FG: Mafia 32 The Pen is Deadlier than the Sword

[DrSpike]

It's a MORPG (not massive) with no monthly fees. You build chars and fight in your Guild. Some might call it a War. Or even several Wars.

[Skanky Burns]

Originally posted by snoopy369
Yeh At worst it will be tuesday. You can go one weekend without this can't ya?

Otherwise i could do a short post, but then it would either be clueless or have too obvious of clues in it. Don't like doing that.

I'd vote for keeping the game's momentum going rather than trying to keep quality up.

[Kassiopeia]

Yes. Momentum >> Quality. People forget these things easily.

[rah]

Considering how many people jumped up to volunteer to GM this one, I think we can cut him some slack.

[DrSpike]

Level cap is 20 IIRC so he should make it pretty soon.

[Tassadar500]

Today would be the day he promised.

[snoopy369]

hehe yes it will come soon

And the beta was only fri-sun; but I worked overnight saturday night and sunday night and then had to work again monday day ... So i was catching up on sleep. I'll be up with a story shortly.

[snoopy369]

After the public had left the convention ...

Robert Parker is taken out back and shot, execution style, in the back of his head. Elmore agreed to do it, as he's the only one of them who will admit to a facility with weapons. Well, him and Hunter, but Hunter didn't think Robert did it.

Elmore walks back to the hotel by himself, shaking his head, as he has just killed not only a fellow mystery writer but his only remaining room-mate, with Tom and George P. already dead.
"Well, at least I won't have a problem with anyone else snoring ... ha, ha, ha. Sigh ..."

He continues walking off towards the hotel, glad that he has a couple of miles of lakeside path to walk up before he gets to the hotel.

[snoopy369]

Thursday Night, back at the hotel …

Room 706: Elmore Leonard sits alone in his room, suddenly aware that he is … alone. George and Tom are dead, due to … unfortunate circumstances … and Robert was voted off, in a contentious debate that split the room nearly as quickly as shouting “Ernest Hemingway is the Greatest”… He sat back and thought deeply about what had happened in the past day, and then turned in to bed.

But he couldn’t help waking up a few hours later and writing down a few things. It’s the writer’s itch, he tells himself.

Room 705: China Mièville, Jonathan Safran Foer, and Neil Gaiman sat around the bed, looking at a bridge hand, sadly realizing that they don’t have a fourth player. They think about inviting Elmore in, but decide that they shouldn’t bother him.
The hand looked like an easy small slam for west, but after careful study, Neil noticed something from the south that everyone else missed. Each of the last three hands had been cut and dried; but this one was a bit more complicated.
“Hey, Jon, I think South has a no-trump small slam here. See how the hearts break? And I think that the spades can be played to end-play West after the ace is won …”
“Neil, even if it’s makeable how could you bid it? North can’t get a bid in after west’s 4S pre-empt.”
“Well, I think north might bid 4NT over that, showing the spade stopper …”
“What, are you nuts? Bid 4NT over his partner’s 1nt and then 4S pre-empt with a whole 10 points, half of which are in pre-empter’s suit?”
“Calm down, China. I’m just suggesting it’s possible …”
“Yeah, whatever. Anyway, let’s get some sleep.”
“At least we’re safe now…” said Neil.
“Whatever you say, Neil. I’m pretty sure there’s still a killer out there, somewhere,” said Jonathan. “I just hope he, or she, is caught … soon.”
“Yeah. Tom just freaks me out. I don’t understand why we couldn’t just have killed them both and been done with it.”
“Well, at least if it’s Tom, then George, John, and Dave can keep each other safe. If Robert was the killer, as I think he was, Elmore would have been a dead man …”
“Still … I don’t know. I just don’t think Robert could have killed anyone. But … perhaps. Anyway, let’s turn off the lights and get some sleep.”

Room 704: Ann Rule, Joyce Carol Oates, and Alice Sebold sat in their room, quietly thinking about the events of the previous day.
“I … I just can’t believe it. Tom dead, George dead … now who,” asked Ann. “This killer is just insane …”
“Well, at least Robert is not going to kill anyone else,” said Alice. “No more dead by his hands.”
“I hope we were right … I really hope so …,” said Ann. “But it must have been him, right?”
“Well, you’re the expert,” said Joyce. “You tell me.”
“I think so … I mean, he had a motive, right, and the opportunity.”
“Yeah, and so did you, and half the people there. I mean, you did find him and everything …” said Alice. “And you’re practically a psychopath yourself, after studying them for so long.”
“Psychopath? Psychopath? You, Ms. Ghost-of-a-dead-girl, are calling me a psychopath? Trust me, as one expert to another, you’re the psychopath of the group here. And besides, you know I didn’t kill them … Tom can tell you exactly where I was the whole time.”
“Yeah, right. You saw the voting – Tom was one vote away from being voted dead himself. You and he might have been in on it and gotten Robert killed to protect yourselves,” said Joyce.
“Yeah, you could have voted for Tom if you wanted, but you and I both know he didn’t do it. Heck, you had more of a motive than either one of us.”
“How’s that, my dear?” asked Joyce.
“Well, you and he never exactly got along well … and George wasn’t a popular guy anyway. Heck, anyone could have done it, practically,” said Ann.
“I guess. I just hope it was Robert … I won’t sleep well until we go a night without a murder, I can tell you that much,” said Alice.
“How can you sleep anyway? I thought you had night terrors … isn’t that why we gave you the bed by yourself?” asked Joyce.
“Um, yeah. Exactly. But I’ll have … even more, yeah. Until we’re sure we got the right guy.”
“Yeah … good night.”

Room 703: David McCullough, Joseph Ellis, and Erik Larson shared a room, dubbed by Neil as “Ye Olde Roome.” They didn’t think it was very funny … except Erik, who was amused by pretty much anything.
“God … I can’t believe so much has happened this evening,” said Joseph. “I mean, I’ve written presidential biographies that are more boring than tonight …”
“Yeah, right, Joseph. No president’s biography could EVER be less interesting than a double homicide,” said Erik. I really meant the amused comment.
“Hey, you’re a historian too, Erik. You shouldn’t be cutting down the profession like that,” said David. “We need all the help we can get making people think history is interesting again …” It goes without saying that David was a pretty boring guy. Anyone who can write a biography of John Adams and think it’s the coolest thing ever needs serious help in the ‘cool’ department.
“See, that’s the problem with you guys. You want to *make* people find history interesting. Me, I just make history interesting to people. I mean, put together a mass murderer and dirty backstabbing rich guys, and you get *interest*. Old dead presidents, whatever. But action, that’s what history needs. More action.”
“Well, Founding Brothers had plenty of action in it,” said Joseph.
“Yeah, right. Action? Try dullness. Nobody cares about the founding fathers’ issues.”
“Well, I guess we need to do something about that then. I know people would love my books if they’d just read them …” said Joseph.
“Well, be glad they buy them, if only as conversation pieces. That’s better than 90% of historians …” said David.
“Too true, too true. Anyway, let’s nod off. I think we should get an early start tomorrow – lots of people wanting to talk to us about our new books, I bet,” said Erik. “Or at least to me …”
“Yeah, showoff. We’ll see who wins the next Pulitzer between the three of us,” said David. “Good night.”
“Pulitzer schmulitzer. Only losers win Pulitzers … I write for the people, David, and don’t forget that. I bring history to the masses in an interesting format without watering down the content one iota.”
“Good luck at that then, Erik … we’ll just go on writing quality novels loved by history buffs everywhere,” said Joseph. “Good night.”

Room 701, hours later:
Bill Bryson, David Sedaris, Hunter Thompson, and Paul Theroux are sitting in their room, still discussing the happenings of the day. Paul had been delayed due to airplane troubles, so he needed to be filled in on the action.
“So you mean that Robert and Orson were voted … dead?” said Paul.
“Yeah, dead. They were decided to be the killers … but apparently it wasn’t Orson, anyway, unless there’s more than one killer,” said Bill.
“Wow, Tom and George dead, too … god, that’s crazy.”
“Not half as crazy as things I’ve seen, Paul, not half as crazy,” said Hunter. “But voting for Robert … that’s insane. Anyone could have seen that Tom did it. It was … obvious. I just hope that Carlin and Barry and John are safe.”
“I’m sure Carlin can take care of himself … Barry, I worry about. He’s a bit of a jokester … he might get himself in trouble with the killer, taunting him …,” said David.
“And John, he’s a cool cat, also. He’s dealt with enough psychos over the years after that Cider House book, I’m sure he’ll be fine,” said Bill.
“True, true. I’m sure we’ll be fine now … as long as they keep an eye on Tom.”
“Maybe we should call over there?” ventured Paul. “I mean, I know I wasn’t there today, since my plane got delayed, but … from what you say, I think we should keep an eye on them.”
“Well, okay, Paul. Why don’t you just go across the hall and check on them?” suggested David. “They’re in an even numbered room, and even numbers are on the opposite side of the hall from us odd numbered rooms. They must be right there basically.”
“Well, I could … but … how about someone comes with me?”
“Argh, alright, I’ll go with,” said Hunter. “Guys, this sissy and I will be right back.”

Outside Room 702:
«Knock Knock» …
«knock knock knock» …
“Hey, anyone in there,” said Paul.
“You’re such a sissy, you can’t even knock on a bloody door loudly enough for them to hear you,” said Hunter.
«KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK»!
(no response)
“Sheesh, these people are the dumbest … blah, let’s just do it the hard way then,” said Hunter.
«KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK» … “POLICE, OPEN UP!”
“Hey, that’s … illegal, isn’t it?” said Paul.
“Yeah, sissyboy, it is. And so is most of what I do. You got a problem with it? But it worked …” said Hunter as the door opened.
“Thank god you are … wait, you’re not the police. Well, I guess you might as well come in anyway,” said Tom. “You see, we’ve still got a killer on the loose it seems …”
“What???” said Paul. “How … but … wha …”
“It’s George Carlin… he’s … broken.”
“Broken? What do you mean,” asked Hunter nervously.
“I mean … broken. His neck, his arm … his leg … broken. Some ribs, too, I think.”
“Is he … totally dead?” asked Paul. “You can survive a broken neck, I knew someone in Marseilles …”
“No, he has no pulse, and his head is practically falling off … he’s pretty much dead,” said John Irving.
“I … I … I …” stuttered Dave Barry, “I think … I think I saw …”
“What did you see, man, what did you see,” asked Hunter.
“I think I saw … the killer!”
“Who was it? Who!” screamed Hunter.
“I… I think … I don’t know. I didn’t see him very well … I think it was a him … yeah, pretty sure,” said Dave. “But I know it must have been either Tom or John … the door didn’t open, I’m sure.”

As he was saying that, the wind whistled loudly through the curtains.

“Ahem,” said Tom. “I think you owe us an apology … that window is wide open, and the killer probably came in from that.”
“But … we’re 7 stories up! How could he have climbed …” said Dave quietly. “It’s … impossible …”
“Dave, Dave, it’s okay. You are alright, and we’ll get to the bottom of this. The killer obviously had some ability to climb, that’s all. Look at that rope down there…”

They all walked over to the window, and saw a rope in the courtyard on the ground. It certainly looked like it might be a climbing rope …

The authors woke up the other authors, and they conferenced together. The votes would be tallied once again, and another author condemned to death for the murders they obviously committed …

[snoopy369]

 rah	        George Carlin  
 Ari Rahikkala	Bill Bryson
 Hercules	Ann Rule 
 Tuberski	Dave Barry
 Nikolai	Tom Clancy
 duke o' york	Joyce Carol Oates
 Jon Miller	David Sedaris
 Sparrowhawk	Joseph Ellis
 DrSpike	Elmore Leonard
 civman2000	Robert Parker
 Adagio	        David McCullough
 Kassiopeia	Alice Sebold 
 Adrian Hon	China Mièville
 Lord Nuclear	Jonathan Safran Foer
 Jonny	        Erik Larson
 Nikolai        Hunter S. Thompson
 Whoha	        Paul Theroux
 Skanky Burns	Neil Gaiman
 Ben Kenobi	John Irving
 Ljube-Ljcvetko	Tom Wolfe
 Reismark	Orson Scott Card 
 Joncha	        George Pelecanos

A recap of the characters in case you need it.

Votes:

rah
Ari Rahikkala Lord Nuclear
Hercules Lord Nuclear
Tuberski Skanky Burns
Nikolai
duke o' york Kassi
Jon Miller Lord Nuclear
Sparrowhawk DrSpike
DrSpike Lord Nuclear
civman2000
Adagio Lord Nuclear
Kassiopeia Lord Nuclear
Adrian Hon Lord Nuclear
Lord Nuclear Lord Nuclear
Jonny Lord Nuclear
Nikolai Skanky
Whoha Lord Nuclear
Skanky Burns Ben Kenobi
Ben Kenobi Skanky
Ljube-Ljcvetko Lord Nuclear
Reismark
Joncha

17/17 votes so far ... if we get them done by Thursday morning, i'll be a happy camper, as those overnights got me a day off on thursday. Then i can write something *decent*.

[Sparrowhawk]

It seems that we shouldn't be leaving anyone alone right now, for their own safety of course. Therefore I think we all need to look out for Elmore Leonard / DrSpike, lest he wind up dead too!

/me

[Ari Rahikkala]

I'll continue picking up herrings and vote for Lord Nuclear (Jonathan Safran Foer), after all how would he have *known* the killer is on the loose without *being* the killer?

[Skanky Burns]

For something different, Ben Kenobi.

[duke o' york]

My character seems to think that Kassi is the murderer, although I have no idea why, and would have thought that DrSpike would be a much better vote.

[Nikolai]

Hmmm... While I as usual have no clue(those texts are too long for me to see any clues, I am bad enough with shorter versions...!), I will be without access to the Internet from 1,5 hours from now until Sunday afternoon, so I guess I have to make up my mind. A pity then that therte are four votes on four different persons...

Anyway, while we all know DrSpike, Jon Miller and rah(who unfortunately is dead it seems) is evil persons indeed, I have to blame this on Skanky.