!"
2) Bruce   They ate Sir Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing.
3) Bruce   "Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcicial aquatic ceremony!"
4) Bruce   "…and that, my Leige, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped."
5) Bruce "Zoot!" "No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Inge."

Alphabetical means name your founded cities in rough (first letter) alpha order, as an organizational aid. Don't worry about TANSTAAFL coming after Tunafish; don't feel you must rename captured cities.

No Science Wonders (GL, Cope's, Newton's) assures that we will not grossly outpace our competitors. The size of continents should be a limit to early expansion as well.

No City Bribing (modified) applies to core AI cities. The exception: occasional loner AI city (from wandering Settlers the AI likes to send out, or Adv Tribe, etc) far from their core is fair game. Invasion actions shall be limited to one (1) attempt to sabotage walls (or another improvement) per city and unlimited production sabotage attempts.

[Six Thousand Year Old Man]

Ex-cellent. I have the save. Since the weekend is upon us, I shall be able to play in the next couple of days.

Bruce

Warning: Nitpickers will be taunted. ("Your father was a hamster, and your mother smelt of elderberrries..." or was it the other way around?)

[Scouse Gits]

Taunt away - I like picking nits - and always micromanage in Succession Games - wish i could be so devoted in my SP games...

SG[1]

[Six Thousand Year Old Man]

1838, and Bruce takes over the Praesidency.

We are on a war footing, and no mistake.

Goals:
1) Eliminate Chinese, find remaining Celts.
2) Whittle the others down to size
3) aww, just kill everyone, ok?

I'm dubious of the value of further research - the war will probably be over before we get Mobile Warfare, let alone Robotics. But we'll leave it at 2.2.6 for now.

1838: Start building some Artillery, to deal with those pesky walled cities Production changed in a few places - some Engineers in remote regions, more troops in the Homeland.

Chinese sneak attack. Some Cavalry are lost.

1840: Dye Khanbalyk>Avalon, 28g
War with Mongols.

1842: War continues.

1844: Kashgar captured by sea, 270g. Peace.
Mongol sneak attack.

1846: Combustion>Amphibious Warfare. Barb king, 150g

1848: Siege of Beijing. Beijing falls, 272 g.

1850: Dye Avalon>Brenzaidograd, 107g

1851: Moving transports...

1852: Amphibious Warfare>Automobile. Samarkand beseiged and captured, 368 g. We take Guerrilla Warfare.

1853: Nanking captured, 279g. Recalling that we can make 1 attempt at walls, a blue-eyed honey is captured with enough dynamite to make Wile E Coyote jealous, outside Karokorum.

1854: Troop buildup in Mongol and Chinese lands. Only one Chinese city remains (walled and on a river!).

Angered by the slow progress of the war, the Praesidium ousts STYOM, vowing only to reinstate him if his successors fail.

***********
Not my best work Those walled cities with Riflemen/Alpines are tough sledding using only Cavalry, and no multiple attempts on walls. I tried a spy on the last Chinese city with no luck. However, we have a few Artillery in the area, and if a preworked Engineer could put a RR up to the city...

My plan to ignore science (i.e. trade) and build only military units is taking a long time to bear fruit Perhaps we will need MW/Rob to win this one, unless it's to be a real slugfest.

STYOM

[La Fayette]

Banana shaped ? Really? Let's have a look!

[La Fayette]

Thanks to the wise decision taken by a 'vast' majority of the Praesidium, Bruce Laf comes to power and he says: 'wise members, our people will be happy and celebrate with only 10% increase in luxury during one turn; let us do that'; he also says 'wise members, we have only nine young ladies, some of them nonvet, in our secret service; this is unbearable and cannot be allowed any longer'. He finally says 'those pesky Vikings need a lesson, but we shall wage war in accordance with the sacred rules given by our great ancestor Bruce Strayb: never more than one attempt at city walls'.

1855: Our mighty and glorious cavalry takes Karakorum (plunder: 335g). Our mighty and glorious cavalry also takes Kabul (plunder: 159g).
1856: Gems delivered in Carmarthen (255g)
1859: Our mighty and glorious cavalry takes Aleppo (127g) and The Udal (143g)
1860: Our cavalry, mightier than ever, takes Roskilde (315g) and Zimbabwe (336g).
1861: A clever Viking destroyer coming from nowhere sends one of our transports to the bottom: 9 units lost; all flags down.
Our glorious cavalry takes Hladir (246g) in the meantime.
1862: Uppsala (572g) + SHANGHAI (162g): that one was tough, walled city with vet alpine inside built on a river square; we were compelled to poison it down to size one and sacrifice 4 artilleries .
1863: After having discovered Automobile and Mass Transit, our coneheads grant us Mobile Warfare.
Bruce Laf asks the Praesidium to find a wise successor, in order to make good use of all those forthcoming beautiful armours.

[Straybow]

Thou shalt take the Holy Howitzer of Antioch… and blow thine enemy to bits, in His mercy.

Technically speaking, our lovely ladies never poison anybody. But when she sends undercooked steak & kidney pies and Yorkshire pudding to these foreigners it has the same effect.

[La Fayette]

So true... (OT,OT)
I confess I tried Yorkshire pudding once in my life and it took me about a week to recover

[Scouse Gits]

Slightly confused Bruce Sgi thinks he should now be up ...
will have to do research upon what these strange thingies 'armour' and 'howitzer' are - they seem to be a new form of Crook
will play tomorrow...

SG[1]