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  • #46


    OK, this isn't so AC-related, but nerd humor nonetheless.

    Knock knock.

    Who is it?

    Kosh.

    Kosh who?

    Bless you!


    OK, not that funny, but guess where it is from.
    Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

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    • #47
      I'll hazard a guess that you are referring to Ambassador Kosh from the Babylon 5 series, IMHO one of, if not the best, science fiction show ever put out on the air-waves.
      "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
      "That which does not kill me, missed." -- Anonymous war gamer
      "I fear that we have awakened a sleeping giant and instilled in it a terrible resolve." - Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto

      Comment


      • #48
        Originally posted by kassiopeia

        Those were actually Swedish inventions
        Q:Why did the Believer Chaos 'chopper crash?

        A: The pilot felt cold, so he turned the air conditioning off

        (You might lose something in this rather crude translation)
        I've heard that one before.

        It is nice to find something that Finns and Norwegians can agree on.

        Those wacky Swedes...
        -bondetamp
        The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
        -H. L. Mencken

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        • #49
          Originally posted by Wiglaf


          That's better

          Who is the Morgan representative to the Xenoempathy Dome?

          Bush

          ------------------------------------------------------------

          How do you put four Gaian blondes on one chair?

          Turn the chair over


          How do you put four Caretaker babes on one chair?

          You just can't (no matter what you do)

          ------------------------------------------------------------

          What is the latest pop album sensation in Data Angel Land?

          "OK Computer" by Radiohack


          What is the most popular song in Pirate Land?

          "Pure Shores" by No Saints

          ------------------------------------------------------------

          (HAR HAR HAR HAR)
          ... This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality...
          ... Pain is an illusion...

          Comment


          • #50
            Four University engineers are trolling over the fungus on a rover when the vehicle suddenly stops. Each one of them gives their suggestion about the problem:
            The mechanical engineer: "maybe it's a problem with the gear box".
            The chemical engineer: "I disagree. It has to be something related to the fuel composition".
            The electrical engineer: "No, no, no... The battery is low".

            And the computing engineer: "What if we get out of the rover and then get in it again?"

            Ok, maybe I lost something on the translation...
            I watched you fall. I think I pushed.

            Comment


            • #51
              sound: knocks on door

              query: identity?

              identity: Carmen

              elaborate: Carmen?

              door: Carmen open!

              ("Come and open the door")

              I know, that's just a regular knock-knock joke translated into Progenitor-translation. And it's only funny if you have an Australian accent. I'll just go away now.
              Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost.

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              • #52
                [This is a variation on an old joke, but it who cares anyway, right?]

                Miriam knew if she farted in the new Progenitor resonance chamber she would never hear the end of it...


                Alynzia.

                Comment


                • #53
                  How do you identify a Believer spy in a Spartan submarine.



                  He is the only guy with a parachute

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    QUOTE: I'll hazard a guess -

                    Who are you, Richard Marx?
                    Anyway, correct.

                    How do you sink a Believer sub?
                    Knock on the door.


                    Now what we need is a joke in the style of "A Believer, a Spartan and a Peacekeeper were all in a Chaos Needlejet" or somesuch.
                    Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Originally posted by Alynzia
                      [This is a variation on an old joke, but it who cares anyway, right?]

                      Miriam knew if she farted in the new Progenitor resonance chamber she would never hear the end of it...


                      Alynzia.


                      *laughs his a@@ off laughing*
                      ... This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality...
                      ... Pain is an illusion...

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Originally posted by kassiopeia
                        Who are you, Richard Marx?
                        Being sleep deprived, I'm not sure I understand the reference.

                        Enlightenment: desired.
                        "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
                        "That which does not kill me, missed." -- Anonymous war gamer
                        "I fear that we have awakened a sleeping giant and instilled in it a terrible resolve." - Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Three University scientists are sitting on a bench in the front of a building.

                          They see two people enter the building... and three come out of it.

                          The Engineer: There was probably a tunnel underneath the building, from where the person came.

                          The Biologist: The two probably reproduced.

                          The Mathematician has a pause, pondering, and then says: That building has minus one person.



                          BUMP!
                          Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Heres one:

                            Two Hive citizens are walking to the feeding bay, using their allocated free time, one thinks up a joke. He turns to the other worker and begins-

                            Citizen A: Hey did you hear the one about...

                            Citizen B: [interrupts] NO, and you didn't either! [looks around, paranoid]

                            *groan*
                            Despot-(1a) : a ruler with absolute power and authority (1b) : a person exercising power tyrannically
                            Beyond Alpha Centauri-Witness the glory of Sheng-ji Yang
                            *****Citizen of the Hive****
                            "...but what sane person would move from Hawaii to Indiana?" -Dis

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                            • #59
                              ok Her is my humble atempt at a Crashing Neddle Jet joke

                              Lal, Morgan and Yang are in a Crashing Needle Jet with only 2 Parachutes. Lal says "we must deside who will live in a fair and democratic manor" to witch Yang responds "You are a pusilanimous Wimp Lal and I will not be bound by your idiotic democracy". Yang then rushes over and grabs a parachute and begins putting it on and yells "do not try to interfere" and then jumps, his parachute opens flawlessly and he gently desends to earth ware he is sucked into a Recyling tank air inlet and prematurly becomes one with all the people. Back in the Jet Morgan turns to Lal and says "I am the wealthiest and wisest man on Planet I should be alowed to take the last parachute". Lal says "This is true my friend you are indeed great and wise and are deserving of the last parachute, but I fear you would be missing an excelent buisness oportunity in doing so". Morgan's eyes grow large and as he begins to salivate he asks "what oportunity would that be". Lal responds "why perchasing from me this high tec parachute made of super tensile solids, guaranteed never to fail, I could let you have it for a mear 1200 Energy Credits and your files on Digital Sentience". "Excelent I will except your porposal" says Morgan, he takes the sack from Lal puts it on, Lal puts on the last parachute. They jump together and Morgan pulls his cord first and watches in dismay as a dozen dirty turbines come out of the pack and fly away. Morgan screams "That was your Dirty Laundry you sold me! I demand a Refund!!". Lal retorts "Sorry CEO Satisfaction is Not Guarenteed" and pulls his own cord. Morgan plumets into a Fungal Bloom witch amazingly cushens his fall only to leave him to be devoured by Mind worms that had lost their homes when a Morganic BoreHole was Built. Lal desend safly in Peacekeeper territory and is picked up by a terraforming crew. The End.
                              Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators, the creator seeks - those who write new values on new tablets. Companions the creator seeks, and fellow harvesters; for everything about him is ripe for the harvest. - Thus spoke Zarathustra, Fredrick Nietzsche

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                              • #60
                                Wow, kass, this is what I call the resurrection of a thread...

                                I watched you fall. I think I pushed.

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