The Recreation Commons - Seventh Floor : Thermocline Tavern

[laurentius]

Originally posted by Micha

Strange... Finland, huh?

Yeah

the worst part was that most of the bands were from norway or austria, not to mention the horrible german one, but that one was 'power metal' anyway

Drogue, could I have two xenodoppelbocks for me and my friend micha here? I just cant talk about metal and stay sober at the same time.

/me walks to the juke-box, dials a play list containing german cerberus and selected speeches from miriam godwinson.

Wich one first micha?

[Micha]

Originally posted by laurentius
Drogue, could I have two xenodoppelbocks for me and my friend micha here? I just cant talk about metal and stay sober at the same time.

* laurentius walks to the juke-box, dials a play list containing german cerberus and selected speeches from miriam godwinson.

Wich one first micha?

Heh, I think Miriam is fine then

Thanks for the doppelbock. Kind of early, though

[Drogue]

Originally posted by GeneralTacticus
Drogue, do you have any scumble? In bottle form, preferably.

Not that I know of, but given some details, I'm sure I could make some in about 20-30 minutes. I'm presuming it's something like scrumpy, an apple drink that's based on cider?

[Drogue]

Originally posted by Kody
A pussy in the hand is worth two birds in the bushes.

Of course, a pussy can easily catch both birds, so you get the two birds and the pussy. You get to have your cake and eat it

[Drogue]

Originally posted by laurentius
Drogue, could I have two xenodoppelbocks for me and my friend micha here? I just cant talk about metal and stay sober at the same time.

Coming up

/me slides a couple of Xenobrew doppelbocks into Lauri and Micha's waiting hands.

Originally posted by Micha
Thanks for the doppelbock. Kind of early, though

Not any more it isn't, sorry for the wait

[Jamski]

Wow, real Doppelbocks in the rec commons

/me wants one too *

-Jam

[Drogue]

No, Xenobrew doppelbocks Real beer is extremely hard to come by on Planet. Indeed, my personal stash our stock is nearly out after the last party

/me get's a Xenobrew doppelbock and places it in front of Jamski.

[Micha]

*Micha raises his voice and says the toast:*
Hopfen und Malz, ab in den Hals! (hop and malt, down the throat!)

[GeneralTacticus]

Originally posted by Drogue

Not that I know of, but given some details, I'm sure I could make some in about 20-30 minutes. I'm presuming it's something like scrumpy, an apple drink that's based on cider?

Uh... basically. It's made from apples... well, mostly apples.

[Jamski]

Prost!

-Jam

[Kassiopeia]

Uh... basically. It's made from apples... well, mostly apples.

What has helped ugly people get laid for centuries, whilst traditionally being the greatest cause of insanity in a quarter of England? Yup- it's scrumpy.

This drink is often confused with cider, but not by anyone who's ever drunk the West Country's apple-based brain-scourer. The crucial differences follow-

1- If you can see through it, it isn't scrumpy.

2- It has to be strained through hay in the brewing process. This adds to the rustic flavours, and general cloudiness.

3- The pips of the apples have to be crushed in the presses, otherwise you miss out on all the fun of progressive mental deterioration caused by the toxic pip innards.

4- Rotting meat. Meat should be thrown into the kegs to add colour and flavour as it ferments. Traditionally this was by lobbing in any rats caught around the farm, but these days a raw pork or lamb chop is frequently used.

5- Scrumpy is never served by pump or tap. They'd clog up.

6- If it tastes vaguely of apples but you have to chew before swallowing then you're either drinking scrumpy or the contents of a spittoon in a scrumpy house. It's an easy mistake to make.

A dead giveaway is the "Ack!" factor. Unlike most alcoholic drinks, with scrumpy a point is reached where it becomes physically impossible to drink any more. This is because your mouth has dried out, a strange, sticky paste is sticking your tongue to your palate and gums, and your swallowing reflex no longer works. At that point, the phrase "Ack!" will be exclaimed by the stricken drinker, and the wise old men in the scrumpy house will nod sagely, yet sympathetically. They understand.

There is also the most famous attribute of scrumpy, which is that some people just cannot handle it at all. Bizarrely, it's usually hardened beer or spirits drinkers who are affected by this. Everyone has heard tales of how 12-pint a night beer monsters sink three pints of scrumpy and have to be taken home in a wheelbarrow. I've seen this happen, while light social drinkers carry on drinking regardless. Scrumpy is pretty strong, but it also has some kind of toxic kick that some livers just can't deal with, and it's usually the ones accustomed to shrugging off a couple of gallons of Guinness that keel over like the consumptive heroines of Victorian melodramas.

Scrumpy is not cider. It's more accurate to consider it to be the rural hick cousin of Absinthe- while it's made little contribution to the world of 19th century continental art and poetry, it's certainly caused its share of biochemical lobotomy. The best part of all this is that I've just collected my annual helping. It's strictly illegal, sold round the back of a barn in a washed-out plastic container that used to hold Castrol engine oil. It's so murky that it looks like the piss of one who's spent 20 years overdosing on anabolic steroids and is now shedding 100 pounds of muscle tissue in three weeks via his failing kidneys. Lovely stuff. Grab yourself one for Christmas!

Courtesy of Lazarus and the Gimp's blog.

[Drogue]

Ahhh, scrumpy is even worse than I thought A Google search revealed that scumble is Discworld speak for scrumpy

I've managed to throw something to gether that classifies as "sort of like cider, but with a kick" Hope you like it!

/me slides an imperial pint of a cloudy, greenish liquid-like substance (you don't feel like being particularly specific about this sort of substance) in front of the General.

Spoiler:

BTW, I got some Xenocider, added some homemade apple liqor, some sugar, a little brewers yeast and a few little ingredients found around the bar

[GeneralTacticus]

Right, thanks. Give me the bill afterwards.

/me cautiously opens the bottle, sniffs, runs a sample through a chemical analysis device, then pours a small glass, drinks, and very slowly falls over.

[GeneralTacticus]

/me lifts his head very slightly, and winces.

Urk... evidently the anti-intoxication pills need a bit more work.

/me lets his head drop again.

[Drogue]

I propose a drinking challenge

I challenge the Uni to come up with an anti-intoxication pill that can survive a specially made CyCon cocktail

The prize: a party is held, and the loser pays the tab