Mark13 has a good point. If you see the invasion, then there is no difference. The problem occurs where an invasion sneaks accross your border and you don't see it. One could, just in case, "demand withdrawl" from every faction, every turn.
You could say, you can't do this unless you actually see the invaders, but I think this would be impossible to enforce or monitor.
So..
Problems with allowing demand withdrawl:
1. Makes long distance sneak attacks problematic/impossible.
Problems with disallowing demand withdrawl:
1. Gives the attacker the advantage of deciding exactly when to attack.
2. Gives the bluffer the ability to force the defender to react, or play *very* risky by doing nothing. (bluffer may turn into attacker very quickly)
3. Forces the defender to attack first, thus damaging his/her reputation, or wait to be crushed.
It almost is a momemtum/builder question, isn't it?
You could say, you can't do this unless you actually see the invaders, but I think this would be impossible to enforce or monitor.
So..
Problems with allowing demand withdrawl:
1. Makes long distance sneak attacks problematic/impossible.
Problems with disallowing demand withdrawl:
1. Gives the attacker the advantage of deciding exactly when to attack.
2. Gives the bluffer the ability to force the defender to react, or play *very* risky by doing nothing. (bluffer may turn into attacker very quickly)
3. Forces the defender to attack first, thus damaging his/her reputation, or wait to be crushed.
It almost is a momemtum/builder question, isn't it?
....however, it is not up to the defender to start an attack. The top and bottom of it is that if an attacker wants to attack he should be allowed to do so, without having a defender withdrawing his troops for him every time. If the attacker sneaks in unnoticed, of coruse, that is his prerogative, and I can foresee a scenario in which the defender demands withdrawal every turn, and the units automatically going back to base each time.

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