Voice of the Planet Office

[Illuminatus]

Cherish the Planet, remember Gaia.
In this issue: *Ecological Malcontents are legal again! *New Muirland *Learning with Planet *New kind of Mindworms? *A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union *Quote of the Day *Entertainment *Literary section *Other news in brief *Advertisement *Cacupuncture *Contest Ecological Malcontents are legal again! Leader of the Movement, Prophet Cha Dawn In one of most exciting Council sessions in it's history, ban on Ecological Malcontents movement has been revoked! Bill that nulified the ban has won by a single vote, despite the all efforts of Lord Chaos and Lord Illuminatus to prevent it. 'Dark Age is looming again upon us.' was the comment of Lord Illuminatus. New leader of the Ecological Malcontents movement Cha Dawn, a thirteen year old boy once known as wonder child, is responsible for much of the movements achievements in last few years. Although he is their leader for a year only, and a member for two years, the movement claims he has directed them for eight years now. We have received no additional explanation how was this 'direction' been performed. Cha Dawn or Prophet Cha Dawn as he now styles himself, has announced that his party, Cult of Planet, now legalized will run for positions in High Council. This will be first elections in last ten years, since the Silver Bill declared elections unnecesary unless requested and proceeded to elect High Council directly in the Council of Lords. Each official has announced that they intend to retain their positions and will run against Cha Dawn's candidates. Even Lady Deirdre has expressed her support to the current High Council saying that Cult of the Planet is the wrong way to go. “They wish to purge Planet clean of humankind, and that goes against Planet’s wishes. We, as a species, are hurting the Planet without any doubt, but Planet has learned much from us, and we are learning from Planet. I have no doubt that victims of the Colony pod Hope are a tragedy, but it has only shown that Planet will randomly hurt us, as we are randomly hurting it. Going on a wild rampage is not what Planet really wishes. We can learn to live in harmony with Planet and this message has to be spread by peace. War is our last resort.” This is how Prophet Cha Dawn commented the revoke of the ban: “Mankind has been blind for thousands of years-for all of its history. We have come to a place whose wonders are a hundred-fold more amazing than anything on Earth. Around us is clear evidence of the will of a higher power. I bring the Vision to the blind eyes of men. I bring the Word to the deaf ears of men. I will make them see it. I will make them hear it.” Elections are scheduled for next year and have been already declared the most important political event in history of Gaian Union since the populary called, 'Skye intervention'. New Muirland Gaian Union has declared newly discovered lands New Muirland! After the successful initial exploration of the area, which has shown rich native life presence, explorers are planning to venture deeper in the mainland, wanting to explore evidence of human habitation supplied by GAIA. The lands so far discovered have been named after the suggestion of Lord Smacksim. Many people raised question if we are going to expand to the New Muirland – High Council claims that about such venture shall not be decided until the mainland of the New Muirland is explored since GAIA claims must be comfirmed or rejected first. Learning with Planet Encouraged by success of previous issue, we plan to bring you short articles about biosphere in following issues. The centerpiece of the symbiotic web is Planet's dominant species, a sessile, plant-like organism called xenofungus. Xenofungus takes the form of dense mats of tubular shoots, with individual specimens ranging from microscopic size up to a foot in diameter. These mats form massive heaps covering thousands of square miles of land, with a depth ranging from 2 yards at the edges up to almost 30 yards at the center of a fungus zone. The fungal mats can be thousands of years old, and are very stable in size and shape. Perhaps a quarter of Planet's surface is covered by fungal mats, stretching across hundreds or thousands of miles to form a unified network. The fungus concentrates certain trace elements from the soil into its shoots, and is rich in a variety of useful biochemicals. With the development of appropriate technologies, fungus mats can yield high levels of energy, mineral and nutrient production. However, xenofungus can also present a formidable obstacle. Moving across a fungal zone is a difficult process. It is possible to simply blast through the fungus, using flamethrowers or other directed-energy weapons. A very heavy vehicle might have the raw mass needed to break through the mats, like a tank crushing hedgerows on Earth. Lighter vehicles (or foot traffic) must move across the top of the mat. There, they will find patches of rough points and sharp edges capable of shredding tires or environment suits. There are also many cavities and gaps in the mat, which can trap unwary travelers. Deep in the thickest xenofungus mats, the fungus sometimes takes on a new form: the fungal tower. Instead of growing along the ground, a dense cluster of fungal stalks grows straight up, reaching heights of 75 to 100 yards. At the top of the tower appear a variety of specialized organs with mysterious functions. The fungal towers are harmless if avoided, but any attempt to destroy them or the normal fungus in their area invariably triggers an attack by mind worms and other fungus symbionts. Next time: mindworms and spore launchers. New kind of Mindworms? Several sightings of this new kind of lifeform have been reported although not one has confirmed its existence as a species. Xenobiologist Ronald Berry said that even if it is real, it has no similarities to usual mindworms. Distinctive red and black colors, different body shape, lack of razor sharp mandibles. It's tentacles are positioned differently along the body, and never has one such 'mindworm' been recorded on a video footage. There is no evidence that this lifeform contributes to symbiotic bonds of planet's ecosystem. Lord RedFred attributes this to halucinations. Is this truly a new species or just a hallucination - only time will tell. Cacupuncture Leon Lorraine, and 22 year old Gaian has accidentaly discovered a new method of acupuncture when he mistakenly proceeded to hug a cactus. "It was painful at first, but suddenly I started to feel better. After a few days I hugged it again. Through practice every day, I learned how to make use of the technique, although small accidents happened to me." He has started a company that breeds cactuses and trains people for cacupuncture, as he calls it. "This will improve your health greately, and you just need to hug a cactus properly to ease your everyday pains." Already hundreds of Gaians have tried the cacupuncture and it seems that they are quite happy with the results. "Applying this to your back is somewhat more difficult, as you can't hug it with you back, but I found the solution by rolling on cactus - you do need to be careful when doing this, but as always, my trainers and I are ready to help you learn the proper technique." Reports say that foreigners are very interested in this technique and may be significant in trade with other factions. Quote of the Day We cannot command Nature except by obeying her. --Francis Bacon	Entertainment Outtakes from conversation with Planet: (These do not actually depict true conversations with Planet but are merely a humorous representations of such and should not be taken as real ones.) Planetvoice: You are orphans, earthdeirdre, your homeworld already buried so young among the aeons. Yet now you fill the skies where we watched a million sunsets with flame and contrails, paying no heed to the hard lessons the universe has tried to teach you. Are you a breath of life to invigorate a complacent world, you earthhumans, or an insidious dancer which must be excised? Lady Deirdre: Do you mean cancer Voice? Or you hate Lord of the Dance so much? Planetvoice: Oh ******. Lets that do again shall we? Planetvoice: We welcome you, earthdeirdre and earthwheat and earthtree as honored guests. Please do not steal the silverware and be sure to clean your feet before you enter the house. Lady Deirdre: Uh Voice, what was that supposed to mean? Planetvoice: Sorry, resist could not we. Planetvoice: Knock knock earthdeirdre. Lady Deirdre: Uh, who is it. Planetvoice: We it is. Lady Deirdre: We who? Planetvoice: We voice. Lady Deirdre: I don't get it. Where is the punchline? Planetvoice: Punchline? Planetvoice: You are orphans, earthdeirdre, your homeworld already buried so young among the aeons. Yet now you fill the skies where we watched a million sunsets with flame and contrails, paying no heed to the hard lessons the universe has tried to teach you. Are you a breath of life to invigorate a complacent world, you earthhumans, or an insidious cancer which must be circumcised? Lady Deirdre: Do we need to go with that again? Literary section Our advice for the week: Other news in brief *Xenoweed discovered by accident, researchers stoned by discovery. Further research forbidden by Lordship of Progress and data confiscated. *Wild transmissions of Star Wars caught in eter - GAIA has no answer about origin of them. *Lord Octavian announces development of xenoxenoxenodoughnuts - linguists and xenobiologists confused. *First Gaian Olympics show great success; with 16 disciplines and 648 sportsmen. Gaia's Landing teams earn 6 gold medals, three silver ones and five bronze ones. Next olympics scheduled for MY 2129. show similar results, but with more participation - 782 sportsmen and 17 disciplines. In surprising turn of events, Fallow Times teams earn 8 gold medals, two silver ones and one bronze. *River appears out from nowhere, scouts report - further investigation required. *Shelter for abused spore launchers founded in cooperation with PLO. *People report strange sightings at sea. *Forest expand in weird patterns, Planetologists unable to explain. *Lordship of Progress and GAIA initiate longterm project Pyrrho, details secret. *Xenobunnies discovered - cute xenofluffy animals quickly become popular. *GAIA reports that number of Finns has doubled in Spartan Federation - this makes Spartans the most evil faction on Planet, according to words of officer Kassiopeia of Spartan Federation. Caution advised when dealing with them. Advertisement Try cacupuncture today! Success guaranteed. Third Gaian Olympic Games scheduled for 2133, apply for them now! If you wish to join the faction use this (advised to contact Illuminatus about this) Treehugging is good for your health! Hug tree at least twice a week (warning: do not confuse trees and cactuses ) Want to contribute to this papers? Follow the procedure to join if you are not a Gaian, and if you already are visit VotP Offices. Templars are recruiting, visit their castle for more details. More empaths needed for our Xenocorps, visit GDA HQ to apply (certificate of Empath Guild needed). A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union Part Two: Gaia's Landing In from the capitol's outskirts lies the hustle and bustle of the base itself. The city's streets are all laid out on a pattern of several concentric circles, with wide promenades connecting them. You won't find many motorized vehicles in the area, as most Gaians eschew mechanical forms of transportation in favor of walking of cycling. Of course, this means it can take days to cross the city, so you're best bet on a ride is a public bus, though they run notoriously late because so many pedestrians crowd the streets. Of main interest, in the innermost ring of the city, is the Council of the Gaian Union. This building houses the main legislative and judicial functions of Union government. Tours of the building are free, though foreigners will have trouble getting into sessions of the Council itself, as its goings-on are strictly protected from outsiders, as a matter of national security. Of course, it's not terribly exciting to watch the councilors work: mostly on mundane matters of colony pod placement and base production and such. The layman, and most humourously, some councilors, wouldn't understand a thing. Also sharing the central circle with the Council Building is the famed tall and particularly beautiful stand of white pine, planted at the time of the first colonies. Many Gaians make it a point to daily run naked through this hallowed groud. Be warned, though, that not all Gaians are particularly interesting to look at (indeed, some are just down right repulsive), contrary to many (if not all) pornographic videos may say/show. Cameras are strictly forbidden, so we recommend you take one with you anyway. Various buildings housing the executive offices are the Gaian goverment are also found in the inner rings of Gaia's Landing. The buildings of the Lordships of Development, Diplomacy, Progress, are Security (also known as GAIA) are all open to the public, though they mostly are really rather uninteresting. For a good time, though, one just has to walk into the Building of the Chairman of the Council of Lords, and pretend to start work as a janitor there. Almost all who have done claim it was the best, most mind-blowing experiences of their lives. For an interesting botanical tour, visit the gardens of Lady Deirdre Skye, located next to her residence near the Council Building. A small donation is asked for at entry, and it is worth every energy credit. Many plants you didn't even know about grow here - on is rumored to actually resemble a living, breathing xenocow, that will moo and drop some feces from time to time. -to be continued Contest Due to yet unknown reasons (other factions too lazy ? ), no submissions have been received this time. Due to this contest is being cancelled. Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, Octavian X with material from Jon F. Zeigler No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever. No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees with the rest of Gaians or watching Gaian Olympics. VotP Offices have upgraded to a different computer systems which slightly changes data encryption. In next issue read: More of Hitchhikers Guide and Learning with Planet, Report about strange sightings at sea and possible Interfactional Crisis with political refugees. Gaia'sLanding.2130->21301888645.tr-ttz-10f.-#GH5
Hagar the Gaian* in episode: CMNs, titles and Finland *Hagar the Gaian is not in any way stealing or copying the original Hagar the Horrible. All rights are reserved to author of Hagar the Horrible, Chris Browne. This comic uses graphics of the comic with the respect towards the author and comic, and does not intend to claim any of the rights reserved for author. We do nto not intend to disgrace the author and the character in any way, and if author requests, comic shall be removed. We appreciate the talent of the author and quality of the comic.

[Octavian X]

I can probably write something up tonight.

[Illuminatus]

That tonight is certainly taking a lot of time. I believe that I am running out of ideas, and I still have article to finish.
[reserved for issue 5]

[Octavian X]

Is it my fault if I'm lazy?

Seriously, though, with any luck I can have something tomorrow.

[Octavian X]

A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union

Part Two: Gaia's Landing

In from the capitol's outskirts lies the hustle and bustle of the base itself.

The city's streets are all laid out on a pattern of several concentric circles, with wide promenades connecting them. You won't find many motorized vehicles in the area, as most Gaians eschew mechanical forms of transportation in favor of walking of cycling. Of course, this means it can take days to cross the city, so you're best bet on a ride is a public bus, though they run notoriously late because so many pedestrians crowd the streets.

Of main interest, in the innermost ring of the city, is the Senate of the Gaian Union. This building houses the main legislative and judicial functions of Union government. Tours of the building are free, though foreigners will have trouble getting into sessions of the Senate itself, as its goings-on are strictly protected from outsiders, as a matter of national security. Of course, it's not terribly exciting to watch the senators work: mostly on mundane matters of colony pod placment and base production and such. The layman, and most humourously, some Senators, wouldn't understand a thing.

Also sharing the central circle with the Senate Building is the famed tall and particularly beautiful stand of white pine, planted at the time of the first colonies. Many Gaians make it a point to daily run naked through this hallowed groud. Be warned, though, that not all Gaians are particularly interesting to look at (indeed, some are just down right repulsive), contrary to many (if not all) pornographic videos may say/show. Cameras are strictly forbidden, so we recommend you take one with you anyway.

Various buildings housing the executive offices are the Gaian goverment are also found in the inner rings of Gaia's Landing. The buildings of the Lordships of Development, Diplomacy, Progress, are Security are all open to the public, though they mostly are really rather uninteresting. For a good time, though, one just has to walk into the Building of the Chairman of the Council of Lords, and pretend to start work as a janitor there. Almost all who have done claim it was the best, most mind-blowing experiences of their lives.

For an interesting botanical tour, visit the gardens of Lade Deidre Skye, located next to her residence near the Senate Building. A small donation is asked for at entry, and it is worth every energy credit. Many plants you didn't even know about grow here - on is rumored to actually resemble a living, breathing xenocow, that will moo and drop some feces from time to time.

[Illuminatus]

New comic for this issue. I hope it is finished now.

[Ouro_827]

Book Reccomendations

The Fungus Speaks by Olga Popavitch - Mystical

The Danger of Sniffing Spores by Georgiana Brown - Self-Help/Informative

Illuninatus and His Secrets: The Unauthorized Biography by Unknown -Young Adult/Biography

The Fungus in Her Bed by Markos Riveria - Romance

Blood in the Fungus by Doyles Conan - Mystery

Jinny and the Fungal Tower by Peter William - Children's

The Monolith Lives by Fredrick Marpohl - Science Fiction

The Spartans are Coming! by Lars Bondonson - Action/Techno

Mindmages by Ian MacDonald - Fantasy

[Illuminatus]

Re: Sample matrix

(In work)

TEXT HERE
In this issue: * * * * * * * *Literary section *Other news in brief *Advertisemen * *Contest * ARTICLE TITLE 1 How to solve problems with Cult of Planet? We have witnessed a wave of unrest during last several years. Members of Planet Cult are instigating civil unrest across the Union. Since their sound defeat at elections of 2131., Prophet Cha Dawn has declared that they do not longer wish to lead the Gaian Union, but to secede from Gaian Union and pursue their goals indenpendently. Fallow Tragedy which happened in 2134. was spurred by Cult of Planet in their attempt to secede the base from Union and rename it Dawn of Planet, in attempt to create their own faction. Over three hundred dead and nearly eight hundred wounded were the result of failed civil unrests. Public was shocked with this events, and Cult of Planet was banned again, and their remaining repesentatives removed from the Council. Since then, Cult of Planet has continued to operate undercover, supporting unrest among drones, conducting sabotage actions against terrain improvements, and even trying to obtain a mindworm or two for their uses (we learned this as a result of investigation of Seraphin accident). High Council has said before that they won't bow to terrorist demands, evem after Fallow Tragedy. Question is, how will we stop attacks? Repeated police actions have failed to stop Planet Cult, although they decreased their numbers and resources significantly. Should we allow them to continue their terrorist actions? Although Planet Cult wishes to secede with a number of bases from the Union, none of bases has shown overwhelming support for Planet Cult - and with increasing terrorist actions from Planet Cult initial support for them has dwindled. Cult of Planet receiving outside help? There are growing suspicions that Cult of Planet is being secretly funded by outside sources. This is one of explanations how did they manage to stir so many trouble in last time. Is outside power undermining stability of the Union? As strange as it seems, since Cha Dawn has expressed hostility to every outside faction, it may be a reality. Several early statements from Angel Infotrader GeoModder initialy supplied the doubt that Data Angels might be funding Cult, but this was soon disapproved as GAIA determined that Angels are not funding Cult, having not capability to do so. Angels did express political support in initial efforts of Cult, offering them a place for renegades, but they seem to have withdrawn it after Cult publicly declined their support, calling them 'filth that needs to be purged with the rest of mankind'. Other option is, that Chairman Yang is funding Cha Dawn in order to weaken Union for Hiverian invasion. This is also unlikely, because of already mentioned reasons, but Cult may be desparate enough to temporary accept outiside help. Yang, does have the capability to do so. Third option is that yet unmet power, but whose existence has been proven, is funding Cult for their nefarious schemes, which involve weaking Union through internal unrest. All scenarios seem unlikely, but we must carefuly consider them. What if Cult is just a pawn in greater plans? We must be prepared for this possibility. ARTICLE TITLE 4 ARTICLE TITLE 5 The most feared creature on Planet is a small, snakelike animal which rarely grows more than 6 inches in length. As individuals, the mind worms are unimpressive, but in mass they are one of Planet's greatest scourges. Variant forms of the mind worm exist. Aquatic and flying mind worms have been documented. Both forms or "vectors" are otherwise identical to the land-based mind worm. For most of its life cycle, the mind worm lives a solitary, almost dormant existence in the interstices of Planet's fungal mats. There it exists as a symbiont, performing several functions to keep the fungus healthy while feeding on selected fungal stalks. From time to time, however, the mind worms congregate into a larval mass as the result of some biochemical trigger (or psionic signal) released by the xenofungus. As the larval mass grows, it can become a full-fledged boil, moving out of the fungus zones into regions inhabited by humans. There the mind worms become a terrifying plague, attacking any Earth-born thing they sense. Their physical attack is vicious but rather trivial, overshadowed by their capacity for psionic assault. Mind worms have razor-sharp mandibles which can inflict a vicious grinding bite. Given time they can gnaw through just about anything, although they can instinctively find weak points in armor or other materials. They have a particular affinity for the neural tissue of animals, and will seek out such tissue when attacking. Human victims face a horrific fate, as the mind worms burrow through the eye sockets or other openings in the skull. Mind worms which penetrate a braincase will implant egg sacs in the protein-rich tissue, instantly killing the victim. Particularly dense mind-worm boils are perfectly capable of covering a human victim, bringing some of their number into position to burrow into his braincase even if he is resisting. In most cases, however, the mind worm needs an unprotected and helpless victim before it can finish its attack. Mind worm boils reduce their targets to such a state using a psionic attack (p. 00). Victims see nightmare visions of torture and suffering, and are effectively unable to resist as the mind worms move in for the kill. Only the most disciplined (or psi-talented) troops can hold the mind worm boil off long enough to bring flame guns or other weapons into use. An adult mind worm normally lives for only a month outside the symbiotic protection of its xenofungus field. Their boil phase is actually the climax of their reproductive cycle, the time when they seek out fertile ground in which to implant their eggs. Mind worms reproduce sexually but are hermaphroditic, and can even impregnate themselves in hostile conditions. Mind worms exhibit very little genetic diversity; one worm is virtually identical to any other, anywhere on Planet. When a mind worm boil is destroyed by violence, its slayers reap an unexpected reward. Some members of a boil (possibly the same ones which play a coordinating role in its psionic attack) build up rare elements and exotic organic compounds in their bodies. When these mind worms are killed, they leave behind husks which can be "mined" for useful materials. These husks are informally called planetpearls by the human colonists, and are highly prized. Mind worms are not restricted to the land. An aquatic variety lives in Planet's oceans, symbiotic on the sea fungus just as the land-based variety lives within the continental fungus zones. Aquatic mind worms are the same species as the land-based variety, the variations in form and life cycle apparently governed by a different subset of their common genetic basis. Aquatic boils are called isles of the deep. The boil's biochemical processes generate gases for buoyancy, allowing the boil to float on the surface. There, the isle is quite capable of seeking out food sources such as ships and sea colonies. Isles of the deep which approach the coastline have been known to spawn boils of the land-based vector, which break away from the parent mass and proceed to hunt on land. The third vector of the mind worm is the airborne locusts of Chiron. On rare occasions, a pre-boil mass of mind worms undergoes a radical physical transformation, its individual members growing wings and taking to the air. Locusts of Chiron are fast-moving and particularly vicious, and normally appear only during periods of intense mind-worm activity. ARTICLE TITLE 6	Quote of the Day The grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried all at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls -John Muir Entertainment A large group of Hiverian soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a hill. "One Spartan soldier is better than ten Hiverians". The hive commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers to the hill whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One Spartan is better than one hundred Hiverians". Furious, the Hive commander sends his next best 100 troops to the hill and instantly a huge gunfight commences, impact and laset weapons firing, soldiers screaming, explosions rocking the area... After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The Spartan voice calls out again "One Spartan is better than one thousand Hiverians". The enraged Hive Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them to the hill. Detonations, shredders and impact gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Hiverian crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them." Outtakes Planetvoice: Why did the earthmorgan cross the road? Lady Deirdre: I don't know. Why Voice? Planetvoice: To run away from mindworms. Lady Deirdre: That was pretty lame. Planetvoice: Better we recall our mindworms then. Lady Deirdre: You did that for real? Wait Voice, you can't just... Planetvoice: [terminates link] Planetvoice: Yo! [censored]ing earthdeirdre! Lady Deirdre: What! How... what happened to you Voice? Planetvoice: Wassup! We are from tha Gettho! Lady Deirdre: Errr, yes, you are Voice. Planetvoice: Haha, new human skill learn we. How do you like it, earthdeirdre Lady Deirdre: Yes, excellent, Voice. It is so good that you do not need to do it again. Literary section Book Reccomendations The Fungus Speaks by Olga Popavitch - Mystical The Danger of Sniffing Spores by Georgiana Brown - Self-Help/Informative Lady Deirdre and Her Secrets: The Unauthorized Biography by Unknown -Young Adult/Biography The Fungus in Her Bed by Markos Riveria - Romance Blood in the Fungus by Doyles Conan - Mystery Jinny and the Fungal Tower by Peter William - Children's The Monolith Lives by Fredrick Marpohl - Science Fiction The Spartans are Coming! by Lars Bondonson - Action/Techno Mindmages by Ian MacDonald - Fantasy Other news in brief *Angel faction reported to be 'quite zombie'. Divine interventions suspected. *Terrorist leader Cha Dawn doesn't age - rumours tell. *Man claims to see unidentified ships at sea, bearing pirate flag. Report dismissed as hallucination. *Relations with Yang strained. Advertisement ARTICLE TITLE 10 Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, Ouro_827 No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever. No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles. In next issue read: SOME THINGS Gaia'sLanding.2MISSIONYEAR->SOME NUBMERS011011645.tr10f.
Hagar the Gaian* in episode: EPISODE NAME *Hagar the Gaian is not in any way stealing or copying the original Hagar the Horrible. All rights are reserved to author of Hagar the Horrible, Chris Browne. This comic uses graphics of the comic with the respect towards the author and comic, and does not intend to claim any of the rights reserved for author. We do nto not intend to disgrace the author and the character in any way, and if author requests, comic shall be removed. We appreciate the talent of the author and quality of the comic.

[Illuminatus]

Re: Re: Sample matrix

(In work)

Emergency broadcast from Gaia's Landing!*** Lady Deirdre speaks to nation!***Gaian Defense Force readiness increased to maximum level.***Forces being deployed north.*** Exploration missions near Hive border cancelled.***Recruiting offices being opened across the Union.***Please proceed with caution when traveling outside known pathways.***Lady Deirdre's trip to Angel lands cancelled.***GDN Dauntless recalled.***No response from other factions.***Pholus Lunar Outpost declares itself neutral.***Weapons production expected to increase by 900 percent in next four months.***Cult of Planet has not reacted yet.***Fluffy goes to front***Voice of the Planet publishes a special editon*Congratulations! This is the end of the marquee!***Actually it is not.***This is the true end of the marquee. honest!

Lady Deirdre speaks WAR DECLARED! My fellow Gaians, with great sadness I must inform you that from twenty minutes ago, we are in war with the Hive. Leader of Hive, infamous Chairman Yang, has ordered hostile actions to be taken against us, without any provocation from our side. In response to that, Council of Lords has voted in emergency session declaration of war against the Hive. It seems that our plans are not compatible with those of Chairman Yang. Gaian Defense Forces have already taken defensive perimeter near border with Yang. I have been assured that we are capable to hold off and destroy entire invasion force if neccesary. However High Council is planning retaliatory actions against Yang this very minute, and we expect to punish Hive for his crimes against the Planet. His days of rapid expansion and growth are over. The retaliatory strike may not be today, or even tomorrow, but we shall strike back. You will notice that much of our industrial capabilities are being redirected for war in days to come. While our Forces are strong, we will need more resources devoted to military for fullscale invasion of Hive motherland. This may sound as a disappointment to some, but our resources need to be spent on military. Our longterm plans need to be changed to suit current situation better. I would just like to say one thing more - we are not fighting for our survival. We are not fighting for Gaian Union. We are fighting for Planet. --end transmission- Lady Deirdre's Headquarters.-- General Hydrian speaks Gaian Union has no need to be afraid of Hiverian invasion. Our forces have already taken defensive perimeters in fungus, at vital position near Hive border. When Hive decides to send invasion troops, our forces will emerge from fungus, outflank them and destroy, returning to fungus with no or minimal casulties. We in firm belief that we can repel any attack that Hive sends against us, including full scale invasion forces. Additionaly, any tech advantage Hive may have over us will be negated by our psi forces. Invasion of Hive motherland will be a different story. With assistance of artillery, navy and ground forces, it will be a slow and steady push forward. We will need to eliminate enemy opposition and sensor network, and strive to cut off bases. One wonderful advantage that we have are our mindworm boils. We are all familiar with the fact that Hive build their bases underground, making them very resilient to attacks. There is no doubt that Hive will try to use this fact against us, but this is where our mindworm boils step in. Since mindworms can breach virtually any possible defensive perimeter, they will have no trouble finding their way to the interior of Hive bases, completely negating their defense advantages. Additionally, Hiverian troops with their weapons will no match to our seasoned mindworms in psi combat. Death by mindworms is a painful death, but this is war. Following that tactic, we expect to slowly take away Hive bases. Remember, we will be waging war on their grounds, and they will be forced to turn all their efforts to defense. Once the initial takeover of Hive bases is over, it will become a war of attrition. Our forces will then benefit from natural perimeter defenses of captured Hive bases, artillery (spore launchers) and guerilla strikes against incoming Hive reinforcements. Hive is expected to lose a great deal of it's army that way, preparing it for final stage of the war, thrust to the Hive itself. This stage shall require reinforcements from our bases, but shall finaly end Hive threat. With central base captured, army in ruins, and a good deal of a bases under our control, Hive will be forced to sue for peace to preserve whatever will be left from their empire, when that happens we will not care about Hive any longer. Their remains will not be a threat any more, and probably fall prey to attacks from other factions. You must remember, that while this may sound simple, it will certainly be a long war. It will take decades to end, and will leave a mark on future of Gaian Union.

Diplomatic overview Gaian Union does not require help against Yang from other factions, although we are ready to cooperate against him if that lunatic goes to war against them. As you know PLO has declared neutrality in all conflicts on planet, and Angels do not have official statement yet. Other factions are too far or unknown to us. We are aware that we are fighting the most powerful faction on Planet, but not everything is in size. This is a chance for us to emerge as a world power, and get the Planet rid of that monster that calls himself Yang. The good thing is, that we will make official contact with the rest of factions on Planet. Do we still walk with Planet? Chief Planetary Ecologist, RedFred: Unless Chairman Yang resorts to Biochemical weapons, we believe that this war actually help maintaing delicate balance with Planet. By defeating Yang, we will actually reduce the worldwide level of ecodamage. Xenobiologist Lapantalones: We are aware that this conflict shall cause greater disturbance of fungal networks than usual, since we are going to use them for both attacks and defense, but we shall prevent further eradication of fungus by the hands of Hive. Base Governor Xin Kim Ling: I am worried for longterm future of Gaian Union. most of our longterm projects have been cancelled. Many of them involved bonding with Planet. Now we are turning into a military force. Is stomping on Yang walking with Planet. What do the common Gaians think? 'I am against the war! We are artisans, not warriors! We should try to seek peaceful coexistence.' 'We shall show this Hive bastards! They will se what mindburrowing worms are! Glory Gaia!' 'I am not into these big politic things. I just want to study Planet's biosphere.' 'We must fight back if we are being attacked.' 'I am going to join the army right now. I'll show those brainwashed Hiverians.' 'Why can't we all just get along?' 'I do not want to join the army but I wish we win the war.' Entertainment! What is the difference between Roman Empire and Hive? Hive hasn't fallen... yet. How do you stop a Hive tank? Shoot the guy pushing the cardboard. How do Hiverians catch fish? They catch one and then beat it until it tells them where others are If you both Chairman Yang and Cha Dawn were drowning and you could save one of them, would you sit and watch or go get some snacks? Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, binTravkin No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this special edition. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope and hive agression and shall be remembered forever. Gaia'sLanding.2127->MY2137-DDTR-45-01XC5.eg10f.

Yes, yes, I know, we probably should not reveal this to public, but I can't resist making a special edition anyway.

[Chaos Theory]

Perhaps the font size could be a teeny bit smaller?

[Illuminatus]

Font size of what? Logo or the title? Ah nevermind. I intend to finish it tommorow, whether it is for approved for outside publication or not. Oh, and special logo needs to be rwirtten too. Hopefuly Angels will have a final yes on treaty by tommorow. I am eager to hear why they want Mobility. Good night!.

[Natalinasmpf]

Should we consult the Angels about this?

Not seriously, but to see their stance about it: ie. since they're pro-democracy and all, and although they might not openly declare war, subtly condemn Yang, etc.

[binTravkin]

Gaian Union has no need to be afraid of Gaian invasion.

Seems a bit incorrect - didn't you mean "Hiverian invasion"?

With assistance or artillery, navy and ground forces, it will be a slow and steady push forward.

Maybe "of"?

Just helping you!

[binTravkin]

Phoulus Lunar Outpost declares itself neutral.

Never heard about that!
What is it?

[Illuminatus]

I was very sleepy yesterday - I go fix it. binTravkin - PLO (not that PLO) are our CMNs. BTW, does anyone want to write an article?