Hive IC story - Discussion

[Kody]

I figured it would be better if brickering, planning, insults, congratulations, collaboration, clarifications would occur in a seperate thread.

Kody

[Kody]

HongHu,

Can I adjust your posts, so I can fill in details for Claire escaping. That's the main thing I've been hinting at and now directly asking? It is far too impolite to change people's posts without their permission. That is why I've been going to all this trouble explaining myself and the reasons why the posts need adjustments.

What I'm planning on doing is having Claire waking up, but Wujiang refusing to let her go (because his life is at stake). Your character "HongHu" comes to the rescue of of Claire and is the one that organised the replacement test subject. The flirting can stay in there and be partially successful. However Wujiang will have some brain this time and not throw his life away for a few caresses.

I assumed that this story line will be okay.

Kody

[Snowflake]

Sorry Kody that I haven't replied sooner to your post, I've been thinking about it all these time. In addition I've been trying to learn a little more about the game so that people won't say that all that I'm doing is spamming here.

Anyway, yes you have my permission to adjust my post in order to make the story flows better. However I don't like the idea of HongHu holding a gun. (Hmmm, what an awful picture, HongHu and a gun? )

But seriously, I think that it only leads naturally that Claire was not really unconcious at the time from Jam's post:

He had a problem... this was taking too long. The drugs in the dart-pistol should have worn off 4 hours ago. A glance at the woman sprawled on the couch in the corner confirmed that they still hadn't.

On the other hand, it would be quite abrupt if HongHu appears because she has no way of knowing that Claire was with Wujang. Plus, if Claire couldn't even handle Wujiang by herself, she wouldn't be the idol that lives in every Hiver's dreams. In fact she could be long dead before she even meets with Wujiang.

Another point, the details of the operation does not have to be in my post. Either Wujang or Vander, Tass too, for that matter, would very likely has (horrified) memories about the operation which prevented them to go to sleep easily. Wujiang has so many things to think about. Did he do a stupid thing to risk his life for this girl who could never come back and see him again? This Wujiang is different, remember?

This Wujiang was strange... hardly seemed like a scientist at all... most scientists didn't have the common sense to be scared of him...

Would Claire found her true love in a low rank nobody? Well I'm thinking too far ahead now. Time to stop.

[Snowflake]

Oh, and why is it so crucial to the story that the operation should be successful with Claire? If it is that crucial that the operation should be successful on the first day of the research, then I give up on that point. But it doesn't have to be Claire does it, other than all of you guys wish so?

[Kody]

HongHu,

The line "Forlani knows Wujiang’s secret longing for her for a long time." seems to suggest that Claire was actually paying attention. I'm not suggesting that Claire is serious about her flirting, but I figured that Wujiang was not powerful enough to get noticed.

Dear Kody, females are much more complicated than computer codes. You still need to learn more about them. Ask around, or read a couple romantic novels. You'll see the why.

As for not knowing enough about females. Well that's probably true. However, you should give me some credit :P. Programming is something I'm good at, writing is something I enjoy. I'm actually more interested in writing stories that coding and have some knowledge of characterisation. The way Claire acted towards Wujiang made it clear that Claire had a low opinion of Wujiang. Hardly a romantic interest.

I also made the assumption that Claire and Wujiang have never met or rarely met. Unless Claire is actually falling in love in Wujiang, which isn't likely due to reasons stated above, then Claire wouldn't notice Wujiang.

Furthermore, if Wujiang and Claire have met it would be at a formal event. Where Claire would too be busy making her presence know to everyone and wouldn't have time to observe any of the lesser people at the function.

That's my reasoning for why I didn't think the line "Forlani knows Wujiang’s secret longing for her for a long time." was correct.

Also note that most of this reasoning was made by most probable assumptions. However, in stories you don't use improbable assumptions without telling the reader, unless you're aiming for an unexpected twist. However, it was unlikely you were aiming for an unexpected twist as it would be too difficult to setup the right circumstances without significant collaboration with the other people involved in the story.

Sorry I wasn't clear. I didn't mean that Vev said that the operation had failed. I meant that Vev has provided the means of destroying evidence:

I talked to Vev, and neither he nor I understand what you're talking about. I think you misread this line "Plus Jamski does not sound like the forgiving type and will probably dispose of Wujiang, Tass and Vander in the lab if they fail to carry out their duties". That was referring to Jamski disposing of Wujiang, Tass and Vander not disposing of the test subject.

Hmmm, what an awful picture, HongHu and a gun?

No problem, HongHu won't hold a gun.

On the other hand, it would be quite abrupt if HongHu appears because she has no way of knowing that Claire was with Wujang.

Already thought about this. Remember that butterfly badge Claire has.

Did he do a stupid thing to risk his life for this girl who could never come back and see him again? This Wujiang is different, remember?

He is risking his life. However, things work much better if there's no obvious good choice. The obvious good choice was to continue the operation on Claire. However, if you balance the choices a little by having the situation of screwed if you continue the operation and screwed if you don't. Then it's much more interesting and realistic having Wujiang chosing to let Claire go free as his logic come to a stalemate, so he let his personal feelings choose for him.

Actually I think I'm rambling now, so I'll stop here.
*starts writing up the backstory*

Kody

[Kody]

I've decided to move my non-ic posts from the IC story thread to here instead.

Originally posted by Kody on Hive IC story 25-06-2003 17:58
Good Grief!

I was attempting to do the back story for the mindworm operation, and I have figured out it's entirely impossible due to inconsistancy.

There are two possibilities that can be done with minimal changes to people's posts.

1. The operation went ahead and claire was forced to believe what is HongHu wrote.

2. The Claire actually left and the operation went ahead on some unknown girl.

The problems with the first option is according to HongHu Wujiang is in hand and glove with Claire. While there's a post by Vev contradicting that in Wujiang's meeting with Tassadar. Also the girl that appears on the table appears out of nowhere!!!! Furthermore, I thought Wujiang was realtively unpowerful. Why would Claire be interested in Wujiang when she's chasing after the big rollers.

The problem with the second option is firstly that Jamski confirms that Claire escaped and had a meeting with HongHu. So for the second option Jamski's post will have to be erased, and HongHu's second post rewritten to add in the time laspe of the operation.

Whatever happens at least two posts have to be adjusted.

Do people want to fix their posts? Or should I maybe adjust the posts myself.

Something really ought to be done, as things stand there's a girl (either Claire or a nameless girl) lying on the operation table. The operation really needs to be done as it will greatly effect what Wujiang, Tassadar and Vander do next. So basically they're limited in what can be written about them until that issue is figured out.

Originally posted by Kody on Hive IC story 26-06-2003 08:56
What you still haven't given me is permission to make the post adjustments. :P

I'll keep your outcome of the story, but some of the details still need to be cleaned up in your post. Like where the heck they managed to make a different test subject appear from. Also Wujiang has his life at stake, so I doubt he would be so easily swayed by female guiles. Something more drastic like HongHu pointing a gun at Wujiang, and HongHu arranging the new test subject.

The problem isn't that the story isn't going to plan. If you noticed very little planning. Rather because nobody could figure out exactly what happened in the laboratory, people involved in that section just stopped writing. (Vev is hopping that someone else will resolve the operation issue and is attempting to move on)

Kody

Originally posted by Kody on Hive IC story 26-06-2003 10:04

"A possible answer to this is that the operation failed and evidences destroyed (as described in Vev's post)"

Vev doesn't have a post that describes that. I reread this thread and there's nothing that says that.

The line "Forlani knows Wujiang’s secret longing for her for a long time." seems to suggest that Claire was actually paying attention. I'm not suggesting that Claire is serious about her flirting, but I figured that Wujiang was not powerful enough to get noticed. This isn't an important point though.

By the way most people I have talked to want the operation to go ahead on Claire. I only decided to go with your story since I'm aiming for minimal changes. Also it'll be easier for me to get Vev's permission to rewrite one of his posts than it will be to get Jamski's permission. (Since Jamski is currently away moving house).

As for where the story is going. Well Vev said he's expecting that the marshall is going to hold his birthday party. He was hoping everyone could attend and also that forcing everyone together would mean what exactly happened in the operation would be resolved in the talking that occurs.

Kelvin was going to wander in get caught and become someone's pawn. But he ended up becoming some kind of empath with some kind of control over mindworms.

Tassadar, Vev and I were trying to do a joint post earlier about the operation Claire, and the posts on Kelvin were edited because of something that happened in the experiment. However, this idea was given up on as nobody could figure out a story line that could actually work.

Vev currently wants more infighting between the two internal factions. I better ask Vev if he wants his more specific plans to be revealed. At the moment I'm trying to convince vev that it would be better to have a minor mindworm outbreak inside the base and a whole bunch of accusations can occur on who's fault it was.

Kody

[Kody]

HongHu,

Thanks for all the compliments you've been posted in various threads.

Kody

[Snowflake]

And I'll make sure I come here and post any and all compliments regarding the IC story in the future.

[Snowflake]

The Chairman and I have done a joint post (rather unexpectedly by either of us) and I'm trying to type it out now. I'll hopefully post it tonight or tomorrow.

[Kody]

That sounds good, I look forward to seeing the new section of story when you post it.

Kody

[Kody]

HongHu, and Voltaire,

Is it my imagination or are your posts the same scene with different conversations.

Kody

[Snowflake]

It is the same scene, the conversation continues from my post to the Chairman's post. We just each did a part.

[Vev]

Jamski, we need you! Oh well, I guess we could work on side stories on other characters.

[Vev]

Oh yes, for those interested, Kostya is now up for grabs. He is in a state hospital recovering from burns. I am holding on to Gavril as I have special plans for him - (he is in hardly any state to interact normally now).

[Nubclear]

Greetings Comrades! Can anybody hear me? Good. I am wondering if I may recieve an update. I am too lazy to read through all the posts and try to make sense of them (No offense HongHu, I still love you ). Please read this message. Thanks. Dosvedanya, Tovarish.

(I got sick of seeing size 72 font - Kody)