i made a rap song about homosexuals

[Al B. Sure!]

Tell me what you think:

http://snd.sc/KQd2Y3

Pride (and Prejudice)
Instrumental from "Life" by Proof and J Dilla (RIP both)


Thank you

[Alexander's Horse]

.............

[DaShi]

Yeah, I don't have to click that link to know that this was a bad idea.

[OzzyKP]

Pretty darn good actually.

I like Fat Stinky Bish best though.

I didn't know Alby could rap. Well done.

[Al B. Sure!]

I didn't know Alby could rap.

Well that's debatable. Figured you'd like my video game song better, though. I'm hesitant to share that Fat Stinky Bish song with people because people get offended easily.

Thank you for checking them out, though.


Still hoping one of our gay guys comes through and checks it out and tells me what they think.

[Zoetstofzoetje]

there's something wrong with your microphone. the voice sounds a bit off, hissing. also, your country is backwards.

[OzzyKP]

Yea, the production quality is definitely lacking. But I wasn't expecting much in that department.

[Al B. Sure!]

Yeah I'm using a Logitech USB computer mic in a room not set up for recording. I wanted to get my delivery down before I spend money on a pre-amp and what not. I have a shure sm58 (not the best recording mic but still the best omni for its price) but I need a pre-amp to use it.

[b etor]

Pretty darn good actually.

I like Fat Stinky Bish best though.

I didn't know Alby could rap. Well done.

I also preferred Fat Stinky Bish. Just as catchy as Rack City.

[Al B. Sure!]

See that's the problem with hip hop right now Everyone likes me busting on a fat chick more than me rapping about gay rights.

[b etor]

gays > fat chicks

(in the better than sense, not the 'greater than' sense)

[Al B. Sure!]

gays > fat chicks

(in the better than sense, not the 'greater than' sense)

Yeah it'll take a lot of gays to equal even one fat chick, so definitely not the greater than sense.

[Tupac Shakur]

Still hoping one of our gay guys comes through and checks it out and tells me what they think.

You're improving. Your flow is still inconsistent and a lot of your rhymes don't work (secret/decent and demanded/marriage were especially jarring), but you had some strong sections (:20 to :48 in particular, where a solid and interesting flow makes up for some failed rhymes). Keep practicing.

[Tupac Shakur]

Flow is better on "Pride (and Prejudice)", but "Fat Stinky Bish" has better rhymes, probably because you weren't trying so hard to seem erudite.

[Sava]

gays > fat chicks

(in the better than sense, not the 'greater than' sense)

disagree
fat chicks can lose weight and become ****able
although gay guys are well-groomed, well-dressed men (often with lots of disposable income) who don't compete for women

hmmm i change my mind

agree

[Spaced Cowboy]

Al, I'm sorry that was pretty bad. I agree with Drake on your flow. Cake has better flow than you do right now.

[Tupac Shakur]

He is getting better. I still think he's in denial about the real need to improve his rhymes, but it pleases me to see that I'm not wasting my expert advice on a hopeless cause.

[Al B. Sure!]

Thanks for checking it out.

Still waiting for someone gay to actually listen.

[gribbler]

Are you trying to convince everyone you're a homosexual in the closet?

Also, your summary of teh founding father's actions is flawed. They didn't rebel against the British to escape religious persecution.

[Wiglaf]

As part of terms of my early release, I must not review any artistic content on Apolyton for three months. So, please know that this isn't a review of your song so much as a summary denunciation of your skills as a rapper, your grotesque, menstrual-like flow and your underwhelming intelligence as a human being, and also know that, even if I were reviewing your song, it would only be by the most strained definition of the words "artistic" and "content" that I would be punished for it.

You start "Pride (and Prejudice)" with: "He said it weighs on him / physically and mentally / sometimes he wishes he was who he pretends to be / essentially, his destiny to keep a SE-CRET / 'cuz he said the way he feels isn't DE-CENT." Pride and Prejudice the novel, of course, begins, "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good FOR-TUNE, says the way he feels isn't DE-CENT," which I always thought was why the book was famous, so this is a good first impression.

But then you start sounding like my friends when we get high and play Def Jam Rapstar for the 360, around the 1:23 mark. This is the point where you try to unnecessarily drag out the endings of a ton of words in an effort to lay your inner black full retard on thick, like Kanye West. But if you were really black you would know that Ye only resorted to dragging out the endings of every other word in his songs after he got lazy, fat and famous. It's not something you do when you are trying to demonstrate your talent, or when you are trying to hook new listeners.

Suggested rap for your next song: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of rhymes."

You also talk about "3,000 year old texts" that "deny" gays rights, which is pretty lame, since really you can just take your whining and get behind everyone who has ever masturbated, or said things like "Jesus Christ," or yelled things like "JESUS CHRIST," or worn a condom, or been horny in the great big line of people the Church says are grave sinners.

Your biggest problem is just that this is so god damn boring. The beat never really changes, you occasionally raise your voice, and that's just it. If anyone played this track in a gay club everyone would leave. Like AIDS it will turn all the fruits into vegetables, which isn't going to get you any airplay or word of mouth.

[Tupac Shakur]

Excellent non-review.

[Al B. Sure!]

Where are the homos at?

[Al B. Sure!]

I really wanted a gay guy's opinion on this but Asher and MrFun are being jerks.


I have some other stuff up, too, rapping over the beats from Childish Gambino (Donald Glover) songs:

Heartbeat:


Freaks and Creeps:



Thank you for checking them out.