FG: Nuclear War XXXIII - Virtually assured destruction

[Chaunk]

I have all the orders, but I also have a migraine. The update is on hold until I can look at my monitor for longer than a couple of minutes.

[Hercules]

Aspirin to Chaunk and then Stockpile to Chaunk.

[Skanky Burns]

Bumper car.

[Chaunk]

Day 6

Greg woke up, feeling rough. This wasn't his bed; it wasn't even a bed.

Urgh, what was that taste?

"Oh no, not again..." He allowed the thought to mellow. He guessed that it wasn't Monday..

After a short taxi ride home for a shower and shave, Greg went back into work.

"Morning all!" He said in a slightly too enthusiastic voice, aware of the s******ing developing behind him. He'd be the office gossip again for the next month. His secretary was the worst. She could be guaranteed to take anything he said and make sure that everyone knew it.

Everyone.

"Morning!" He proclaimed, the smile already starting to lose it's lustre.

Finally, sactuary in his office. Memo's had built up, but they could be ignored for now. He wanted to know about his baby, The Sims 2: Warfareâ„¢ Expansion pack.

"Was it another squishee bender sir?" Trish asked as she appeared unbidden through the door.

Greg ignored the question. She'd presume, but so long as he stayed silent, she'd never know the truth.

"What happened in the last three days on the project?"

"Umm... well... not a lot Sir. They were waiting for you to read the report before they moved on."

"What??" he shouted. "You mean, they've done nothing in the past three days?"

"Umm yes sir. We didn't want you to miss anything important."

"Right, right... well tell me what I've missed."

"Well sir, quite a lot. Three cities were built. Skanky burns rebuilt Frigate, Spaced Cowboy rebuilt and snoopy369 built Porco Rosso on the smoking ashes of Howl's Moving Castle.

"Four cities were destroyed though. Aparently fishsticks doesn't like who's names begin with J sir. He destroyed two of Jonny's cities, Proton and Electron, and two of Jaguar's cities, Mountain and teh.

"Before the nukes hit Jaguar's cities though, a message went up to fishsticks over the open channel: "Stockpile detroyed, procede at will". Aparently, fishsticks sent a secret agent to Jaguar's empire to stop whatever plans he had for today. He was trying to stockpile nukes, but the spy destroyed them.

"The other players were of course being secretive."

"Thank you Trish. Now fill me in on the rest of the scheduale for today, and tell them to procede with the tests."

---

Three players built cities:
Skanky - Frigate
Spaced -
Snoopy - Porco Rosso
fishsticks sent 2 nukes to Jonny, and 2 nukes + a spy to Jaguar. Proton, Electron, Mountain and teh are destroyed.
Jaguar failed to stockpile nukes.
Everyone else was being secretive.

Skanky Burns	Frigate	Cruiser	Battleship	Industrial	Mining Barge
fishsticks	right	cities	sent
Spaced Cowboy
Jonny	Neutron	Muon	Tau
snoopy369	Porco Rosso	Spirited Away	Pincess Monnoke	Kiki's Delivery Service	Nausicaä of the Valley Wind
Hercules	Cargo	recycler	solar	Probe	Colony ship
Jaguar	Goats	be	GAHNIKR
Ljube	nutrient	mineral	energy

Eliminated:
joncha day 3.


24 Hours. Apologies for the delay.

[Jonny]

Tnes.

[Skanky Burns]

Orders in.

[Ljube]

sent

[Chaunk]

And on the seventh day, the LORD God UDWOTed...

Today was the day that the boundries of civility were finally broken down. Today was perhaps the begining of the end.

Today proved the value of the expansion pack.

Admittedly, the destruction hadn't been worldwide. And not everyone had taken part. But then... some had. And that was enough.

Three of the players stayed being secretive. "Boo!" thought Greg. He was getting bored of not knowing what was going on.

Two of them slept in today. All day in fact. Although they met with different ends. Hercules suffered no ill effects from his lethargy. Fishsticks on the other hand...

Well. It started when Jaguar took exception to fishsticks sending a spy. Nukes are one thing, but to destroy his stockpiling... He was not happy. He sent as many nukes as he had availiable straight to fishsticks. Two of them infact. cities and sent were destroyed. Jaguar was happy.

He then became even more happy! Jonny took exception to the nuking he'd recieved from fishsticks too! He sent 3 nukes to fishsticks. Overkill? No, just the right amount to destroy right, and cause cities and sent to become cockroach central.

Jaguar was pleased as punch.

Until he got a message from Skanky Burns.

"DIE YOU ************ING *********!!***!" So many asterisks!

But the message was not alone. Confused though it was, the nuclear warheads Skanky sent with the message were not confused. Four nukes found their marks, destroying Goats be and GAHNIKR.

Fishsticks and Jaguar moved to leave their booths, but they found the doors locked; there was a series of swishing sounds and then small cubes of diced human fell to the floor. It's safe to say that they had also found the fatal floor in their booths and were eliminated.

And then...? Then, there were six.

---

Skanky sent 4 nukes to Jaguar.
Jonny sent 3 nukes to fishsticks
Jaguar sent 2 nukes to fishsticks
fishsticks and Hercules were UDWOTed
Spaced, snoopy and Ljube were being secretive.
Jaguar and fishsticks are eliminated.

Skanky Burns	Frigate	Cruiser	Battleship	Industrial	Mining Barge
Spaced Cowboy
Jonny	Neutron	Muon	Tau
snoopy369	Porco Rosso	Spirited Away	Pincess Monnoke	Kiki's Delivery Service	Nausicaä of the Valley Wind
Hercules	Cargo	recycler	solar	Probe	Colony ship
Ljube	nutrient	mineral	energy

Eliminated: fishsticks & Jaguar Day 7
Joncha Day 3

Some number of hours. Hopefully closer to 24 than today was. My internet connection went down from around 7ish, 10 minutes or so before I was about to update. Once again Ljube can count himself lucky.

[Skanky Burns]

Sent.

[Jonny]

Inne.

[fishsticks]

son of a DOH!
Meant to hide away in my bunker.

[Hercules]

Sent.

[Chaunk]

5/6 in.

[Ljube]

Orders sent.

[Chaunk]

Day 8, time for some soup.

"But it was so exciting last round! What happened?" Greg was not amused.

"Aparently, all the players decided they didn't want to carry on fighting this turn. Only two of the players did anything of note: Ljube built a new city called xenofungus, and Jonny re-re-re-re-re-re-re-rebuilt Proton.

"And that was it. Everyone else refused to tell us what they were doing."

"No nukes?"

"No sir."

"No spies?"

"No sir."

"Bah! BORING I SAY! Make sure they know that. Give them an electric shock or something.

"I WANT SOME ACTION!" Greg pulled a face ().

"And bring me some soup!" he shouted to the fast retreating figure.

---

Skanky Spaced Snoopy and Hercules were being secret
Jonny re-rebuilt Proton
Ljube built xenofungus
No one was UDWOTed

Skanky Burns	Frigate	Cruiser	Battleship	Industrial	Mining Barge
Spaced Cowboy
Jonny	Proton	Neutron	Muon	Tau
snoopy369	Porco Rosso	Spirited Away	Pincess Monnoke	Kiki's Delivery Service	Nausicaä of the Valley Wind
Hercules	Cargo	recycler	solar	Probe	Colony ship
Ljube	nutrient	mineral	energy	xenofungus

Eliminated:

Joncha day 3
fishsticks and Jaguar day 7

24 hours.