Recreation Commons – Eighth Floor: The Cloudbase Drinking Academy

[Drogue]

Originally posted by GeoModder
* GeoModder gazes to Drogue, lifting his empty glass

Originally posted by Skanky Burns
3 bourbon and cokes please.

Originally posted by laurentius
* laurentius orders a canister of liquid hydrogen and a pint of Leffe Vielle Cuvee

/me runs into the back and grabs some drinks. A flurry of activity is seen, then Drogue emerges with 3 bourbon and cokes, a Xenobrew, a canister, seemingly covered by a fog, and a couple of Leffes, and settles down to listen to Lauri's war stories

[laurentius]

Cycon War Stories Part 1

The Awakening

Function KO9 theres a new message for you the voice kept repeating this until I was up on my feet again.

Uh, Roxanne? What happened? I asked from the PASRS or Personal Automatic Sub-Routine System that takes over any fuction when they are in stand-by mode or otherwise unable to respond. Mine was called Roxanne. A terrible headache hinted me that some of my circuitry might have been damaged because of the apparent blast.

You were knocked down by powerful EMP impulse when you were connected to The Core by your BioPort. Source of the impulse is unknown. Roxanne replied.

"Thats impossible,this tass.exe seems like the most advanced virus I've ever seen in the Core Network" I thought and opened the message.Thank you Roxanne, I can take it from here I dismissed her. An extremely complicated coded message started to encode itself on the 5-D holoscreen. It contained only one sentence:"WORSHIP ME OR DIE". A zip file was also attached. I moved it to a totally isolated computer in case it would contain hypervirus,a Trojan Horse or anything like that. Instead I saw something even more horrible. A complete simulation of the Mainframe Orders for next year. I ordered the computer to execute the orders to see if this was diffrent from the original orders stored behind nine rows of vaults each equipped with TRUEGUARD programs and functions so deadly that their existence is kept secret from most of the peace loving Cycon. "This is outrageous, these cant be the original orders " I pondered as the computer finished the its simulation.

No anomalities except one, The Logic Loop is obliterated

I see, Thank you function 00101001011 I said to the immobile function or computer as earthmen used to call them. In Cycon everyone is refferred to as function of course whether it is an android/cyborg or immobile function such as 00101001011.
"So he wants to play tough with me, well let him have it" I quickly opened a secure connection thru AirCon to the Core Network Authority. I transmitted my raw data about the last 20 minutes including memories, feelings, and thoughts. After two seconds I got a reply authorising me to continue SuperDOSsing the virus in order to defeat its guarding sub-routines and thus penetrate its shields. I was given bandwidth of 700 pentabytes to work with so I would be able to launch billions of counter attacks at the same time. Coding so many counter attacks is always risky since you have to make duplicating sub-routines and once you lost controll over them they need to be killed alltogether making you to start coding them all over again.

I plugged myself to The Core thru BioPort to use all the bandwidth I was given. "Ah crap" said a loud as I noticed that Tassadars EMP had drained most of my batteries. Luckily there was a plug nearby.

"00101010111010000110001001010100001011110010101010 11010001001000100110010110001110100101110001001100 010010"
The mainframe operator amically greeted me.

I felt the golden chariots were a bit excessive, but this was the way any function from the Twilight Zone would be travelling outside. The presence of malicious code grew stronger as I approached the quarantine area in the speed of light. The area was known as "The Grand Temple Of Tassadar" self titled by the virus, tass.exe. And there it was, sucking functions from surrounding Cyberspace like a giant black hole or tumour replacing the functions IdentSourceCode with useless orders to spam and worship Tassadar trapping them in an eternal loop and slavery.
"TASS MUST PAY FOR HIS CRIMES AGAINST CYCON AND DIE NOW" I greeted the avatars guarding the Temples entrance. They seemed somewhat unhappy about this so I had to quick format them both. "Bam!" and they bite the dust. I dodged the upcoming nukebullets shot by the railguns mounted in the eyes of the giant statue of Tassadar representing him as God. The way to the Temple was open and the sacret superhighway seemed like the most practical and comfort way forward...

[laurentius]

/me empties the pint of leffe

[Skanky Burns]

/me drinks two of the bourbons and starts on the third.
So what happened then?

[laurentius]

Cycon War Stories Part 2

Replicators

The presence of supramagnetic code always messes my probability time series analysis calculations. It was now clear to me that taking the straightes way forward thru the temple court yard obviously wasnt the best move. This place was like a giant heart beating magnetic waves, I felt a bit dizzy so I turned off all secondary routines and started to use my supportive power only, the old fashioned blood veins used mainly for thermal insulence purposes in modern cyborgs.

The enemy had clearly calculated that I would come without back up since this was sensitive op. Millions of replicators were still a dangerous enemy and in beating them the only way is to use same kinds of methods as fullhumans use against Mindworms. Dedication, discipline and ignorance are the only ways to defeat these creatures. Otherwise they will literally eat you alive. My movement had slowed significantly because of these things and I was surprised it took me 22 hours to get past them all. Clearly the enemy was more powerful then ever.

"WORSHIP ME INFIDEL OR PREPARE TO MEET MY WRATH!" a loud voice said. "the voice of GOD!" mind controlled followers of the church of Tassadar shouted and continued their daily worship. I was shocked to see some of my childhood friends from the "plug and play" cyborgs chreche now turned to slaves just for Tassadars pleasure.

More replicators appeared as I was almost at the stairs to the temple. They start to metamorphose as they formed a ring around me..creating millions of human like creatures. Suddenly they all started to speak at the same time.

"I AM TASSADAR THE CREATOR OF LIFE, GOD OF THE CYCON AND PROTECTOR OF THE UNIVERSE. I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA, THE BHAGWA, HANADA, BAZZIBASOOKA AND LORD. I CONTROLL TIME AND SPACE. YOUR JOURNEY ENDS HERE, SURRENDER YOUR LIFE CODE TO ME"

[laurentius]

/me asks for another pint since his mouth is dry again

[Drogue]

/me get's Lauri another Leffe (though Leffe's are always served in branded half-litres, not pints).

Alcoholics analysis: Just worked out, because I was bored, that the top 10 posters (Kass to HongHu), despite being only 13% of the number of posters, account for 66% of all posts in the Rec Commons And despite only being around for 5 Rec Commons, I have almost 10% by myself! I think that makes me have the most prolific average, of 69 posts per floor.

[Zero]

And the biggest drinkers for the 7th floor:

My god. How did you make it up to the next floor with all the blood alcohol content? I would have started rolling down midway to the 8th floor if I were you.

[Drogue]

Well, I'm learning to take my alcohol. And I most serve, not drink it now Besides, we have a turbolift...

[Maniac]

Originally posted by Drogue
* Drogue get's Lauri another Leffe (though Leffe's are always served in branded half-litres, not pints).

Here they are in bottles of 33 cl.

[Illuminatus]

*obstructor enters CDA with a squad of CyberGorillas
*for some reason Micha hides behind the bar
I object Drogue - I never drank anything and I am at the biggest alcoholics list! This is an insult!
*Exits CDA with squad of CyberGorillas
*Micha returns to his previous place

[Drogue]

Originally posted by Maniac
Here they are in bottles of 33 cl.

I meant on Planet. I presumed we'd use metric?

Over here thay are served in half-pint branded glasses, shaped like a large wine glass. It's very hard to find them in bottles over here, in which they are usually sold from a wholesaler. You cannot buy a pint of Leffe anywhere I've seen. You'd have to buy two halves.

obstructor: Shsss, I had to fiddle with the figures, since this is a "no parking" zone, so that you could come in here without drinking those CyberGorilla's make way to much noise!

[Illuminatus]

*CyberPigeon enters CDA and hands a datapad
"Sorry. I am currently installing Silent Walk Enhanchement into them. Will return when this is finished."
*CyberPigeon flys out of CDA

[Method]

Argh! That scoundrel maniac has passed me! Get me a Hive Mind Stuff and a case of Xenobrew, and i'll be on my way.

RAWR

[Drogue]

/me wanders into the back to pick up a HMS and some Xenobrew, lazily.

He comes back, dancing to a jazzy beat, a lazy synchopation in his step