Ladies and Gentlemen may I introduce to you......

[Tiamat]

**trumpets** **fanfair** Are you ready?????


May I introduce you to the new Tiamat or at least Tiamat's real name the one given her at birth by her birthmother........Miss Jimmie Darlene White.

Ok, let me go there......my adoptive parents named me Mary Jayne to be used together as one name. Now I had no idea that my birthmother had named me when I saw that I at least had held out some hope that she had this wonderful girly beautiful name like Catherine, or Cynthia or Sally Sue but honestly I just can't seem to get away from my southern roots to save my life!

I drove 5 1/2 hours up there walked into the court house to the office and told her who I was, she said she'd known my dad (he had been Mayor of that town) and handed me the papers just like that. I walked out of the courthouse went to my car and began to read. Then I saw it, I saw where she had named me. I have nothing on her except her name. Nothing to say who my father was no town she was from, no social, birthdate, nothing except her name. Tomorrow I go to the BVS and get the copy of their records that they have and I'm crossing my fingers that my original birth cirtificate will be in there then at least I may have a start. I do know that my father said he was very sure she was from Shreveport LA. But with a name that is as common as my mothers without anything else to go on I"m afraid I'm back to square one sorta. At least now I know her name.

[snoopy369]

Congratulations It must be good to know these things, at least what you are able to find out, after all this time ...

[Tiamat]

Actually it hasn't really sunk in yet. I mean I have the papers and can look and them but actually being able to wrap my head around it after all this time.....not so much yet. I'm sure shortly it will begin to sink in. I'm totally exhausted. I drove over 11 hours and had to go to work when I got back for 4 hours to I'm wiped out.

[snoopy369]

Hopefully the Birth certificate will direct you to a city, that's always a huge help - and it's possible you could find SSN on that also, I think my mother's SSN is on mine.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Congrats.

I found out my given name at birth, and my birth mother's name, by accident; I was going through some legal papers after my dad died, and came across a copy of the original court order. It was a decidedly bizarre feeling to think of myself with an entirely different name; it's better to be prepared, as you were.

[Tiamat]

I wansn't really prepared. I had no idea she had named me that did come as a shock. Yeah it's a really strange feeling "trying the name on for size" it just doesn't fit. Although there might be something to be said for the subconsious mind...everyone calls me Jaynie and Jaynie sounds a bit like Jimmie. **erie music plays** doo dooo doo doooo.

[SlowwHand]

They don[t usually put "Baby X" on the birt certificate, I did note a blanck to be checked if iI I was illegitimate .

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Nah. You want eerie music? I'll give you eerie music. In a college creative writing class, I once wrote a short story in which the main character (based on me) had the same name my birth mother gave me -- except I didn't learn that name until four years after I wrote the story.

[-Jrabbit]

That IS a bit eerie.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

...and just to clarify, I mean both first and last name...

[Zkribbler]

Zabasearch.com, 411.com and WhitePages.com are good search engines to use if you need to start looking for someone and only have a name and maybe a state.

Good luck, Jimmie Darlene.

[Ecthy]

Good to know you're on a fact-finding mission Tia

Adoption is a mystery.

I've had one flatmte who had been adopted. I don't recall now if she had known for her entire life but I'm pretty sure her new parents always told her the truth. Even when she was 18 (and thus had the right to get the info from the office) she didn't insist on knowing who her real parents were. Only one or two years ago (she's like 26 now) did she enquire. Her real mother had died of cancer several years before. She has brothers who are obviously not from the same father and who she's become good friends with. Her mother never told her family that she had given away a child after birth. I think it was my friend's uncle (her real mother's brother) who contacted her for the first time even before she would decide to find out about it all.

It must be odd to have two families.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

side note on this my ex was adopted but he had his mother and fathers name. He just now met his birth mother. this is 18 years after i first met him. The reunion was a bit uncofortable for all, the father is dead now but he found out he has a **** load of half sisters and brothers. the real mother isnt all that concerned bout having reuinons the sibilings are but not the mother. The adoptive mom was all for him finding her but changed her tune when he met her. She was a bit hurt and upset. Im all for finding ur birth parents but a lot of issues should be discussed before doing so. The thing that got me was the way she addressed my kids(with my ex). They are not her grand children but rather his children. i didnt understand that, i did tell my ex that id rather his birth mother be limited to contact with the kids since she brushed them off like she did. Dunno if im wrong on that or what. I can say he is excited he has met the siblings but not so much the mom.

[Wezil]

Originally posted by Mrs. Tuberski
Im all for finding ur birth parents but a lot of issues should be discussed before doing so.

That was where I was going in the other thread. As all Tia is after is medical history this won't be an issue for her. Right?

edit - fix pronouns

[Kidicious]

My parents named me Duncan

And they named the dog Steve!

[Wezil]

[DRoseDARs]

Good for you Tia. Unfortunately for me, there are no surviving written medical records linking me to my biological father (La Grange County Hospital burned down years ago, taking those records with it) and my mom has repeatedly lied about any and all details she's provided (re:contradictory). She was a bit of a slut (engaged FIVE TIMES, five separate men, BEFORE she met my biological father at least that's what she's told me) so you can imagine me as Cartman trying to figure out who his dad was. Even her brother and sister aren't sure which of her suiters knocked her up and spawned me. I gave up long ago.

[self biased]

any chance it's still your 'uncle' Rusty?

[Zoid]

Congratulations JD!

[Tiamat]

Originally posted by self biased
any chance it's still your 'uncle' Rusty?

Nope that got cleared up yesterday with me almost on the floor with a heart attack!!! I called ahead to BVS and let them know I was coming with my court order for their records and she confirmed that the name of my father was in there. When I got there she came out with a minilla folder with the information on it. Written on the outside of this folder was the name Hannah. Now you have to understand for years I have thought that my Uncle was actually my biological father and his last name is..........of course......Hannah. So you can imagine when I saw that name on that folder how fast my mind was racing and swirling. Turns out though it wasn't him.

And to top everything off there is no birthday or social or anything at all that would help me in the search for them. It said my dad was 40 when I was born which would make him between 86-88 and my mother was 30 so she'd be 76-78. Plus I'm not really sure if she told the truth on the birth certificate. On my adoption papers she signed her last name as White. That happens to be my fathers last name and in the spot where it ask for her maiden name she put down Smith. Talk about a flippin needle in a haystack.

And apparently I have a brother or sister somewhere out there because on the part where it says living children they put one. So if the ages she put is actually correct then the chances of me finding them alive are probably pretty thin.

My cousin who is a lawyer said to go to the social security webiste and since I have the state they were born in you can use their name to look up and see if their dead in corrilation to the state they were born in but I couldn't figure that out. Besides with the common names both my mother and father have, again it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. If I new how to start a blog or something like that .......hey maybe I should start a website called looking for Jimmie Darlene! I just don't have $1200 to hire someone to look for them or a private investigator so I guess I'm back to square one.

[Wezil]

White and Smith?

I bet their first names are Bob and Jane.


I take it the hospital does not have anything of their medical history in your file?

[Tiamat]

Funny you should mention that....I called the hospital and low and behold they only go back to 1975 because any records that go back further then that have been destroyed as of last year. Told ya' just keeps gettin better and better. My dad's name is Charlie and Mom's is Lois but she went by Delores. So yeah, Charile White, Lois Smith. I'm doomed to never know as well as what about my sibling. Doesn't look like this will ever get solved. One step forward 12 steps back.

[Wezil]

If those are in fact their real names (I have doubts) then you are not finished yet. As you know their names, ages, and rough geographic location the search isn't dead yet (even if they might be).

If the names are fake then it will be a lot tougher.

[Tiamat]

Apparently my dad was a driver for a freight co. but it doesn't say which. And again doesn't that make a nice tidy package. If it's fake drivers go all over the country. Doesn't say what town they are from just the state they were born in. Ok and look why would she sign the document to turn me over as Delores White (delores middle name) when in the document it says I was a minor child born out of wedlock. Why if your married would you sign something like that. On your Birth certificate there is a spot for "Informant" the person who provided the information to go on the birth certificate on mine it says the informant is Mrs. C.E. White.

It's all quite mysterious. And leaves me feeling a bit at a dead end. And just because the ages are on there that doesn't mean anything either. She could have lied all the way around. You have to remember this was in 1960 and there was a great stigma attached to being an unwed mother in that day and age so she may have been lying all the way around.

Who knows.....I certainly don't.

[Wezil]

Originally posted by Tiamat

It's all quite mysterious. And leaves me feeling a bit at a dead end. And just because the ages are on there that doesn't mean anything either. She could have lied all the way around.

Possibly. The names don't ring true to me. You would have to research to find out.

You have to remember this was in 1960 and there was a great stigma attached to being an unwed mother in that day and age so she may have been lying all the way around.

Who knows.....I certainly don't.

This is why you should be very careful about your decision to make contact if you find these people alive. You may inadvertently open a very deep wound. Just b/c you would like to find your birth family doesn't mean they want to be found. Fake info on the documents would support this presumption.

[Zoid]

Meh, you have a right to know your birth parents imo. Even if they're dead it must be a relief to know who they were. Hire a private detective or something.

[Wezil]

Originally posted by Zoid
Meh, you have a right to know your birth parents imo.

Consider for a moment the wider policy implications of that.

Even if they're dead it must be a relief to know who they were. Hire a private detective or something.

They can be found. We used to have a person finder on staff. He regularly found people that did not want to be found.

[Tiamat]

I understand about making contact that is why I was going to let my cousin who is the attorney make the first contact if one is ever made. I don't want to meet them if they don't want to meet me. I certainly don't want to intrude on their lives but after two go arounds with cancer I really need some medical answers. If they are dead then the sibiling could provide that. That's all I really want.

I had an excellent life, with excellent parents. I had everything a child could possibly want and if I didn't all I had to do was say "Daddy I want" and it magically appeared. I went to the best schools, traveled the world, was highly educated and most and best of all was totally and completly loved and adored by my mother and father and I loved them as well with all my heart. Those are my parents, those are the people who raised me, loved me and took care of me and instilled the values that I have today. And nothing and no one can ever take that away or replace it.

But on the other hand medical information would be wonderful to have. Finding out that I was actually given a name, all be it a redneck one, but name just the same was a huge bonus for me. That's more then I had hoped for. I just want to know if I'm going to die early of heart disease, alzheimers, kidney failure etc.... I need to be able to give my children and grandchildren this knowledge so that they can arm themselves and take precautions. My youngest has already been diagnosed with the same type of cancer cells I was when I was 19 so they need to know.

[Wezil]

What a few more years and the genetics tests will give you the answers you seek.

[b etor]