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The 9th Annual Apolyton Off Topic Celebrity Dead Pool - 2016
”I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.” ~George Carlin
A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing women --all at the same time. It was a lovely funeral. ~Unknown
"Rather be dead than cool." ~Kurt Cobain
"You're going to die. You're going to be dead. It could be 20 years, it could be tomorrow, anytime. So am I." ~Bob Dylan
Afraid of death? Not at all. Be a great relief. Then I wouldn't have to talk to you. ~Katharine Hepburn
You may be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the reaper! ~Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)
Purpose
It has become usual to find an obituary thread in the Off Topic forum whenever a “celebrity” of note dies. The Off Topic Dead Pool simply allows the site posters to demonstrate their ability to prognosticate and tell their fellow posters exactly what celebrities will die in the coming calendar year. This isn’t to encourage the death of anyone or help it along in any way, but simply recognition that Death has His job to do, and 2016 won’t be any exception.
It is acknowledged that this sort of entertainment is not for everyone. If it offends your sensibilities, we apologize, and understand your choice not to participate. All we ask is that you continue that thought and not post in the Dead Pool thread.
For those of you who, like us, have a somewhat ‘dark’ streak to their humor, this Pool is for you. Read the rules, pick your list of celebrities and sit back and see what 2016 brings.
Submissions should be made by 11:59:59 PM EST December 31st, 2015. For late entries, see rule 4(a) in Game Rules below.
OFFICIAL RULES
1. All site members are eligible to participate.
2. Any disputes will be discussed in the DP thread. A Judges Panel (-Jrabbit) will arbitrate and rule on all disputes and verify eligibility of all list names. Decisions of this Panel are FINAL.
3. Each player is to pick 25 different living celebrities who they believe will no longer be alive by the end of 31st December 2016.
a) These 25 names will be divided between a “Game List” of 20 names and a “Reserve List” of 5 names.
b) The celebrity choices are to be “Ranked” in order of confidence (most likely to die at the top of the list – least likely at bottom).
4. This list is to be sent by Private Message to -Jrabbit for eligibility verification. DO NOT post your list in the thread. -Jrabbit will post the lists of all players at the start of the game in January. This prevents others from “poaching” your good picks. Only "late submissions" meeting the criteria below will be accepted after 31st December 2015.
a) Late submissions will be accepted until January 7, 2015 under the following conditions:
i) New players must submit a list of 20 unique (not picked in 2015) celebrities. Consult the list in the post below for a complete list of picked celebrities.
ii) Returning players may submit their old team with unique picks filling any openings created by 2014 (or earlier) deaths. New picks are added to the bottom of the player's Rank List. In the alternative - Returning players may create a new team as per clause 4 (a)(i).
iii) Any and all "unique" picks on a late submission team are ineligible for the Unique Pick Award. This is the "penalty" for late entry.
iv) All picks must be eligible (i.e. alive) as of team submission. Any returning player picks that may die prior to submission are removed from the team list and may be filled by a new "unique" pick.
5. The Panel Judge will examine all list names for eligibility (see Rule 22). In the event a celebrity is ruled ineligible, a replacement, if available, will be moved up from the player’s Reserve List.
6. The Panel Judge will not determine if the submitted celebrity is currently alive. If you choose someone who is already dead, you will be stuck with that celebrity on your list unless you notice and report the error prior to January 1st, 2016. If you still have available celebrities from your Reserve List one will be moved up to replace the already deceased choice prior to the start of the Pool.
7. If one of your picks dies after selections are submitted but before the beginning of game play at the start of the year, the top name on your Reserve List will move up to the bottom of your Game List. If a celebrity does jump the gun and die before the official start of the game it is the responsibility of the player to report the early death to the Panel Judge no later than January 2nd 2016.
8. If one (or more) of your picks are ruled “Ineligible” by the Panel Judge, celebrity names from you Reserve List, if available, will be moved up to your Game List.
9. You may only enter The Apolyton Off Topic Dead Pool once per year.
10. Points will be awarded for each celebrity that you accurately predicted would die in 2016. Points will be awarded according to the formula in Rule 15.
11. Celebrity deaths are to be reported by the players in the Dead Pool thread (one report will suffice for all), preferably from a reliable public media source. I don’t have the time or inclination to keep track of everybody’s list. If someone on your list dies it is your duty to claim your points. NOTE: A link to an obituary of some kind is required (see Rule 23b). This link must be in English.
12. All deaths are to be reported by 7th January 2017 (to allow for any delay in media reporting). This will be the official closing day for awarding points.
13. I will update the thread periodically, will post a scoreboard, and will do my reasonable best to keep it up to date.
14. At the end of the year the poster with the most points will be declared the winner. Duh.
15. When an eligible celebrity on your list dies, points will be awarded according to the following formula:
Points = (171 - Rank) + (100 – age) + Bonus Points (if any; see Rule 17)
16. Rank points - The higher a player Ranks their pick the more points that pick will be worth. Be careful to order your list from most likely to least likely to perish sometime in 2015 if you want to make the most of their loss.
17. In addition, bonus points will be awarded when a death meets the following criteria:
a) Unique Pick Award: +25 points if you were the only player to pick that celebrity.
b) Unlucky 13 Award: +13 points for a celebrity who dies on the 13th of any month.
c) Unnatural Causes Award: +20 points for murder, suicide or accident.
d) Party Pooper Award: +25 points for any celebrity rude enough to die on their birthday or Christmas Day.
e) First Blood Award: +25 points for the first celebrity to die in 2015.
f) You Can’t Cheat Death Award: +25 points for the last celebrity to die in 2015.
g) The Daily Double: +50 points awarded to any player who has two celebrities on their roster die on the same day.
h) The Hat Trick: +75 points awarded to any player who has three celebrities on their roster die over the course of one week (any 7-day span).
i) The Grand Slam: +100 points awarded to any player who has four (or more) celebrities on their roster die in the same month (any 30-day span).
j) The Empty Casket Award: +50 points awarded at the end of the year to the player who had the longest "dry spell" between deaths.
k) The Killing Spree Award: +50 points to the player with the most consecutive hits. In the event of a tie the points will be divided equally.
18. The official date/time of any celebrity death is measured in the time zone that the celebrity is in when they die.
19. In the event of a tie, or dead heat, on points at the closing of the 2016 Dead Pool, the winner will be selected according to the following criteria, applied in this order:
a) The player with most correctly chosen deceased celebrities.
b) The player with the youngest average age of correct predictions.
20. If a celebrity has more than one reported age, the final scoring decision will rest with the Panel Judges. Past precedent indicates the “oldest” birth date (fewer points) will be used when an accurate date cannot be determined.
21. a) You may not go out and “help yourself” win. Basically, you cannot kill someone on your list to give yourself more points. any list. The penalty for violating this rule, in addition to any criminal charges brought upon you by the appropriate authorities, is a lifetime ban from the Off Topic Dead Pool.
b) You may not kill any of the other players (see paragraph 21a).
22. CELEBRITY ELIGIBILITY:
a) All of your chosen celebrities must be Human (no animals or concepts).
b) Apolyton site members, staff and family members are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN as list picks.
c) No minors may be chosen (at least 16 years old as at 1st January 2016). Waiting for a child to die would stretch what little amount of taste resides in this game.
d) Selections must be actual “real-life” people, not characters out of soap operas and the like.
e) The celebrity must be a named individual, not just "Pope Wotsisface".
f) Sorry, but no death row inmates may be chosen. If a celebrity dies while in prison, but not because of a state-sponsored execution, (killed in a prison riot by a fellow prisoner, suicide, etc.) that death will count for points. Those sent to death row after January 1st, 2015 are eligible for the remainder of the year (still subject to Rule 22g below - a remote possibility).
g) People charged with capital crimes are ineligible. Murderers who've gotten away (OJ Simpson), murderers still skirting justice and murderers not sentenced to death (Charles Manson) are eligible. Run-of-the-mill murderers don't count.
h) People who are hostages as of January 1st, 2016 are not eligible picks.
i) No accused terrorists. They are a dime a dozen and their deaths are usually impossible to verify (drone strikes and such).
j) No Porn Stars. While some porn stars may have achieved enough crossover fame to be considered celebrities, most have not. To avoid any arguments, I am therefore forbidding all of them.
k) Celebrities or people undergoing experimental medical treatment involving artificial vital organs or animal part implants are not eligible. Pacemakers are all right (Dick Cheney is still eligible).
l) No celebrity may be named more than once on your list.
m) A celebrity must be “famous” in his or her own right – family members of celebrities do not count unless they too have their own fame. Exception: All present and former “First Ladies” still alive are eligible to be chosen.
n) No famous-for-being-ill celebrities (commonly referred to as the “Terry Shiavo Rule”). That is, someone whose claim to fame IS their illness or dying. This rule also covers people who are not famous for anything save being members of a suicide cult, etc.
o) No person whose only claim to being a celebrity is being old may be chosen.
23. DEFINITIONS:
a) "Celebrity" means someone who, upon their death, gets a written obituary in a major, mainstream media news website. A good rule of thumb is “Celebrity = Name Recognition.” The Judges Panel should be able to look at the name and say “Oh, I know who that is,” without any prompting from the player. The Judges Panel should at least be able to find many references to the individual with a cursory online search.
b) "Obituary" simply means an article that mentions the fact that the person has died. It doesn't have to be the conventional biographical write-up.
c) "Alive" means drawing breath, not decomposing, that kind of thing.
d) “Dead” means dead. No irreversible coma, no vegetables. To qualify as dead, there must be an actual corpse. The death of a career doesn't count.
24. PRIZE: The player with the most points at the end of the year will gain nothing more than the glory and distinction of being the best at reading the tea leaves and determining where Death was most likely to strike in 2016.
”I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.” ~George Carlin
A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing women --all at the same time. It was a lovely funeral. ~Unknown
"Rather be dead than cool." ~Kurt Cobain
"You're going to die. You're going to be dead. It could be 20 years, it could be tomorrow, anytime. So am I." ~Bob Dylan
Afraid of death? Not at all. Be a great relief. Then I wouldn't have to talk to you. ~Katharine Hepburn
You may be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the reaper! ~Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)
Purpose
It has become usual to find an obituary thread in the Off Topic forum whenever a “celebrity” of note dies. The Off Topic Dead Pool simply allows the site posters to demonstrate their ability to prognosticate and tell their fellow posters exactly what celebrities will die in the coming calendar year. This isn’t to encourage the death of anyone or help it along in any way, but simply recognition that Death has His job to do, and 2016 won’t be any exception.
It is acknowledged that this sort of entertainment is not for everyone. If it offends your sensibilities, we apologize, and understand your choice not to participate. All we ask is that you continue that thought and not post in the Dead Pool thread.
For those of you who, like us, have a somewhat ‘dark’ streak to their humor, this Pool is for you. Read the rules, pick your list of celebrities and sit back and see what 2016 brings.
Submissions should be made by 11:59:59 PM EST December 31st, 2015. For late entries, see rule 4(a) in Game Rules below.
OFFICIAL RULES
1. All site members are eligible to participate.
2. Any disputes will be discussed in the DP thread. A Judges Panel (-Jrabbit) will arbitrate and rule on all disputes and verify eligibility of all list names. Decisions of this Panel are FINAL.
3. Each player is to pick 25 different living celebrities who they believe will no longer be alive by the end of 31st December 2016.
a) These 25 names will be divided between a “Game List” of 20 names and a “Reserve List” of 5 names.
b) The celebrity choices are to be “Ranked” in order of confidence (most likely to die at the top of the list – least likely at bottom).
4. This list is to be sent by Private Message to -Jrabbit for eligibility verification. DO NOT post your list in the thread. -Jrabbit will post the lists of all players at the start of the game in January. This prevents others from “poaching” your good picks. Only "late submissions" meeting the criteria below will be accepted after 31st December 2015.
a) Late submissions will be accepted until January 7, 2015 under the following conditions:
i) New players must submit a list of 20 unique (not picked in 2015) celebrities. Consult the list in the post below for a complete list of picked celebrities.
ii) Returning players may submit their old team with unique picks filling any openings created by 2014 (or earlier) deaths. New picks are added to the bottom of the player's Rank List. In the alternative - Returning players may create a new team as per clause 4 (a)(i).
iii) Any and all "unique" picks on a late submission team are ineligible for the Unique Pick Award. This is the "penalty" for late entry.
iv) All picks must be eligible (i.e. alive) as of team submission. Any returning player picks that may die prior to submission are removed from the team list and may be filled by a new "unique" pick.
5. The Panel Judge will examine all list names for eligibility (see Rule 22). In the event a celebrity is ruled ineligible, a replacement, if available, will be moved up from the player’s Reserve List.
6. The Panel Judge will not determine if the submitted celebrity is currently alive. If you choose someone who is already dead, you will be stuck with that celebrity on your list unless you notice and report the error prior to January 1st, 2016. If you still have available celebrities from your Reserve List one will be moved up to replace the already deceased choice prior to the start of the Pool.
7. If one of your picks dies after selections are submitted but before the beginning of game play at the start of the year, the top name on your Reserve List will move up to the bottom of your Game List. If a celebrity does jump the gun and die before the official start of the game it is the responsibility of the player to report the early death to the Panel Judge no later than January 2nd 2016.
8. If one (or more) of your picks are ruled “Ineligible” by the Panel Judge, celebrity names from you Reserve List, if available, will be moved up to your Game List.
9. You may only enter The Apolyton Off Topic Dead Pool once per year.
10. Points will be awarded for each celebrity that you accurately predicted would die in 2016. Points will be awarded according to the formula in Rule 15.
11. Celebrity deaths are to be reported by the players in the Dead Pool thread (one report will suffice for all), preferably from a reliable public media source. I don’t have the time or inclination to keep track of everybody’s list. If someone on your list dies it is your duty to claim your points. NOTE: A link to an obituary of some kind is required (see Rule 23b). This link must be in English.
12. All deaths are to be reported by 7th January 2017 (to allow for any delay in media reporting). This will be the official closing day for awarding points.
13. I will update the thread periodically, will post a scoreboard, and will do my reasonable best to keep it up to date.
14. At the end of the year the poster with the most points will be declared the winner. Duh.
15. When an eligible celebrity on your list dies, points will be awarded according to the following formula:
Points = (171 - Rank) + (100 – age) + Bonus Points (if any; see Rule 17)
16. Rank points - The higher a player Ranks their pick the more points that pick will be worth. Be careful to order your list from most likely to least likely to perish sometime in 2015 if you want to make the most of their loss.
17. In addition, bonus points will be awarded when a death meets the following criteria:
a) Unique Pick Award: +25 points if you were the only player to pick that celebrity.
b) Unlucky 13 Award: +13 points for a celebrity who dies on the 13th of any month.
c) Unnatural Causes Award: +20 points for murder, suicide or accident.
d) Party Pooper Award: +25 points for any celebrity rude enough to die on their birthday or Christmas Day.
e) First Blood Award: +25 points for the first celebrity to die in 2015.
f) You Can’t Cheat Death Award: +25 points for the last celebrity to die in 2015.
g) The Daily Double: +50 points awarded to any player who has two celebrities on their roster die on the same day.
h) The Hat Trick: +75 points awarded to any player who has three celebrities on their roster die over the course of one week (any 7-day span).
i) The Grand Slam: +100 points awarded to any player who has four (or more) celebrities on their roster die in the same month (any 30-day span).
j) The Empty Casket Award: +50 points awarded at the end of the year to the player who had the longest "dry spell" between deaths.
k) The Killing Spree Award: +50 points to the player with the most consecutive hits. In the event of a tie the points will be divided equally.
18. The official date/time of any celebrity death is measured in the time zone that the celebrity is in when they die.
19. In the event of a tie, or dead heat, on points at the closing of the 2016 Dead Pool, the winner will be selected according to the following criteria, applied in this order:
a) The player with most correctly chosen deceased celebrities.
b) The player with the youngest average age of correct predictions.
20. If a celebrity has more than one reported age, the final scoring decision will rest with the Panel Judges. Past precedent indicates the “oldest” birth date (fewer points) will be used when an accurate date cannot be determined.
21. a) You may not go out and “help yourself” win. Basically, you cannot kill someone on your list to give yourself more points. any list. The penalty for violating this rule, in addition to any criminal charges brought upon you by the appropriate authorities, is a lifetime ban from the Off Topic Dead Pool.
b) You may not kill any of the other players (see paragraph 21a).
22. CELEBRITY ELIGIBILITY:
a) All of your chosen celebrities must be Human (no animals or concepts).
b) Apolyton site members, staff and family members are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN as list picks.
c) No minors may be chosen (at least 16 years old as at 1st January 2016). Waiting for a child to die would stretch what little amount of taste resides in this game.
d) Selections must be actual “real-life” people, not characters out of soap operas and the like.
e) The celebrity must be a named individual, not just "Pope Wotsisface".
f) Sorry, but no death row inmates may be chosen. If a celebrity dies while in prison, but not because of a state-sponsored execution, (killed in a prison riot by a fellow prisoner, suicide, etc.) that death will count for points. Those sent to death row after January 1st, 2015 are eligible for the remainder of the year (still subject to Rule 22g below - a remote possibility).
g) People charged with capital crimes are ineligible. Murderers who've gotten away (OJ Simpson), murderers still skirting justice and murderers not sentenced to death (Charles Manson) are eligible. Run-of-the-mill murderers don't count.
h) People who are hostages as of January 1st, 2016 are not eligible picks.
i) No accused terrorists. They are a dime a dozen and their deaths are usually impossible to verify (drone strikes and such).
j) No Porn Stars. While some porn stars may have achieved enough crossover fame to be considered celebrities, most have not. To avoid any arguments, I am therefore forbidding all of them.
k) Celebrities or people undergoing experimental medical treatment involving artificial vital organs or animal part implants are not eligible. Pacemakers are all right (Dick Cheney is still eligible).
l) No celebrity may be named more than once on your list.
m) A celebrity must be “famous” in his or her own right – family members of celebrities do not count unless they too have their own fame. Exception: All present and former “First Ladies” still alive are eligible to be chosen.
n) No famous-for-being-ill celebrities (commonly referred to as the “Terry Shiavo Rule”). That is, someone whose claim to fame IS their illness or dying. This rule also covers people who are not famous for anything save being members of a suicide cult, etc.
o) No person whose only claim to being a celebrity is being old may be chosen.
23. DEFINITIONS:
a) "Celebrity" means someone who, upon their death, gets a written obituary in a major, mainstream media news website. A good rule of thumb is “Celebrity = Name Recognition.” The Judges Panel should be able to look at the name and say “Oh, I know who that is,” without any prompting from the player. The Judges Panel should at least be able to find many references to the individual with a cursory online search.
b) "Obituary" simply means an article that mentions the fact that the person has died. It doesn't have to be the conventional biographical write-up.
c) "Alive" means drawing breath, not decomposing, that kind of thing.
d) “Dead” means dead. No irreversible coma, no vegetables. To qualify as dead, there must be an actual corpse. The death of a career doesn't count.
24. PRIZE: The player with the most points at the end of the year will gain nothing more than the glory and distinction of being the best at reading the tea leaves and determining where Death was most likely to strike in 2016.
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