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Act I Scene ii
Enter KING RAH
rah: Canst the heavens not appreciate that
I hath wielded the terrible forces
of my armies for the good of my realm?
Why then do they seek to torture me by
taking my son from me with neither fair
warning nor the allowance of a death
that befit his stature? Would that I could
save him by offering myself in his
place. Tis now too late for such recompense
and so shalt I devote my energies to
the identification and righteous
punishment of his killer. Chamberlain!
Enter the LORD CHAMBERLAIN
Spike: My lord?
rah: Hast the council prepared their views,
and are they now ready to meet?
Spike: Aye, sire.
Should I call them in to present their cases?
rah: Do so, good Lord Chamberlain. I am much
intrigued at what my friends, and possible
enemies, might have uncovered.
Enter the rest of the cast
Sparrowhawk: Father!
I trust that thou wert able to find some
rest, however troubled be thy mind, and
that thy judgement be as sound as might be
in these difficult times.
rah: Fear not, my son.
Now pray, let one of you present that which
hath come to thy attention, and I shalt
give thy suspicions consideration
as I deem them worthy thereof. Of all
my sons, Lancaster, thou art the youngest,
yet I shalt promote thee to the honour
of first addressing this court.
snoopy: Father, much
as it pains me to suggest that one of
thine allies might be responsible for
such a villainous deed as the slaughter
of your son and mine own brother, I feel
that the Thane of Inverurie hath cast
those terrible darts that brought dear York to
the shades of Heav’n too soon before his time.
Paddy the Scot: Such an accusation hath just brought
thy doom more perilously close than thou
might realise fool!
rah: My good thane, let all
parties feel free to speak as they wilt, and
we shall pass judgement after all have spoken.
Kassi: My liege, I too feel that this Scot might view
thy reign as a threat to his estate, and
the death of thy son as a potential
boost to his own power base north of the
border.
joncha: Believe me, my lord, but one day
a Scot shall sit atop the throne of England.
I too see this Thane as a threat to you.
rah: Ha ha, thou art priceless fool! What wit and
spirit thou stintest not to display for
mine own amusement. What hath ye others
discovered, and upon whom doth thy
suspicions lie?
Sparrowhawk: Father, much as it pains
me to say so, his being first to point
the finger today hath confirmed a notion
I entertained hitherto but idly,
that Lancaster himself was the killer.
His own self-interest hath impelled him
to murder he who standeth most directly
‘twixt he and the crown, and so ye and I
ought conduct ourselves most carefully in
his presence lest we too fall victim to
his machinations. Now my own flesh and
blood, it makes my heart heavy to cast my
voice thus, yet I fear for thy safety and
mine own.
Spaced: My liege, might I too cast my vote
for Lancaster? I hath been much concerned
by the advance of his troops t’ward my lands
in Buckingham, and the horrible death
of thy son confirms his dread ambition.
Jon Miller: My king, thy churchmen hath conferred on this
foul matter, and come to the agreement
that Lancaster’s ambition surpasseth
itself, and that….
Jonny…. He did it!!! With three darts!
rah: Ah, the provincial wit of my late son’s
good archbishop. An interesting idea,
but this is not the only possible
answer. What would anyone else say now?
EPW: It was me! I killed him! I smote his head
four score times with my noble sword!
rah: Ha ha!
Very good Northumberland, and should my
jester ever cease to entertain me
then mayhap you could fill his place.
joncha: But sire!
Geomodder: King rah, I fear to breach such a weighty
matter, but I believe that you were the
engine of thy son’s demise.
Sparrowhawk: Thou vandal!
Get thee gone from this court lest I make an
enemy of His Holiness with one
stroke of my sword!
rah: Nay son. I hath said that
all might have their say before this court, and
that all accusations be given equal
weight. Now, my good emissary, pray that
thou givest thy suggestions some proper
consideration in future, but I
shall not allow my guardsmen their sport as
a result of thy frowardness this time.
My Danish friend, who hath stood by me in
many a dark hour, what conclusions hath
thee drawn from the last day’s events?
Adagio: King rah,
thy son was as good a friend to me as
his father hath been for many years, and
his death comes as a profound shock and brings
deep sadness. I know that I am not alone
in suspecting the hand of God in this
foul affair, and our suspicions fall upon
the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Jon Miller: No!
Paddy the Scot: Aye, ye men o the cloth may well be as
one when casting yer votes, but so it
be that but one o ye hath acted in
the foul murder o the Duke o York. I
stand alongside the Prince o Denmark in
his accusation.
James the Scot: As do I, cousin!
Well might I be aggrieved that Lancaster
hath extended the finger of blame in
my direction, yet I stand with just my
principles in this accusation.
snoopy: Aside Aye,
and naturally those of thy cousin.
Hercules: I, Somerset, do declare that the deed
hath been done by the Archbishop. If he’d
heard the news given me by the Papal
Emissary, then naught but total
would his despair hath been. Were I a man
of gambling bent then lucky sevens can
but bring me more glee than the surety
of this, mine own certainty.
Rubychaser: My lord, I
know not why an Archbishop might be loth
to carry weapons or darts, yet I can
not but suspect this man of the church of
this evil crime, and pray that thy judgement
be sound in reaching the conclusion of
his guilt.
Spike: To Skanky We’d appear to be in the clear.
Skanky: [/I]To Spike[/I] Aye, let us follow the crowd to save our
own skins. If we vote now, and boldly too
then we can survive unscathed.
Spike: To Skanky A fine plan,
‘tis much to my liking.
Spike and Skanky together: The Archbishop!
rah: We would appear to have enough to make
a decision. Captain, take Canterbury
without and make my decision final!
Exit the ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY, and the CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD
Jonny: Will he make a tidy kill of my old
friend?
Paddy the Scot: Fear ye not, wee man! I remember
when we three fought alongside one another.
I was hurt by a loose arrow, and your
good Captain and my cousin the noble
thane stood above me to defend while I
endeavoured to remove it. They smote all
who came near to protect me until I
was fit to fight anew. Aye, he’s a good
hacker, one of the elite, and ye can
be sure that the Archbishop will see the
end of his days in short and good measure.
James the Scot: Aye, a pleasant afternoon indeed. Ha!
Exit all but KING RAH
rah: What hath become of my kingdom? I felt
that we were looked upon kindly by the
Fates, yet now all lies in ruins. Reports from the
west show our forces in disarray, yet
I cannot ride to their head because my
court is beset by murder and intrigue.
Whence cometh relief, and when? Those I
believed I could trust hath turned ambitious,
and by the most foul of media.
Enter the CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD
Rubychaser: My lord!
I have news fair and foul! The Archbishop
Hath met his end with expedition, the
prayer dying on his lips even as he did,
but I hath also discovered the body
of thy youngest son, Lancaster. He died
in his bed, and his head hath been smashed
in most brutally, as though trampled by
a stallion wild with rage. I fear that
this means there are two murderous killers
loose within thy palace!
rah: Two sons lost in
but two days! Can a man’s misery ever
mock his misfortune more? Call the council
together again tomorrow, and we
shalt see what they make of this tragedy
to compound my misery!
Exeunt
Enter KING RAH
rah: Canst the heavens not appreciate that
I hath wielded the terrible forces
of my armies for the good of my realm?
Why then do they seek to torture me by
taking my son from me with neither fair
warning nor the allowance of a death
that befit his stature? Would that I could
save him by offering myself in his
place. Tis now too late for such recompense
and so shalt I devote my energies to
the identification and righteous
punishment of his killer. Chamberlain!
Enter the LORD CHAMBERLAIN
Spike: My lord?
rah: Hast the council prepared their views,
and are they now ready to meet?
Spike: Aye, sire.
Should I call them in to present their cases?
rah: Do so, good Lord Chamberlain. I am much
intrigued at what my friends, and possible
enemies, might have uncovered.
Enter the rest of the cast
Sparrowhawk: Father!
I trust that thou wert able to find some
rest, however troubled be thy mind, and
that thy judgement be as sound as might be
in these difficult times.
rah: Fear not, my son.
Now pray, let one of you present that which
hath come to thy attention, and I shalt
give thy suspicions consideration
as I deem them worthy thereof. Of all
my sons, Lancaster, thou art the youngest,
yet I shalt promote thee to the honour
of first addressing this court.
snoopy: Father, much
as it pains me to suggest that one of
thine allies might be responsible for
such a villainous deed as the slaughter
of your son and mine own brother, I feel
that the Thane of Inverurie hath cast
those terrible darts that brought dear York to
the shades of Heav’n too soon before his time.
Paddy the Scot: Such an accusation hath just brought
thy doom more perilously close than thou
might realise fool!
rah: My good thane, let all
parties feel free to speak as they wilt, and
we shall pass judgement after all have spoken.
Kassi: My liege, I too feel that this Scot might view
thy reign as a threat to his estate, and
the death of thy son as a potential
boost to his own power base north of the
border.
joncha: Believe me, my lord, but one day
a Scot shall sit atop the throne of England.
I too see this Thane as a threat to you.
rah: Ha ha, thou art priceless fool! What wit and
spirit thou stintest not to display for
mine own amusement. What hath ye others
discovered, and upon whom doth thy
suspicions lie?
Sparrowhawk: Father, much as it pains
me to say so, his being first to point
the finger today hath confirmed a notion
I entertained hitherto but idly,
that Lancaster himself was the killer.
His own self-interest hath impelled him
to murder he who standeth most directly
‘twixt he and the crown, and so ye and I
ought conduct ourselves most carefully in
his presence lest we too fall victim to
his machinations. Now my own flesh and
blood, it makes my heart heavy to cast my
voice thus, yet I fear for thy safety and
mine own.
Spaced: My liege, might I too cast my vote
for Lancaster? I hath been much concerned
by the advance of his troops t’ward my lands
in Buckingham, and the horrible death
of thy son confirms his dread ambition.
Jon Miller: My king, thy churchmen hath conferred on this
foul matter, and come to the agreement
that Lancaster’s ambition surpasseth
itself, and that….
Jonny…. He did it!!! With three darts!
rah: Ah, the provincial wit of my late son’s
good archbishop. An interesting idea,
but this is not the only possible
answer. What would anyone else say now?
EPW: It was me! I killed him! I smote his head
four score times with my noble sword!
rah: Ha ha!
Very good Northumberland, and should my
jester ever cease to entertain me
then mayhap you could fill his place.
joncha: But sire!
Geomodder: King rah, I fear to breach such a weighty
matter, but I believe that you were the
engine of thy son’s demise.
Sparrowhawk: Thou vandal!
Get thee gone from this court lest I make an
enemy of His Holiness with one
stroke of my sword!
rah: Nay son. I hath said that
all might have their say before this court, and
that all accusations be given equal
weight. Now, my good emissary, pray that
thou givest thy suggestions some proper
consideration in future, but I
shall not allow my guardsmen their sport as
a result of thy frowardness this time.
My Danish friend, who hath stood by me in
many a dark hour, what conclusions hath
thee drawn from the last day’s events?
Adagio: King rah,
thy son was as good a friend to me as
his father hath been for many years, and
his death comes as a profound shock and brings
deep sadness. I know that I am not alone
in suspecting the hand of God in this
foul affair, and our suspicions fall upon
the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Jon Miller: No!
Paddy the Scot: Aye, ye men o the cloth may well be as
one when casting yer votes, but so it
be that but one o ye hath acted in
the foul murder o the Duke o York. I
stand alongside the Prince o Denmark in
his accusation.
James the Scot: As do I, cousin!
Well might I be aggrieved that Lancaster
hath extended the finger of blame in
my direction, yet I stand with just my
principles in this accusation.
snoopy: Aside Aye,
and naturally those of thy cousin.
Hercules: I, Somerset, do declare that the deed
hath been done by the Archbishop. If he’d
heard the news given me by the Papal
Emissary, then naught but total
would his despair hath been. Were I a man
of gambling bent then lucky sevens can
but bring me more glee than the surety
of this, mine own certainty.
Rubychaser: My lord, I
know not why an Archbishop might be loth
to carry weapons or darts, yet I can
not but suspect this man of the church of
this evil crime, and pray that thy judgement
be sound in reaching the conclusion of
his guilt.
Spike: To Skanky We’d appear to be in the clear.
Skanky: [/I]To Spike[/I] Aye, let us follow the crowd to save our
own skins. If we vote now, and boldly too
then we can survive unscathed.
Spike: To Skanky A fine plan,
‘tis much to my liking.
Spike and Skanky together: The Archbishop!
rah: We would appear to have enough to make
a decision. Captain, take Canterbury
without and make my decision final!
Exit the ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY, and the CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD
Jonny: Will he make a tidy kill of my old
friend?
Paddy the Scot: Fear ye not, wee man! I remember
when we three fought alongside one another.
I was hurt by a loose arrow, and your
good Captain and my cousin the noble
thane stood above me to defend while I
endeavoured to remove it. They smote all
who came near to protect me until I
was fit to fight anew. Aye, he’s a good
hacker, one of the elite, and ye can
be sure that the Archbishop will see the
end of his days in short and good measure.
James the Scot: Aye, a pleasant afternoon indeed. Ha!
Exit all but KING RAH
rah: What hath become of my kingdom? I felt
that we were looked upon kindly by the
Fates, yet now all lies in ruins. Reports from the
west show our forces in disarray, yet
I cannot ride to their head because my
court is beset by murder and intrigue.
Whence cometh relief, and when? Those I
believed I could trust hath turned ambitious,
and by the most foul of media.
Enter the CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD
Rubychaser: My lord!
I have news fair and foul! The Archbishop
Hath met his end with expedition, the
prayer dying on his lips even as he did,
but I hath also discovered the body
of thy youngest son, Lancaster. He died
in his bed, and his head hath been smashed
in most brutally, as though trampled by
a stallion wild with rage. I fear that
this means there are two murderous killers
loose within thy palace!
rah: Two sons lost in
but two days! Can a man’s misery ever
mock his misfortune more? Call the council
together again tomorrow, and we
shalt see what they make of this tragedy
to compound my misery!
Exeunt
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