Digital Data Download (3D) - Issue 5.1

[Drogue]

This is a 3D Extra newsflash! Hot off the press, bringing you the news, as it happens, even when the systems are down and the usual pictures do not show. Welcome, to Issue 5.1 of 3D


PEACE War – The End is Nigh! - by Drogue Beta-8

The CyCon government has issued a press statement, saying that they have now captured Sealurk Channel and Casablanca from PEACE, bringing the total number of captured bases to 5. It is now obvious to all that the might of the CyCon army will overwhelm PEACE, it is just a question of when.

Since victory is now assured, CyCon discussion has turned to reconciliation, to the issues of what will happen to all the ex-PEACE citizens, and to our diplomatic status. We wish no ill will to any PEACE citizen, which is why the government is to offer them full asylum. PEACE members who join would become full CyCon citizens, with all the rights that entails. A proposal is currently being drawn up, but will be sent to PEACE as soon as it is ready, with our proposals in detail.

In the spirit of enhancing our diplomatic status, and gaining commerce, the CyCon government has decided to offer a Pact to all remaining human nations. We believe in not repeating the mistakes of the past, and wish to choose co-operation over competition, and hope all factions will consider this offer carefully, and decide whether they wish to heighten their friendship with the CyCon. All comments on trade and diplomacy should be forwarded to External Function Mani Alpha-3 until the end of January, and then to Prime Function Drogue Beta-8, who will step down and take over the role of External Affairs Function.


Or as one reader joked:

What do you call a pirate in the ocean?
OWNED

What do you call a pirate on dry land?
OWNED

What do you call a pirate in a cyborg factory?
OWNED

What do you call a Pirate under the waves?
Already OWNED

...come to think of it, Pirates are OWNED.


What's the difference between a Pirate and a Gypsy?
“Owned? ”


What's the difference between PEACE and a Penthouse?
One's rented, the other's OWNED.

How are water-susceptible circuitry and salty sea dogs similar?
Cyborgs have them both COMPLETELY COVERED.

These jokes are the work or readers, and bear no relation to the opinions of the editor or 3D itself.



Edited by Drogue Beta-8

[Maniac]

A great issue, Drogue!

[Method]

I do believe it's spelled "0-w-n-e-d"

meh. i take it we won the war then?

[Method]

yes, so that should read as follows:

What do you call a pirate in the ocean?
0WNED

[Maniac]

From the same reader:

"What's the difference between a plot of land and the PEACE?"
You never really own a plot of land.

[Maniac]

Originally posted by Method
meh. i take it we won the war then?

Well our 5461654-variable analysis already indicated at the start of the war CyCon victory was assured, but around now the result should become pretty obvious even to previous disbelievers.

[Drogue]

Originally posted by Method
I do believe it's spelled "0-w-n-e-d"

meh. i take it we won the war then?

Originally posted by Method
yes, so that should read as follows:

What do you call a pirate in the ocean?
0WNED

You are correct, except since I was quoting, I could not change them.

And technically, it should be 0WN3D

[GeoModder]

And what is a PEACE-plotter after encounter of with a Cyborg?

A navigation computer

[Nubclear]

Originally posted by Drogue


You are correct, except since I was quoting, I could not change them.

And technically, it should be 0WN3D

0\\//\\////\\//3|)

[Drogue]

Yes, but OWNED just looks better.

To guess who wrote them is pretty easy, but there is a line written by someone else. The first non-Cyborg to guess which line it is, and who wrote that line, get's free drinks all day in the Rec Commons

[Enigma_Nova]

...
Yes, I'm the resident OWNED dude.

And yes, once again I make a Typo that looks like a real word.
Pennyhouse == Penthouse

BTW I revised the gypsy joke:
What's the difference between a Pirate and a Prostitute?
A prostitute still has some dignity left.

And the line with the is clearly not mine.

[Drogue]

Let's make it simple. Anyone that was not present at in the conversation can guess who said that line.

I left out the Pirate and Protitute joke because even though they're not CyCon work, it seemed a little to far for a CyCon newspaper to go. PEACE have dignity, just not an army

[foolish_icarus]

PEACE have dignity, just not an army

sadly true.

[GeneralTacticus]

So how many bases does the PEACE have left, if you've captured five?

[Jamski]

Don't you have infilteration ?

-Jam