Voice of the Planet Office

[smacksim]

Ouro and Net warrior were talking about worm loops about 15 posts back. I thought I'd help along their article or add.

[Illuminatus]

I know, but anyway, these cereals are made from mindworms that ended their lifecycle, lest we want comments "What kind of environmentalsits are you? You are eating native lifeforms!"

[Illuminatus]

Planet is truly a beautiful place
In this issue: *Citizens of Gaia's Landing marvel at alien technology *Interview with Captain Laurentius *Elections of 2107. *In further developments of fungus as a food... *Strange radiosignals being received all over Gaian Union *Baby found in fungus: faction wonders what happened *Literary section *Quote of the day: *Entertainment section *Advertisement *Other news in brief *New: A contest! *Hagar the Gaian Citizens of Gaia's Landing marvel at alien technology! As you many of you already know, some years ago, our scout patrol unit explored a Unity Pod signal in sector 26-75B northwest of Gaia's Landing. Unity Pod signal was a fake one, as Scout Patrol determined while exploring. Radiowaves were in fact emitted by ancient alien beaconing device. Upon further investigation, Scout Patrol ventured upon ancient robotic unit, codenamed BattleOgre. All research shows that it is most likely of extraterrestrial origin, since spectrographic analysis showed that BattleOgre alloys are partially composed from ununoctium isotopes, which has completely shocked the scientific community. "Ununoctium was element that scientist on Earth tried to create for decades, but they never managed to actually do it. Research on that was abandoned some time before the Six minute war. Ununoctium nucleus decays less than a millisecond after its formation by emitting an alpha-particle. This results in an isotope of element 116 (mass number 289, containing 116 protons and 173 neutrons). This isotope of element 116, is also radioactive and undergoes further alpha-decay processes to an isotope of element 114 and so on down to at least element 106. Despite that, BattleOgre survived for millions of years; team of xenoarcheologists has estimated age of 76.5 million years (based on radiometric age dating of part of the Ogre containing small amount of uranium) which means that it was left there in the time when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth! Unfortunately, as the secret of stabilizing ununoctium eludes us, we are going to be unable to replicate advanced technology of the BattleOgre, or even repair it. Commander of the Gaian Defense Forces Lord Darsnan, and Chairman of GAIA Lord Illuminatus said that Battle Ogre posses advanced weapon and armor systems, and is capable of selfsupport and control. After some years of exploration, BattleOgre has finally came to our capitol, where it will serve for defense and police duties. Rare drones in Gaia's Landing have already given up their rebellious thoughts after seeing the tremendous figure of the BattleOgre. This will also provide permanent security, since many still question how the colony pod Hope came to be destroyed by mindworms. Captain Laurentius has asked that the BattleOgre is renamed to Pegasus, and Lord Darsnan has granted him that favour. On questions how Gaian Union gained control of the BattleOgre, Lord Illuminatus said that captain of the Scout Patrol team, Laurentius should have the honor of telling this. You can read the interview with Captain Laurentius below. Interview with Captain Laurentius It was a chilly tuesday evening turning into night. One of my intelligence officers was scanning the usual frequences because a small recon team of ours had gone missing or stealth mode few hours earlier during a routine operation of search for unity pods. The radio silence indicated that they had either found something, or were in trouble. Just after 3 am our scanners picked up a signal. It was unlike the ones we used and it was growing stronger all the time. We locate the source was now just over the hills about 2 clicks from us there were no signs of life on our radars and scanners, so we proceeded to the site. There it was, a colossal ancient vehicle. After securing the site I had some of my engineers to go look at the machine - they discovered its maneuvering system and cracked the security locks that had been automatically gone on, we were then able to transport the Ogre back to camp for further studies. There the engineers were able to startup the vehicle, which seemed to be automated. We all took cover and targeted the Ogre, as we did not known if the vehicle will attack us. Soon the Ogre started to move and it scanned us. We were ready to defend, as pointless as it would be, but then we realised that the Ogre isn't hostile towards us! Soon it started to emit strange sounds, like an attempt to speak. We were unable to respond. Suddenly, I got an idea. We programmed our handheld computer and holoprojector to display parts of the Datalinks in front of the Ogre. For all we knew, Ogre could be a sentient being and it was our duty to make contact with him. After several hours Ogre has assimilated enough knowledge to speak to us. It seemed to be programmed to adapt to every new condition. The Ogre spoke: "BattleUnit 3456 ready for input of new orders." We are completely taken by surprise. The Ogre was basically offering itself to us! Also, the designation stirred many questions: were they really thousands of this units on Planet? In that case the faction that would seize most of them would be unstoppable. We started to ask questions to Ogre and we found out many things: it's makers left the planet a long time ago (his internal chronometer failed after first two milion years) after a long fight in which many of the Ogres were destroyed. The remaining ones were left and they went into a kind of "sleep" mode until new commanders came for them. It assumed that we are his new commanders. So far, Ogre posses intelligence and selfcontrol, but is not truly sentient and wishes only to serve us. It may be given complex orders and is fully inderstanding now that it is part of the Gaian Defense Forces of the Gaian Union. It was studied first naturally, and it is completely harmless - for us . Why did I name it Pegasus? As you know I have been closely assosiated with the Cult of the Shrike as well as the Templar Brotherhood of Muir. The pegasus is one of the reincarnations of the Muir, the Shishigami, the giver and taker of life. In the cults mythology, which was mainly imported from old Earths Japan, the Shishigami was the gread of living on a small lake in the center of the forest, and every night when the moon light shined, it grew from its daily pegasus shape into a magnificent 50 metre high wandering spirit who was made of starstuff. Elections of 2107. Elections of 2107. Went as expected, with all officials being reelected with the exception of Lord Illuminatus that replaced Lord Obstructor. 67 percent of the Gaians voted on the two day elections, which is a significant increase compared to first elections. Next elections have been scheduled to early spring of year 2112. Lady Deirdre congratulated the winners on retaining their positions. Baby found in fungus: faction wonders what happened A infant has been found by a mindworm exploration division (MED). Chief empath, Lindly, describes the event: “As we [empath/mindworm in direct empathic connection decribe themselves as we] were mapping the fungus roads in sector 15-65K, we sensed weak emanations of a human consciousness. Knowing that there are not supposed to be any Gaians in vicinity we immediately rushed towards the source. We expected to see a scout of another faction that has survived Planetfall, perhaps injured after mindworm attack, but we soon sensed that something is wrong. Consciousness seemed so simple and fragile, yet tranquil even as it was in a middle of a vast fungal field, almost like a wild mindworm. Mindworm Promethea first sensed it was a child, when it telepathically asked me why would we leave human larvae in fungus. I was absolutely shocked when I realised what Promethea was telling me. At first I thought a group of colonists fell victim to mindworm attack and the infant survived, but I was amazed when we saw an infant, lying in fungus without any breathing mask! It is also unknown why child has not been harmed by native lifeforms, even as exact time of exposure to the native environment is unknown. Child was calm and infact we sensed happiness in it when the baby noticed Promethea. Promethea quickly rearranged herself to carry the baby towards the nearest base with utmost speed. We actually met a medical team 50 kilometres east from it which administered some help.” Baby has been examined and DNA comparison has shown no match with any DNA of a Gaian, so we assume that baby derives from a splinter group of colonists. Area is patrolled in case someone comes in search for it, but its parents are most likely dead. Medical examination has shown that the baby is in perfect health and shows no traces of nitrogen narcosis! Child has already been adopted by a family whose identity has not been revealed.	In further developments of fungus as a food... Independent researcher Net Warrior has put forth a plan to the Gaian goverment for thirty-five credits a year to fund the development of a chemical solution that would be able to transform large blooms of fungus into pancakes. Net Warrior said that this was his way of paying back to the people, and that it would surely benefit everyone, since it is impossible not to love apple-fungus pancakes! Net Warrior is under investigation in a case of industrial espionage against Kell-G corporation, who developed many of the fungus processing techniques, including that of manufacturing the pancakes. No members of the Gaian council were available to comment on the possibility of funding being made available for Net Warrior's research, but they have said that this methods are not ecologically disruptive. Strange radiosignals being received all over Gaian Union Radioastronomers across Gaian Union claim to receive strange radio emissions from yet unidentified source on surface of one of the moons. Reports claim that pointing the telescopes directly into the Pholus moon increases the likelyhood of reception of this emissions. Gaian Lordship of Progress still has not confirmed or rejected claims that there is a human civilisation thriving on Pholus moon. This matter is under urgent investigation and Council of Lords is supposed to have an urgent session based on the full report of the Lordship of Progress that is currently being assembled. Until then, all rumours are to be considered false. Literary section Read the novelisation of the Pegasus finding by Captain Laurentius: Me, myself and Pegasus. Available in your bases now! Read 101 Gardening Tips for Fungus by Smacksim New! Lady Deirdre's Secret Lover (unauthorised fiction) Old Gaian and the Sea by Earns T. Heamingwain Be sure to get first edition of Encyclopedia Gaianica! Book "How I survived the mindworm attack" - by Susan Dry, one of 26 survivors of the Hope massacre. Quote of the day: From the dust of the earth, from the common elementary fund, the Creator has made Homo sapiens. From the same material he has made every other creature, however noxious and insignificant to us. They are earth-born companions and our fellow mortals. The fearfuly good, the orthodox, of this laborious patch-work of modern civilization cry Heresy on every one whose sympathies reach a single hairs breadth beyond the boundary epidermis of our own species. Not content with taking all of earth, they also claim the celestial country as the only ones who possess the kind of souls for which that imponderable empire was planned. -- John Muir Entertainment section Tonight on Green TV: Second part of legendary trilogy: Lord of the Trees: Tall Trees. Green House: new series commenting on state of art in today's culture. Travel series: Joan Attenbourghesky visits Great Fungal Wastes. Artist show: Garland orchester plays the great works of W.A. Mozart. Poetry hour: Edgar A. Poe William Wordsworth Also new season of famous Forestwatch series. Advertisement Garland orchestra is looking for a flautist. Report to it in Central Alley 4. Empath Guild offers new ways of relaxation to Gaians. Interested should come into Empath Guild Hall next Monday in early morning. Architecture Centre opens competition for new pillar in Gaia's Landing - read details at guw.architecturecentre.org. Want to be xenoarcheologist? Apply for study at Fallow Times Hall. Botanist Garden prepares trip to seacoast - all interested please apply. Buy Worm Loops! Extra special flavor, and each piece of cereal is formed like an authentic Gaian mindworm! Plus, check the back of the box for a special offer to purchase a plushie Gaian mindworm for only 3 credits! Also, check for the specially marked boxes of Worm Loops with Fungus! Try and find the mindworms buried in the replications of real fungal patches! Check in the cereal area of your local distribution center! *mindworms at the end of their lifecycles are used Buy Wormies today Other news in brief -Third anniversary of tragic death of the crew of our third colony pod Hope memorated. Lady Deirdre vows for better understanding of native life to prevent such tragedies in the future. -Gaians sight multiple snowflakes. -Xenodoughnut farm finished, Lords wonder who gave the order for construction. Lord Octavian is reported missing since the opening of the xenodoughnut farm. -Most Gaians visit the coast for relaxation, work pools drastically decreased. -Ecological Malcontents movement stirs up more controversy -Lord Hydro vanishes once again -Cartoonist hit by lightning after finishing latest episode, divine intervention suspected -Instead of article, Smacksim publishes a book, VotP office still requests promised material. Contest! Voice of the Planet Office has opened a contest! The person that correctly counts the number of legs of the elephant on the photo below and PMs the publisher shall win the contest. Be carefull, the task is not as simple as it seems How many legs do you see? Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, Ouro_827, Smacksim and Net Warrior. No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever. No Gaian life has been harmed, except the cartoonist who was struck by mysterious divine lightning, mostly due to fact that staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles. In next issue read: report of Templar order of Muir, story about training in Empath Guild, update on strange radiotransmissions, and story about empathically gifted child ! Gaia'sLandingMY2117.0403093418.tr55h.
Hagar the Gaian* in episode: Game rules *Hagar the Gaian is not in any way stealing or copying the original Hagar the Horrible. All rights are reserved to author of Hagar the Horrible, Chris Browne. This comic uses graphics of the comic with the respect towards the author and comic, and does not intend to claim any of the rights reserved for author.

[Illuminatus]

No offense intended Drogue

[smacksim]

Lookin' Good!

[Chaos Theory]

Regarding misinformation, 2107 (ten years ago) is pretty late to have a second colony pod roaming, but pretty early to have a third one. Losing our third pod is more believable than losing our second, given our population. I suppose we can have the colony pod completion date a couple of years sooner than it really was, and then say it was lost a couple of years after that.

[Illuminatus]

Fixed. Now it is 13th, so it makes our second colony pod lost in MY2104 - which would be turn before establishing second base.

[Snowflake]

Strange radiosignals being received all over Gaian Union

Contact made with other human civilisation!!! That'd give somebody a shock for a couple seconds.

It's a great edition.

[Edit] Looks like these are all spam posts by the Gaians standard. But I just find it hard to edit them all out. They all have some meanings to me. Please let me know if it needs to be edited out.

[Illuminatus]

Gonna publish in ~3 hours when I browse it for spellings. Now I have some Rl obligations.

[Chaos Theory]

I wonder if anyone will open up a 2105 or 2106 turn and call our bluff, based on our population. Oh well, it'll do no harm in any case.

[Snowflake]

Illuminatus, please be more clear when you edit my post. I wouldn't be able to follow your advise if I don't understand what you mean.

Do you mean my suggestion was not good, or do you mean I shouldn't be given suggestions? If it was the second, I thought one of the roles of the narrators was to help with the roleplays? I'd appreciate some enlightment from you.

Also if you could give out your advice without having to edit my post, it would perhaps be better.

[Edit] This post used to be my suggestion about the lost colony pod misinformation. It later was edited by Illuminatus to a smilie. I'm letting this post stand because it is part of the history how we get to this place.

[Illuminatus]

Third memorial of the loss of third colony pod. I believe that is satisfactory. Any other objections? Bits about Dauntless added . EDIT: It were removed after some consideration.

[Hydro]

Sumission for the Voice of Planet

*!*!*!*

Ask Fluffy

Fluffy, the long-time companion of Lady Deirdre Skye, has been asked for his Planet-wise advice for years. Now this advice comes to you.

Dear Fluffy: I’ve hear the term ‘former rush’ for years and it’s been driving me crazy! What is a ‘former rush’, and how exactly does a former rush? This doesn’t make sense. Help! Signed – Very Confused

Dear VC – I can understand your confusion, and I’m here to help! First, let’s look at the origin of the words. ‘Former’ means one who makes or builds. Now, a rush is pliable reed that can be used to construct useful items like baskets or furniture. So, this means that a ‘former rush’ is a type of reed that is used by skilled artisans. Simple!

Dear Fluffy: I’m beside myself with worry. My 14 year old daughter Mally has been seeing this Morganite businessman who is at least 30 years older than her! He showers her with gifts and tells her she loves her and that she’s beautiful. She’s drifted away from me, and I think she may run away with Mr. Wonderful. I don’t know what to do! Help me Fluffy! Signed –Very Worried

Dear VW – I’m glad you came to me, and not a moment too soon. Your concern is real, and I can help. First, tell your daughter that you support her decision and want to help her in strengthen her love. To do that, send her to a guidance counselor – me. I’ll lay it on the line, and let her know what is really happening. Also, tell Mr. Wonderful that he needs to enhance his ‘performance’ by seeing a world famous Gaian Erotic Consultant – also me. Trust me, he won’t be able to resist. Have him meet me for lunch tomorrow. We’ll chat about life and procreation – mine, that is. I’ve been getting rather hungry lately and am willing to make the sacrifice for you, Ms. VW, even if Morganites leave a bad taste in my mouths.

Dear Fluffy: My boyfriend Marlo and I have a disagreement and we want you to resolve it for us. I think running naked through the trees should be done in the morning so the dew clings to your skin, creating a glistening ring of cool droplets that caress the body. It’s exhilarating! Marlo loves to run at twilight when the last of the sultry breezes waft through the trees, bringing sweet pine scents that have a certain…enhancing power. We just can’t decide. Help us Fluffy! Signed – Sarah and Marlo

Dear S&M – Wow, I can see your problem. Luckily the solution is simple – do both! Set aside time in the morning and evening. This way you both can enjoy the scintillating pleasures of the dawn and dusk.

[Illuminatus]

Hydro

Gaia shall be reborn in our actions.
In this issue: *Twentieth Anniversary of Planetfall celebrated *Extremists make gains *Wonder child Dawn *Exclusive! Contact established with other survivors of Unity! *Templar Order of Muir *New native lifeform discovered! *Quote of the day *Entertainment *Other news in brief: *Literary section *Ask Fluffy *Contest *Hagar the Gaian Twentieth Anniversary of Planetfall celebrated Following 20th anniversary of the Planetfall, parade of the Gaian Defense Forces was held in Gaia's Landing. Mindworms, spore launchers, unity rovers, scout patrols, and Pegasus, were all members of the parade. Althrough that was not the intention, it is clear that Gaian Union currently has a sufficient army at disposal for exploration and defense. Most of units have been redeployed to the north for exploration tasks afterwards. Lady Deirdre Skye afterwards held a speech concerning the history of Gaian Union. She mentioned numerous achievements made in twenty years, and laid out future goals that include growth, exploration, expansion and progress. The fact that Gaian Union has done little to disrupt native life was also mentioned. Lindly, the leader of Gaian Youth also held a speech that made several remarks on the fact that in those twenty years entire Planetborn generation grew up into Gaians. "Earth is no longer home but a distant legend to us, but also Chiron is no longer alien to us, but our true home." Extremists make gains Althrough Ecological Malcontents movement has been banned by Lord Illuminatus, their sympathisers make gains in politics. On last elections for the Council 68 Lords that sympathise with the movement have been elected, making the possiblity that ban is revoked a reality. Lady Deirdre and all members of the High Council have refused to comment this. Begining of political resurrection of this movement started a year ago. Is this just the begining? Wonder child Dawn Today we visited the home of the Dawn family that has recently became famous for its child, Cha Dawn. As you probably already know, at the age of three, Cha Dawn is simply amazing! He already can walk, speak and read, he has already learned all about lower class mathematics and history, and test show that he has IQ of 265 for his age. Medical examination has shown that Cha Dawn is physically developing about 25 percent faster then other children of his age. Dawn family is at the same time both happy and worried with this. "We do not know who his biological parents were - we adopted him three years ago. He is truly a wonder child." We watched Dawn as he looked at nearby mindworm, almost mesmerised. He is attracted by native life, according to his parents. Empath Guild is very interested in the child, hoping it will show additional telepathic potential. Dawn parents have forbidden us to talk with Cha Dawn, saying they are very proud with him, but they do not want him to be under constant media siege, ever since he publically demonstrated giving simple orders to Promthea mindworm three weeks ago. We may give you an update soon. Exclusive! Contact established with other survivors of Unity! It appears that the remaining bridge crew of the Unity landed on the nearby Moon of Pholus with a colony pod containing only 20 survivors. Colony survives on supplies of frozen water that have been found and experts believe that the colony is sustainable for several hundred years. It seems that captain died, but rest of the command crew remained alive, with First Officer Drogue now in command. Lady Deirdre and First Officer Drogue had a long conversation over the commlink, and result was mutual acknowledgment of each others legitimacy. Gaian Union shall be considered as an indenpendent and sovereign country, while Drogue's authority shall be acknowledged in special issues. Pleads for assistance in technology, map information, energy and other kind were refused, claiming it would disrupt neutrality of the outpost. Planet Busting weapons were also mentioned, to the horror of Gaian Union. However three Pholus Lunar Newscasts have been transmitted to Gaian Union as part of information exchange. It was revealed that Kody is actually not a Gaian citizen, but member of the Outpost who faked his identity (he was seen only in media) using command protocols. This also explains why Kody misteriously disappeared 10 years ago just after Lord Illuminatus reformed information networks. Member of the Outpost, Snowflake has recently started to encourage spam (Serious Pollution and Malignity) in Gaian Union and has been warned that this is breaking the section Prime-1.12 of the Gaian Constitution. It is still to see if the warn has any effects. This solves the secret of mysterious radiotransmissions. Templar Order of Muir You are probably familiar of the Urho Castle in Gaia's Landing, the Headquarters of the Brotherhood. The castle was made of white sandstones found east of the capital and it is capable to house up to 4000 people. It is accessed through the city catacombs. Templars pledged long ago to defend Gaia's Landing with their lives if necessary, from any enemy that attacks it. Templar Order is known to communicate with High Council and Lady Deirdre, and Captain Laurentius is known to be high ranking in the Order. However, five hundred Templars remains secretive about their daily lives. We know who is the current Templar champion. Larth Cusu, famous for his swordfighting skill. When we ask a Templar about their goals, all they respond is to "serve the order" and "protect the Gaia". GAIA doesn't considers the Order potentially dangerous, and has cooperated with it several times. With Captain Laurentius away again, we cannot get allowance for a full interview. We will bring you more details on the issue in another occasion. New native lifeform discovered! While exploring a unity pod adrift, GDN Endeavor's Heart was suddenly surprised by a native liferform that suddenly surfaced and swallowed the pod! Subwater cameras recorded this The ship retreated quickly, and Isle of the Deep (nicknamed lifeform) did not follow. Instead it vent in the opposite direction from the Gaian lands. Lady Deirdre studied the data on the creature herself and this is what she concluded about the creature: "The Isle of the Deep is really not a single creature but a colony of thousands of individual tubules, an aquatic vector of the Mind Worm which terrorizes Planet's continents. Over its lifetime certain tubules secrete a tough, gluelike substance which hardens to form the characteristic shell that floats the colony and creates the appearance of a rogue island." From now on, GDN Endeavor's Heart and GDN Dauntless shall conduct joint ventures of exploring Unity pods, in case this lifeform appears again, in an effort to study it further. We will try to get an interview when GDN Endeavor's Heart returns to our base on the coast. Meanwhile watch the documentary on Green TV. Quote of the day Oh Goddess, Source of Gods and Mortals, All-Fertile, All-Destroying Gaia, Mother of All, Who brings forth the bounteous fruits and flowers, All variety, Maiden who anchors the eternal world in our own, Immortal, Blessed, crowned with every grace, Deep bosomed Earth, sweet plains and fields fragrant grasses in the nurturing rains, Around you fly the beauteous stars, eternal and divine, Come, Blessed Goddess, and hear the prayers of Your children, And make the increase of the fruits and grains your constant care, with the fertile seasons Your handmaidens, Draw near, and bless your supplicants. -Orphic Hymn to Gaia	Entertainment In this issue, we present you with sea shanty that our sailors sing while on a mission. It originates from the first mission of GDN Endevaor's Heart, but sailors aboard recently aquired GDN Dauntless also love the song. When Hydro and Cosmic and Colonyan, they walked the capstan round, Upon the strangest craft that was ever seaward bound, The music of their voices from tree to fungus rang, As they sang the first sea shanty that Gaian sailors ever sang... 'Twas in twentyone hundred and three In June, the thirteenth day That our Gunfoil her anchor weighed And for Hiveland sailed away, brave boys And for Hiveland sailed away. The lookout on the cross-trees stood With a spyglass in his hand There's a worm, there's a worm There's a wormfish, he cried, And she blows at every span, brave boys She blows at every span. The captain stood on the quarterdeck And a fine little Gaian was he Overhaul! Overhaul! Let your native nets do fall And launch your rafts for sea, brave boys And launch your rafts for sea. The rafts where launched with the men aboard And the Isle of the Deep was in view Resolved was each seaman bold To steer where the wormfish blew, brave boys To steer where the wormfish blew. We netted that Isle, and the line played out But she gave a flourish with her tail The raft capsized and four gaians were drowned And we never caught that Isle, brave boys And we never caught that Isle. To lose that worm, our captain said It grieves my heart full sore But, oh, to lose four gallant men It grieves me ten times more, brave boys It grieves me ten times more. The winter star doth now appear So, boys, we'll anchor weigh It's time to leave this cold country And homeward bear away, brave boys And homeward bear away. Oh, Hiveland is a dreadful place A land that's never green Where there's ice and snow And the worm fishes blow And daylight's seldom seen, brave boys And daylight's seldom seen.' Today on Green TV: apart from your favorite shows, remember to watch the final part of the Lord of teh Trees trilogy: Return of the Gardener. Also, check the documentary about GDN Dauntless, and their first encounter with the dreaded Isle of the Deep! In cooperation with PLO, we present you a sitcom, "A day in mods life" - watch pilot episode tonight! Also watch CGI movie - A worm's life! Soon - documentary about voyages of GDN Endeavor's Heart Other news in brief: *Cartoonist mysteriosly brought back to life: makes new episodes. *Gaian Navy Doubles in size after exploration of a Unity Pod *Lord Illuminatus loses documents: other Lords laugh at him *Other factions surprised with speed of publishment of this issue *Readers accuse this newspaper for mindreading *Lord Octavian eats half of xedoughnut yields: farmers surprised *Gaian scientist report nearing to end of research of Advanced Japanisation (E3) *Cartoonist accused for publishing episodes in Recreation Commons *One word in this sentence is wrong Literary section Lady Deirdre Publishes A Comparative Biology of Planet - be sure to read it! Updated with newest information on Isle of the Deeps First compilation of Gaian Acolyte's Prayers published - quality poetry! Voyages of Endevaor's Heart published by Lord Cosmic. How to raise an Empath child - straight from Empath Guild The place of Empaths in modern society by Lord Maelstorm Advertisement Lord of Diplomatic Affairs looks for skillful diplomats for diplomatic negotiatons. If you are not seasick join the Gaian Defense Navy! Join the navy, visit an explore strange new lands and enjoy the trip! New Museum of Arts opens in Fallow Time next week. Possible contestants for Gaian Olympics apply to Council of Lords Subcomittee for Sports. If you wish to join the faction use this (advised to contact Illuminatus about this) Treehugging is good for your health! Hug tree at least twice a week (warning: do not confuse trees and cactuses ) Ask Fluffy Fluffy, the long-time companion of Lady Deirdre Skye, has been asked for his Planet-wise advice for years. Now this advice comes to you. Dear Fluffy: I’ve hear the term ‘former rush’ for years and it’s been driving me crazy! What is a ‘former rush’, and how exactly does a former rush? This doesn’t make sense. Help! Signed – Very Confused Dear VC – I can understand your confusion, and I’m here to help! First, let’s look at the origin of the words. ‘Former’ means one who makes or builds. Now, a rush is pliable reed that can be used to construct useful items like baskets or furniture. So, this means that a ‘former rush’ is a type of reed that is used by skilled artisans. Simple! Dear Fluffy: I’m beside myself with worry. My 14 year old daughter Mally has been seeing this Morganite businessman who is at least 30 years older than her! He showers her with gifts and tells her she loves her and that she’s beautiful. She’s drifted away from me, and I think she may run away with Mr. Wonderful. I don’t know what to do! Help me Fluffy! Signed –Very Worried Dear VW – I’m glad you came to me, and not a moment too soon. Your concern is real, and I can help. First, tell your daughter that you support her decision and want to help her in strengthen her love. To do that, send her to a guidance counselor – me. I’ll lay it on the line, and let her know what is really happening. Also, tell Mr. Wonderful that he needs to enhance his ‘performance’ by seeing a world famous Gaian Erotic Consultant – also me. Trust me, he won’t be able to resist. Have him meet me for lunch tomorrow. We’ll chat about life and procreation – mine, that is. I’ve been getting rather hungry lately and am willing to make the sacrifice for you, Ms. VW, even if Morganites leave a bad taste in my mouths. Dear Fluffy: My boyfriend Marlo and I have a disagreement and we want you to resolve it for us. I think running naked through the trees should be done in the morning so the dew clings to your skin, creating a glistening ring of cool droplets that caress the body. It’s exhilarating! Marlo loves to run at twilight when the last of the sultry breezes waft through the trees, bringing sweet pine scents that have a certain…enhancing power. We just can’t decide. Help us Fluffy! Signed – Sarah and Marlo Dear S&M – Wow, I can see your problem. Luckily the solution is simple – do both! Set aside time in the morning and evening. This way you both can enjoy the scintillating pleasures of the dawn and dusk. Contest Winner of the previous contest is: Pedro "Maniac" Riveira of the Spartan Federation! Upon receiving HQ coordinates prize shall be delivered to him. Meanwhile, here is replacement prize - an interesting test, fit for a Spartan. For a more Gaian type of prize we also offer him this wallpaper. For disrupting contest we present Micha with a antiprize - a week of vacation in Brood Pit. Meanwhile new contest is at hand - to win this contest you need to write up a short story why do you like/hate mindworms. The most humorous one shall win the contest. As before, PM the publisher. Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, Smacksim and Hydro. No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever. No Gaian life has been harmed, and the cartoonist who was struck by mysterious divine lightning is fine again, most of staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles. In next issue read: possible update of the report of Templar order of Muir, story about training in Empath Guild, special report on Ecological Malcontents and report on native life and ecology! Gaia'sLandingMY2120.011011645.tr10f.
Hagar the Gaian* in episode: Sealurk *Hagar the Gaian is not in any way stealing or copying the original Hagar the Horrible. All rights are reserved to author of Hagar the Horrible, Chris Browne. This comic uses graphics of the comic with the respect towards the author and comic, and does not intend to claim any of the rights reserved for author. We do nto not intend to disgrace the author and the character in any way, and if author requests, comic shall be removed. We appreciate the talent of the author and quality of the comic.

[Illuminatus]

/me drops several suggestions: