who can be blamed for thVIs mes6 ? [civ6 review]

[Thoth]

ED BEACH'S CIVILIZATION 6 IS REALLY GREAT SO FAR, A REAL GOOD ARGUMENT TO AT LEAST LET HIM OFF EASY ON THE CHILD PORN INVESTIGATION -- HAS LOTS OF INNOVATIONS AND HIDDEN EASTER EGGS, IN FACT THE DAY-NIGHT CYCLE ACTUALLY SETTLES A LONG-RUNNING ISSUE WITH THE SERIES BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE TIME SCALE OF THE TURNS, E.G. OH HOW DOES IT TAKE AN ARCHER 10 YEARS TO GET ACROSS A SMALL CHANNEL!? WELL THE ANSWER IS HERE IDIOTS ITS BECAUSE BASED ON THIS DAY NIGHT CYCLE THE EARTH ONLY ROTATES AROUND THE SUN ONCE EVERY 50 YEARS DOES ANYONE ELSE MISS THE '''LAWYER'' UNIT FROM ACTIVISION'S CIVILIZATION CALL TO POWER TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT EDITION? BASICALLY ONCE YOU UNLOCK JUDAISM YOU CAN SPAM SMUG-FACED BRIEFCASE CARRYING LAWYERS WHO COULD MARCH THROUGH THE MAP AND WAVE THEIR LEGAL PADS AND ISSUE 'INJUNCTIONS' AGAINST ENEMY CITIES, BRINGING PRODUCTION TO A HALT WHILE THE FRIVILOUS LITIGATION WAS SETTLED BY YOUR OWN COUNSEL, TO MY KNOWLEDGE BASED ON THE PRINTED BUT - UNOFFICIAL COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT EDITION OF THE ACTIVISION CIVILIZATION CALL TO POWER TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT EDITION STRATEGRY GUIDE, THE ONLY COUNTERS TO THIS WERE EITHER UNLOCKING ISLAM, OR USING YOUR PLANES TO CARPET BOMB THE ENEMY LAWYER ARMIES AS THEY APPEARED ON THE HORIZON

LAWYER UNIT OR NOT BASED ON HOW GOOD CIV 6 IS, AND AGAIN ASSUMING THE FBI CAN'T MAKE ANYTHING STICK, (LOL LOOKS LIKE BEACH NEEDS A LAWYER UNIT ) I WOULD SAY THERE IS ONLY A 5-10% CHANCE ED BEACH SUFFERS THE JON SHAFER FATE AND HAS TO MOVE BACK IN WITH MOM, PUT ON THE PUPPEY EYES AND STRIP FOR MONEY ON KICKSTARTER

This is quite possibly the best game review ever. Thank you Wiggy.

[Giancarlo]

http://www.cdkeys.com/pc/games/sid-meiers-civilization-vi-6-pc-steam

Well my favorite site has it for sale at $49~ (that does change daily). Steam code only.

I'll wait. I did get Mad Max for $6~ and Doom (2016 edition) for $20~. So better to wait.

[Egbert]

This 8s quite possibly the best RANT ever. Thank you Wiggy.

FTFY

[Sir Og]

I'm with Sava.
The game feels too much like work after turn 100-120.

Trades and spies can probably be fixed by some optional automation but I see no way around moving all the units you make around.

[Ming]

That was the problem with Civ V and I had hoped they would fix it.
Combat in the later years was so tedious that it sucked the fun out of the game.

[Jon Miller]

Yeah, that was a big problem.

The people I saw in mid/early game didn't really have it so I hoped it as fixed. Of course, for Civ5 it wasn't a problem in the early game either.

JM

[Ming]

True enough... the early game, you didn't have the carpet of doom yet

And again, even the auto move didn't help because it was so stupid that it would move your units off the road.
It was simply amazing sometimes the path your units took if you used auto move. It could take 20x the normal number of turns for a unit to get somewhere.

[Wiglaf]

COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NUMBER OF UNITS ARE AS EASY FOR ED BEACH TO DODGE AS SUBPOENAS FOR HIS BROWSING HISTORY BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 2 -3 AM IN HIS CANDYLAND DUNGEON -- YOU CAN JUST FORTIFY UNITS AND THEY WILL CERTAINLY HAVE AN AUTO-REUP TRADEROUTES FEATURE SOON IN A PATCH :Angry: A:GNRY:

THE REAL MEAT OF THE COMPLAINTS AGAINST CIV 6 SHOULD FOCUS ON THE AI (WHICH ONCE DECLARED WAR ON ME, MASSED AROUND MY WEAKEST CITY, HIT IT DOWN TO ABOUT HALF HEALTH, THEN DECIDED MY CAPITAL WAS A BETTER TARGET BECAUSE IT WAS UNDEFENDED, WHICH WAS A GREAT THOUGHT EXCEPT IT WAS PRETTY FAR AWAY -- OR IN EXACT TERMS LET'S SEE HERE, 10 TILES, WHICH TAKE IN GAME TERMS 50 YEARS TO TRAVERSE, BUT REMEMBER IN ED BEACH'S UNDERAGE FUNHOUSE UNIVERSE, A YEAR IS ONLY 1/50TH OF AN EARTH ROTATION AROUND THE SUN, SO RUNNING THE NUMBERS MY CAPITAL WAS APPROXIMATELY 1 HUMAN DAY AWAY, WHICH WAS ENOUGH TIME FOR ME TO RAISE AN ARMY IN WASHINGTON TO REPEL THEM :B: :aRNRY:

ANOTHER MINOR PROBLEM IS THE SNAPCHATS YOU GET FROM FOREIGN LEADERS THAT INEXPLICABLY REQUIRE TWO SEPARATE LOADS OF THE LEADER WINDOW, OH AND LETS NOT FORGET HERE THERE IS LITERALLY A 'GOSSIP' SECTION IN THE DIPLOMACY SCREEN I UNDERSTAND GOSSIP IS A BIG DEAL AND ONE LITTLE LOUDMOUTH TALKING TO THEIR PARENTS CAN GET YOU 25 TO LIFE, BUT I'M PLAYING A GLOBAL POLITICS SIMULATOR HERE AND WOULD APPRECIATE SOME SERIOUSNESS ED

THE CASUS BELLI SYSTEM IS GREAT SOMETHING I REQUESTED IN MY CIVILIZATION 5 REVIEW IN FACT, ITS GOOD FIRAXIS IS LISTENING TO ME NO LONGER AM I CONSIDERED A WARMONGER FOR DECLARING WAR TO RETAKE MY OWN PROPERTY :B:

I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE HIDDEN AGENDAS, ONE OF WHICH IS LITERALLY 'DARWINIST,' MEANING THE AI CIV SECRETLY LIKES OTHER LEADERS WHO FIGHT EACH OTHER, AND ANOTHER OF WHICH IS PARANOID WHICH MEANS THEY JUST HATE YOU FOR NO REASON, WHAT THE HELL . YOU UNCOVER THESE AGENDAS THROUGH RAISING YOUR 'ACCESS' LEVEL TO THE OTHER LEADERS (GROOMING THEM), E.G. ESPIONAGE OR TRADE OR TECHNOLOGY ETC. IT IS A GREAT SOLUTION TO A PROBLEM PAST CIV GAMES HAD -- YOU WOULD ALWAYS WONDER, WHY DO THEY HATE ME? NOW YOU CAN DISCOVER IN EXPLICIT TERMS THAT IT IS BECAUSE THE AI SUFFERS FROM A SERIOUS DIAGNOSABLE MENTAL HEALTH DISORDER THAT YOU CAN IDENTIFY ABOUT 200 TURNS (AGAIN, ABOUT 3 DAYS) TOO LATE FOR IT TO MATTER -- E.G. OH LOOK HERE THE REASON I GOT SNEAKED ATTACK AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME IS BECAUSE I HARVEST APPLES AND GREECE SUFFERS FROM OCD AND EXPERIENCES EXTRAORDINARY AGITATION UNLESS EVERYONE LEAVES PRECISELY 2 APPLE PATCHES UNMOLESTED, GREAT TO KNOW

OH AND LET'S NOT LET ED BEACH GET OFF ON DISTRICTS LIKE HE DOES ON TELETUBBIES, THE REALITY IS THAT HE BACKDOORED CIV5-STYLE SUPER HARSH EXPANSION LIMITATION IN HERE, SETTLERS AND DISTRICTS BOTH GET MORE EXPENSIVE AS YOU BUILD MORE, WHICH ARE BOTH GREAT IDEAS, BUT THE PENALTY ON THE DISTRICTS IS SO HIGH IT BASICALLY MEANS NEW CITIES (WHILE STILL ALMOST ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, UNLIKE IN CIV 5) ARE NOT THAT FUN TO BUILD BECAUSE YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BUILD DISTRICTS FOR THEM (ALSO UNLIKE IN CIV 5, ALTHOUGH THAT'S UNFAIR BECAUSE CIV 5 DIDNT' HAVE DISTRICTS, JUST UNDERDEVELOPED CITY-STATE-SLAVE-SLUTS WHO TAKE YOUR MONEY AND GET ON THEIR KNEES EVERY 20 TURNS --AN ED BEACH INNOVATION BY THE WAY).

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY THE HELL IT TAKES SO LONG FOR THE GAME TO UPDATE TURNS TO GROWTH/PRODUCTION WHEN I MOVE CITIZENS AROUND, AND WHY I CANT DRAG/DROP CITIZENS ITS A GREAT GAME BUT I'M RAISING ED BEACH'S JON SHAFER WATCH RISK TO 'MODERATE' - 20-25%

[BeBMan]

AND WHY I CANT DRAG/DROP CITIZENS

Don't own the game, but sounds you need to research helicopters first

[OneFootInTheGrave]

More you play, more will the risk raise

Also ED BEACH is really ED BALLS, it's his second job.

[Elok]

Okay, I looked up a list of leader agendas, and some of these really do seem stunningly dumb and arbitrary. It says Montezuma, for example, will dislike you if you have luxuries he doesn't. How exactly are you supposed to handle that in a way that improves gameplay? Do you constantly keep tabs on Monty and take care not to grab your furs until he has his? And Brazil . . . gets pissy when you get a Great Person he wanted. The African dude is very angry if you refuse to tell him about Jesus. I'm not really seeing how this leads to interesting play options.

[Wiglaf]

I THINK THE IDEA IS MORE THAT IT IS A TIPOFF TO WHO YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO FIGHT WITH UNLESS YOU REALLY DONT WANT TO IN WHICH CASE YOU CAN MODIFY YOUR ENTIRE GAME STRATEGY TO APPEASE THEM AND PROBABLY THAT ALSO WON'T WORK

[Elok]

Digging a little further . . . so there are a bunch of mutually incompatible, hidden neuroses these leaders suffer from, and you have to use super diplomacy points or something to figure out which arbitrary thing triggers them, and until then they'll attack you for an unknown stupid reason instead of a known stupid reason. And since many of these agendas are contradictory (more forests! fewer forests! bigger army! smaller army!) you might be essentially predestined to war one way or another depending which agenda gets randomly assigned to which players at the start of the game. Also some of them are just unfathomably nonsensical (don't explore more of the map than I have!) and impossible to accomplish without deliberately crippling yourself.

I was pretty cool with the Civ4 system, honestly, where they just listed in a mouseover why they hated you, and it generally made perfect sense (-10 "You razed my city!" etc.). They all played a tiny bit differently due to different strengths (also Isabella was a horrid ***** no matter what), and I was okay with that.

Incidentally, is it possible for a civ to get a hidden agenda that cripples the civ itself? E.g., Sava said that Brazil gets big bonuses from rainforests. Is it possible for their leader to catch "gotta chop 'em all" mania and completely screw himself?

[Elok]

Sounds like a polygamy simulator: they're all angry with you, you can't please one of them without angering the others, none of them will tell you why they're angry, and everybody talks about it like it's great fun anyway.

EDIT: To be fair, I did enjoy SMAC, but there it was pretty well canon that all the leaders were bat**** insane from living on a planet full of psychic worms, so it was just in-character there. Besides, all their bizarre prejudices tended to sync up with their abilities, which doesn't sound like it's the case here.

[Lorizael]

Okay, I looked up a list of leader agendas, and some of these really do seem stunningly dumb and arbitrary.

Ugh. I want my games to be an escape from reality.