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Originally posted by RolandtheMad
Crostoneman: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
Fans: [Burn the witch, etc...]
rhofman: How do you know she is a witch?
Crostoneman: She looks like one!
Fans: [General shouts of approval]
Rolandthemad: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!
rhofman: But you are dressed as one.
Rolandthemad: THEY dressed me up like this...
Fans: [general cries of denial]
Rolandthemad: ...and this isn't my nose, it's a false one! [rhofman removes nose]
rhofman: (after a few seconds' pause) Well?
Crostoneman: Well we did do the nose.
rhofman: The nose?
Crostoneman: And the hat...
Yolky: But she's a witch!
Fans: Yeah! Can we burn her? [More shouting for a few moments]
rhofman: Did you dress her up like this?
Crostoneman: NO!
Yolky: No.
Crostoneman: Yes...
Yolky: A bit...
Crostoneman: She has got a wart!
rhofman: What makes you think she's a witch?
Yolky: Well, she turned me into a newt!
rhofman: A newt?
Yolky: I got better...
Crostoneman: Burn her anyway!
Fans: [Burn her! More shouting of approval]
rhofman: Quiet... Quiet... Quiet! Quiet! Well then, tell me... What do you do with witches?
Fans: BUUUUURN THEM! BURN THEM UP!
rhofman: And what do you burn apart from witches?
Crostoneman: IGMOO`ERS! [Gets elbowed by Yolky]
Yolky: Wood!
rhofman: So... why do witches burn?
Yolky: (After several seconds of puzzling) Be... (After several more seconds) ...because they're made of wood?
Crostoneman: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
Fans: [Burn the witch, etc...]
rhofman: How do you know she is a witch?
Crostoneman: She looks like one!
Fans: [General shouts of approval]
Rolandthemad: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!
rhofman: But you are dressed as one.
Rolandthemad: THEY dressed me up like this...
Fans: [general cries of denial]
Rolandthemad: ...and this isn't my nose, it's a false one! [rhofman removes nose]
rhofman: (after a few seconds' pause) Well?
Crostoneman: Well we did do the nose.
rhofman: The nose?
Crostoneman: And the hat...
Yolky: But she's a witch!
Fans: Yeah! Can we burn her? [More shouting for a few moments]
rhofman: Did you dress her up like this?
Crostoneman: NO!
Yolky: No.
Crostoneman: Yes...
Yolky: A bit...
Crostoneman: She has got a wart!
rhofman: What makes you think she's a witch?
Yolky: Well, she turned me into a newt!
rhofman: A newt?
Yolky: I got better...
Crostoneman: Burn her anyway!
Fans: [Burn her! More shouting of approval]
rhofman: Quiet... Quiet... Quiet! Quiet! Well then, tell me... What do you do with witches?
Fans: BUUUUURN THEM! BURN THEM UP!
rhofman: And what do you burn apart from witches?
Crostoneman: IGMOO`ERS! [Gets elbowed by Yolky]
Yolky: Wood!
rhofman: So... why do witches burn?
Yolky: (After several seconds of puzzling) Be... (After several more seconds) ...because they're made of wood?
I believe that's an excerpt from "Monty Python and The Quest for the Holy Grail", with a slight end variation.
Great movie, great social satire from a great director.
Bridgekeeper - "What is your name?"
- Sir Robin
Bridgekeeper - "What is your quest?"
- To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper - "What is your favourite colour?"
- Blue! NO, YELLOW! AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaargh...
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