Tweet
FG: Nuclear War XXXIII - Virtually assured destruction
Greg Drayton sat in his office and mused. Today would be a good day. Today was the first trial of the brand new The Sims 2: Warfare™ Expansion pack. The programmers were hopeful. The beta testers were ready.
Since joining Maxis in 2002, this had been his baby. Watching wargames twenty something years ago had given him this idea, and now he wanted to make it reality.
War.
Virtual War.
Virtual Nuclear War.
The Sims 2™ wouldn't know what him them. So far all the expansion packs had been tripe on tripe, but this, this was different.
It was multiplayer for a start.
All the players needed to buy booths to play too. Special hardware at 3000% markup.
The bonus was already in the bank.
He'd handpicked the beta testers, not for their knowledge and experience of the sims (He'd turned down one applicant, known as DrSpike, despite his huge, unrivaled, vocal knowledge of The Sims 2™ for example.), but for their complete and utter megalomania. They wanted the world, and they didn't care how many cockroaches were in it when they got it.
There was Skanky Burns, who seemed to want to rule the seas with his "bases" Frigate, Cruiser and Battleship.
There was Fishsticks, with a complete disregard for human life and everything holy. One had only to look at his city names (Oh, right, cities) to see how nihilistic this man was. Surely a huge asset to his team.
There was the enigmatic Spaced Cowboy, enigmatic in that he would only talk in emoticons (
, 
, 
were his bases)
joncha had a badger fetish. "Not another one" Greg had thought, then accepted him and his cities of Lutrinae, Melinae and Melivorinae.
The physics professor Jonny was feeling subatomic. And was hoping his opponents would too, with his base names Proton, Neutron and Electron.
Miyazaki seemed to strongly influence Snoopy369. Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away and Princess Monnoke were all popular in Japan, and perhaps this would be the moment they "exploded" everywhere else in the world.
Hercules was just plain weird. His name suggested he had an obsession with the past, but his cities (Cargo, recycler and solar) were named from a futuristic browser-based game. One to watch, just to see if the dichotomy tore himself apart.
Jaguar liked goats. Mountain goats in particular. Greg did wonder what Mountain Goats be though.
And finally, Ljube who wanted to lay the SMAC down on his opponents. However, naming his bases on what they're specialised in was surely a bad move! nutrient, mineral and energy! Such a n00b.
And those were they. He'd give them a day a turn, and let them fight it out. Last man standing wins.
How was he supposed to know that the booths had a fatal floor - literally. As each man was eliminated from the game, they were eliminated from life. They don't like it up 'em...
Greg Drayton sat in his office and mused. Today would be a good day. Today was the first trial of the brand new The Sims 2: Warfare™ Expansion pack. The programmers were hopeful. The beta testers were ready.
Since joining Maxis in 2002, this had been his baby. Watching wargames twenty something years ago had given him this idea, and now he wanted to make it reality.
War.
Virtual War.
Virtual Nuclear War.
The Sims 2™ wouldn't know what him them. So far all the expansion packs had been tripe on tripe, but this, this was different.
It was multiplayer for a start.
All the players needed to buy booths to play too. Special hardware at 3000% markup.
The bonus was already in the bank.
He'd handpicked the beta testers, not for their knowledge and experience of the sims (He'd turned down one applicant, known as DrSpike, despite his huge, unrivaled, vocal knowledge of The Sims 2™ for example.), but for their complete and utter megalomania. They wanted the world, and they didn't care how many cockroaches were in it when they got it.
There was Skanky Burns, who seemed to want to rule the seas with his "bases" Frigate, Cruiser and Battleship.
There was Fishsticks, with a complete disregard for human life and everything holy. One had only to look at his city names (Oh, right, cities) to see how nihilistic this man was. Surely a huge asset to his team.
There was the enigmatic Spaced Cowboy, enigmatic in that he would only talk in emoticons (
, , were his bases)joncha had a badger fetish. "Not another one" Greg had thought, then accepted him and his cities of Lutrinae, Melinae and Melivorinae.
The physics professor Jonny was feeling subatomic. And was hoping his opponents would too, with his base names Proton, Neutron and Electron.
Miyazaki seemed to strongly influence Snoopy369. Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away and Princess Monnoke were all popular in Japan, and perhaps this would be the moment they "exploded" everywhere else in the world.
Hercules was just plain weird. His name suggested he had an obsession with the past, but his cities (Cargo, recycler and solar) were named from a futuristic browser-based game. One to watch, just to see if the dichotomy tore himself apart.
Jaguar liked goats. Mountain goats in particular. Greg did wonder what Mountain Goats be though.
And finally, Ljube who wanted to lay the SMAC down on his opponents. However, naming his bases on what they're specialised in was surely a bad move! nutrient, mineral and energy! Such a n00b.
And those were they. He'd give them a day a turn, and let them fight it out. Last man standing wins.
How was he supposed to know that the booths had a fatal floor - literally. As each man was eliminated from the game, they were eliminated from life. They don't like it up 'em...
Comment