Etienne Bourgeois, Spartan, 2194 - 2299;
New Jerusalem - m.y. 2296
Miriam hid in the darkness of one of the aisles in the Cathedral. She stopped behind one of the pillars and watched a nave filling up with people. Their faces were clouded with sorrow, but Miriam couldn't help thinking that this mourning was only mask they decided to wear. Very appropriate for the ceremony. Like stained-glass window in the Cathedral. Beautiful, but hollow, without faith. She didn't trust them. She saw some familiar faces and felt sudden urge to run away . She felt a little bit... stupid, hiding behind the pillar, not willing to face her own people or friends . But now it didn't really matter. They wouldn't understand, and she really didn't want to explain it to them. She sighed quietly, feeling annoying nothingness in her head, turned and with few direct steps reached stairs leading to the choir. Then she stopped once again for a moment and begun to climb slowly every step. Every dark and cold step
When at last she stopped she felt her heart pounding violently. She knew she was not in a good shape, but didn't have time to do anything with that. For a moment she felt jealousy. She thought of her last conversation with Santiago two days ago. Physically Santiago was 52 years old now. She hated genetic treatmens, and did everything to avoid another four weeks of close-to-death-state. Miriam noticed few threads of silver in Spartan leader's hair, but woman's face reminded almost perfectly smooth and there was something youghtful in her eyes and in her silhouette. Santiago simply liked to live.
Miriam was a few months after her last treatments and already felt tired. Too much happened in these few months and she had no time for reflection. She needed that to put in order her own life.
She stopped under the rose window, silently admiring great craftsmanship of this stone flower-- omega and cross - symboles of her faith, of her credo. She put her hand at the wall and felt its coldness penetrating her fingers. She closed her eyes and lowered her head.
She realized that her shoes were dusted. She smiled with irony.
"From dust were you made..." she muttered, turned on her heel and looked down, at the crossing where stood a coffin. She leaned against the pillar, watching the crowd with her eyes partially closed.
The Cathedral had been built on the plan of cross, like old cathedrals from 13th century. She purposefully had chosen as a model gothic cathedrals, remembering what kind of symbol they used to be. She wanted this Cathedral to be a symbol as well. And it was the great symbol - from the porch with its archivolt and timpanum, to the central apsidiole; from the left side of transept to the right. Morganites' bases were the most exspensive, most luxurious human constructions on the Planet. But they were not beautiful - they lacked virtue which could reborn them, not as a stone, glass and metal, but as a symbol, which would not care of what material it is made.
The coffin was covered with flowers.
The ceremony was about to begin. And Miriam, from her dark watchtower felt that she didn't belong to the praying crowd - there were already thousands of people, but no one next to the coffin. No one who could be called Wetscott's friend. The chaplain had left one free place - and she knew that it was the place where she should be. She should pray his soul's returning to God but she couldn't.
Faith without doubt wasn't real faith at all.
The ceremony started and she heard words of a prayer but didn't join them. She stood simply and stared.
"You should be down there, Sister."
She turned quickly, frightened. A tall figure emerged from the darkness of another pillar and she recognized tanned face and green eyes of Spartan Ambassador in New Jerusalem. And she felt that she was glad to see him here. She didn't believe in incident.
"I didn't hear you coming" she hissed, although she knew even a loud conversation wouldn't disturb the ceremony. Which was quite ironic.
"I have been here for an hour. You didn't noticed me" he interrupted with quiet voice. He wore official dark-grey uniform of Spartan officer with a silver trimming, but he was grinning completly unofficially.
She shot him a glance.
"I'm quite surprised you're here" she wispered and rose her eyebrows in a silent question.
"So am I" he answered. "This Cathedral is beautiful place and holds a great spirit. I would really like to spend more time here, but I don't think any of your followers will accept Spartan officer sitting at the front of the altar and reading a book."
"You may pray." she said, hearing the words of well-known cantique, singing with strong voices.
"I don't think so."
"So, why are you here?"
He didn't answer, but pointed at something. She thought he pointed at the coffin, but after a moment she understood. Behind the coffin stood tree soldiers in black uniforms. One of them, in the center, hold grey banner with an arrow in a hexagon pointed downstairs and some black ribbons, which must had been added especially for this occasion.
"Colonel wanted the Banner to be here," he explained. "But I'm not quite sure why," he added after a while. Miriam nodded, and smiled sadly.
"They were friends" she explained. "Wetscott wasn't really happy after he had realized he hadn't landed with you. But he got used to it and even became one of my advisors. He was a very wise man, believe me. And quite frankly, Etienne, only thanks to him we're in such a good relationship with Sparta. He wasn't very popular because of that... What you can see down there is the greatest gathering of hypocrites on the Planet."
"Is that why you are up there, Sister?"
"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector..."
"I now that Parable, Sister."
She sighed deeply. "Partially. Let's call this a crisis..."
He glanced at her, and although expression of his face didn't change, she knew he was dumbfounded. One corner of her lips curled up in a bitter irony
"Crisis of your philosophy...? Your followers wouldn't be happy hearing that." he mused.
She smiled, hearing his attempts to avoid one word: the faith.
"Philosophy. Faith. Call it whatever you like. Sometimes I think there's no difference."
"There is a great difference. Philosophy ends where ideology starts."
"But is faith an ideology? Besides, we're not blind tools of our ideologies. We believe in something, but we're also still looking for another slivers of the wisdom. That is philosophy."
"I agree, but when somebody threatens your ideology you act to protect your beliefs, not knowing if someday you may find out that everything you believe in was a lie. You're not open for discussions which is necessary in philosophy. When you start discussion it means that you're ready to change your beliefs."
She shrugged. She wanted to answer him, but at last said nothing. The bells on the Hightower began to ring. She thought of Wetscott, of how she would miss him, even if she knew he was now with--
"There are things that would never change, Etienne."
New Jerusalem - m.y. 2296
Miriam hid in the darkness of one of the aisles in the Cathedral. She stopped behind one of the pillars and watched a nave filling up with people. Their faces were clouded with sorrow, but Miriam couldn't help thinking that this mourning was only mask they decided to wear. Very appropriate for the ceremony. Like stained-glass window in the Cathedral. Beautiful, but hollow, without faith. She didn't trust them. She saw some familiar faces and felt sudden urge to run away . She felt a little bit... stupid, hiding behind the pillar, not willing to face her own people or friends . But now it didn't really matter. They wouldn't understand, and she really didn't want to explain it to them. She sighed quietly, feeling annoying nothingness in her head, turned and with few direct steps reached stairs leading to the choir. Then she stopped once again for a moment and begun to climb slowly every step. Every dark and cold step
When at last she stopped she felt her heart pounding violently. She knew she was not in a good shape, but didn't have time to do anything with that. For a moment she felt jealousy. She thought of her last conversation with Santiago two days ago. Physically Santiago was 52 years old now. She hated genetic treatmens, and did everything to avoid another four weeks of close-to-death-state. Miriam noticed few threads of silver in Spartan leader's hair, but woman's face reminded almost perfectly smooth and there was something youghtful in her eyes and in her silhouette. Santiago simply liked to live.
Miriam was a few months after her last treatments and already felt tired. Too much happened in these few months and she had no time for reflection. She needed that to put in order her own life.
She stopped under the rose window, silently admiring great craftsmanship of this stone flower-- omega and cross - symboles of her faith, of her credo. She put her hand at the wall and felt its coldness penetrating her fingers. She closed her eyes and lowered her head.
She realized that her shoes were dusted. She smiled with irony.
"From dust were you made..." she muttered, turned on her heel and looked down, at the crossing where stood a coffin. She leaned against the pillar, watching the crowd with her eyes partially closed.
The Cathedral had been built on the plan of cross, like old cathedrals from 13th century. She purposefully had chosen as a model gothic cathedrals, remembering what kind of symbol they used to be. She wanted this Cathedral to be a symbol as well. And it was the great symbol - from the porch with its archivolt and timpanum, to the central apsidiole; from the left side of transept to the right. Morganites' bases were the most exspensive, most luxurious human constructions on the Planet. But they were not beautiful - they lacked virtue which could reborn them, not as a stone, glass and metal, but as a symbol, which would not care of what material it is made.
The coffin was covered with flowers.
The ceremony was about to begin. And Miriam, from her dark watchtower felt that she didn't belong to the praying crowd - there were already thousands of people, but no one next to the coffin. No one who could be called Wetscott's friend. The chaplain had left one free place - and she knew that it was the place where she should be. She should pray his soul's returning to God but she couldn't.
Faith without doubt wasn't real faith at all.
The ceremony started and she heard words of a prayer but didn't join them. She stood simply and stared.
"You should be down there, Sister."
She turned quickly, frightened. A tall figure emerged from the darkness of another pillar and she recognized tanned face and green eyes of Spartan Ambassador in New Jerusalem. And she felt that she was glad to see him here. She didn't believe in incident.
"I didn't hear you coming" she hissed, although she knew even a loud conversation wouldn't disturb the ceremony. Which was quite ironic.
"I have been here for an hour. You didn't noticed me" he interrupted with quiet voice. He wore official dark-grey uniform of Spartan officer with a silver trimming, but he was grinning completly unofficially.
She shot him a glance.
"I'm quite surprised you're here" she wispered and rose her eyebrows in a silent question.
"So am I" he answered. "This Cathedral is beautiful place and holds a great spirit. I would really like to spend more time here, but I don't think any of your followers will accept Spartan officer sitting at the front of the altar and reading a book."
"You may pray." she said, hearing the words of well-known cantique, singing with strong voices.
"I don't think so."
"So, why are you here?"
He didn't answer, but pointed at something. She thought he pointed at the coffin, but after a moment she understood. Behind the coffin stood tree soldiers in black uniforms. One of them, in the center, hold grey banner with an arrow in a hexagon pointed downstairs and some black ribbons, which must had been added especially for this occasion.
"Colonel wanted the Banner to be here," he explained. "But I'm not quite sure why," he added after a while. Miriam nodded, and smiled sadly.
"They were friends" she explained. "Wetscott wasn't really happy after he had realized he hadn't landed with you. But he got used to it and even became one of my advisors. He was a very wise man, believe me. And quite frankly, Etienne, only thanks to him we're in such a good relationship with Sparta. He wasn't very popular because of that... What you can see down there is the greatest gathering of hypocrites on the Planet."
"Is that why you are up there, Sister?"
"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector..."
"I now that Parable, Sister."
She sighed deeply. "Partially. Let's call this a crisis..."
He glanced at her, and although expression of his face didn't change, she knew he was dumbfounded. One corner of her lips curled up in a bitter irony
"Crisis of your philosophy...? Your followers wouldn't be happy hearing that." he mused.
She smiled, hearing his attempts to avoid one word: the faith.
"Philosophy. Faith. Call it whatever you like. Sometimes I think there's no difference."
"There is a great difference. Philosophy ends where ideology starts."
"But is faith an ideology? Besides, we're not blind tools of our ideologies. We believe in something, but we're also still looking for another slivers of the wisdom. That is philosophy."
"I agree, but when somebody threatens your ideology you act to protect your beliefs, not knowing if someday you may find out that everything you believe in was a lie. You're not open for discussions which is necessary in philosophy. When you start discussion it means that you're ready to change your beliefs."
She shrugged. She wanted to answer him, but at last said nothing. The bells on the Hightower began to ring. She thought of Wetscott, of how she would miss him, even if she knew he was now with--
"There are things that would never change, Etienne."
Comment